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"Namjoon?" Y/n's voice calling my name pulls my concentration from the homework laid out in front of me to her figure sitting on the other side of the coffee table.

We'd come back to her house after school do to our homework together. When she'd invited me over I didn't think she literally meant to do school work. I had hoped for more personal time, maybe we would watch TV or continue our conversation on getting to know each other better. But as it turns out, my mate was unexpectedly studious. It only made me like her more.

I avert my attention to her to answer. "Yes, kitty?"

"Kitty?" she questions with an amused expression.

With my elbows on the table I place my chin in both palms to regard her lovingly. "You're a cat, so that makes you my kitty."

The look on her face freezes, making me wonder if I've destroyed her spirit with my aegyo. She stutters for a second, seemingly lost for words before a disbelieving breath comes out of her.

"I...fine." she concedes and I grin in return. "Anyway, I was gonna ask." her head shakes a bit and she blinks, as though to clear her mind. "You said that you like to go for runs in the woods in your wolf form.."

It pleases me to no end that she wants to know about me. Eagerly I await her question but then am dumbfounded when I hear it.

"So are you ever out...running around. Doing wolf stuff up in the woods and then you really have to poop?"

"Uh..."

"I mean, have you ever pooped in the woods as a wolf, is my question." she says seriously.

"WHY WOULD YOU ASK THAT?" I question, bewildered that this train of thought would even be in her mind. What is wrong with my mate?

She shrugs. "Curiosity. So. Have you?"

"NO." I answer louder than intended.

"Why are you so offended?" She appears puzzled over my incredulity.

"We are ancient and majestic creatures that enjoy running through the wilderness," I said deadpan, "we don't shift just to pass a bowel movement in the forest."

She rolled her eyes. "I didn't say that's why you shift, I just asked a simple question, jeeze."

I stare as she goes back to writing her essay, just as casual as ever, as if she didn't just blow my mind up. What kind of girl asks her boyfriend about pooping in the woods? And on our second day as a couple?

Steve interrupts my speculation by jumping into my lap and purring contentedly. As I scratch behind his ears Mr Lee appears, greeting us both with a smile and a plate of freshly baked cookies.

"Y/nbear, we'll be leaving tomorrow night, are you sure you'll be alright by yourself?"

Y/n nods. "Yes, dad. If I get lonely Eun-ji said she would come stay over. It's only for the weekend so I'm sure I'll be fine."

Since I'd heard of her father's impromptu vacation, I'd been worried. She'd be all alone in the house with no protection. Everything in me wanted to protect her and take care of her but I don't want to appear completely deranged.

It didn't help that as of late my wolf urged me on the daily to do a number of tempting, but ultimately stupid things. Things that I know to her human standards (though she isn't purely human) would definitely cause me to look crazy, and might ultimately drive her away.

Just bite her on the neck. No.

That boy looked at her twice, do something about it. No. He's what, twelve?

You aren't close enough, put your nose in her neck. No.

I want to mate. No.

She's going to be alone. Let's take her back to our den. No.

Remember how good she tastes. NO. We're in class!

Tell her she's ours. No.

But she's ours. Yes.

Then tell her. No.

Kiss her. No.

Bite her. No.

Lick her. No.

Over the last few days he'd started to become increasingly more active and restless. Initially I'd attributed it to finally having her be mine, and being closer to her. Now I'm starting to wonder if my first assessment was wrong. I'd never felt like this before, but then I'd never met Y/n before. All I know for sure is that she smells better than ever and I'm beginning to have a serious infatuation with her neck.

We spend a few more hours together before I have to leave, and as she walks me to the door I'm just as reluctant as ever to leave her. I peek around the door frame to make sure her father is no where in sight or earshot before speaking.

"Can I?" I hold my arms open wide, asking without words for a hug. Her face takes on a slight pink color and she hesitates for moment before shyly nodding and taking a step forward. I don't pause for a second and wrap both arms around her tightly, my nose bumping the shell of her ear.

And as much as I love this, I think it was a bad idea.

Lower. No.

Just a taste. No.

But it's like I have no control over it. She smells so good...

Right there.

My breath hits the skin of her neck and she flinches away, blushing hotly.

"Can you maybe...not do that?" I can tell that the words are more from embarrassment than disgust but I still feel ashamed of myself and quickly duck my head in apology.

A sigh escapes her. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I know you said I," she directs her gaze to the wall behind my head, "smell good...It just...it tickles."

My eyes snap to hers attentively. That's the only reason she doesn't like it? The information I'd filed away for later came back. She was ticklish.

"Why are you smiling like that?"

I only continued to smile in reply. "I'll see you tomorrow. My kitty." After sending her a heart sign (to which she glared) I turned and left out the front door.

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Namjoon is weird.

First all I wanted to know was if he ever crapped in the woods in his wolf form and he gets offended. Then he sniffs me like a dog and smiles when I tell him to stop. I can't understand how his mind works, honestly.

Also, he sometimes talks to himself. Granted, all he ever does is say no on repeat but that's not normal. Why do I like this guy? And why the hell does he like me? I don't think I'll ever understand that. My phone dings from my pocket and when I go to check it I can't help the way my mouth turns upward.

He left out the door maybe five seconds ago. What a dork. I decided to leave him on read just tease him while dad and I eat supper and watch a movie.

I awake hours later to another ding from my phone. I'd fallen asleep in front of the TV and was now under a blanket that I suppose dad had draped over me. Groaning in discomfort I stand and trudge up the stairs, checking my phone only when I'd collapsed in bed.

Why would I be mad? Giggling evilly I choose to tease him a little longer.

With a few taps I go to change his contact name, happiness causing my heart to beat harder as I recall his smiley face. Once finished, I switch back to my messages.

😑

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The full moon.

That was why my wolf was so agitated. It was tomorrow night and really, I should have known.

Our wolves go crazy during the full moon. For most of my life, and for the rest of the guys, this usually consists of every one of our senses going into overdrive. That means smelling everything. Colors that would normally be categorized as dull were bright, and bright colors were nearly blinding. Hearing was more bearable but if the noises were high pitched it could be very painful. Every inch of skin was sensitive to touch.

Taste was the only part of the full moon that was enjoyable. I can't explain how amazing it is to be able to eat something like a pack of ramen and be able to pinpoint every single spice and which plant it came from. You can even taste the meat the flavoring originates from, the salt and four in the noodles.

That is all that's good about it. The rest of the time is spent in a state of discomfort. It's quite easy to develop a migraine early on, and very normal to be irritable. The only way to escape it was to shift, which is normally what we all did from dusk to dawn.

But now thanks to dad, I know that won't be possible. Not for me at least. Both mom and dad have been traveling for years. Mom being a travel photographer and dad as a writer were never home. Between being on book tours or one of mom's contract trips, I rarely see them.

This was how I'd ended up living with the guys. Yoongi was first, and I've lived with him the longest. His main reason for wanting to move out was for sleep. A sudden thing he was lacking at his parents, thanks to his three new baby sisters in the house that took every opportunity during the night to wake up and scream nonstop.

It was difficult for two alpha males to live in one house together so Hoseok had moved in after a particularly bad fight with his father. Then there was Jimin. Since his mother had passed, his father had become more withdrawn over time. Jimin hated being alone more than anything and I could see how lonely he had become at home, so I'd invited him to come stay with us.

Next was Jin, who didn't have any particular reason for needing to move out. One day he'd come to visit and flipped out over the state of the house and the unhealthy food in the fridge. The next he was living with us and dividing the chores and cooking healthy meals and making sure we had all of our school work in order. We'd probably all be dead of malnutrition by now if not for him.

After that the others sort of gravitated to us. Taehyung slept over so much he just started to forget to go home and one day never did. Jungkook had been orphaned at a young age and taken in by the pack. As far as I know he'd never had any problems with his living situation but when he'd asked if he could live here too I agreed without question.

Now back to the problem at hand. Dad made us all sit down during an video call so he could explain it fully. After school tomorrow I would have to be locked in the wine cellar. Since I'd found my mate and had not marked her, my wolf would not be able to stay away from her during the full moon. Our senses going haywire was our inner wolf's way of letting us know he wanted out and wanted control. For me with an unmarked mate, Y/n was an urge I wouldn't be able to resist.

I know without asking that it would lead to all of the things my wolf had been urging me to do. In short, it would lead to relationship suicide.

The biggest threat would be if I marked her against her will. That's not something that is just frowned upon and swept under the rug. For a werewolf, that is the biggest sin you could commit. It's taken very seriously and is always met with consequences, usually in the form of being exiled from the pack.

I can't imagine ever doing anything that repulsive to Y/n. I wouldn't hurt her for the world. The thought of doing that makes me sick to my stomach, and leaves me entirely agreeable to my father's instructions.

Even still, he persists.

I won't hurt her. No.

But think about it. She's alone and it's full moon. What will you do if another wolf gets to her? NO. They won't. She will be fine.

It aggravates me to know on some level he's making sense. All of this leaves me wondering if I should tell Y/n about it. Up until this point she's been understanding, even curious. Should I tell her about the mate bond? Should I inform her that my wolf wants to come out and pin her down and lick a hot stripe up her thighs and-

NO.

I don't think I should. I can't trust myself around her right now long enough to not give in, and this isn't a conversation I want to have over the phone. Hoseok only allowed me to spend time with her at lunch tomorrow because Jimin and Taehyung agreed to go with me. He's smart enough, and I'd like to think that I'm smart enough to know to keep my distance from her until this is over.

Then she has to go and text me something like that. . I smiled so hard it nearly broke my face.

I wish I could tell her that my heart only beats for her now. Time and patience is all it'll take but the animal inside continues to prod at me, demanding that I take what's mine.

No.

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Edited 7/24/21