🐈🐈🐈

Our gaze doesn't break. We continue to stare one another down and instinctively I know with everything in me.

That's my mate

Yet, that can't be true. That's true. Y/n is my mate. This cat is not my mate. This cat is a cat.

But even as I think the words, they don't ring true. This feeling isn't wrong. This scent is...this scent is Y/n's.

One more time the words repeat in my head. This doesn't make sense. Y/n is human.

Right?

I can't make sense of it. Her scent could be lingering on the cat. That much could be explained. But those eyes. In those eyes are my whole world. The longer I look, the clearer I can see it. Every moment we've shared, every word exchanged, each second I've longed for and worshiped her. Like an invisible thread that connects my soul to hers, I know. Y/n is mine and that is her.

"Y/n?" The name rolls off my tongue before I can stop it, before I think of what I should say in this situation.

Green feline eyes widen and her little four legged body stands and begins to back away.

"Wait!" I attempt to stop her but she's gone without a second look, through the front yard and around the back.

Should I...knock?

I can't imagine she'd answer if I did, but what if she thinks I'm afraid of her? The thought almost makes me laugh. If only she knew about my secret. I can't leave here without saying something.

Still, what do I say in this circumstance? Oh you're a cat but that's no big deal, I'm a werewolf so it's cool? That gets me thinking. Won't she wonder how I knew it was her? There's no way I could have known if I didn't have some type of supernatural ability; it's not like I saw her change shape.

That aside, no matter what she is, or what she can morph into, she's undoubtedly and one hundred percent perfect. Now I just need to let her know that.

I wait for ten minutes before I knock on her door. Unsurprisingly there's no answer, and so I continue to knock, way beyond the point to where I can't feel my knuckles anymore. She's upset. We aren't mated yet but deep in my chest I feel it and gradually it's making my wolf more and more tense. Compounded by the depressing belief that this is going to put us back at square one, relationship-wise, I feel like I'm going crazy.

An unrestrained growl tears it's way out of my throat and I know at that point, that I need to leave, that letting my wolf out is the only way I can release this pent up tension. So that's what I do, turning and running as fast as I can on two legs, to a safer, wooded area to let him out.

🐈🐈🐈

He knows.

I'm hungry, and naked, and hiding on my own kitchen floor as he knocks on the front door and that same thought bounces around in my head on repeat. He knows. How? I don't know how he knows, all I know is that he knows.

Steve, paying no mind to the constant knocking, waltzes in and glowers at me judgmentally before flicking his tail and walking on.

I know, Steve. I'm judging myself right now. Why did I decide to go out? What a stupid decision. Because you haven't shifted in over a year. I immediately answer my own question.

I hate this.

I hate being this way. A werecat, my mom had spoken to me years and years ago the name of this curse. Even though she couldn't explain why she was the way she was (because to the best of her knowledge her parents weren't this way), she was able to tell me everything she knew about it and how to handle it.

But that doesn't help me right now.

He knows.

The only people who know are my dad and Eun-ji, who had also caught me years ago as I'd been shifting back into human form. Wait, no. There's one more person who knows. My ex. Even his knowing was an accident.

I'm really no good at hiding this.

The moment he'd seen it he'd run, but not before imparting on me some unwanted last words.

"You're disgusting. Who could love you?"

My forehead comes into contact with the tiled kitchen floor and the knocking continues. He was probably right. This wasn't normal or natural by anyone's standards.

How did Namjoon know it was me? It doesn't matter. Why is he still knocking? He wants answers. He wants to tell you the same thing. You're .

The image in my head of him telling me that hurts more than I can understand. I'm not one to care about people's opinions. So why do I care about his? Why does it cause my chest to ache when I think that tomorrow will be another regular day, as days were before Namjoon approached me? This should bring me some peace. Isn't this what I wanted? I've been driving him away this whole time so I should be happy.

Asking myself the question is asinine because I already know the answer. For just a second I had allowed myself to dream. Dream of a Y/n that wasn't this is supernatural thing, a Y/n that was normal and could make friends and maybe even date comfortably.

But as sure as the tides, there was no escaping this. The moon will always be there to pull the water in whatever direction it sits and I will always have this part of me to drag me back down to reality. For as long as I've wished it, I know with certainty that I won't change.

He knows. And I can't change it.

The next day at school I can tell that Eun-ji senses something off with me, but she doesn't question it. Instead she decides on sticking close, simultaneously annoying me and bringing me comfort. I avoid all the areas I usually see Namjoon in, not wanting to see the disgust on his face or hear the words of revulsion I've come to expect.

Lunch I spend in the cafeteria and it reminds me why I always hang out in the courtyard during this time. Too many people. All so loud and annoying and it irks me more today that they all look so happy.

Without a word Eun-ji places a bag of gummy bears in front of me, and when I don't react proceeds to open it and tells me to say ah. Despite only feeling affection towards her and her actions I glower, but open my mouth anyway.

"Y/n, I'll be by your house after work. Lets marathon Kdrama tonight, k?" she says softly and places another gummy in my mouth. In response I nod. It's not like I can say anything. She just put ten pieces of candy in my mouth at once.

Her hand moves to stuff more in before I swat it away with a barely contained chuckle and she giggles, moving her hand to pat me on the head. Swearing around a mouth full of candy I swat at her again but she only moves to pinch my cheek.

Annoying as hell but always there for me. I don't know what I did right to deserve a friend like her. She sticks close to me for the rest of the day when she can, and when we're in separate classes sends me cat memes. After the final bell rings and we're leaving for the day she reads my daily horoscope.

"With both lively Mercury and lovely Venus in your spiritual sector, you may enjoy mixing with people who are on your same spiritual path."

I blink. "What does that even mean?"

"No idea." she shrugs.

"Read mine." In-guk interjects, peering over Eun-ji's shoulder to see her phone's screen.

"Let's see...this says In-guk is a huge bitch."

In response In-guk gapes and leans closer to the phone. "Does it really say that?"

Together, Eun-ji and I stop and stare at him with absolutely no emotion.

He stares back, dumbfounded. "What?"

"Y/n."

I stiffen at the sound of Namjoon's voice, dread filling out every corner of my thoughts. I know what he's going to say and I don't want to hear it. Didn't he get the message already? Feeling more awkward than ever, I can't think of way to respond to my own name being called. Maybe if I pretend I don't hear him and keep on walking he'll move on?

"Y/n, Nanjock is calling you." In-guk (that fucking bastard) says way louder than necessary, but then recoils at the glare I send his way.

"It's NamJOON HYUNG!" I hear being yelled from behind us and despite the situation a snort makes it's way out of my mouth. "Y/n, please stop."

It's at this moment that Eun-ji decides to stop being supportive and completely turn on me. "Weeelll Y/n, I gotta get to work, so." Then she turns and skips off, dragging an unwilling and very confused In-guk along with her, as if she didn't just crush my last hope of escape.

Not looking back, I pick up the pace down the sidewalk. Naturally nothing goes my way and soon enough Namjoon is jogging along side me, his purple hair glinting in the sun light. In one quick move he's vaulted himself over a park bench and is now directly in my path.

Honestly it would have looked kind of cool if he hadn't tripped over his feet at the last second and face planted into the pavement.

My escape plan is immediately forgotten at the sight. "HOLY SHIT are you ok?" My voice comes out in a screech and I race over and bend down to his level.

One of his hands shoots out to wrap around my wrist. "I'm good." he responds as a trail of blood oh-so-casually runs down his temple.

"You are bleeding!" I point out. "That's not ok!"

"I'm fine." he persists. "I-" whatever he was about to say gets cut short as he hisses in pain. At the same time we look down at his bloody wrist.

What the hell. "I don't think you're fine."

"I..." he glances back down and swallows, his face becoming pale. "It just needs a band-aid. I need to talk to you."

"Your priorities are not straight." I tell him flatly.

"They're fine. I'm fine." he insists. Never letting go of my wrist he somehow manages to stand, ignoring the fact that he now looks like a train wreck survivor. A few people pass and send him curious glances and I hide my face in my palm. This is so embarrassing.

Before I can protest I'm being pulled along at the wrist by the train wreck survivor.

"Yah." I sigh out. "Where are we going?"

"To your house, I want to talk."

I grit my teeth, now feeling torn between wanting to run away from him and avoid this conversation and concern over his injuries. That bleeding is not letting up but he isn't giving me any indication that he's in pain. The man still wants to talk to me. Seriously, his priorities.

Another tired sigh makes it's way out of me and I reach into my bag, searching until I find a pack of tissues. I pull one out and reach up and dab at his temple with it, probably not as gentle as I could have been, but I can't help feeling annoyed that he would do this to himself just to speak with me. I'm hardly important enough to warrant this kind of bodily harm and the level of urgency he was showing.

One tissue sticks to his skin so I leave it there to soak up more blood. His head turns to regard me and I giggle at the sight of one long tissue hanging over his eye and messy purple hair. Like this he looks like a badly done up Kpop idol on a horror-themed come back stage.

But once my house comes into sight, self doubt and apprehension creeps up on me again. Why is he so persistent in wanting to talk to me? One idea lingers but I'm unwilling to allow it to take root. It's too unlikely. What if he's ok with it? There's no way. Dad is ok with it cause he's my dad and probably the most nonjudgmental person I know. Eun-ji is ok with it but, let's be honest, Eun-ji is a special case and there's no one else like her.

Then again. Namjoon is weird. He likes me when I'm mean to him and all I ever talk about is cats. He even sends my cats presents and...wait.

Does Namjoon have some kind of freaky cat fetish?!?

This explains so much.

That fucking pervert.

Wait. Y/n, don't get ahead of yourself. Maybe Namjoon is just a casually weird guy who you've caught sniffing your hair a few times and has weird friends that avoid you. Sure, noises come from his throat that sounds like a bad throat infection building up in there but he could be...normal. What the hell? Namjoon is just as weird as me.

I flinch at the sight of my front door right in front of me. Finally Namjoon lets go of my wrist and as I pull out my keys I eye him suspiciously. Fiddling with the tissue hanging from his head, he pays me no mind.

Should I let this pervert in?

However, last time I attempted to escape him he ended up a bloody mess so he might die if I tried that again. For the third time I let out a tired sigh and go to unlock the door.

My feelings on Namjoon are temporarily forgotten when a tinkling bell resounds throughout the hall and BooBoo is seen carefully walking my way. Squealing happily I race to greet him, gently scooping him up and planting kisses on every part of his furry head I can reach.

Namjoon must have come to expect that I'd forget his presence because by the time I'd finished this greeting process the door was closed and he was standing over the kitchen sink, his face cleaned but still in the process of sanitizing his wrist.

Feeling guilty, I find the band aids and come back out to find him drying off. Neither of us speak when I shuffle across the kitchen and clumsily plant bandages on both wounds. The one over his eye is rainbow colored and sports a cat with heart shaped sun glasses on while the other is bright pink and covered in kittens playing with balloons.

In case you couldn't tell, I picked the band aids out.

Without a word I toss the trash in the bin and take a few steps backwards.

"So..." I begin awkwardly.

I blink and suddenly Namjoon is in front of me, the hand of his uninjured arm resting on the wall behind me.

"I don't care what you are." he says without preamble. "I like you no matter what."

—

Edited 7/24/21