Its been a week since Luke died in the hospital bed and to say that I am broken is a huge understatement.

I feel like my heart has been ripped out of my chest and stomped on a million times then has been thrown back inside of me, leaving me to fix it all by myself.

I haven't talked to anyone since that night that the doctor muttered those two words that made my hands drop the drink I was holding onto the floor, followed by my body. It feels like it's not real. It feels like he is still here, holding my hand and making me smile like no other person has.

It just doesn't feel real.

Eve and Bennet have been trying to get me to leave my room and at least do something other than sleep, stare at the wall in complete darkness and cry but my body won't let me. It's not that I don't want to, it's the fact that I just can't. It's like the devil has wrapped chains around my legs and arms and has tied them to the bed so I can't do anything but grieve in my own way.

A few people have tried to contact me, but I ignored them all. Bree has even tried to contact me and even though a part of me wants to answer, a huge part of me warns me and tells me not to because I won't be able to keep myself stable while I am on the phone to the mother of my deceased boyfriend.

I just can't do that.

The only time that I am deciding to come out of my room - today - is because it is Luke's funeral. I know Luke would have wanted me to stay strong so I guess you can say I am doing this for him; being strong.

I look at myself in the mirror and breathe out a sigh. "I can't believe it's all come down to this." I mutter to myself, looking at the black dress that stops just above my knees. I wore this dress to my mom's funeral and to my dad's funeral and now...

Luke's funeral.

I feel my heart clench as I let my thoughts go back to Luke. Everytime I try to think about something else, it's like my mind just has to go back to Luke. I can even try and sleep without thinking of Luke.

He is always just on my mind.

"Grace," I hear Bennet call from outside my door. I turn my head so that I am staring at the wood that is blocking out everyone from seeing me. "We have to go." Bennet says softly and I let out a sigh, running my hand through my hair.

It's time.

"Okay..." I say quietly, knowing that Bennet has already walked off. I look at the phone that Luke had bought me ages ago and bite my lip.

See what I mean? Everything in this house, everything that I own, every person I see... they all remind me back to the person who I love.

Luke Peterson.

I let out a sigh and walk over to my door, grabbing the door handle with a shaky hand. I turn the handle and pull the door back before stepping outside. The bright light from the windows downstairs makes me close my eyes for a brief second, trying to adjust to how bright it is.

After a few seconds, I open my eyes and blink a few times before making my way down the stairs. I know I probably look like I haven't slept in days but I have, it's only because I have spent half of the day crying my eyes out.

Eve notices me walking down the stairs and she walks over to me. "Hey," Eve mumbles and I send her a wave.

"Hi." I say, my voice coming out raspy. I let out a cough to clear my throat and look up at Eve who is smiling down at me.

"Uh, I decided to move the trip down to my hometown until next month because of... everything." Eve says and I frown.

"You don't have to do that..." I say quietly and Eve shakes her head, waving me off.

"But I am. I know your not ready for any interaction with anyone and I'm not going to force you. I can wait till you are ready." Eve says and I can't help but look down at the baby bump that is clearly visible now.

"You look beautiful by the way." Eve says and I can't help but remember the exact words that came out of Luke's mouth.

He leans down and brings his lips next to my ear, kissing it. I close my eyes, my blush still on my cheeks.

"You look beautiful by the way." Luke whispers in my ear, making my blush darken.

I shake my head slightly and clear my throat again. "Where is Bennet?" I ask and Eve points behind her.

"In the car. You ready to go?" Eve asks and I nod. Eve begins to walk towards the front door and I walk out of the house, closing the door behind me.

I am so not ready for any of this...

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"My s-son was the most bright, ch-cheerful and happy boy and thats what he would've w-wanted us to remember him as." Bree finishes and the people in the church clap, watching as Bree makes her way down from the stage and towards he seat which is next to me. Bree wipes away her tears and let's out a heavy sigh.

"Its your t-turn, Grace." Bree says weakly to me and I gulp, gathering the palm cards in my hands and standing up from my seat. I feel all eyes on me but I try to ignore them as I make my way to the podium. When I do, I breathe out a sigh and place the palm cards on the glass podium, adjusting the microphone that is connected to the podium.

I look up at the crowd and look and look at everyone who is waiting patiently for me to speak, knowing that it may take me a few seconds to collect myself.

The truth is, I am not collected and I never will be.

They just don't know that.

I bite my lip and look down at my palm cards before looking back up at everyone. Before I know it, I find myself speaking into the microphone as I read off of my palm cards.

"Most of you don't know me... but that's okay. I am usually known as the nobody at my school but one day, one boy made me feel like I was somebody." I let out a shaky breath and close my eyes, the image of my deceased boyfriend appear in my head.

"L-Luke Peterson." I say quietly. I open my eyes and bite my lip, continuing to read off the palm cards.

"That day that Luke had approached me, I was confused. Why would somebody like him want to help someone like me? From that day though, I slowly began to see the real side of Luke, not the side that everyone said he was. Luke was always smiling and when I was with him, I couldn't help but smile too." I say, flipping the card to the back and reading off the next one.

"Luke will always be someone who will stay in my heart, along with my parents, and no one can change that. Some of you might have different perspectives of Luke, good or bad, but during the few months that I spent with Luke, the side that always stuck out more was the fact that he was always willing to put himself second... which is something that will stick with me forever." I say, holding back the tears that are threatening to fall. I suck in a breath and close my eyes, lowing my head a little to try and calm my racing heart down.

"Luke... was everything to me and no one may have known this but aside from the fact that I fell in love with the guy with blonde hair and blue eyes, he showed me that even though you might be stuck in a deep, dark whole, you can always find the light and to me, Luke was my light." I say and I turn to the side to look at the coffin that has Luke's body in it.

"I'll miss you, Luke." I say quietly before gathering my cards and walking off the stage. A few people clap and instead of sitting back in my seat, I walk straight down the aisle and out of the church. Suddenly, without warning, the tears fall from my eyes and I fall down on the grass, grabbing at my hair.

"Why, Luke, why?" I mumble, not bothering to wipe the tears that are falling down my face. I hear the door open and I look up to see Eve standing there with a frown on her face. I wave her off and lower my head again.

"Please... just leave me alone." I say and Eve crouches down and takes something out of her pocket. She places it in front of me and kisses my forehead.

"Luke told me to give you this." Eve whispers quietly before standing up and walking back in the church. I hold back a sob and look at the paper that is folded up into the shape of a square. I grab the paper, the tears still falling and unfold it.

All of a sudden, the words 'Dear Gracie' come into my sight and I bite my lip and suck in a deep breath before reading what is on the piece of paper.

Dear Gracie,

If I am not here anymore, you can continue to read this. If I am though, just stop, rip up the letter and throw it in the bin because there is no reason why you should be reading this if I am still alive. That would make everything awkward when I see you.

I asked Eve to give this to you if I don't make it and if you are reading this now, Eve has obviously given you it. Make sure to thank her.

Okay, you are probably crying your eyes out while reading this but everything will be okay, Gracie. I'm so sure of it. You know how I know this? Because when I first met you, the day when you were leaning against the lockers crying, I knew you were strong. You were still here surviving and you still are now. You are so strong, Gracie. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If they do, call them gorilla's. That's the best way to do it.

Moving onto the serious stuff though, what Nicole was telling me when you were going to go get some more food was about this. I told her about my condition because she is the only person I felt like I should tell. I know we have had our rough times but that's in the past now and since you and her are like best friends now, I felt like I had to solve the conflict between the two of us. Anyway, Nicole was saying that I had to tell you about what I had and so, I am writing it to you now because I just couldn't find it in myself to tell you in person. You would be too stressed out with everything and I didn't want to add that to your list. I know that makes me a coward but I am telling you now and that should be enough...

I have... well, had cancer.

Beside the fact though, I love you, Grace. You are honestly the best thing that has happened to me and if it wasn't for Daniel, I wouldn't have met the person behind the piercings and purple hair. Your future children should be grateful that they have a mother like you because you have been through so much. You have to tell them stories about us though. Stuff your future husband. I don't care. He can go kiss my butt if he has a problem with me.

Well, I'm going to leave this short because I have to leave to get to the dance tonight. I never wanted to end it this way but life hates me so... what can you do?

I may have saved you from jumping but I guess you can't save me from falling.

I love you Gracie. Don't miss me too much.

- L.P

The tears continue to fall but what makes the small, sad laugh escape my lips is the small smiley face and love heart next to his initials.

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