《Saving Gracie | ✓》Chapter Forty Four: I Miss Them.
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I feel my heart practically stop when the words finally register in my head after two long minutes. My blood runs cold and I stand up, ignoring Jackson's questioning looks.
Eve is pregnant... with my father's child? Oh who am I kidding? Of course it is my father. Wait, what will my mom think about this? No, that's not what I should be thinking about.
The question that I should be asking myself is:
What do I think about this?
"Where are you going?" Jackson asks and I walk to the door, grab my coat off the rack and open the front door.
"For a walk." I say, not bothering to look back at Jackson. Before he can say a word, I walk out the door and begin to walk to the only place where I can actually let my thoughts take over my mind.
●●●
"And then he told me that Eve is pregnant with his child." I say, playing with my fingers as I look down at the ground. I wait for a few minutes and let out a sigh, looking up at the gravestone.
"I don't know if I should be happy or not. I mean, is it bad to be happy about this sort of stuff?" I ask, looking at my mom's name. I swallow the lump in my throat and let out a dry laugh.
"Wow, look at me. Talking to my dead mother who only appears in my dreams. I guess someone needs to go to the mental house." I say and I feel a hand on my shoulder, making me jump in fright. I look over my shoulder to see Eve sending me a small smile.
"E-Eve..." I say, holding my chest. Eve sits down next to me and wraps her cardigan around her.
"You hate me, don't you?" Eve asks and my eyes widen. I shake my head and frown at Eve.
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"Hate you? Why would I hate you?" I ask and Eve places her hand on her stomach, her own frown on her face. I look down at her stomach for a brief two seconds before looking back at Eve.
"Hate is a strong word." I say and Eve nods.
"I know..." Eve says, glancing over at my father's gravestone which is next to my mom's. She smiles and runs her hand over the words 'loving father' and I can't help but look away.
I can't cry.
"You know, I found that letter in your parents' room the other night." Eve says and my head turns to her, my eyes wide.
"What did you do with it?" I ask, not wanting her to say that she thrown it out or something. I totally forgot about that letter...
"Well, first of all, I read it." Eve says and I nod. "The news was a huge shock to you I'm guessing?" Eve asks and I nod, not saying a word.
She goes into her pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. I gasp when I realise that it is the letter. Eve holds it out so I can grab it and I hesitate.
"I..." I look away from the letter and blink away the tears that are trying to escape my eyes. Eve sighs and moves my head with her hand so I can look at her.
"You can cry, Grace. It's okay to cry." As Eve says this, she takes my hand, opens it up and places the letter in it. I look down at it and when I see my name on the front, I feel the first tear fall.
"I miss them." I choke out and Eve nods.
"I know you do. Look," Eve points at the spot between my parents' grave and she sticks her finger into the grass that is separating my parents. She holds her hand out and I give her the letter, watching what she is doing. She rolls the letter up and places it in the hole that is in the ground. The letter is sticking out of the ground and before she can dig any further, I stop her.
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"I like it this way." I say and Eve smiles, nodding. She claps her hands, getting the dirt off it and stands up. She holds her hand out and I grab it, letting Eve help me up. As Eve begins to walk away, I look behind me and take one last look at my parents, a small smile forming on my face.
"Forever and always."
●●●
Dear Diary,
I haven't wrote in this for a while now so... here I am! The last time I wrote in this was when I nearly jumped of the school's building. Ever since that day, a lot of things have happened but the three main things are:
- Luke and I are now dating
- Nicole and I are friends again
- Eve is pregnant
About the first one, it has been... I think a month now since we started dating. I don't know becsuse I haven't been counting. I am just not the person who counts the time that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend start dating. I find it weird. Anyway, there have been a lot of ups and downs such as Luke's ex girlfriend coming back to 'get revenge' or whatever she wanted to do and when I read a message on Luke's phone that had said something about a dare. The dare was about me, obviously, and what is basically was, was that if Luke started to talk to me and eventually lead onto something serious or whatever, he would get five hundred dollars to save his dying father. Unfortunately, even though Luke had received the money and gave it to the doctors for his father to have the operation, his father couldn't be saved and that tore Luke and his mom apart to the point where Luke's mom wanted to die.
The second one... well, there isn't much to say about this. I guess it was just that loneliness (even though I still had Luke by my side) got to me and made me want a best friend again, even if it had to be that one person who bullied me every day for the past six years or whatever. What ran through my mind that day when she asked me to be her friend was the saying 'forgive and forget' which is why I accepted to be Nicole's friend again.
The last one basically says it all. Eve is pregnant and with my father's child. Oh, and that's another thing... my father also passed away. My life is so damn great, right? I don't know how this baby is going to live but all I know is that this baby, a girl or a boy, is going to be my half brother or sister which make some somewhat happy. I have never had siblings but the thought of having one makes me happy because I never had that person who looks at me and is proud to call me their sister, daughter or even their friend. All I know is that I have to not ruin my chances of making my half brother or sister hate me because that would make me feel so bad about myself. I'm going to try my hardest to prove to this child that I can be someone they can talk to... even though I didn't have that at all.
Until next time...
- Grace Leigh Parkinson
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