《Adventures Of The Warriors And The Dead》Chapter 36 Fili Durin
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Allie
~~~
Thorin found me collapsed outside the gates of Dale, my wings folded back into my skin and all the glow in my flesh gone.
He took me back to the tent, where what is left of my friends rest.
~~~
I awaken once more in the dead of night, what feels like only minutes later, to hear Emily gasping for breath as she sobs.
The funeral for her love is tomorrow and I imagine she is beginning to feel the new reality.
~~~
Emily
~~~
Allie is by my side as soon as my tears begin to disrupt the silent night. My chest hurts and the sobs make me shake and waiver.
"Dear Emily," she croons and takes my hand in hers. Her presence and touch offer little comfort to soothe the open wound in my soul. "Would you allow me to ease your pain?"
"If you take this pain then I will live to see decades without him," I utter and weakly lift my blankets to show her the growing blackness around my arrow wound.
The arrow was a morgue shaft, a poison that has been slowly killing me. With the fire in my veins it should be healing, but my grief has weakened me.
"Oh Emily," Allie sighs and places her free hand over the injury. "Allow me to assists in your healing."
"No!" I exclaim harshly and try to bat her hand away. "Don't! Please Allie!"
"You wish for me to let you die?" Allie whispers tersely and tears start swelling in her eyes. "Emily I cannot. You mustn't ask this of me, I beg of you not to."
"Allison please, be my angel of death and help me to leave this earth," I beg and Allie gapes at me. "Be my angel Allie."
"I can't Emily," she sobs. "Please don't make me do this, I can't do this."
"You will not be killing me Allison, I am already dead."
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"But you live! You must live Emily! You must live for Sam, for Bilbo, for me! For his memory," she persists and presses her hand against my midriff. "Forgive me but I cannot allow you to go."
"No Allie!" I hiss as her veins start to run black and the pain lessens significantly. "Stop! Please I beg of you to stop!"
"Emily Writle," she says and my gaze meets hers. The eyes of my friend are glowing and have turned completely white.
In this moment I know she means to use her voice and divinity to gift me with peace, only not the kind I desire.
"Allie, I know what you mean to do." She says nothing so I inhale deeply and continue. "And I thank you for mending my mind."
"Can you forgive me for manipulating your thoughts, for forcing you to live."
"I can."
~~~
Allie
~~~
It's an invitation to continue so I summon the last of my angelic power.
My sorrows of this age will weigh me down and prevent future use of the grace I once wielded. I shall not fly again soon, maybe not ever.
"Emily Writle," I begin and alight my gaze with force. "You will survive past the funeral of Fili Durin, you will move on to become a princess of Erebor, you shall reside here for as long as it eases the pain and then you will go wherever your next adventure leads, you will live to see happier days that help with this loss, you will grow stronger from this, and Emily Writle I promise you will not be sad forever."
Emily manages a smile at me as my words filter into her mind and take root. Every last notion I spoke of will come to pass, as my final act of divinity before surrender to a forlorn mortal life.
"Now sleep Dragon Daughter and tomorrow we who remain shall all stand at your side as you endure this."
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~~~
It rains in Dale and the sun never seems to rise as the sleepless night passes.
Thorin, Emily, and I prepare in the tent together prior to the beginning of the march. Emily is sitting while I stand beside Thorin.
"Be strong for me my love, I know you can be," I say to him as I fasten his mourning garb. "You both must be strong and you must remember there was no love lost on that battlefield. Those we love may have died but we will continue to love them and their love for us is immortalized in their heroics."
"Yes, no love was lost," Emily repeats quietly. The hobbit is clothed in traditional dwarrow mourning garb that I pulled from the wreckage of Erebor and had washed.
Solemnly I hold my hand out to Emily and she stares at me.
"If I take your hand and step out into this foggy morning then I will have accepted Fili's death, I will have accepted that this is his funeral," Emily croaks brokenly. "I will have to accept that this is all over."
"Emily I offer you my hand so that I may walk you into a new life, so that we may stand together in the face of a world we both wish was better. If we do not say goodbye then we cannot move forward, and they would want us to, Fili would want you to."
"Yes I suppose you're right," Emily agrees and blinks her glazed over eyes.
Soon she lifts her pale hand weakly and slots it into mine, standing as she does.
Thorin wraps an arm around my shoulder and I pull Emily closer so we can exit the tent together; we are the future royal family of Erebor. When Dis, Thorin's sister, arrives there will be four of us, but no more than that.
Outside the stone coffin of Fili Durin awaits. Fili's casket, being completely stone unlike Kili's, is too heavy to carry so it sits on a cart to be pushed to the tomb.
Emily approaches the closed stone and takes her place behind it. In the front Dwalin and Balin hold the handles and begin pulling the prince to his final resting place.
~~~
Emily
~~~
Dwalin and Balin, with the help of Bifur and Oin, lift Fili onto the cobblestone pedestal beside his brother and then step back.
All eyes go to me, but I remain staring at the floor.
A step forward, keep breathing just like Allie said.
Another step, ignore the pounding in my head and churning in my stomach.
A third step, the casket feels too close and it'll be over too soon.
Final step, my hand grasps the edge of the coffin and the tension snaps.
I've reached the end, it's all coming down on top of me.
Slowly I lean down and kiss the stone, wishing I was kissing my love who lays just beneath it.
"I will miss you forever Fili Durin, but I shall love you twice as long."
There is no other words to be said for the gathered mourners to hear. The thoughts in my mind are scattered in repetitive mutterings of 'I love him', 'I tried to save him', and 'he's gone.' Stupidly my childish mind demands that this is a nightmare because soulmates always end up together.
In the corner of my eye I see Allie move to offer me comfort, but I hold up my hand and she stops.
Turning I face the present dwarves, humans, hobbits, and elves.
"I intend to serve Erebor in place of Prince Fili as princess to the best of my ability," I declare solemnly. "Erebor has had many sad chapters, but I believe and I will assure it is not a sad story."
Angling my head I give one last look to the casket. Fresh air fills my lungs as the tears dry from my cheeks and my hand falls from the stone tomb. I am not ready to go, but I have to leave him behind so I may live on.
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