I flinch every time I hear the sound of my father's hand making contact with my mom's body. I try to block out the cries. I try so hard but I can’t. I just can’t.

Every time he's done hitting her, he usually starts to drink himself to oblivion.

I've tried stopping him but he just seem to fuel him more towards my mom.

I was an only child for which I was both for grateful and sad. I wouldn't have liked if my brother or sister had to live with what I do but I would’ve loved a shoulder to cry on, someone to share all my secrets with, someone to make memories with.

My mom, by day a hard worker and by night a punching bag. Our lives continued like this until one day it almost ended for us.

******

"LISA!" The shrill voice of my boss pulls me out of my depressing thoughts. I've learned not to flinch every time she yells. I think of it as the way she normally talks.

This was job number...I lost count. I would, at first, loose them because my dad would leave bruises on my arms. I tried covering them but one way or another, my bosses would find them.

Not good for their image I suppose.

I know it's not their fault, it was no one’s fault except my dad’s.

"I need you to get table 6 some sweet tea." Ahh, yes sweet tea runs out here as quick as our money for rent. It happens when you live in Texas. I stop what I was doing and make my way to table 6.

I try not to groan when I realize who was sitting at table 6. If home was such a bad place, high school was no better. I had no friends, they all thought I was weird because I chose to read books and spend a lot of time in the library. I would wear clothes that covered all my body. I didn’t need to take a chance and have people know about my bruises. However, that didn’t last long and soon it got worse when they found out that my mom and I were beaten.

After that, no one would even look at me.

I don’t know whether it was because some really didn’t care or because they simply choose to ignore the poor girl.

I've never had a best friend or a boyfriend. Who I'm kidding? I’ve never even been kissed! How sad for a girl who is almost twenty. But I got over it when, at 15, I realized that I didn't need all that in high school to feel complete, I just needed to worry about studies. I was great in school, I loved my English class. I loved to take my journal out and write love stories. I loved romance. I loved the warm, fuzzy feeling the characters had for each other, the way they always ended up together.

Then I graduated.

But I didn't get to go to college. We didn't have enough money to send me.

So now at the age of 20, almost 21, I'm still trying to save money. I, however, still write stories in the hope that one day they will get published. I know I may not have proper training but I from what I would gather from other novels and tips from the internet I just hope that one day I can reach my potential.

"Well if it isn't the bruised bookworm." And of course, I would get bullied (verbally) at school, by no other than the queen bee, Annabelle Williams.

The perfect girl.

Captain cheerleader, dating the quarterback, but messing with other guys behind his back. He was probably doing the same. Together, they ruled the school and made my life a living hell.

"Hi, what can I get you. " I ask in the same voice I use for everyone else, pretending that I don’t know them. I didn’t bother giving them my name since they have known it for years, yet choose to give me one they prefer.

"Well, I'll have something your bruised arms won't touch. " Annabelle orders.

I ignore them, trying to not let them get to me. I'm surprised, even with high school over they still can't get over their immature, high-school antics. In the real world, being prom king and queen won't make you any more special than the person next to you.

"I'll have smashed potatoes, just like your dad left your mother's face." David Anderson, the former quarterback, and Annabelle’s boyfriend orders. Even if the comment is as typical as it gets, it still makes my blood boil. I can't, I just can't handle when they talk about my mom like that. They don't understand what we went through. No one ever will.

"Don't talk about my mom ever again. You don't know what happened and have absolutely no right to attack anyone who is not here to defend themselves. SO MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!" I yell, not caring what they think of me because no one messes with my mom.

"What is going on here?! " My boss yells, coming to stand by the table.

Damn it.

I was about to answer when Annabelle interrupts me.

"We were just ordering when she started yelling. Did you check to see if she was stable enough to work here? "Annabelle explains, making a fool out of me.

Sam turns to look at me. I know she would choose the person bringing money to the restaurant. Plus, Annabelle was well known around the town for being the daughter and a very influential lawyer.

"I didn't do-"

"Leave." She doesn't let me finish. "But that's not-"

"Get out."

"Sam-"

"Get out before I get Kevin to make you." With no other choice, I go and grab my things but right before leaving, I see Annabelle and David looking as if they had achieved a great accomplishment. Then they turn and look at me.

With smugness written all over their faces, they smile and wave mockingly.

*****

I gather all of my things before getting out of the restaurant. I sigh, thinking of what I'm going to tell my mom about how I got fired, again. Even when my dad isn't here with us, his name, his actions will always haunt us.

If I tell her, she'll go and try to get herself another job. It'll be more pressure for her. She can't handle it. All she ever does is work.

I need time to think.

I decide to take a break before going home. I walk to the closest park by my house.

I sit on a bench, looking at the mothers watching their kids play and fathers teaching their sons how to play football.

What would it feel like to have a loving, big family?

But I don’t let myself ponder anymore over that thought. My mom said that now that I'm older, I can get the life I always deserved. I always correct her: the life that we always deserved.

I often think of what kind of mother I would be or most importantly, how would my husband treat me? Would I even get married? I know I’m young have have many more years to come before this even becomes irrelevant.

Letting out another sigh, I get up to walk home. I try not to cry. Crying will only show weakness which I never wish to show. I'm strong and I will continue being strong for the both of us.

******

I enter my home, well more like a 2 bedroom apartment with too many problems to fix. I drop my stuff and walk towards the kitchen. As I open my fridge, I scour for something to cook, probably not enough to cook a big meal but maybe just enough to allow us to survive.

******

"Lisa?" My mom yells as she enters the apartment.

"In the kitchen !" I yell back as I finish setting up the table for dinner.

"You’re early. " my mom comments as she walks into the kitchen. I'm scared to tell her why but it’s now or never.

I decide that maybe it's better if I tell her after we eat.

******

"What's wrong? " My mom notices instantly as she drops her spoon to speak. I really didn't want to worry her but I will try my best to do whatever it takes to make her happy, it’s what she deserves.

"I was fired. But I'm already looking for another job." I look down as I say this but then I quickly take a peek at her to gauge her reaction.

She looks more tired than ever, her eyes have lost their sparkle, those hazel eyes are almost lifeless. She looks twice her age. Her once shiny, healthy blonde hair is now dull. I look nothing like her yet at the same time I'm a spitting image of her.

My eyes are dull brown. The only thing that still looks alive is my hair which is long, as black as the night and curly. I don't look like my dad, he had brown hair and honey colored eyes, which I am utterly grateful for.

"It’s fine Lisa, you shouldn't even be working, you should be at school, making your dreams come true, but you’re here, working your butt off for nothing." My mom tries to make me feel better but it doesn’t work. Every single day reminds me of my dreams slipping away, like sand through the gaps of your fingers. This fear that one day I will be nothing but a lifeless person with no hope whatsoever. But then I remember there are some people in this world that have absolutely nothing.

I think of how our life would be if we were still living with that man. We would be nothing but puppets, living but dead, until it was time for us to leave this world.

"Look I can ask my boss if I could work more hours and-"

"NO! You will not work any more, I will find a job that can pay me more and then when we have enough, maybe I could go to college." I interrupt, I will not make her work any more than she already does and if the only thing left in my life is to make my mom happy so be it. I will bring and be her greatest joy in life.

I promise.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Hello guys so I would just like to thank y'all for giving my book a try. I hope you enjoy it. It's my first time writing and actually letting people see it. And this is my first book here on wattpad. So if you have any suggestions or comments regarding my book, feel free to leave comments but all I ask is that you please put it in the nicest way possible. Until next time.

-love, Lastinlove❤

1/5/19