✿

Harry was standing right in front of me, dressed in a black suit that accentuated his muscles perfectly. His hair was flipped off his forehead and his teeth looked liked they were just brightened. I found myself walking towards him, not sure what I was doing before. As I got closer, a man was standing beside him; David, also dressed in a nice suit. I walked up the couple steps to him before we were eye level.

"It was so nice for you to join, Niall," Harry purrs, his piercing stare burning my confidence. I would have replied but, I couldn't seem to get the words past my lips. I also couldn't get past his. At the moment, they seemed so alluring, like they were just calling my name. Which, in a weird way they were, like my name was being called in the distance.

I couldn't control myself anymore, I leaned in to him, puckering my lips, closing my eyes, the whole thing.

I felt a hand pushing my head away, his voice ringing in my ears. "What in the world are you doing? You're my best man." Harry laughs, uncomfortable, his eyes holding suspicion. I back away, confused, embarrassed, and as hot as a fire.

Best man?

There is music and gasp echoing around the room. It wasn't about my moment, it was about the woman walking inside the room. The woman in a white dress, walking down the alter.

No.

I feel so light headed I could faint. What in the world is happening?

I step back and close my eyes, choking as I see them stand together, holding hands. I can feel myself falling, my fingers going numb.

"Niall?"

"Niall!"

I jolt up, huffing and puffing as sweat trickles down my forehead. I look around, my eyes still blurry, seeing Harry's silhouette sitting on my bed, his hand on my thigh. It was just a dream- a wicked dream.

"Are you alright, Niall?" He says softly, squeezing my thigh gently. I could melt right now and I think I'd be okay with that. I nod my head slightly, sighing. That dream makes me feel funny. I have feelings for Harry and of course, it sucks if he were to leave me (not like we're dating or anything) but, I couldn't figure out why that dream affected me so much. Is it a sign? Or is my subconcious just trying to freak me out.

I can't keep things like this straight.

"Well if you're alright, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for coffee instead of making coffee here." As my vision goes to normal, I can clearly see he is ready to go out with or without me ready. A green sweater clings to him, black jeans, and a snapback holding his curls down. You could tell he was anxious.

"I'll go."

✿

Cars and pedestrians pass by the window quickly, almost making it seem like a blur of color. I sit at a table, rubbing my jacket sleeve between my fingers. I didn't order anything. I didn't like the thought of having other people and machines I don't know how long it's been since they've been cleaned make my coffee.

Harry has been fiddling with his sweater, hands, cup, table, hair, whatever he can get his hands on since we arrived. I had a feeling this wasn't a normal coffee trip.

"I have something to confess." He said, looking around the coffee shop as if to make sure no one is listening. "It's about my family. And it's also about you trusting me since I've done some crappy things to you in the past," he chuckles lowly before it disappears, "I thought this would help you, but, also me."

He is actually trusting me with this? The only thing I know about his family is his parents aren't around and his grandma has passed. How cruel this world can be.

"Why in the coffee, coffee shop?"

"Because this way I have a reason from stopping myself from having a mental breakdown. When I see other people around me, it's like I can block the pain for awhile 'till I'm alone." Harry's face is so bleak at the moment, I believe he has done this for years.

He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes for a minute. When he opens them, he stares at the table, like hes expecting it to do the talking for him.

"I once was in a relationship with a boy. I thought he was the love of my life but, I guess I wasn't the love of his life." It was only the beginning of the story and I was already slapped with sadness.

"The love of his life was a recent cocaine addict and I just... I couldn't stand the thought he'd choose a criminal over me. It tore me from the inside; tore me up so much I did some digging and bought a bag of cocaine. While the addict was spending time with my boyfriend I planted the bag in his room, calling the cops afterwards." Harry's hand was tapping on the table.

In front of me was an angry boy. An angry boy that went to the extreme for what he thought he loved. That took a tug at my heart. It also made me a bit weary of his mental health but, that was something to discuss later.

"He -of course- was sentenced to jail time. I was guilty of what I had done and seeing my boyfriends face when he came home after he found out lover boy got arrested, made my stomach drop and I knew I could never look at myself or him again." He sits back in his chair, looking out the window before continuing, "I broke up with him after that. That's one reason why Sherlock had bugged me so much. I thought somebody else would do that so I wasn't the only one but, it turns out you and Sherlock have golden hearts."

I remember that day clearly. He wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night after I said I would've saved Mary instead of myself. This is a lot to take in. It's getting to be too much at this point.

"I was so pissed at myself, I finally told my mother what happened. Dissapoint and anger was the last thing I saw on her face. She threw a fit and she forced me to get into the car with her to go to the police station to confess. I argued with her the whole ride- god why did I do that?" His voice cracks and I can almost see him mentally take a step back to regain himself. "I knew I was wrong- I just- I knew it. She was so distressed by the conversation she ran a red light, a truck crashing into the drivers side, killing her instantly." He stops and holds his breath. He jumps out of his seat, walking straight out the door and into the street.

I decided to stay and process my thoughts. I think he was going to come back, anyway. I didn't want to leave and just have him come back to the shop and see I'm gone. At least this way he'll know where I am.

I thought long and hard about what he said in those minutes. I mean, that's the hardest thing to get through. And to see her pass before your eyes and the last thing you said to her was over an argument? I could never do that. I can't even fathom the thought of that happening to my mother. I can't even put it into words about how I feel right now.

I sit in silence until he comes back. It's a good ten minutes before he does, too. Nothing has changed, except his aura. He seems colder, physically and mentally.

"From the crash I got scars mostly on my side and on my chest. Why do I think I never change my shirt in front of you?" He swallows harshly, lifting up his sweater to expose a deep white line that extends from his hip bone and up under his sweater. He shuffles and straightens his sweater again. "Shortly after that my father couldn't take the pressure and overdosed. Now, I'm going back to the hotel. Don't talk to me and don't touch me for the rest of night." He stands, his chair screeching loudly. He flees from the shop, the bell on top of the door not even being able to ring before he's gone.

✿

I get back to the hotel, slowly and quietly walking in. I feel like I'm walking on glass at this point. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to act around him now.

It's completely dark. Completely serene. It's kind of scaring me, actually. I'd expect to come back to a mess, him lying on the floor with bottles surrounding him. There's nothing.

I walk into the bedrooms to see a figure sitting at the window. I walk over to him and see his eyes closed and tranquil breaths falling from his open lips. I grab a blanket and cover him with it, softly kissing his forehead. His cheeks turn a nice rosy color, making me believe he wasn't asleep.

I fall asleep with a heavy smile.

✿

a.n.

2 more chapters.