//so sorry I've been gone ages, hope the length of this makes up for it. this isn't proof read so I hope it's not too much of a state. if you spot a typo feel free to point it out and mock me thoroughly for saying something like breast instead of best. it happens to the best of us. and yes, that typo has actually happened to me before in a critical essay for advanced English. why am I like this//

There was a lot of things I wasn't. I wasn't what people of today would class as normal, I wasn't by any means a smooth talker, I wasn't exactly approachable, I wasn't great when it came to sports. I wasn't good at anything other than sleeping (I could confidently say I excelled at that activity.) The list could go on. The list of what I was, however, was considerably shorter, but there was one of which I was certain. I knew for a fact that I was most definitely a Parker Heywood repellent.

Things had gone from bad to worse. It had been awkward and slightly uncomfortable after we'd had our... Moment of sorts at his house, but things had changed since then. Drastically. One day it was as though Parker had decided to fall back into his old ways. As in the before-he-knew-me type of way. He no longer picked me up for school or dropped me off. He stuck to his friends' sides like glue, some times even Jason's if I was in the vicinity and nobody else was there for him to latch onto. He didn't say hello in the corridors. For crying out loud, the boy didn't even look my way. At first I thought it was just him being weird, that it was something he'd quickly overcome and that he'd return in time because he'd changed. I knew he had. He wasn't the player I'd originally thought him to be. Yet after a month of his behaviour, dare I say it, I'd lost hope.

I couldn't help but think of it as my fault. Wasn't it too much of a coincidence that just as I'd admitted I liked him he fled? Or had this been the goal all along? Making the freak fall for someone? Call me paranoid, but for his abrupt change in behaviour to happen so closely to my admission... Well, I just couldn't believe it was a fluke.

As I lay on the couch, cocooned in a thick, woollen blanket, I couldn't help but miss him. I hated those girls in films and novels. The ones that moped over lost loves and whatnot. They were always so whiny and depressed. I'd vowed to myself that if by some miracle I was ever in any form of relationship, I'd never stoop to that level. Alas, there I was. Very much below that level. If I said that there hadn't been tears staining my face on multiple occasions then I'd be lying.

It was as if nothing that had happened between us. As though all of those months spent together hadn't mattered to him. I knew that it wasn't as big a deal for him - the whole being able to touch fiasco - as it was for me, but still. Without him, not only did my life lack any excitement, amusement and tedious pick-lines, but I was also left spiralling downhill. I couldn't touch. I missed his warm hands, his hazel eyes. The way I craved his company was embarrassing and, quite honestly, extremely pathetic. I could scarcely stand the fact that he was acting as though I didn't exist. Like we hadn't known one another. I felt like the stupid sock that you dropped on your way to the drier, lost and forgotten.

I threw a plum stone at the television when an advertisement popped up for perfume that featured a loved up couple showing off the scent. Continuously reminding myself that Parker and I hadn't actually been together was surprisingly difficult. His absence also seemed to make any other people's happiness quite literally unbearable to watch.

"Hello."

The voice startled me and I spun around too fast, toppling over the edge of the couch before landing in a heap with my limbs tangled in blanket. "Why hello intruder, what are you doing here?"

Axel frowned in distaste at something over my shoulder. "I see you've been eating plums."

I followed his line of vision to find the pile of plum stones that had collected on the rug below the television. "I disagree with things on TV."

"But it was just a perfume ad..." He trailed off, bemused. "Never mind. I'm here as your knight in shining armour. Well, actually I'm here to try and recruit you to join the league of knights in shining armour to save another fellow knight."

I tried to make sense of his words as I lay sprawled over the floor, staring up at him. "Can I have that again in English?"

"I'm here to drag you out of your pit of despair and aid you on the mission to retrieve the lost Parker."

I was about to reply when a body hurtled through my open living room window. I scrambled to my feet and proceeded to whack the intruder with the first thing I could grab. After a couple of lamp whacks, the second intruder rolled onto their back and cried for mercy.

Axel helped Topher stand whilst I glared at the pair, the concept of entering through a door apparently lost with them.

"You have to start knocking or else I'm going to have a heart attack and die. Do you honestly want to have to deal with my corpse? Where would you even hide it?" I picked up my blanket which had fallen in the struggle and draped it around my shoulders so it would act as an extremely fashionable cape.

"Probably my basement, but no, I don't want a corpse on my hands. I'm already having to deal with Parker and he's dead enough as it is. You didn't have to try and bludgeon me to death with a fucking lamp, though." Topher pouted as he folded his arms.

"That was self defence." I replied indignantly. "Now what are yo-"

"Guys!" Matthew skidded to a halt at the doorway of my living room, face pink and blond hair plastered to his shining temples. God knows how he entered. "You said you'd wait! You better not have told her the plan without me."

"Yes, come join the party. Of course I invited you all to my humble abode," I collapsed back onto the couch and burrowed my face into my blanket in defeat. "I'm honestly starting to feel like Shrek when everybody started invading his swamp."

"Now, now." Axel said calmly. "We're all friends here."

I took my head out of the comforting softness of my blanket. In all honestly, I hadn't been sure if we were friends or not during my time spent with Parker. Sure, they'd forced their company on me somewhat, but did that count as friendship? I guess I did enjoy their company from time to time, but if we had been friends then they'd acted just as badly as Parker had during his month of silence. The month which was still ongoing and would continue for heaven knows how much longer. Perhaps indefinitely. I hadn't spoken to any of them until now.

"So why have you been ignoring me for so long? Real friends give each other a reason if they're about to go AWOL." I refrained from specifically mentioning Parker though it was proving to take a great deal of effort.

What had Topher meant when he had said Parker was already dead enough? Was he alright? I hated myself for still caring. He was like a small arrow to the heart. I just couldnt bring myself to pull it out because it'd be too painful and I'd grown too fond of it being there.

"We don't really know what's going on with Parker." Axel confessed.

"Which is why we're here. We need you to talk to him." Topher grimaced. "He won't tell us what's wrong with him but we've all come to the agreement that it revolves around you."

I snorted. "You want me to talk to him? I don't know if you've noticed but he's been avoiding me like I've contracted the world's most deadly disease for an entire thirty days." I froze before hastily adding, "I think it's thirty. Or thirty-one. Maybe twenty-nine, actually. I haven't been counting so..."

Topher rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Just talk to him. Christ, the guy would probably still adore you with your hands around his neck."

"I highly doubt that because personally I rather treasure my esophagus. Even if it was true, it doesn't explain him ignoring me."

"He'll probably have a reason. Even if he doesn't, remember that love is like a river. If it's about to reach an obstacle, it can split and make a new path to try and continue the course it was heading toward in the first place." Matthew nodded with smile but once he realised how we were looking at him his cheeks which had just faded back to their normal, milky pallor after his rush here flamed up again. "At least that's what Tony on The Bachelor says."

"They haven't used the L word yet, stupid." Axel whispered loudly, digging his elbow into Matthew's ribs.

Matthew retaliated with a scowl and a slap. A real life slap. It even made a smacking sound as it connected with Axel's face. Neither Topher nor Axel seemed surprised with the retaliation. Topher rolled his eyes and Axel got Matthew in a headlock, ruffling his already tousled blond hair. I hoped that it was a friendly gesture and it wasn't going to be Matthew's corpse we had to deal with.

"So you want me to just speak to him? Anything in particular? A favoured greeting? How about howdy? Hola? Bonjour? Merhaba? Hel-"

"We think he might be paranoid about hanging out with you having changed him but we're not sure. We don't give a shit if he's changed since you came along, he's still a laugh, just a little less party-crazy. He'll always be our mate. We just get worried about what people will think, you know? Like, the last thing we need is that motherfucker Ian to hear that he has a targetable weakness. That weakness being you."

I frowned, baffled. "Who's Ian?"

Topher cocked his head to the side and opened his mouth as if about to explain when Axel was suddenly tugging him away. "Just talk to him, Flora. Yeah?"

"I-"

"Remember that love is like a river!" Matthew yelled just before the door slammed shut behind the trio.

I sat in the same spot for a while, unmoving, trying to digest the event that had just taken place. When I came to the conclusion that it was too late in the evening to do anything about Parker at that moment and that I'd never understand his friends, I laid my head down and decided to have a nap.

I guess you could add another thing to the list of what I was: a professional procrastinator.

Just as I was nodding off, a buzz caused me to jolt upright. I fumbled over my phone in search of the silence button but stopped when the notification displayed on my screen caught my eye. A text message from an unknown number.

I glanced around nervously as though the walls would whisper the identity of the stranger to me. They didn't, of course. I was alone with my thoroughly freaked out thoughts seeing as my mother was busy at work.

My fingers hovered hesitantly over the phone's keyboard. I knew that replying wasn't the thing to do seeing as somebody was obviously messing with me. The very same somebody that had sent me those text messages after I'd gone to Parker's party. I knew that I'd probably end up being laughed at when the culprit revealed themself after whatever joke they intended to carry out, yet I couldn't help but play along. I wanted to know who it was. I needed to find out how on earth they'd known the name Ian had popped up in conversation. Were they listening? Was the stranger here right now? The thought caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end and I hastily dismissed it. Nobody was watching me. It was called paranoia and I had a severe case of it.

I'd like you to tell me who you are. I typed, and after a moment of indecision added,

The stranger replied within seconds. I'm surprised this supposed boyfriend of yours didn't tell you who he was, Frigid Flo. Afterall, he is his boss.

I laughed at that. I'd give ten out of ten for the creepy-mysterious act, but this person was either severely misinformed or just trying to stir things. Parker didn't work. If he did, he'd have mentioned and I'd surely have noticed. He had far too much time on his hands for partying and following me about to have a job. Unless it had been within the past month... But I doubted it.

Technically, Parker's not my boyfriend. And he doesn't work.

You sure?

Positive. I ran a hand through my hair, confused as to why I was still bothering to play the stranger's game.

It took a few minutes for the unknown number to reply this time, but when they returned, it was with photographic evidence. Images that made my stomach sink and churn. Images of Parker with a few guys handing something over, the guys he was with wearing hungry grins. One picture was a zoom in on the hands during the exchange, one set holding a wad of rolled up bills, the other, more familiar pair, holding a small plastic pouch filled with white powder.

I rubbed at my eyes and blinked rapidly before examining the pictures again. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to. Parker was a drug dealer? I thought back to the time when I'd asked him if he was a drug lord, the question being half joking and half serious, to which he'd responded with a blatant refusal. He was a liar. He'd lied. He'd lied to me. To my face. About drugs.

Ian is his boss. Seems like lover boy wasn't so truthful. You should probably leave him. He can't be trusted.

I was confused, hurt and numb with shock. What the heck was the protocol for these situations? Most of all, what on earth were the intentions of this prankster? If those images turned out to be photoshopped then their idea of a joke was downright terrible. I typed.

What I've wanted since the second I laid eyes on you.

I was starting to feel extremely uneasy and decided that it was best to begin ignoring whoever the person was. It was clear that I needed to talk to Parker now more than I ever had. He could continue ignoring me if that was the way he wanted to play it, but he could do that after I got my answers.

I balanced my phone between my shoulder and ear as I began lacing up my sneakers. It was late in the evening, but like hell was I going to sit waiting until morning to confront him about this. I mean, I knew he'd taken drugs before, it was obvious that all of his friends had too. It wasn't exactly a secret what with the whole Hayden thing... But dealing them? That was another story. What else had he lied about? Had our time together really meant so little to him that he easily lied the whole way through and could begin ignoring me as though we'd never known one another at the drop of a hat?

Axel picked up once I'd reached my door. "What's cookin' good lookin'?"

"Where's Parker?" I snapped.

"I'm actually very excited that you asked because that means you're rescuing him from his depressing preteen behaviour," He seemed oblivious to my mood even though I'm sure it showed through my voice. He was too excited by the fact that I was taking his advice to talk to Parker so soon. "Do you know how many times I've had to listen to System of a Down's Lonely Day? Or Green Day's Wake Me Up When September Ends? Or Radiohead's Creep? And he puts it on full blast, too. Acts as if he owns my house. He's so whiny when he can't talk to you. Thank god you're going to speak to him because I can't stand-"

"Axel, just tell me where the fuck Parker is." I interrupted.

There was a pause on the end of the line and muffled shouting in the background. "I don't appreciate your tone."

"Spit it out."

"She must be PMSing," It sounded like Topher in the background. "That explains the plum stones."

"Am I on speaker?" I asked.

"Yeah. You're being moody and I don't know what to do with you."

"How's about you tell me where Parker is?" I huffed, wrapping an arm around myself to preserve the last of my body heat as I left my house. "I need to speak with him. Now."

"As much as I wanted that to happen, it sounds like you want to kill him. I'll have to decline if that's the case. The purpose of this was to save him. I guess if he continues to play that music tomorrow I'll ring you up." The boys were laughing.

I sighed. "I need to speak to him about Ian. About the fact that I've been hanging out with a drug dealer."

Silence came from the other end. Silence so quiet that you'd be able to hear a pin drop. It was all of the confirmation I needed. The stranger, whoever they were, apparently knew Parker a lot better than I did.

"Who told y-"

"Where is he?"

"He should be at his house. At least that's what he's told us, but he might be out drinking. He's really fucking moody these days. Flora, who tol-"

"Thanks." I replied, unable to hide the frosty edge to my tone.

"Hang on, listen-"

I hung up before I could listen to any form of explanation. Listening to his friends blabbering on and bombarding me with excuses and false truths would help nothing. I didn't need more lies, I just needed answers and I needed them from Parker.

I didn't take the car. I had my fingers crossed that my mum would assume I was holed away in my room like I had been for the past month and wouldn't check to see if I was in. A missing car would be a large giveaway.

When I finally reached Parker's house, windswept and anxious, I hammered my fist against his door. It only came as a slight surprise that his mother answered. Even when her scrutinising gaze looked me up and down, I couldn't find it in myself to give a damn. I was there on an important mission and frankly, she was the least of my problems.

"You... Again." She looked baffled, even more so than when I last saw her. Was it really so shocking that Parker had a permanent person in his life other than his few boisterous friends? Was this just because I was female? Did her son honestly never keep it in his pants?

"Me again." I sighed. "Can I come in?"

She stared at me through eyes like slits, trying to gauge my mood I suspected. The dark rings that encircled them seemed more profound than I'd remembered next to her sickly-looking skin. Like smears of charcoal. "Yes..."

"Where's Parker?" I demanded once she closed the door behind me.

"He's in his room," She hesitated. "Has he done something to upset you?"

I tried to word myself carefully. Having made such a big fuss about Parker having changed, pride was getting in my way when it came to admitting what I'd believed in had been wrong. "Something of the sort."

"Something of the sort?" She echoed, blonde eyebrows flying up past her hairline.

I brushed past her to get to the staircase. "It doesn't matter. I just need to speak with him so if you'll excuse me..."

Parker's mother said nothing as I mounted the steps. Or perhaps she had but my brain didn't process it because my attention had been diverted, focused on the familiar voice I hadn't heard in what felt like years drifting from down the hallway. It was snappish, agitated. More so than I was used to hearing it.

"What do you mean she's coming here?" There was a pause before he all but yelled, "Well I can't talk to her!" Another pause. Then, in an eerily quiet voice that made it obvious he was seconds away from exploding, asked, "How the fuck does she know about Ian?"

It took a few moments for it to click within my brain that one, he was talking to someone on the phone, and two, the girl he was referring to was me.