Chapter 341

Return Home (I)

Cain ‘stood’ suspended in the air, silent and aghast, his eyes recording what he was seeing, but his mind having trouble processing it all. By the time the last of the stragglers were dead, he awoke--scanning the horror show beneath him, he looked at the ghastly four figures covered in blood, their weapons all dyed crimson red. The dirt beneath switched its light brown hue to a much darker one, having soaked gallons upon gallons of fresh blood.

Even Te’gha and the newly joined Domin had their lips sewn shut. Gulping, Cain descended while the four worked to clean up the battlefield. However, as soon as they saw him, they immediately bolted over and fell to their knees, the look in their eyes... strange.

“... what the hell happened?” he asked, his voice low.

“You weren’t supposed to see it,” Quinn replied with a sigh. “But we weren’t quick enough, I suppose. Your voice, it came through,” she added before Cain could respond. “And with it... came a distinct feeling, one that you never forget it. It was like a surge of foreign will through our veins... and it was telling us to kneel. The signature was unmistakable--it was the will of the Divine, since nothing I did could resist it. Others felt it too. And even if some didn’t seem to understand, most did.”

“Alright, that’s cool,” he said. “But why the fuck did you have to kill everyone?! Are you out of your mind?!!”

“Because Divines aren’t just born in the middle of nowhere, Cain,” Quinn stood up and faced him, seemingly shielding the other three. “There are specific procedures, requirements, rituals, and vows--hundreds of years worth of preparations for that singular moment. It is permanently etched in stone, the birth of a Divine. And it always, always, always happens within the Divine Halls. Not... here. Or anywhere else.”

“...”

“I can’t claim I know the circumstances behind what happened to you,” she continued. “But they are certainly extraordinary. And not in line with what is expected. If the word had gotten out--and it would have gotten out, make no mistake--you would have immediately been hunted down and slaughtered, alongside everyone even remotely close to you.”

“And so you killed them?”

“And so I killed them,” she said, seemingly taking the full responsibility for it.

“... Jesus Christ, Quinn,” Cain sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose, his chest heavy. “Do you know me at all?”

“It’s because I do know you that I did this,” she said. “I know you would have never done it, and would have let them go.”

“... this is demented,” he said, taking out a whole bottle of scotch. “Fuckin’ demented. Fucking Christ. Look at this shit. Look at it. It’s... it’s like a fucking war crime,” he prattled on in-between the drinks. “Fuck. I now have to carry this shit. Fuck.”

“No, not you. It wasn’t you--”

“But it fucking is!” he interrupted. “Spin it however you want, and shoulder however much shit you want, the bottom line is--you did it ‘cause of me. And fuck that. And fuck you, while we’re at it. Jesus. I’ve done some demented shit myself, but this is... goddamn,” Cain took a deep breath and sat down on a nearby boulder, his eyes scanning the landscape that had turned into a mass grave. “They did nothing wrong, Quinn. You executed them for the crimes they didn’t even commit. You’re fucking ancient, already, so you should know better than to abide by the ‘they can’t commit crimes if they’re fucking dead’ philosophy.”

“...” Quinn, as well as three others, remained silent.

“Jesus...” he mumbled, taking another sip.

“You won’t want to hear it,” she said. “But these things... sometimes need to be done.”

“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t want to hear it. Nothing ever needs to be done besides dying a natural death when you’re old and decrepit and shitting your pants religiously. Everything else is a fucking choice. And you made a choice, on my behalf, that you had no right to make. This isn’t a war drama, Quinn, and these weren’t enemy soldiers or usurpers or rebels. They were just shit-stuck in the same bad situation like us and, unlike most who continued spying from far away, they came to our aid and put their lives on the line for us. And what’s their reward? Permanent farewell. Not even at the hands of the fucking boss, which, shitty though it may have felt, at least would have made some resemblance of sense. Say what you mentioned is true--how many among them would have reported it? Five? Ten maybe?”

“It’s more than enough--”

“Choices are like a long desert,” Cain interrupted. “As we walk through the desert, at some point, we have to draw the line in the sand, Quinn. At some point, we have to say ‘yeah, I ain’t doin’ this shit’. Do you even know how to draw that line? And you,” he looked at Lear. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

“...” Lear lowered his head, turning silent.

“It was my call,” Quinn quickly called out.

“... clean it up,” Cain said, drinking the last of the scotch. “Give them all proper burials and sendoffs. I have remembered all of their names and faces, Quinn,” he added. “When this--whatever the fuck it is--is all over, you--no, all of us will have many amends to make. Starting with these ones.”

“...”

The four began to work silently, cleaning up the wretched horror show. In the meantime, Cain popped open another bottle and was downing it. Te’gha sat in his lap, purring lowly and kneading his tiny paws against Cain’s thigh, occasionally heading his stomach. Domin, on the other hand, clearly fought the urge to talk. Cain had already figured out the thing’s personality--it was a chatterbox. Te’gha didn’t speak too much, but when he did, it was always in a supremely arrogant tone. Domin, on the other hand, looked like he both spoke in a supremely arrogant tone... but also spoke a lot.

“You look like you’ll literally implode if you don’t start speaking,” Cain said with a sigh. “So, speak. What’s on your mind, little one?”

“Uh... you... you won’t kill me?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“...”

“It’s a joke. I won’t kill you.”

“They... they did the right thing...”

“I’ve changed my mind,” Cain said. “I’ll kill you.”

“Hick!”

“I’m kidding,” Cain chuckled at the little one’s reaction. “You’re both right and wrong, I suppose. Say there is a very evil man in a building. He’s killed dozens before and he will kill dozens more. Besides him, however, there are ten innocent people who’ve done nothing wrong. The only way to kill the evil man is to destroy the building. You’d both be right and wrong to destroy it, just depending on your perspective of things.”

“...”

“That’s what I hate about the world, you know? Things used to be so much simpler back when I was a kid,” he chuckled, taking another sip. “Everything was... so black and white. Right and wrong. There was a clear distinction. There were no nuances, no gray morality. Every choice I made, everything I did... was never both right and wrong, just either one. Nowadays, it feels, even if I did something good, or feel like I did something good... I somehow, one way or another, managed to harm someone else. And then... and then, on the rare occasions, you get situations like these.”

“...”

“I get them, you know?” Cain chuckled. “I may have acted morally upright just then... but, somewhere deep down in my soul, I am thankful. Because I know I wouldn’t have had the balls to make that call. I would have let them go. And, without a doubt, it would have come back to bite me in the ass. But, at the same time, I can’t concede to this type of reality. I don’t want to. I don’t want this to be my new normal, a new world that I live in persistently. God, it’s all just so... so many layers of fucked up,” he sighed, chucking more alcohol. Unfortunately, it did little, since his body instinctively cleansed it. At this point, he drank mostly out of habit and for the taste.

“Stupid human, you burden yourself too much,” Te’gha said. “You were never a good person, stupid. Your job is to go higher and higher. Let others deal with what you leave in your wake. Things done in your name are not the things you have done, stupid human. Never have been and never will be.”

“Hey, would you look at that,” Cain said. “Te said something somewhat clever. It’s really raining cats and dogs today, huh?”

“Huh?!! What do you mean, stupid human?! Every word great Te’gha speaks is one of greatness and wisdom you simply cannot fathom! Humph! You are lucky I am in a good mood, otherwise great Te’gha would have clawed your eyes out!”

“Would be tough to live without my eyes, so thank you.”

“Humph, great Te’gha is being merciful, is all!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Cain nodded, gently petting the cat on his lap. “I’m very grateful for your mercy. I just wish... universe in general was as merciful. Won’t happen, I guess. God, I sound like one of those hyper-positive, see-the-best-in-everything assholes that never admit that the world is just fucked up and that the people are selfish assholes. Haaah... whatever. I’m old, now. I get to be whoever the hell I wanna be. Perks of growing old, I guess. Perks of growing old...”