“What are you doing?” asked Leina.

Jake didn’t answer, he was staring at his computer.

“You ok, dear?” she asked.

He flitted back into the real world for a second. “Yes, sorry. Just seeing if Lapine Death Corps is working.”

“Oh, I see. But I thought it was broken?” asked Jaska.

“It was earlier, but now that we know the power is still working in Crawk, maybe it will be up and running again.” Jake put his hands together as if he was praying.

It worked. The words appeared on his screen, and he was in.

“It was just the Galactic server going down!” he exclaimed. Jaska looked lost, she didn’t understand computers. “There is no power where I live, and where ‘Arry’s ship will be powered from. You know, because they have destroyed the White Palace. So it was the server we access it through that was offline, not Lapine Death Corps.”

“Ohhh…” understood Jaska. “So now that we know Niall can’t fix the ship, what are we going to do?”

It was a good question, and a decision that Jake knew he couldn’t make alone. It would pretty much decide the fate of the universe.

At midnight, Jake and Jaska emerged from the stationary cupboard. They had had to hide somewhere, and everybody knew that Jake always left work early. He was one of those bosses. Turns up late, leaves early, does no work and ignores everyone. So, a good boss if you’re trying to get away with the same thing.

The stationary cupboard wasn’t the greatest choice however, and Jake was glad when they could get out. It was small and pokey. Jaska wasn’t small, but was pokey. The staplers and rulers jamming into Jake’s back were also quite pokey, but he had to keep pressed into them as Jaska was getting quite frisky. He may have got accidentally married, but Jake wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy yet, and especially not in a stationary cupboard.

At the tenth time of asking “Can we get out yet?” Jaska finally gave in.

“I suppose so Jakey. Are you sure that everyone will have gone home from work though?”

“Yes. It’s eleven o clock at night!” he replied, frustrated. Jake had was always a bit tetchy, and was especially fraught after being stuck in a tight cupboard for six hours. They emerged from the stationary cupboard and Jake gasped for air as the motion sensor lights switched back on. He shut the door behind him, removed the Post-It note with Jakey gonna get some! scrawled on it, screwed it up and threw it on the floor.

“Actually,” came a familiar voice from the other side of the room, “not everyone has gone home.”

“I told you!” insisted Jaska.

“Leina…” sighed Jake.

Leina, and more importantly Leina’s outstretched laser gun, came into focus as she stepped out of the shadowy corridor and the lights flickered on around her.

“So, who wants to die first?” she asked, stepping towards them, slowly and with purpose. “Will it be Jake, cheating scumbag, repeated traitor and scourge of the whole universe. Or will it be Jaska, repeated harlot and Jake’s little slut?”

Her cheeks wobbled furiously with the venom put into that final word.

“You don’t need to do this, Leina,” he said.

“Jake, it should be Jake,” said Jaska.

“What?” he hissed.

“Awwww… the picture of true love you are,” laughed Leina.

“No-one needs to die Leina. Or Jaska,” he added hurriedly.

“I know,” said Jaska, “but if we do, I don’t want to miss the hilarity of you dying first.”

Jake shook his head with exasperation. This wasn’t the time for Crawkling humour.

“Please Leina, don’t do this. It’s clear you don’t like it here in Crawk. You can change it all. I can offer you a great life back in Schmingleton. There’s a great house just down the road from me. The back garden is a mud pit, it backs onto the quarry and the roof leaks quite a lot so that even while you are sleeping you can get that murky, slippy feeling.”

“Jakey, you said we could buy that one..” said Jaska.

“Shut up!” he whispered, harshly, under his breath.

“That sounds great,” said Leina, “but I can just kill you and fly there myself. Simple.”

“But it wouldn’t be the same, would it Leina? We can live there, together. I’ll still help you escape, like I promised. I had to take Jaska last time. She discovered my plans and was going to turn me in. This time it’ll be just us. We can make that new beginning you have wanted for so long, away from Crawk. You can have everything that you have ever wanted.”

“Jakey…” whispered Jaska, as Jake walked away from her, without even a backwards glance.

Jake could see Leina pausing for thought, and continued to walk towards her. In the corner of his eye he spotted movement.

Leina saw his flicker of attention and turned to her left, just in time to see ‘Arry and his army of Jake lookalikes rush into the room.

“Stay away from him!” shouted ‘Arry. He reacted instantly when he saw the gun Leina was holding. ‘Arry fired a single shot which pierced Leina right in the forehead, and she collapsed in a heap.

As she crumpled to the floor, she fired her laser wildly.

The roof caved in above Jake and he was quickly buried in the debris of bricks and desks from the room above.