“You are lucky you did not burn your own mana with that spell.”

It was Lilith talking to me with an agitated yet upset tone, sitting on my bedside. She had both her hands on her lap, looking directly into my eyes. I could tell from the way she thought that she was mad at the fact that I fainted once again.

“How long has it been?” I asked Lilith as I straightened myself up in the bed. When I completely sit up, the pain in my mana heart spread to my entire body: This type of exhaustion was almost the same as when I went into a three month long coma. It was not my muscles that hurt, but it was the path of my mana that fed my body.

Lilith gave me an angry glance. She was as daunting as a wild beast, ready to capture her prey. I deduced that it was the nonchalant tone of my question that angered her.

“How long do you think?”

“I would not be asking if I had a clue.” I said jokingly. My efforts to cheer her up however, was met with failure. She was like a castle wall that was impossible to penetrate.

“Two days.” I sensed a tone of relief in her voice.

“Well, that is good. At least it is not three months now. Haha.”

This time my efforts worked a little. She was trying to hide her laughter under her mask – she probably wanted to keep berating me for not being careful.

“This is not a joking matter. You could have died if you lost control. I do not know what you did exactly, but the elves told me that you burned mana. It is not an easy feat to achieve, and it is a much more difficult one to control. You should not do something like that without practice.”

“Sorry. I could not think of anything else. We were outnumbered and I would rather fall into coma than to lose. I promise I will be more careful next time.”

With her eyes pinned mine as I made a promise, she was satisfied with my words.

“We cannot lose you.” Lilith declared emotionally and followed it with quietly whispering something under her breath, which sounded like ‘I cannot lose you.”

“You will not.” I tried to look as trustworthy as I can, not breaking eye contact. After all, I did not plan to die anytime soon either.

Lilith was relieved at least a little. Relieved enough to direct a question at me.

“What do you plan to do with the annexed village – you know, the one that caused all of this.”

Difficult decisions have to made at times like these. It was not only that these goblins tricked and tried to kill us, but then organized an ambush by joining forces with other goblins. They were hypocritical savages with no intention of keeping peace. If they want war, I will bring them war. They declared it, I will end it. I have no intention to accept any of them into Harren.

“Plunder it and kill everyone.”

Even the words felt so cold coming out my mouth that my teeth froze a little. Killing all the innocent bystanders in that village was not what I wanted to do, but should I have risked getting my own people die in the hands of these savages again? By a cruel ambush? This forest and everything in it will be mine. I cannot let something like this happen for a third time. I let them live because I thought of them as civilians and look where that brought me. I am not an individual now, but a leader. I have to make decisions to minimize the damage to my own people, even if that makes me a cruel monster for others.

I let my thoughts run for a while before opening my mouth again. Lilith was as quiet as night.

“We have no other choice. No one can guarantee their innocence, and we have more than enough evidence to disprove it.”

“I understand. I support your decision by all means.”

I swallowed the impending guilt of killing hundreds of civilian goblins for the sake of my own people.

“Where are the spoils of war?”

“In the arsenal, along with other weapons and armors.”

“Tell the soldiers to ready themselves – I want 800 men. Do not take many wolves this time. They gave many losses and I want them to increase their population. Take wargs.”

“You should rest.”

“Why did it feel more like a command than a suggestion?”

“You need to rest – you just recovered from mana exhaustion.”

“I will not need to use my mana again with 800 men, believe me.”

“…”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For everything, Lilith.”

“It is my duty.”