Thea

“Please, take your time, doctor,” Bryce said. “We’re in a hurry, but not so pressed for time that it’s worth you potentially getting killed to save a few minutes.”

“It’s quite alright.” Doctor Phaylex looked a bit wobbly as she stood. “You’ll find that I’m rather difficult to kill. I’m sorry, I don’t believe I know your names.”

“I’m Captain Virra and this is my partner, Thea."

“Hey.” I waved, and the doctor smiled as she waved back.

“An elf and a devil, that's a very unique combination and there is no doubt an interesting story behind how the two of you met. I would love to hear it sometime."

Bryce smiled. “Interesting is one way to describe it. I’ll be happy to tell you all about it once we’re safely off this ship.”

“That seems more than fair.” The doctor bent down to pick the half-orc’s pistol up off the ground and holstered it at her hip.

“You know how to use that thing?” I asked.

“Apparently it’s my favorite. The trigger is a bit finicky and it’ll jam if not cleaned nightly, but it was a gift from…” the doctor trailed off with a sad look in her eyes. “I’m sorry, my emotions are a bit volatile this early into the acclimation. It will take me some time to separate the vessel’s former identity from any useful skills or memories. The process is extremely unpleasant.”

“That must be why you’ve been researching advanced dolls,” Bryce said.

“How do you know about that?” Lorelei asked. I had nearly forgotten about the elf.

“Lorelei,” the doctor chided. “If they knew about our secret research base, then it’s only reasonable that they would also know about our secret research.”

“Well, when you say it like that, I suppose it makes sense. But we still don’t know how or why they know anything about us.”

“That is one of many things we’ll need to discuss when we’re safe,” the doctor said. “But for now, we have other priorities.” She turned to Bryce. “It seems reasonable to assume that the incident with the navigator’s core was your doing, is that correct?”

“That’s right. We needed to disrupt the navigator’s control over the ship, and it doubled as a distraction to get into the cargo-bay.” I got the feeling Bryce wasn’t planning on telling her it was mostly an accident. She was probably trying to play up her capabilities in order to impress our new friends.

I would have teased her about it if she was doing it purely out of ego, but I didn’t think that was the reason. We needed Doctor Phaylex to get Esme back, and we needed her to help willingly. Which probably meant the more competent we looked, the better. Of course, that didn’t mean I couldn’t tease her about it later when we were alone.

“Your plan seems to have worked rather well,” the doctor said. “The explosion killed four people outright and destroyed the navigator’s core, leaving the navigator himself in a catatonic state. There are several people still unaccounted for, but it is unclear if they are injured and unable to respond or hiding to avoid work.”

“How do you know all of that?” I asked. The explosion had obviously been pretty big, but the doctor was just a tiny worm in a jar when it happened.

“My vessel’s implants reactivated when I took control, and I’ve been reading through the crew’s conversations,” the doctor explained. “The three you found here were hiding from their captain and enjoying a bottle of rum while they were supposed to be searching for injured personnel. It appears that sort of behavior has been a pattern aboard the ship for some time.”

“If that’s true, then we need to move while they’re still disorganized,” Bryce said. “Come on, the comms center is this way.”

Bryce led us through about a million twists and turns until we arrived at a closed door. Somebody was obviously upset on the other side. We could hear frustrated shouting that was peppered by very colorful cursing.

“Doctor, Lorelei, you two stand back and let us handle this.” Bryce summoned her fancy sword. “Ready, Thea?”

“Yep!” I channeled heat into my fists, causing them to glow with power. “Want me to get the door?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.” Bryce smiled cutely. “For old time’s sake.”

“Well, I am a hopeless romantic.” I kicked the door, causing it to launch into the room and embed itself in the far wall. “After you, princess.”

Bryce did a graceful curtsey before stepping into the room. I followed and was met by a very angry-looking man. He had nearly black hair and a well-groomed beard that emphasized the scars criss-crossing his face.

“Who are you, and how in the hells did you get on my ship?” He asked. “I sure as fuck didn’t hire you.”

“Are you the captain?” Bryce asked.

“I am,” He answered. “Are you the bitch who kicked in my door? You know it wasn’t fucking locked, right?”

“Nope. That was me.” I channeled more mana into my fists, and they erupted into flame. “And probably don’t call her a bitch.”

“Oh? What are you going to do about it?” The man smirked. “You going to kick me like you did my door? You think that shit scares me?”

So, I kicked the jerk. He left a surprisingly large hole in the wall, and an even bigger one in a second wall ten meters behind it. I would love to say that I had figured out the floor plan and knew that I wasn’t kicking the asshole through the ship's hull, but that would have been a lie.

The truth was that we were actually just lucky that a bunch of tables and bad guys were looking back at me from the other side of the wall instead of empty space.

There was an awkward silence as everybody in the room stopped what they were doing to stare at us through the hole. It looked like I had found the rest of their crew. They were drinking and playing cards instead of whatever the hells they were supposed to be doing after their ship exploded.

“Get off your asses and kill them, you lazy fucks!” Their captain, who had somehow survived being kicked through two walls, yelled.

Everybody scrambled for a weapon before opening fire at us. Bryce moved to the side of the hole and I tucked in close to avoid the majority of the gunfire. Meanwhile, the captain started stomping his way through the room, and with every step, his mass seemed to increase.

“I’ll get the dick if you want to handle the assholes with the guns,” I said. He seemed like the bigger of the threats, and I’d never seen a bullet that could get through Bryce’s shields.

“Alright, just remember you still need to breathe and we’re on a ship flying through real-space. Try not to kick him through too many more walls.”

“No promises.” I charged through the hole and hit the captain hard in the stomach with my shoulder. He barely moved with the impact.

“Nice try, but that shit ain’t going to work on me a second time.” He smiled menacingly down at me. “Now it’s my turn.”

I was just about to reply with one of my patented quirky remarks when the asshole lifted himself up to his full height and punched down. The ground shot up to meet me before giving way, and I found myself lying on my back staring up at his stupid bearded face. He was grinning at me through the floor that he had just punched me through, like that was some sort of accomplishment or something.

“Hey assbutt!” I shouted. “Two walls is more than one floor, which means I’m still winning!”

“We’ll see about that.” The captain jumped down, and I rolled out of the way as he landed with a thud. “You’ve got fight, I’ll give you that. But I’m about to beat it out of you.”

“I feel like I should be making a joke about you beating your meat,” I said as I stood up and looked around the room. “But it’s just not coming to me.”

It looked like we were in a small cafeteria that was just barely big enough to seat ten or eleven people. There were still a few trays with half-eaten food resting on the tables.

"Let's see if you’re still joking after you’re dead.” He started swinging at me. His punches looked powerful, but he was so gods damn slow that I would almost need to be trying to get hit for him to land one.

“That’s not even a good villain line,” I said while dodging an extra powerful and particularly slow punch. “Honestly, it feels like I’m the only one putting in any effort here.”

“Just die damnit!”

“You first.” I stabbed forward with my nails extended and felt my hand pass into his stomach, but was surprised when I pulled it out, covered in dirt. That moment of surprise gave the captain an opportunity to land one of his punches, which launched me straight through two tables and into the far wall.

“I wasn’t looking, so that didn’t count,” I said. “Also, what the fuck are you?”

“What’s wrong?” He asked. “Never met an earth elemental?”

“Not one with facial hair,” I responded, then realized something. “Wait, did you add the scars to your face on purpose?”

“You like them?” The elemental grinned. “I think they make me look tough.”

“I, uh, actually, yeah I do,” I admitted. “Beard looks nice, too. How’d you manage it?”

“There’s some black sand back on Akresh,” he explained. “It’s fine enough that it makes pretty decent hair. Fools most people.”

“Well, how about that?” I rested my hands on my hips. “What are you doing on the mortal plane? Is the person who summoned you still around?”

“Technically,” he said. “My summoner was the ship’s navigator. Since his core was destroyed, he’s not all there anymore.”

“But your pact is still in place?” I asked.

“That’s right.” The earth elemental lowered his stance and raised an eyebrow. “Are we still fighting?”

“We don’t have to,” I shrugged. “I could kill you, but it’d be a pain. If you wanted to go back home instead, then I could probably arrange it.”

Earth elementals are hard to kill. Not only are they all but immune to physical attacks, they're also super resistant to fire. I’d have to melt him, which I could definitely do. But fire hot enough to melt magical dirt and rock would also melt right through the ship.

“So, you’re saying my options are to continue fighting you, and maybe win the right to die aboard a ship full of useless mercenaries drifting through real-space without a navigator, or go back to a home I haven’t seen in nearly thirty years?”

“That about sums it up.”

“Yeah, that works for me,” he answered. “Do you need help getting back to the upper deck?”