《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 280: Out Damaging an Overpowered Healing Factor
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"Whoops, guess my hand slipped." Sentenza grinned.
Ted rushed forward towards Abraham as he bled on the floor. Without thinking, he pulled off his shirt, and tried to press it into the wound on the back of the prostrate man's chest. Blood pooled under both of his knees as well, as Ted grabbed the other end of his shirt, and tried to shove it under Abraham to help soak up his blood.
"Wha?" Ted stammered, as Abrahm reached up and grabbed Ted's wrist.
The holy man pushed Ted slightly away from him, as Sentenza raised an eyebrow. With some space, Abraham scrambled forward. He moved awkwardly in a strange crawl as his legs seemed ready to give out at any moment.
BANG! BANG!
Sentenza fired at Abraham again. Both bullets found their mark and pierced through both of his shoulders and down his torso.
But it didn't stop him.
Abraham raised his head with a wild look in his eyes. He was inches from Sentenza, as his fist flew forward to crash into the cowboy's chin.
BANG!
Sentenza quickly drew his other gun and fired six shots almost simultaneously.
The first shot went to Abraham's stomach. The second his right shoulder, then his left. His right thigh was next, followed again by his left. For a fraction of a second he aimed the sixth shot between Abraham's eyes, but he twitched at the last second, and the bullet skimmed just past his cheek.
A rush of energy flew out from the bullets. Ted tried to hold his hand up to shield himself, but a warm blast followed by a wet splatter over him nearly knocked him back.
Splat!
Abraham's torso made a wet slap against the opposing wall. There was a hole where his stomach should have been, and all of his limbs were gone.
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He stayed up against the wall for a moment before a wet, schlick sounded and his upper body fell forward. It slapped into the wall again with a wet thud as his lower body acted like a hinge. But the momentum forced the rest of his body to peel off of the wall, and slap down beneath his head again.
As Abraham's body slid end over end down the wall, Ted stood up and tried to shake his arms clean. "How...how could you just kill him like that..." he managed to sputter out.
Sentenza snorted. "Maybe you should take another look at the newbie. I gotta say, you folks make it frustrating being just a normal guy around here."
"You are most definitely not within normal parameters for a human." Sid corrected.
"I...was that...a...g...g...g...gun?" Harold stammered. He quickly turned away from the scene and lowered his head down as if he was looking over important paperwork. "Busy...yes. I'm just busy. Must be seeing things. Yes, that's it. All in my head."
"Curiously, your worry is unnecessary Ted." Sid explained as he pointed to Abraham's rapidly regenerating body. "His ability to repair his own body even exceed my own."
Ted turned and they were right. Abraham was lying down against the wall, but he looked almost completely whole. Sure, his clothes were torn to pieces, but his arms and legs just looked like he had severe burns and were rapidly improving. He couldn't even see anything wrong with Abraham's stomach that had been completely missing a few moments ago.
"Didn't expect you to be so soft," Abraham taunted. "Better fix that quick, or you'll be lucky if you're just bedridden."
Sentenza flicked open both his pistols and spun them around in the air as he reached into his pockets and grabbed two handfuls of bullets. As the guns still spun, he reloaded all the chambers and then grabbed both of them while he dropped the remaining bullets from his hands and down into his awaiting pockets.
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"I wonder how much of you needs to be left to fix yourself." Sentenza wondered out loud. "Keep trying, and maybe we'll get to find out."
Abraham had a maniacal grin as he stood up on unsteady feet.
As he prepared to charge again, a skeleton popped up right in front of him.
Holy cow dude! What happened to you? Death asked. Your clothes are completely shredded.
Death paused and looked Abraham up and down. I think it looks awesome!
Abraham recoiled slightly at the sight of the skeleton. He eyed him warily, but kept his mouth shut.
"You've got great timing," Ted sighed as he felt like he could finally breathe again.
He was most definitely not a fan of standoffs like that. Two aggressive people ready to kill each other? Yeah, that was not for him.
"Curious." Sid mused. "Unnervingly good timing."
"Duh, my bro always shows up whenever it'd be best!" Og'drimun bragged.
Uh, what are you talking about? Death asked as he turned around. Whoa! Sentenza? Death disappeared, and reappeared behind the wild west assassin as he added, I thought you were confined to your bed or whatever?
Sentenza glared at Abraham for a moment, and then turned to Death. "Just wanted to see how things were going down here." He lied.
Death nodded. Nice, but like, you really could've just asked buddy! I'd be happy to keep you up to date on everything important!
Sentenza nodded. "I'm sure you would...but, I guess I've seen what I needed to. Better rest, before Ted gets too mad."
Oh yeah man, don't want that.
"I'm right here you know." Ted sighed.
Oh right. Death leaned towards Sentenza and cupped his hand as if to disguise his words. Don't worry bro, I know what you mean. Ted can get a little protective when someone's hurt. Remember ages ago with that hot chick he kept comfy up in his bed?
Ted couldn't help but crack a smile as he let out another sigh. Of course Death had forgotten that he spoke directly into their minds. And to top it off, he used the most awkward terminology for Nugget.
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