Chapter LXXXVIII - Frustration & Insecurities

Preparing her morning coffee, Nabi looked at the boys passed out on the couch, feeling content. She and Hyun went to bed earlier than the others. They were tired after a long day of swimming. It wasn’t common for her to wake up first, but it felt nice for a change.

Hyun walked downstairs, knowing she was in the kitchen. Walking around the counter, he kissed her on the cheek before pouring himself a glass of water. He walked around shirtless, which was rare, but something she enjoyed seeing.

Nabi was surprised the more she got to know Hyun. He was smart, athletic, and good-looking, but what she hadn’t expected was how introverted he was. While he could easily hold a conversation and talk for hours if something interested him, Hyun often avoided initiating things head-on. The love letter confession he gave her was something she believed should have been a tell.

“Hey, beautiful,” he said, approaching her from behind, kissing her neck.

“Hey.” She smiled but tilted her head to block him.

“What’s wrong?”

“It tickles. . .”

He put his hands on her waist and slowly turned her around.

“It’s fun waking up early and sneaking around like this. Feels like we’re doing something we’re not supposed to.” He leaned in for a kiss which she accepted, but as it started to last, she placed her hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. “What now?” Hyun looked confused and sounded a bit annoyed.

“We shouldn’t do this here,” Nabi said, averting her gaze.

“Why?” He placed a finger under her chin, making her look at him before going for another kiss.

She turned her head, preventing him from doing so.

“I don’t want to do it in front of others.”

“But they’re asleep,” he said, lowering his hand to her waist.

“I know, but. . .”

“You two are up early,” said Iseul, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

Nabi jumped, breaking away from Hyun’s grip as she got startled.

“Iseul!” she yelled, making Max mumble as he almost got woken up. Realizing she raised her voice, she lowered herself before whispering, “Hey. . . Didn’t know you were up already.”

“Hey,” Hyun said with a sigh, pouring himself more water.

“Been awake for an hour, but I stayed in bed just browsing my phone.”

“Wait. Didn’t you go to bed late? Why would you wake up so early?” Nabi asked, finishing making her coffee. “Want me to pour you some?”

“Nah, I’m going for a swim.” She looked outside. “And I guess it’s just a habit to wake up early.”

“Ah, right. . .” Nabi mumbled. “So you’re going for a swim now?”

“Yes?” Iseul raised an eyebrow, confused as to why Nabi was acting so flustered as if they got caught doing it. Shrugging her shoulders, she walked toward the deck. “Cya later.”

“Yeah,” Nabi said, giving her a meek smile.

Hyun leaned against the counter, sipping the water while he waited for the two to be alone again.

“Did you really have to jump like that?” He sighed, shaking his head before walking off.

“I. . .” She wanted to say something but ended up watching him leave.

“Take this!” Tjay yelled, spiking the volleyball.

It flew past Max as he jumped to block, forcing Sophie to receive, but she slipped. While she landed softly on the sad, the ball flew out of everyone’s reach; however, that wasn’t enough to stop Arthur from trying.

“I got it!” Arthur yelled, taking a dive and barely managing to clip it.

Tjay’s team was confident they still wouldn’t manage to recover, but Irene surprised everyone by doing a high kick and sending the ball over the net. Had she failed, their team would’ve lost.

Max easily received the ball, passing it to Nabi.

“Here!” Hyun yelled, running up to the net to follow up with another spike.

She set the ball for him, and despite it not being perfect, Hyun put a solid amount of power behind it. However, because it was so telegraphed, Iseul had an easy time predicting where it’d go, saving the team once more. Little did they know, Iseul trained volleyball for four years in her early teens.

Max and Sophie worked together to get the ball over the net, and so did Tjay and Amelia. Irene looked to Iseul before passing, hoping she’d set up a spike for Arthur as he ran up. Despite it being Arthur’s first game of volleyball in his life, his coordination and talent made him a formidable opponent right off the bat. Iseul got the ball up in the air, and as he leaped, he slammed down, hoping to score and win the set. However, things didn’t go as planned as Don blocked the spike with his face, making everyone freeze up after seeing him drop.

“Don!” Arthur yelled, worried he hurt him.

“I’m alright,” Don said, slowly getting up but looking a bit wobbly.

With a sigh of relief, Arthur smiled.

“Game point scored,” Ari said, pointing to Tjay’s team. “Tjay’s team wins!”

“What?” Max asked, but Yeona pointed to the ball that went over the net as it bounced off Don.

“We won!” Tjay celebrated, rushing to Don and jumping on him.

“Take it easy on him,” Nabi looked worried that Don wasn’t as fine as he said he was.

Yeona and Ari were the referees as the five-on-five volleyball match came to an end. An unexpected event that started all because Max snooped around the garage and found the net.

“Good job,” Hyun said to Nabi, wanting to kiss her, but she turned him a cheek. “Seriously?”

“I told you not in front of the others,” she whispered, averting her gaze.

“Then let’s go in the water.”

“Hyun. . .”

“What? Irene and Arthur do it all the time. What’s wrong with that?” He looked at Nabi and saw she was uncomfortable. Hyun let go of her, giving her space. “Forget it,” he mumbled, following up with a sigh before walking back toward the house right behind the boys.

Nabi was devastated watching him walk away yet again, blaming herself for not being open enough.

Things didn’t change after lunch when everyone was hanging around the living room. Hyun and Nabi hardly talked to each other as she was the one to initiate the conversations. The tension between the two was starting to get noticed. Nabi already mentioned to the girls that the two were having some issues, but nobody said anything as it wasn’t their place to get involved.

“Want something to drink?” Nabi asked Hyun, carefully touching his hand.

“No thanks,” he said, sounding distant before pulling his hand away.

“Okay. . .” she mumbled, averting her gaze.

She slowly got up to pour herself something, making Hyun sigh. He caught her hand, grabbing her attention.

“Get me whatever you’re getting,” he whispered, knowing he couldn’t stay annoyed forever.

She nodded with a meek smile before heading to the kitchen. Noticing that she was alone, Irene followed her while everyone else was absorbed in the ongoing conversation.

“You okay?” Irene asked, walking up behind Nabi.

“Huh?” She looked back. “Yeah. . .”

“Doesn’t seem like it.” Irene sounded worried. “Want to talk about it?”

To make it less suspicious, Irene poured herself some juice as well.

“Why? Does it look like something’s wrong?” Nabi asked, sounding awfully timid.

“Want the truth?” Irene asked to which Nabi nodded. “You look like you’re dying inside.”

“I just don’t know what to do. . .”

“Is this about the intimacy?”

“It’s not just that.” Nabi sighed. “I feel like I’m messing everything up by being so prudish.”

“Prudish?”

“Yeah,” she mumbled. “I don’t know how you do it, but I just can’t kiss in front of you guys and stuff like that.”

“Well, as long as you’re not all over each other all the time and we can talk to you, I’m sure nobody would mind.”

“Yeah, I know. But still, I just can’t do it.”

“Then why don’t you do what you can?”

“Huh?”

“Listen, do you want to be with him?”

“Yeah. . .”

“And has he done anything to hurt you?”

“No?”

“Exactly.” Irene placed her hand on Nabi’s shoulder, and despite not being a fan of Hyun, she still wanted to support her relationship. “Talking is key, so why don’t you grab him by the hand and take these drinks upstairs? Talk it out and tell him how you feel. I’m sure he’ll understand.”

“But we’re all hanging out as a group right now.”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but there’s no need for excuses. I know you’re not enjoying yourself cuz you’re stressing over things between Hyun and you. Take my advice as you will. Only you know what’s right for you.”

Irene gave her a nod before walking back into the living room. Left alone, Nabi let out a sigh before walking back to Hyun.

“Here,” she said, handing him a drink.

“Thanks.”

“Hey. . . Want to go upstairs with me?”

“Right now?” He looked surprised. “Sure.”

The two walked back to the bedroom where they sat down on the large bed they made for them by pushing the two smaller ones together. They used blankets to fill in the gap down the middle.

“So. . .” Nabi mumbled.

“Look. I’m sorry for the way I acted.” Hyun knew she wanted to talk and decided to take the initiative. “It’s just that it’s a bit frustrating chasing you around to do things I believe couples should feel free to do. We’ve been dating for a few months now, and I feel as if you don’t want to be with me.”

“That’s not true!” she reassured him, grabbing his hand and nearly spilling her drink. “I’m just not used to all this. To tell you the truth, you’re my first boyfriend.”

“That doesn’t explain you pushing me away all the time. . .”

“It’s not all the time,” she said but lacked certainty.

“Nabi. . .”

“Okay, fine. But I want to do better.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, sounding doubtful. “Look, I don’t want to be forceful with you. It makes me feel disgusted.”

“What?” She was shocked to hear him use those words.

“I mean, how would you feel if you kept coming onto someone who keeps rejecting you over and over again? It’s almost as if you’re in this relationship without a choice.”

“Hyun. . . I swear I never wanted to make you feel like that.”

“I know, and I get it. You’re not comfortable about doing things in public and I guess I can live with that, but at least I want you to be mine when we’re in private. You know. . . Like a real couple?”

Nabi took a deep breath, shuffling closer to him and planting a kiss on his lips. It was a quick peck, but enough to catch his attention. Hyun smiled, gently grabbing her hand.

“I’ll try my best.”

“Do you not trust me?” He asked, leaning closer to her neck.

“I do. . . and you’re not forcing me to do anything,” she whispered, grabbing hold of his shirt as he nibbled on her neck.

“Then come here. . .”

The two embraced each other, kissing with Nabi on top. It got heated between the two as they were both getting into it. However, it all went downhill after Hyun grabbed her butt as Nabi grabbed his wrist and forced his hand up. He was surprised, but they didn’t stop kissing and after a while he tried again, but the same thing happened.

“Stop. . .” she mumbled, kissing his neck as her hand held his wrist.

“Why?” He looked confused since he wasn’t going to initiate further than that.

She pulled away, averting her gaze.

“I don’t like it. . .”

“You don’t like me grabbing your ass while we kiss?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that-”

“You know what? It’s fine.” He sighed, slowly getting up. “I was in a mood since you looked serious about giving it a try, but I see now I was stupid to believe things could change so quickly.”

“Wait! I really want to try. . .”

“I’m sure you do, but the mood is already ruined. Don’t worry, I’m not mad. Let’s just go downstairs.”

“Hyun. . .”

“I need to go to the bathroom first,” he mumbled, walking away from her again.

Nabi wanted to break down into tears, frustrated with herself that she couldn’t just do it. In the end, she messaged Hyun saying she wasn’t feeling well, and ended up staying alone in her room for the night.

Chapter End.

Thank you for reading.