《A Frog Out Of Water - Yu-Gi-Oh GX Self Insert》Chapter 6 - Committing Assault And Battery On An Orange

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It was not the strangest night she had ever gone through, nor was it the most infuriating. Yet, Lumina pondered as she watched Jaden and Syrus dump Phil’s skinny frame into his bed, that still didn’t make her feel any less annoyed. Still, it could be worse, Lumina shivered as brief flashbacks to the merger with Cyber Dragon Inc. raced through the back of her mind. Even a few centuries later the humiliation of having to serve drinks to Cyber End Dragon, who then got trashed with her boss Michael, was something she was never fully able to forget. That, and poor Garoth. Even Lord Ryko wasn’t able to find his nice, handmade desk that Cyber End Dragon had thrown out of the window on the 200th floor as a drunken joke.

What a prick.

However, Lumina clapped her hands as she got to work, still trying with all her might to follow the… somewhat helpful words of Minerva and the less helpful threats from Ryko. She bustled around the room, gathering a pitcher of water, some fruits from a welcome basket that Phil had completely ignored, and she even grabbed a bottle of premade coffee from the dining room.

Hopefully this’ll be enough to deal with the hangover. She pondered to herself. Though maybe I should keep all this stuff to the side, out of sight from Phil. A few minutes dealing with as bad as a hangover as he’ll probably be waking up with might serve well to take the fangs out of his attitude.

Lumina nodded to herself, and then slid the water, fruits, and coffee underneath the unoccupied bed that was reserved for Phil’s eventual roommate. Then, with all of her preparations for the morning finished, she steeled herself and picked up the room phone.

With each button pressed came a loud, almost obnoxious beep that almost felt like a clock of doom ticking forwards, only instead of ticks it was those…

Stupid…

Beeps…

“Judgement and Punishment LLC, this is Raiden.” The familiar voice of Lumina’s coworker answered with boredom in his tone. Obviously it was a slow day in the office.

“Hey Raiden, sorry about the abrupt call. I… just want to pick your brain for a few minutes, if you have time.”

The line went silent for a few minutes save for only the clicking of a computer mouse. Then, Raiden’s voice answered her back with a bit more attentiveness in it. “Yeah, no problem Lumina. The match on Twooch TV’s almost done anyways. Looks like Pankratops has a good shot at winning the title belt again. So, what’s up?”

Lumina quietly sighed, sitting at the nearby desk and leaning back to try and get comfortable – an impossible task, as the chair was wooden with no cushions. “You’ve worked your way up in the ranks to a tier 2 position, working with all sorts of reincarnators in your time, right?” At Raiden’s grunt of acknowledgement, she continued. “Did you ever have to deal with any of the… difficult ones? Like the ones that just don’t listen to you, but they haven’t completely abandoned the mission so you can’t even escalate the issue to someone like Lyla?”

Lumina could hear the creak of Raiden’s desk chair as he leaned back, a moment of silence on the line reassuring Lumina that he was actually considering her problem with a good amount of serious thought.

“Having issues with that Phillip guy? I see…” Raiden mumbled over the phone, and then his voice became louder, so loud that Lumina had to yank the phone from her ear for a few seconds. “Oi! Intern! Yeah, that’s you, Swamp Battleguard! Go with your brother and grab me the file folder for a ‘Phillip Jenson’! If you get it to me in less than five minutes you fellas can finish off the donuts in the break room from the morning meeting!”

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Several crashing and banging noises were audible even over the phone as the two interns, whom Lumina knew very well at this point to be quite excitable boys, leaped to fulfil Raiden’s orders.

“Come’on, come’on, YEAH! WOOOOO!” Raiden yelled while the interns went on their search. “Pankratops does it again! A clean one-two knockout baby! Rambrachio couldn’t even match him! You know what this means, Lumina? You know what this means?”

Lumina shook her head, chuckling softly at her coworker’s sheer enthusiasm. “No, Raiden, I apologize but I do not.”

“Naw, you’re fine.” Raiden immediately responded, before continuing with passion dripping through his every word. “This was Pankratop’s fifth title belt win in a row. It means… that legendary match that happens only once a millennium is about to begin, next week on Twooch TV. Pankratops. Versus. The. King. T……… Wwwrrrrrextle!”

Lumina couldn’t help herself, erupting into a loud fit of laughter as Raiden drew out the name of T Wrextle like a wrestling announcer.

“Really. Haha, that’s great.” Lumina managed to choke out between laughs.

“Yeah! I know, right? I think the last time King T Wrextle got challenged, it was… wasn’t it Master Monk? It was a pretty close fight, I remember. Oh, and perfect timing, Swamp Battleguard! Looks like all the files are here, so how about you take Lava Battleguard and polish off those donuts? I’m sure the Morphing Jar maintenance guy will be happy to have a little less cleanup over there.”

Papers rustled against a file folder as Raiden looked over their contents, every so often muttering “I see…” and “So that’s how it is…”

Finally, as Lumina was beginning to admire the morning sun peeking gently into the window, Raiden cleared his throat, and she focused her attention back to him.

“Right… I think I might have found a few points that’ll get you your answer. With how difficult you’ve described him as being, that tells me one of two things: either he was that much of an asshole to begin with, well before he was killed and brought over, or there was an issue with the transfer. It seems he was a few years out of college, which in human terms puts him at around 22 to 25 years old at time of death, which makes it unlikely to be as bad as you describe. Now, we usually try to nab people that have at least some amount of experience with the world that they are going to reincarnate into, but it looks like here Wulf and Aurkus left a sticky note that since they were having issues finding someone freshly killed that was inordinately familiar with the setting, they instead had to settle with someone who was familiar with Yu-Gi-Oh as a whole. And… hm, another sticky note left by Jain says her crew had a few issues in nabbing his soul quickly. Something about it being temporarily obscured by a large amount of brain matter spread over the wall behind Phillip’s corpse.”

A few more seconds passed as both Raiden and Lumina digested that information, until Raiden’s voice picked up again with his conclusion.

“Yeah. My guess is that a piece or two of his soul is either missing or damaged due to the messy death. I’ve had this happen once before myself, with a guy I took over to that one Digimon world. His initial death was so bad I had to call in the Morphing Jars to scrape his remains off the pavement in order to actually find the soul, but by the time I found it, part of the soul had already moved on. I didn’t think much of it and dropped him in the world, but not even a week later the guy was dead. I spoke with Celestia over in R&D about it, and she seemed to think that souls can naturally sense it if they aren’t fully whole, even if the person themself does not realize it consciously. The actual person won’t notice much, but it tends to lead into them being a bit more… volatile, and having some issues with impulse control. I think the guy I had died after trying to fist fight a Digimon or something, so Celestia’s hypothesis makes sense.”

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Lumina nodded, a few of her thoughts clearing up as Phil’s behavior started to make a bit more sense. She began to voice another question, but Raiden’s pondering voice interrupted her mid-thought.

“Oh yeah, that’s right. Wasn’t there another guy we dropped in GX a few weeks back? Let me check with Felis. I think that’s her case. Do you mind if I put you on hold for a few minutes to do that?”

I… didn’t even know there was another reincarnator in this world… Lumina thought to herself, ultimately shrugging as her supervisors probably wouldn’t let it affect things too much. About five minutes passed, the silence on the line only broken up by Phil’s occasional mumbles in his sleep, before Raiden’s voice sounded out from the phone again.

“Yeah, looks like Felis is having a few issues on her side, too. She double checked with Wulf to make sure, but her guy is certainly a bit more aggressive and quieter than he was in his original life. Anyways, so my suggestion is to sit Phillip down and speak to him nice and slow. Make sure he fully understands what his mission is, what he gets for completing it, and that he gets an idea with what you yourself can do as a duel spirit. Part of the issue might be that he has little idea of your exact capabilities, so he might not be taking you 100 percent seriously. If you have any further issues, give me a call and I’ll cover for you for the bosses. It shouldn’t be your fault if your reincarnator doesn’t perform as expected, but for some reason they think it is and that’s bullshit.”

“Right, thanks Raiden, I owe you one.” Lumina responded in a grateful tone.

“Darn right you do, girl. How about you treat me to some burgers at that place run by Silent Magician next time you’re around the office? I’ve heard she grills some mean dead cow.”

“No problem. Thanks, Raiden. Bye.”

Lumina gently set the phone on the receiver, casting a glance over at Phil who was beginning to stir.

Hopefully this’ll work…

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Phil woke up to an absolute banger of a headache, along with a hangover that he was quite confident ranked at least the top 20 worst hangovers he had ever experienced.

“Damn it all…” He groaned, massaging his head in an attempt to make the pain end. “And this is why I stopped drinking after college…”

Opposite of him, seated on the empty bed meant for his roommate, Lumina stared at him with a hard look in her eyes, making Phil do a double take as he finally registered her presence.

“Yo, Lightsworn lady. Mornin’. You got any coffee? Or eggs? This hangover’s a real bastard and I get the feeling I shouldn’t show myself at the breakfast table before I get rid of the obvious effects. It would be a shame to get expelled over some dumbass drinking age restrictions.”

“Phil… we need to talk. Once I’m happy with the results, I’ll get you all the coffee and fruit you want. Deal?”

Phil laughed, wincing as his headache flared up again. “Damn you remind me of some of my teachers back in high school.” Then, he flopped back to lay in his bed with his hands behind his head. “Yeah, lay it on me lady.”

“Do you… do you remember what I said your goal was?” Lumina began.

“Yeah. Something about helping Jaden with that Yubel fella and the Light of Destruction?”

“Then why are you acting like an arrogant fool?”

Now that, Lumina considered with a spark of interest, got a reaction from the man, who swiveled his head to look at her.

“Look, mate, I fuckin’ know. I get a second shot at life if help Jaden take those bad guys down and survive doing so. I’ll admit, I want that shot. I… I miss my family, back home.” Phil was silent for a bit before continuing, and Lumina even noticed his hands beginning to shake. “I… ah fuck. Where do I even start. You know how I died, right? After you shoved me in this damned teenaged body, what happened to my old one back home?”

Lumina nodded to show that she did know. “Your body wouldn’t have disappeared if that is what you ask. We only intercept the soul for reincarnation.”

“So my mom, my dad, had to hear about me getting my brains fucking blown out in a game store? And I can’t even go to tell them that I’m alright? I get it, I have a job to do here, and if I do it well I can eventually tell them I’m alright myself. But… I don’t know if you know, that while I know (sort of) who Yubel is, and I’ve heard the name Light of Destruction once or twice…”

Phil brought his body upright to a seated position. “I don’t know the details. I never watched more than two or three episodes of the anime, and I never got around to completely finishing the manga. I really don’t know what all I actually can do to deal with those threats until they make themselves blatantly obvious, other than simply sticking around in the school. Sure, I’ll be there for Jaden if I’m still alive for the final battles. He’s a nice guy, and even though I haven’t had many interactions with him personally, I know enough about him to respect him. Plus, I want to eventually duel him at his strongest, and I can’t do that if Yubel mercs him. I want to duel Jaden, I want to duel Zane, I want to duel Yugi, and Kaiba too. After that, its straight home for me.”

Hungover Phil is surprisingly reasonable… Lumina considered. Too bad he’s such a pain when drunk. Otherwise, I would try and keep him like this whenever possible. Maybe it’s the headache taking the edge off his assholery?

“Fine. Just so long as we’re clear on that.” Lumina replied before reaching under the bed she was sitting on to reveal an orange. “However,” She frowned, looking Phil straight in the eyes to better get her point across, and then directing her magic towards the orange. It swelled, brimming with light and a humming energy, until finally the orange exploded with a loud ‘bang’, parts of the peel hitting the glass of the nearby window with enough force to visibly crack it. Then, as Phil gaped at her in a mix of wonder and fear, she drew upon her power again for the next part, one that was always a bit trickier than the initial explosion. Returning an object from the ‘graveyard’ to the ‘field’. Bit by bit, the scattered pulp, orange peels, and even the cracked seeds floated upwards, and then drew together to float above the palm of her outstretched hand.

“I am on your side, Phil. Make no mistake of that. I only ask that you allow me to do my job, and to give me even a modicum of respect that I am due, as a mid-ranking duel spirit.”

And then, with a flash of life the orange was whole once more. Lumina bounced the fruit in her hand a few times to drive home her point, before quickly peeling it and handing it to Phil. Then, as he stared at the fruit with a mixed expression, she dug under the bed again to produce a bottle of premade coffee.

“Here you go, Phil. Can’t have you getting expelled for looking obviously hungover, can we?” Lumina forced a humorous tone into her voice as she judged Phil’s reaction to see if her demonstration was sufficient.

“Yeah. Haha, can’t have that, can we.” Phil took the coffee, deftly twisting off the cap in one motion before gulping it in between slices of orange and bouts of laughter as his mind finished processing what had just happened.

A few minutes of silence followed as human and duel spirit glanced out of the cracked window to enjoy the rising sun, until Phil finally finished the orange and opened his mouth with a questioning gaze.

“I didn’t know you duel spirits could do crazy stuff like that. I always thought you were all like Winged Kuriboh, who seemed like just a cheerleader and a source of companionship to Jaden. But…” He hesitated, his hands playing with the empty bottle of coffee as he considered his words. “You said you were a mid-ranking duel spirit, right? Then what the fuck can a high-ranking one do, if you can already blow up a poor man’s oranges?”

Lumina stared at him in amusement, her gaze flickering between Phil and his deck box. She was sure of it now, as the swift flash of killing intent that had emanated from it during her little orange demonstration as a reminder to not get too carried away had proved it.

“Oh, I have a feeling you’ll find out soon… Oh, and it seems your new friends are at the door.” Lumina answered as a barrage of knocks hit the door.

“I suppose,” Phil responded as he wryly grinned towards her, before grabbing his duel disk and moving to answer. “I just hope I didn’t say anything too bad to them or Alexis last night. Fffuuuuccckk… I hope not. I can barely remember most of it…”

Phil stopped moving towards the door at that realization, only continuing to open it after Lumina shook her head with a grin and patted him on the shoulder.

“Mornin’ fellas.” Phil spoke with a slight yawn as he opened the door to reveal Jaden, Syrus, and a larger boy he eventually recognized as Chumley.

Chillin’ out with the crew in the schoolyard. Guess we’re gonna find some trouble, hope we don’t have to look too hard.

Phil could almost hear that song playing in the background as he walked off with his newfound friends to the first class, his Ra Yellow jacket settled loosely over his shoulders and his duel disk ready at his arm.

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