Phil rested his arms against the railing of the boat, watching the island that hosted Duel Academy gradually come into view. His shoulders, covered by the mustard-yellow jacket that denoted his status as Ra Yellow, shivered in anticipation of what he would be able to enjoy in the next few years.

Now… I don’t believe any super serious shit would be likely to happen this early in the school year, from what I remember from the anime and manga, so the question is how to go about all this. For long term goals… I’ve gotta build up a rep so the big players will take my challenges seriously. That would require excelling in classes, holding a good dueling record, and doing my best to catch the eye of that prick Crowler and the principal. Ah, what the hell, forget the good dueling record. Let’s go for perfect. The students shouldn’t have anything too threatening outside of Jaden’s luck-based shenanigans and Zane’s Cyber Dragons, barring any blatant magic.

The word magic immediately sent a realization into Phil’s head as the boat bumped into the dock and the students began to disembark.

The elephant in the room. I know shadow games still exist in GX, but I don’t remember if they’ve been changed up or if Duel Spirits have affected them any. I don’t have some random-ass Egyptian Pharoah that I can swap places with, or any super cool magic powers. Worse of all, I clearly remember back in the Duelist Kingdom arc, when regular Yugi tried to participate in the shadow game between Yami Yugi and Pegasus, regular Yugi nearly passed out or died or something.

Phil’s sneakers hit the gangplank and he mentally shrugged. Sounds like a problem for future Phil. Fuck future Phil.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Several hours later, after an extraordinarily long welcome speech by Dr. Crowler and Chancellor Shepard, Phil finally managed to have a moment to himself in his dorm room. It was a decent place, a bit more crowded than his old apartment as apparently Phil had been assigned a roommate that had yet to arrive, but as Phil could faintly remember the… accommodations that the Slifer Reds would have to put up with, he considered himself in a decent spot. At least, until he inevitably rose to Obelisk Blue.

But, Phil kept in mind, that would come with time.

Maybe in a few weeks.

“Anyways, enough fooling around.” Phil slapped his cheeks a few times to concentrate. “Deck building time. I need something good, but not something too good. I need to be able to easily handle whoever I challenge, but keep the crazy shit in reserve for matchups against important duelists and enemies. I suppose that leaves me… Chaos Warriors, Ben Kei OTK, Beastdown, or maybe Monarchs. Goat control could be fun, but boring to any watchers. Don’t want that, I want to leave strong impressions. I suppose Ben Kei might be a bit too janky, so that’s out for now. Chaos Warriors could be fun…”

Phil paced around his room, his hands habitually running through his hair as his mind raced from thought to thought.

“You know, what the fuck. I haven’t played Beastdown in a while.” He eventually decided while reaching for a drab, brown deckbox, taking out the contents to switch out the frog deck that was in his duel disk. The cards clicked in place; each card lovingly sleeved so the duel disk wouldn’t chew them up. He heaved out a sigh, and then jumped almost three feet in the air as the room phone rang.

“Huh. Is that the roomie calling to apologize for being late or something?” Phil muttered to himself as he picked up the corded phone, holding it up to his ear. A few seconds of silence passed, until Phil, unable to bear the stalemate, spoke first.

“Roadkill Café, you kill it, we grill it, how can I help you?” Phil rattled out in an overly cheerful voice.

A longer period of silence answered Phil’s question, followed by some unintelligible whispering as Phil picked out such fun words as ‘right person?’ and ‘café answered’.

Eventually, Phil’s renewed patience was rewarded as a woman hastily cleared her throat and answered him.

“Phillip Jenson. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to prove that you are worthy at a second chance in life by assisting Jaden Yuki in defeating the menace that is ‘Yubel’ and helping in their fight against the Light of Destruction. If you do so…”

“What the fuck lady?” Phil interrupted with obvious annoyance in his voice. “Who the hell are you, why the fuck are you ordering me around, and what are you doing in my fucking phone?”

The woman on the other side of the line took a deep breath, and as her voice began to shake with frustration, ignored Phil’s questions in favor of finishing her sentence.

“If you do so, then you will be given a choice once Jaden Yuki has graduated between two options. One…”

“I have my answer already, lady.” Phil sang out, cutting her off again.

“… And what is that?”

Phil cleared his throat, straightened an imaginary tie, and then moved the phone so it was right against his mouth.

“FACK OFF! Fuckin’ hell, you don’t just drop something like that on a guy? Fucking give me some proof that you ain’t some prank caller first!” He shouted with all his might into the phone, oblivious to the cry of surprise on the other end of the line.

“Please, I had been told you were a difficult case… but just be silent and listen for even a single minute!” The woman cried, clearly reaching the end of her rope.

And boy, did Phil notice as a sharklike grin split across his face. It was now time for his favorite activity, being a sarcastic dipshit.

“No.” He responded with a deliciously smug voice.

The line went silent for a few more seconds, with only the faint sound of what seemed to be heavy breathing coming from the other side of the line.

“You… you… you stupid bastard! This is important!” She cried in her futile attempt to make Phil see reason.

Phil tilted his head to the side, considering her words, and then responded appropriately.

“FUCK YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! DON’T YOU FUCKING TALK ABOUT MY FATHER LIKE THAT I’LL FUCKING TAKE THIS FUCKING PHONE AND SHOVE IT SO FAR DOWN YOUR FUCKING THROAT THAT MY SKINNY-ASS ARMS’LL BE COMING OUT OF YOUR FUCKING SPINE LIKE WE’RE IN MORTAL KOMBAT!” He shouted with a smile on his face, and then slammed the phone against the receiver so hard that a small crack formed at the top.

“Ahhh… nothing like being able to fuck with a telemarketer to make a day even better.” Phil hummed to himself as he dusted off his hands, considering it a job well done.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

- At that same time, in the Spirit World –

A tanned woman in a white dress slammed her desk phone into its receiver, her free hand busy mashing a stress ball into oblivion.

“That… that stupid bastard!” she raged towards her nearest coworker, a burly-looking ogre who wore an apologetic expression and was already busy trying to calm her down.

“He seemed a bit difficult, Miss Lumina. Did he at least accept or decline the terms?” The ogre questioned as he passed a calming cup of tea towards Lumina.

She took a sip of the tea, savoring its aroma and taste, until her eyes shot open and she sat the cup down on the table. Her eyes closed and she pinched her forehead, trying and failing to stave off the encroaching headache.

“No. No he didn’t.” She muttered in despair. Then, she got up, grabbed the teacup, drained its contents, and swept her jacket around her shoulders.

Behind her, the kindly ogre waved his hands in farewell, shouting “It’ll be okay! The human world has some tasty food! It’s not even winter yet, so it should be nice and warm!”

Little did he know that his words went in one ear of Lumina’s and out the other as she cursed the company policies that required all transmigrators to either accept or decline the given mission.