《Getting Hard (Journey of a Tank)》88 - Keep Out of Reach of Children
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I spun around and charged straight at the [Lvl 26 (Elite) Blighted Hermit Crabore]. “Time for round two! Or a continuation of round one? Either works.”
I planned to run and survive until it simply died from the Blight: an inelegant but effective strategy.
Running away from it was dangerous as I might get clobbered by its claws. But if I consistently stayed behind it, I'd be safe. Furthermore, I recalled that Crabores had a hard time turning in place.
The Blighted Crabore raised both of its claws as I approached. I jabbed my spear into the ground and locked my front legs straight, stopping my momentum as I was about to run into its wall of a face. The massive claws came down like a pile driver.
Using the spear as a pivot point, I dashed left to avoid certain death, steadying my footing as the ground trembled from the impact of the claws.
The Blighted Crabore clumsily turned, trying to follow me as I rounded its vast body and headed for its butt. Did crabs have butts? They probably did, but not behind them like a human's would be.
It was so slow in turning that I could log out, visit the fancy restaurant a block away for a dinner of garlic butter crab, and return to the game, and it still wouldn't be finished.
"Round and round we go!" I said.
Patience was the key. Patience and focus. I needed to maintain concentration because it would take some time for my opponent to die.
"Man, you have an even longer health bar than the Maggroths. But this goes to show length isn't everything." It was as proverbially uttered by a female conceptual stand-in for purposes of hilarity.
But my opponent wasn't about to let me have an easy win.
The Blighted Crabore stopped turning. I also stopped circling it, wondering what it was going to do next.
It lowered its body, excitedly clicking its mandibles as it did. I realized what was coming next. Pushing its legs down and its body up, it jumped in one explosive motion.
The sight of the Blighted Crabore in the air was startling and comical. It rose about one and a half times my height off the ground. The cavern’s ceiling was so low that I half-hoped it would impale itself on the golden crystal formations jutting down. Unfortunately, that didn't happen.
"Thanks for the offer, but being a pancake simply won't work out for me," I muttered, avoiding the Blighted Crabore's landing spot, which was supposed to be me. The quake that followed almost made me tumble, but I made it out of the AoE just in time.
It was quiet after that. The ground was still; there were no loud scuttling noises.
I didn't immediately return to the Blighted Crabore’s side. It was doing something suspicious. "What are you looking for?" I loudly asked it even if there'd be no response forthcoming.
The humanoid hands growing out of my enemy’s carapace were rummaging through the junk they held on to its back. One hand found something that I couldn't quite make out. As the hands passed the item along to the front of the Crabore, I saw that it was a canister containing blue liquid.
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It crushed the bottle with its pincers. The liquid inside evaporated into a blue cloud. In one breath, the Blighted Crabore inhaled all the fumes.
Was that the same substance Bawu used to buff her pet? This asshole must've found a spare bottle here; Bawu did use this room for storage.
Besides increasing the speed, strength, and health regeneration of the Carrion Golem, it also gave it lightning powers. Was the same thing going to happen to my crustacean pal?
And the answer to that question was a resounding yes.
The Blighted Crabore violently shook itself. Sounds of cracks reverberated as if someone was firing a gun. It must be breaking its shell as its body grew. Even as rocks, pieces of wood, and metal scraps fell from its body, it looked larger than before.
I grimaced in annoyance. The rate of its decreasing health slowed as if it wasn't slow enough already. The health regeneration buff from the blue chemical was fighting back the Blight. Thankfully, its life was still going down, which was the important thing. I couldn't kill it otherwise.
Blue lightning wrapped the Blighted Crabore's claws. Electricity rushed up its arms and danced all over its body, igniting some of the junk it had on its back. Too bad it didn’t seem bothered by the small fires.
"Bawu shouldn't leave chemicals like that within reach of children," I said with a sigh.
What made it worse was that her children were monsters. If scientists were always this careless, we'd have a zombie outbreak—right, we were already in the middle of one.
In its buffed state, I wouldn't be able to outrun the Blighted Crabore anymore. Circling it might still work. But I didn't rush in just yet, cautious of its new skills.
The Blighted Crabore slammed its claws to the ground, causing waves of lightning to creep on the floor like ripples in water. The AoE wasn't that wide, but I couldn't stick to it and make it turn in place.
Snapping its claws, a shower of sparks erupted. Then it pointed one of them at me. A ball lighting formed between its pincers.
"Uh-oh." I evaded the burst of lightning that erupted from its claw. "I see. This is how it prevents players from just waiting it out to die." But I was still going to try precisely just that.
I ran in a wide circle around it to see its reaction. The Blighted Crabore could not only turn faster, but it also scampered after me while shooting its newfound power.
Bolts of lightning lit up the dim cave. I stuck my arms to my sides and bent my upper body as far down as I could without tipping over to provide as small of a target as possible. I wasn't sure I could dodge the bolts for long. It'd take only one lucky hit to kill me.
Worse, the Blighted Crabore was also gaining on me. Damn it! This isn't going to work!
Before I got my ass squished or fried, or squished and fried, I braked with the help of my spear once again. I tightly turned to face behind me, holding on to my spear impaled on the ground.
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Without any hesitation, I charged towards the Blighted Crabore. My forward profile presented a much narrower target. I also zigzagged, hoping that'd help me survive. As soon as I got close enough, I placed a Totem right in front of its ugly face before swerving right.
The Totem cast [Enraging Taunt]. The Blighted Crabore swung its claw, instantly deleting my Totem from this virtual world. However, I was already by its side, dropping another Totem like a bird dropping its poop on my car. I'm not good with similes while I'm focused on not dying.
The Blighted Crabore scuttled with its many legs to face the Totem to its left. I continued my curved path, reaching behind it. I placed another Totem before hauling my ass away as it destroyed the previous one.
I stopped about three meters away from its left. From this position, I could see and reach the front and back portions of its massive body with my casting range. Thus, began my Totem Juggling, continuously placing Totems behind it as it turned and turned in place. This piece of shit would spin like hard disks in old computers.
But everything wasn't as smooth sailing as I'd like.
The Blighted Crabore broke out of my devious bind several times. Its AoE electric skill could destroy both Totems at once and had a radius longer than my casting range. There'd be nothing to hold it for a moment, not to mention I also had to retreat not to get caught in the AoE.
And that was enough of an opening for my stubborn enemy to chase me again. The same goes for its jumping attack. That skill had an even wider AoE than the electric waves one.
After each time I had to disengage, it took some effort to reestablish my Totem Juggling hold. But in the end, Herald Stone prevailed, as how things should be.
[ Loot: 1309 Artas, (5) Toxic Goop, (3) Chitin Armor Pieces, (2) Crab Leg, (1) Concentrated Fulguris Extract ]
[ Quest Completed: Clearing Operations I ]
"Nice work, Herald," I said. "Thank you, Herald," I replied to myself. I'd say it was as easy as watching my opponent kill itself, but it was damn hard work and took an ungodly amount of time. Bawu better appreciate my efforts to clean up her mess.
"I appreciate your effort, youngling," Bawu said, rubbing her gnarly hands together. Luckily, it was Good Grandma Bawu that was on the helm. "Now, a fitting reward for the diligent youngling for helping this old lady clean a tiny spill."
"A tiny spill? Well, it's definitely not tiny now." I folded my arms and tapped my hooves. "And I hope the reward is good, not ironically dangerous."
Sparkling lights of Essence and Gli flowed into me. A few more monsters or perhaps one more completed quest, and I'd be able to unlock the third Rank of my Cidule. Five thousand Arthas went into my inventory. Everything seemed normal.
No other rewards? But I was satisfied with this since I didn't end up in a vat with the village guards.
[Received: Nam-go Poison Bottle]
"Oh! What's this?" I asked, taking the bottle out of my inventory. Its deep amber glass container was shaped like a coiled snake. Or a coiled turd. "A consumable item with five uses?"
Nam-go Poison Bottle | Item Level: 15
Epic | Consumable | No Requirement
A potent poison carefully extracted from the Nam-go serpent and distilled to its most concentrated form over the course of a fortnight. This modestly difficult to prepare concoction reduces a poisoned unit’s Armor and Health Regeneration by 10%, as well as causes a loss of 2% of Max Health per second. (If applied to equipment, it has a 12% chance of poisoning the enemy per damage instance. Poisoned Status lasts for 6 seconds)
Duration: 10 Minutes
Uses: 5/5
“A minor poison to coat your weapon,” Mad Brewer Bawu said. She mimed in the air as if she were wielding a sword. “A strapping youngling like yourself can surely land a hit on your opponent with fine swordsmanship. Through the gaping wound, the poison enters the body of your adversary and slowly dissolves their flesh, causing immense pain and—”
“I get the picture,” I interjected. An exciting idea popped into my galaxy-spanning brain. “Er…Brewer Bawu,” I said, deciding not to add ‘Mad’ to her title, “Can I coat my armor or shield with this Nam-go Poison?”
“Armor or shield?” She scratched the bottom of her tusk with her claw-like nail.
"The item does say equipment, not only weapons,” I said. "I thought if my armor is coated with poison, my enemy will get poisoned if they touch me."
"Oh, younglings and their crazy ideas!" Bawu cackled. "If you want to poison someone, you must get the poison inside them. That's elementary, my dear youngling. And how will you do that? You can force open their mouth and dump the bottle’s contents straight down their gullet—although that might require quite an effort.
"An easier way is to apply it through a break on their skin. A wound, if you will. Just a flick of your blade would work. You can't wound someone with your shield now, could you? Or I suppose you can. A good smashing could bruise someone."
"That means shield skill counted? Or anything that can deal damage can apply poison?" Retribution damage could probably apply this poison. It'd be an interesting development if it were possible. I couldn't wait to test it, but I had more questions for Bawu. "What if I drink this?"
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