“Daddy, can't you stay?” Hannah pleaded, eyes glassing into tears. “I’m sorry sweety,” I said, wiping the tear from her cheek.

Hannah grabbed my waist so tight, that I could feel the struts on my left side, groaning from the squeeze. Shin-Lee stood behind the kitchen table, hands folded behind her arms. Not saying a word, and not a hint of emotion reflected from her eyes.

Shin-Lee was numb when it came to me leaving home for extended periods, but Hannah? This was new to her. No, this was new to me. I’ve never seen my little girl plead to me in this manner, not in this way, and it broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

“It’s gonna be alright,” I said softly, caressing her hair, trying to soothe her agitation away, but she shrugged my hand off, angry.

“You always say that! You aren’t here when mommy’s crying! You weren’t here when I lost my tooth. You’re never here! PLEASE STAY!” she heaved, shouting from the top of her voice.

My eyes drifted down to her, feeling my knees quiver from the weight of her words, and then she began hitting me in the stomach with her fist, channelling her anger as I’ve never seen before. “Stop that Hannah!” Shin-Lee said sharply. “He’s your father, he’s never raised his hand at you, he’s spoiled you all your life! You have no right to talk to him like that!”

I felt a bead of water throb in my right eye, but I wiped it before anyone could see, not giving it a chance to fall down. , “YOU HATE ME DON’T YOU?!” Hannah screamed into my waist. “I HATE YOU!”

Hannah released me, running past her mother and down the corridor into her bedroom. My backpack slid off my shoulders, as I chased after her running past Shin-Lee.

A metallic slashing sound hissed through the corridor as I turned the corner. Once I reached Hannah’s door I tried entering but the negative chime wouldn’t let me in. She knows how to set a password already? I mused, feeling my stomach churn within.

The butterflies that were raging within, reminded me how much my little girl had grown without me and what I’d miss. I hated it because I truly wanted nothing else but to be here.

“Hannah I promise, this is the last time we’ll be apart,” I said knocking on her door. “Just open up, let daddy see your face one more time before he goes…please.”

“She’s not going to open up.” Shin-Lee said, “it’s best if you leave now, or she’ll never come out.”

“How long has this been going on?” I asked, confused.

“Not long, two years.”

“Two years?! Why haven’t you said anything?”

“…because I know how you’d take it. We agreed I’d handle things at home with Hannah, whilst you dealt with making and getting the credits.”

“You could’ve said something!” I snapped.

“…for you to worry even more? Kaiden, you barely functioned when she got cold at two years old. You came back home with a god damn gunshot wound in your side. I’m not telling you this to punish, I’m keeping things from you to keep your head in the game!”

I balled my hands into a fist, feeling my calluses scratch my palms like sandpaper against the wood. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, Shin-Lee was right, whenever something was going on with Hannah my mind wandered the world like a leaf, hoping to find a solution to the problem soon. It was rare for it to be like that, but when it was…it wasn’t something I enjoyed experiencing.

“You’re right,” I whispered, feeling the butterflies extinguish from my stomach, turning into pebbles, making me feel weaker by the second.

Shin-Lee smothered her hands across my waist, burying her head into my back, and then began hitting me with her forehead. “Promise me you’ll come back” She whispered.

“I will come back.” I said firmly, “…and this will be the last time I ever leave you and Hannah alone.”

“Do you mean it?”

“…with all of my heart.”

I spun Shin-Lee around and then kissed her on the cheek. I knew she wasn’t mentally ready for anything because of what happened with Akatani. Hell, this was one of the few times we’d even touched recently, but instead of her forcing herself in front of Hannah, she slid her lips in front of my own, kissing me, then sliding her lips down my throat.

“I love you.” She said.

“I love you too…”

The kiss didn’t last long, but I was satisfied to feel something, to feel her love. I turned from her, staring at Hannah’s door and inhaled deeply. “I’ll be back before you know it, Hannah…I promise. I know you’re angry with me, but regardless of how you feel about me. I want you to know that I Love you, with all my heart.”

I raised the microphone for my ear, hoping to hear something within Hannah’s room, but the only room but the only thing I heard was Hannah sobbing quietly.

I went to type in the override code for Hannah’s door, but Shin-Lee grabbed my hand and then shook her head. “Go…you’re only going to make yourself feel worst.” She said.

She then kissed me on the cheek, then pulled me away from Hannah’s door, leading me through the kitchen to the door. “Don’t think on it too much,” She said, “just come back to us. I’ll handle Hannah.”

I nodded but felt as though I’d both of my girls down. It wasn’t my first time in all honesty, but I swear to god. This is the last FUCKING time!