“Hannah, come here,” I said, waving my little girl over to me. She pouted, placing her hands on her kimber as she took her eyes from the stuffed rabbit dangling above her.

I shook my head, but she wasn’t having it. She pouted her lips, even more, shaking her head in return. She wanted that the stuffed rabbit, and by rights as her father, she should get it, but not with her shaking her head at me.

“Kaiden,” Shin-Lee said sternly. “You spoil her too much. She has enough animal stuffing at home. four of which you bought in the last month.”

I bit my bottom lip, feeling as though I’d just been scolded and rightfully so. “One more won’t hurt right?” I said glumly.

“For you, it won’t. Who do you think has to wash those things when she spills food and drink all over em’…you?” Shin-Lee said, tilting her head daring me to answer.

I smiled bitterly and nodded. “You’re right.”

“As usual.” She answered.

My eyes drifted to Hannah and a gust of wind swept across the amusement park, making her hold her ponytail puffs in place.

Littered styrofoam crates and cups, and other bits of garbage scrapped across the cracked asphalt, annoying the few people that decided to make the trip here.

I shook my head, watching Hannah open her eyes, play with her hair then pouted her lips again, marching back over to Shin-Lee and me. “Please daddy?” She said, tilting her head and smiling cutely. God damn it, she’s too cute! I huffed to myself.

I turned to Shin-Lee, whose face straightened. She stepped away and wrinkled her nose, not saying a word, or even looking in my direction. I felt as though the entirety of the amusement park’s lights were pointing at me as if I was the star of the show. A star that’s about to get his ass handed to him. I thought bitterly.

My knees groaned out, as I flashed my best smile kneeling and levelling my head with Hannah’s own. I began stroking her hair and then patted her cheek with my natural hand. “Sorry hun, but I can’t get this one for you, OK?”

Hannah frowned, eyes beginning to glass. I picked her up not allowing her to goad me with those water weapons. She hicked a sob as she nestled her head into my shoulder, she then sniffled and began to sob soft, which made me weak.

I turned to Shin-Lee, who ignored me without even acknowledging my gaze. I began walking towards another stall, which had an array of lights that blinked intermittently in the fashion of a rainbow, making the cotton candy sparkle.“You’ve gotten me in trouble Hannah,” I said patting her back. “But that’s OK, it’s better to be in trouble than not have you here.” I finished, whispering softly.

Balls Amusement park was one of the many parks within Castrian. It was also one of the smaller ones within the Federation, which made it more intimate.

If I were to compare it to Bridge City’s amusement park, Balls would be a dot in a desert in size. However, unlike the machine-like customer service I would receive from Bridge City, the workers here were a lot friendlier, which was a plus as I was with my family.

Six months passed since my family and I moved from Bridge City, and for good reason.

After the whoreshit I’d put them through, a low key City within the Antillean Federation was the best choice for us, Especially when I had a duty to fulfil, I thought bitterly

Not like I didn’t have other problems to handle. But family came first. Always.

As Shin-Lee, Hannah and I roamed the amusement park for hours. Well, Hannah and I roamed, mostly whilst Shin-Lee followed.

The six months we spent together have been the most time we all three have spent together in the past two years.

It wasn’t something I was proud of, but it was something I appreciated, especially with what today meant for Hannah.

The rides Shin-Lee joined us on were subtle, and scenic, the various rides were complicated due to the amusement park being so close to the river.

I still remember when Shin-Lee first laid eyes on a Ferris wheel, the wonder and how bright they beamed made me feel happy.

Shin-Lee was never one to smile because of how hard her life was in the Latrina Empire, so seeing her smile like that confirmed that I did make the right decision in taking her with me.

My eyes drifted to her, but instead of a smile, her nostrils were flared, whilst her eyebrows were knitted, making her seem as though she had a permanent scowl. I need to fix this, I thought, but how?

My wife wasn’t angry with me, but she was angry with me. The job I had to do for Mr Black would separate us for a month at the latest, but it would also force me back into the Waste. Someplace we both hated.

No matter how much I tried to explain my predicament she didn’t care. “Let’s just leave we don’t have to live here, we can live in the waste…We’ve seen it!” She would say.

She was right but knowing Mr Black, he could track me down. Hell, I even think he’d hurt them, just to send me a message and that was something I wasn’t willing to gamble on.

“Daddy, pay attention you’re missing!” Hannah shouted. I blinked twice, noticing I’d missed the bullseye twice with wayward throws at the digital dartboard.

I smiled at Hannah trying to reassure her, but she pouted in return. “Come on Hannah, give daddy a break.”

“No! You promised I can have a new teddy bear!”

“…but I’m getting you something else.”

“Not with that aim!”

The crowd chuckled a laugh around me, forcing goosebumps to ripple throughout my body from the shame.

I turned and eyed all of them nodding and apologising for the show, but Hannah wasn’t interested.

Shin-Lee, who stood next to me was silent and swaying from left to right as if she was trying to calm herself from the crowd.

She never was a fan of crowds, but that was because Bridge City was densely populated and could trigger a panic attack, not that she ever did, but the doctor said it was possible.

I sidestepped and nudged her on the shoulder. She smiled at my attempt because she knew full well what I’d ask for. “Blow on it for luck,” I said winking.

Shin-Lee’s eyes widened from surprise but quickly returned to normal, which ended with her still smiling.

She stepped towards me sighing and all, but kissed me on the cheek nonetheless. My hand automatically moved in front of Hannah’s eyes, blocking her eyesight, but then Shin-Lee whispered something into my ear “I’m fine,” She said, “Stop worrying. Hannah’s noticing how on the edge you are. Just give Hannah some time with you before you leave.”

OUCH…that stung.

My heart sank the moment she said ‘before’ because I know where she was stirring my thoughts.

Instead of replying with a smart retort. I nodded and caressed her waist ensuring I stroked the lower section of her back, then pulled her in for a kiss.

The soft lusciousness of her lips made my tongue water as she slid her tongue into my mouth. She bit my bottom lip gently, then pushed me off, knowing how excited I’d get when she bit me, quelling the passion I was ready to indulge in.

As I calmed myself, I looked around seeing everyone’s gazes, some women laughed, whilst a few men gave me a thumbs up. “Apologies everyone. The shows over.”

I turned to Hannah whose lips were forever pouting with her hand on her kimber as she looked up at me. “Which prize do you want?” I asked her.

“Any!” She said, and I obliged.

The multicolour bullseye pulsed in the background above an array of toys. The toys were separated into three shelves.

The bottom shelf, which was marked bronze prizes had stuffed animals, whilst the second shelf, which happened to be where the silver prizes were kept, held digital pads of various sizes and designs.

The top shelf also known as the gold shelf, held stacks of redeemable tickets printed on gold paper and with a yellow stripe coming down the middle.

The digital dartboard swayed around the stall, at different speeds trying to fool me, as I took aim. I guided my hand, trying to keep it in front of the target, and the moment I was about to lose the dart it change direction. Bastard.

“How many times do I have to hit the bullseye for the gold packets?” I asked the stall owner.

“Five out of five times. You’ve missed two thus far.”

“So three out of five, I get the silver packets?”

“Yes sir, that’s correct.”

“Understood.”

The digital bullseyes began swaying from left to right and ascended and descended at varying angles. It was hard enough to hit bullseyes standing still, but one that moved? It was annoying at best.

I loosed the dart with the flick of my wrist, hitting the bullseye. “The vendor smiled and gave a soft slap.”

I then hit a second bullseye, which made everyone clap behind me and my last shot hit the final bullseye without much effort. “Just needed to figure out the pattern and speed,” I said, rolling my neck.

Hannah screamed in excitement, jumping up and down then running to me and holding my waist tightly. Damn…she’s getting so big I thought, rubbing her hair. Just a few months ago, she was holding my thighs, now the waist eh?

The vendor sauntered off to the top shelf, pulling a golden packet free then handed it to me. I let my eyes drift to Hannah, whose hands were held out as she awaited her prize.

The vendor obliged and I hoisted Hannah in the air, kissing her on the cheek, holding her whilst she held her small bear. “Happy Birthday baby girl!” I said softly. “Do you like your present?”

“No, I want that one!” She said complaining whilst she pointed at the large rabbit stuffed toy.

I turned to Shin-Lee, who eyed me and then smiled wryly. “Hannah, you can’t get everything you want alright?”

“You Promised!”

“I did, but not today, alright?”

Hannah pouted and flared her nose, looking at her mother, but Shin-Lee didn’t say anything and completely ignored her.

I placed Hannah across my shoulders, as she held her new stuffed toy. I took a look at the giant stuffed toy once more and shook my head. “Next time Hannah, I promise, alright?”

My little girl didn’t answer, but I couldn’t afford to worry about that, especially with me leaving soon. Keeping her happy was paramount, and with her birthday being today, I have no idea she’d react when I leave in a few days.

Castrian wasn’t as beautiful as Bridge City at this height, but it was close enough. The City has far fewer Skyscrapers at least ten times less and rightfully so, in essence.

Castrian was a Farming City, just like the North-West Sector of Bridge City. Well, no, that’s not right. The North-West Sector of Bridge City was modelled off of Castrian.

I couldn’t say it was a successful model in comparison to Castrian because the Farm City was a rare sight within Antillean Federation, but I could see its efficacy, as it produced 75% of Bridge City’s produce. The North-West Sector of Bridge City produced 40% of the food within Bridge City, which led Castrian to provide the rest.

In the distance, thousands of acres lay before my family and me showing fields of various crops as far as the eye could see if it were daytime. In between those fields, were pockets of villages with lights blinking intermittently and pleasantly so, like dragonflies in the night.

It didn’t take my breath away, but it provided a subtleness that made me feel welcome. A calmness drained Hannah of her energy, forcing her to fall asleep in my lap as the Ferris wheel churned.

As we were on our fifth churn, I could say without a doubt, that this was the most peaceful moment Shin-Lee and I spent together in the nine years that I have known her.

On the sixth churn, I tried to lift Hannah so we could take her home, but Shin-Lee didn’t want to leave and I understood why.

The way she looked on in the distance I could feel the sadness that was creeping into her heart. A sadness I wanted to replace with my love.

I turned to her, looking at her in the eye, seeing her small nose and thin lips. She smiled, then brushed her hair to the side whilst biting her bottom lip. God, I love this woman I thought, then I kissed her on her forehead.

Shin-Lee placed her hand on top of my own, warming it instantly. She turned to me, and I felt the world freeze because I knew exactly what she was going to say. “Do you remember the first time you took me on one of these things?” She asked.

“Of Course, was it 839 A.I.? The first day after your first check-up.”

“You remembered.” She said with a laugh.

“Of course, it was one of the best days of my life, watching her eyes light up like that.”

“Do they still light up like that?”

“On a rare occasion, I can’t say when last I saw that smile.”

“Humph…I guess you do pay attention, despite how uninterested you try to come off as.”

“…and you know full well I pay attention Shin-Lee.”

“Maybe.”

Shin-Lee squeezed my hand and then shook it. I looked down at the finger that was severed and tried my best not to stroke it. It was gone…cut, but that bastard Akatani.

“It still hurt..at times,” Shin-Lee said, noticing my gaze. I placed my hand around her and felt her head caress my shoulder as she buried her head into my chest. “I still remember everything he told me Kaiden. He’ll stab Hannah in front of me if I don’t behave. He’ll blow your head off I spoke two words. I remember everything.”

She began to sob, holding me tightly as the tears flowed from her eyes. I held onto her tightly and embraced her as if it were the last time I was going to see her. It made me bitter, angry and most of all…a failure.

I brought Shin-Lee here for a better life but only succeeded in filling her with hurt, pain and most of all disappointment. She didn’t sign up for this, despite knowing the life I lived, yet, she still stuck by me.

“He’s dead,” I whispered. “He’ll never hurt you again, none of them will.”

All of this happened because I trusted the wrong man. Gonzada. Akatani and he were both dead, but their scars, are what I have to live with for the rest of my life, but worst of all. I don’t know how this is affecting Hannah.

At times she seems so happy, then she seems so sad, absentminded at her worst. We’ve been taking her to therapy, but the doctors said, she might be dissociative memories, forcing the badman out of her mind, only keeping the good ones.

I didn’t know how I felt about it, but Shin-Lee and I ensured to monitor her closely, but still tried to make everything around us normal. Deep down though, we know nothing was normal, but we damn well tried to make it seem that way…at least.