Chapter 39

Boggo the Blue Bestie

Thrush

I was curious why Hawkin was so quiet today. Though these woods were being punished by a violent winter storm, that couldn’t have been the reason why. The temperature had dropped to a bone chilling freeze. But that wasn’t what seemed to have bothered him either. His beers were coming along, so that wasn’t it. When he lifted a tattered sack to find his onions gone, he cursed under his breath and ran a hand over his face. I figured it was the Blue Besties that were really starting to bother him.

I descended to the cellar and plopped a big chunk of thickly smoked tuna right in the middle of the space. It was one of my best smokes so far. The fish was still juicy. The bark of the smoke was like that of an oak; thick and jagged. It was all I could do to keep from drooling.

Then I waited for these Blue Besties. Baited them with the best smoked fish within leagues of Hawkin’s cabin. I was prepared to pounce.

I waited with eternal patience. Unblinking. Unmoving. Watching. Listening.

I heard them very well. Always did from the cabin. My ears would switch back and look for them before I even realized what I was hearing. If it wasn’t their tip-tapping little feet, then it was their hushed voices that I heard, and the wafting smell of smoked tuna drove them wild. Their volume grew when Hawkin had gone to sleep. When they stepped from one of the tunnels, I could discern their low conversation.

“Ooh la la!”

“You see it? You see it? I told you! I told you!”

“Oh ho ho—That’s gonna fit square in my belly.”

“We’re splitting that evenly.”

“First one to grab it!”

“That’s gonna be me then. I’m gonna fatten up so much that I’ll be rolling heels-over-head.”

“We’re sharing!”

“Shhh!”

“You shh!!”

“I’ve never smelled something so juicy!”

“Juicy, juicy, juicy!”

“What is it?”

“Fish. What do you think it smells like?”

“I smell the bear thing.”

“He was here. A while ago.”

With all paws on the ground, I shifted from foot to foot. I wiggled. Then I pounced, eyes first. They heard me and scrambled to run, dropping terrified shrieks. One of them greedily dug their little paws into the fish and pulled apart a nice chunk. Then he turned to flee with his comrades, but I caught him. Pinned him down beneath a smear of tuna. The Blue Bestie shrieked and trembled. He bit my paws with six incisors that drew out enough blood to soak the creature from head to tail.

“You cannot hurt me, little Bestie,” I said.

My words went unheeded, and the creature fought for its life. I held him tight without squeezing. I watched him struggle for half an hour until he ran out of energy. He eventually relaxed in my paw and I held him up by the scruff of his neck.

“Hello. I’m Thrush,” I said.

“Please,” the Blue Bestie said. “Let me go. I’m too young to go. Not like this, not like this!”

“What’s your name?”

“Boggo. Boggo Ugo Oggo. What do you want from me? Is that your fish? I’m sorry! I’ll never touch it again. I swear. I’ll give you whatever you want! I’ve got seeds and roots! Lots of roots! Warm-warm roots! I’ve got leather! I’ve got—I’ve got rocks and crystals, I’ve got food and books. I’ve got Warm-warm roots, did I say that already? Have you ever had Warm-warm roots?”

“You have these things?”

“Y-yes. If you’ll let me, I’ll go get them. I’ll bring them back—I SWEAR!”

“You’ll just give them to me?”

“Yes! I swear!”

“No,” I said, and Boggo started to break down, little droplets of water beading at the corners of his beady eyes.

“Oh no, no, no! Not like this. Please, Thrush. Good Thrush. Fair Thrush. I don’t want to go like this.”

“I don’t want you to give me these things. I want to barter with you for them. I won’t eat you if you barter with me.”

“I’m offering them for free!’ Boggo said. “Free!”

“Thank you, no,” I said. “I think we should sit down to bargain. I’ll share the rest of this fish with you while we talk.”

Boggo looked at me with a gloss in his eyes. Eyes that understood there was nothing else to do but play by my rules and bargain. He agreed and I let him go. The Blue Bestie tried to run as fast as he could, but I was faster. He tried to escape four more times until it sank in that I wouldn’t let him leave and I meant him no harm. After his first bite of smoked tuna, his tune changed.

“Oh now that’s good,” he said, finishing another bite. “I don’t get it, and I have to know. I offered you free stuff, but you don’t want it. You’d rather bargain with me—for the same things I’m offering up for free. Without cost. No strings attached.”

“I want to practice bartering. You’re going to help me.”

“That’s all you want from me?”

“There is another thing. I need all of you and your family to stop eating Hawkin’s food.”

“...but he’s got the good stuff. We live off roots and insects. Do you know how nice it is to eat something besides roots and insects?”

“I’ve eaten dirt and insects.”

“This isn’t some sick cat and mouse play, is it?” Boggo said.

“Here’s my first offer. The longer you and your family refrain from eating Hawkin’s food, I won’t chase you down and eat you.”

Boggo gulped. “Ok,” he said in a small voice.

“No, no, no,” I said. “We have to barter. Say: ‘No way, Thrush monster. I want smoked fish in exchange. Then we have a deal.”

Boggo blinked several times. He looked me dead in the face and repeated, “No way… …Thrush monster… I want smoked fish in exchange? Then we have a deal?”

“Hm,” I said thoughtfully. “You drive a hard bargain. Are you telling me you want me to catch even more fish than I already do? Then spend my time smoking more fish? Just to give you and all the Blue Besties some for not stealing my friend’s food?”

Boggo blanched and his blue squirrel ears flattened. He wrung his hands over his pear shaped belly.

“Boggo,” I whispered as I leaned closer to him. “Say yes.”

“Yes?” he squeaked.

“Excellent!” I said. “Now let’s move on to the other things we can barter.”

“This is nuts,” Boggo said. “You’re nuts, you know that? Is this what you want? You don’t want to eat me? You just want us to stop eating your friend’s food? You just want to barter with me?”

“It’s as simple as that.”

A little bit of courage seemed to well up in the creature and bolster him.

“How about we play a little game,” Boggo said. “I’ll come right back with some… treasures.”

“Fine by me. I’ll be right here.”

Boggo took a few steps backwards, then he turned to sprint off. Just as he reached a hole in the wall, I said, “Just so you know, Boggo, I dug this cellar in less than an hour. I hear everything. Don’t make me chase you.”

Boggo laughed nervously.

“I-I promise I’ll be back,” he said. “I’ll be faster than water rolling off a Blue’s coat.”

Then he popped off into a tunnel.