《Protagonist: The Whims of Gods》Chapter 106: Of Course She Knew
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Outside of seeing Barb bleeding out on the forest floor, at least at the beginning, coming back to Emer’Thalis was (thankfully) not all that wild. After chatting further with Jason, my first stop was back to the small outpost of shadows to get my tent set up again.
Only, it wasn’t really a small outpost anymore.
“Hell, this is starting to look like an actual village.”
The infrequent smattering of tents had transformed into the hustle and bustle of a small settlement in my absence. God’s Mind perked up, allowing me to match the faces of the newcomers to shadows I’d seen in passing back when I’d first arrived on this world. Didn’t mean I actually knew their names — save for the few that I’d traveled with or met during the celebration for Hartha, I wasn’t the closest with them — but it was still a pleasant familiar feeling.
After a few questions to whichever faces looked the friendliest, I was able to track down Amak, who was — miraculously — just in his tent, not working. Perhaps already accustomed to the strangeness of my life, despite no forewarning, he didn’t appear surprised to see me when he emerged.
“Protagonist. Welcome back. I trust your travels have been good to you. Allow me to update you.” He beckoned me to follow, somehow managing not to look even a tiny bit annoyed that his free time had been interrupted. Whether that was because he truly wasn’t bothered or because he was a great actor, I wasn’t sure.
Sorry Amak. I trailed behind him a step as we walked through the forest.
“You haven’t been gone for quite long enough for anything truly notable to happen. I’m sure you’ve already seen how far the new settlement for my people has come along. Mostly, then, the key matters are food — as planned, I was able to purchase a few settlement perks to make it easier for us to hunt in the forest. Additionally, we’ve started a vegetable ‘garden’ of sorts.”
He inflected right as he said the word “garden” in a way that gave me pause, and I was about to ask for clarification. As it turned out, however, I hardly needed it. We broke into a clearing — or what would have been a clearing — which was packed with herbs and vegetation. They grew chaotically, no semblance of crop lines or planning, but even so, it was a wealth of edible food. Squashes and peppers dotted the earth, and I could see a few sections that had been dug up, revealing tuberous plants hiding underground.
“Does this even qualify as a garden? What happened here?” Amak generally struck me as more methodical than this.
“Mmm. The soil outside the forest is still fairly infertile right now, and inside the forest, if we want things to grow at quickened paces, we need to rely on Dryad Elphaea’s magic. Hers is a wilder magic — not well suited for something more orderly than this.”
Bizarre, but at least it was working out? The food while I’d been in Emer’Thalis had never been too bad, but enough nights of spider meat stew was a bit draining. Any efforts at broadening the menu were a plus.
“Come, and we’ll take a look at the other major update. Also food related.”
I followed once more, deciding to forgo any questions and let myself be surprised. In a matter of minutes, we were out of the forest and into the main housing area.
If we keep expanding, we need a catchier name. Emer’Thalis Central. Main District. Ugh. Not my forte. I made a mental note to outsource all naming decisions.
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Soon we came across the bones of a structure that hadn’t been there when I’d left. A number of builders were hard at work, rapidly transforming it into a full building. One particularly familiar face stood out.
“Oi! That you? You come to help out?” Spotting me, Tuk separated himself from the rest of the builders, all too eager to rope me into more construction work.
With a bow, Amak angled himself back to the forest. “I trust Tuk can update you more fully on the state of our building infrastructure. If you’re leaving again, we should talk more on minor details before you go, but that’s all I have for now.”
With that, he departed, leaving me with the man who was eyeing me like his favorite and most shiny toy had just unexpectedly been served up to him.
“Whatcha been up to, hmm? Why don’t I give you some updates, and then you can tell me about it while you help us out?” He hit me full force with a disconcerting mixture of puppy dog eyes and a vicious grin, and it was with a sigh that I let myself get pulled towards the uncompleted building.
Much as planned, Tuk had started up work on a storage building. Mainly, it would be for food. The ice enchantments hadn’t been put in yet, but once everything was done, we’d have a working fridge and freezer building, letting us plan further ahead.
After working for a few hours on the storage building — hopefully enough for my Lead from the Ground to activate and give a bonus to the building quality — I’d begged off.
Instead of building, presently I was seated in front of a relatively flat piece of rubble, taking a sip from a perfect porcelain cup. Across from me sat a reedy, mustached man.
I’d ended up tracking down Barb, happy to find him hale and healthy this time around, and not engaged in any sort of epic showdown with Elphaea.
“So,” he hummed, “tell me. How has the city of my birth been treating you, oh daughter of mine?” He was unable to keep the glint of amusement from his eyes as he said it, humphing a chuckle out into his tea.
I launched into as full a retelling of my last few weeks as I could, pausing for the occasional question and interjection. Full on laughter for my bar brawl mishap. Lips pursed so tightly, they’d been completely replaced by his mustache when I spoke of Warram and his Law’s Embrace. A tall face with lips curled into an O when I detailed my apprenticeship with the archmage, and then once again when I recounted my conversation with Lady Verin. And just like that, it was over.
“Lady Verin! Ah, to think the youngin’s grown all the way up to Academy age. I’ll have you know she used to despise the taste of tea when I first met her, though you didn’t hear that from me. If I was ever at an event with her, she’d have me sneak her some warm milk or even some juice so she could still feel like she was taking part.” Barb absentmindedly stroked at his stache while looking past me, lost in past reflection.
“As for you, however! Do you know what classes you’ll be taking, then? Perhaps I can give you some pointers. If I were to guess, that father of mine has likely told you next to nothing. If he tells you he ‘forgot’, don’t believe a word. Just likes to see people scramble.”
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Probably have the foremost expert on most things Sylum-related here. Might as well take advantage of his knowledge if he’ll let me. He was right, too. Suds — and by extension, Markus — had told me next to nothing about what I could expect at this “academy” of theirs.
“I don’t really know? I think at the ball, he told the Chamber Head of Adventure that I’d be taking some ‘dungeon delving’ class. Plus the head of Diplomacy tried roping me into some class about ending the war — which, apparently there’s a war, so that’s great. Outside that, I’m not actually sure. Suds said he’s trying to use me as an inroads between the Chamber of Commons and the Chamber of Adventure more than anything else.” I didn’t even know how many classes I’d be taking, or if I’d be allowed to choose some of them for myself.
Damn. I really have to get better about pinning Suds down and making him answer my questions. A go-with-the-flow mentality had done wonders for me so far, but as always, there were limits.
“Ah, then it’ll be a lot of fighting. Weapons classes. Dungeon delving. Probably Dueling I -- or whatever they’re calling it these days. I imagine he’ll set you up with some professional classes as well — based on your story, he’ll likely have you partner with one of the trade schools to learn how to be a miner at some point.”
I spent a moment trying to detect any hint of deceit from the wrinkled barber, but found none. I groaned. Guess he wasn’t kidding about that one. Time to learn how to mine?
Well, whatever. The more skills the merrier. I could hardly see myself settling down into the mining life, but if nothing else, it’d be a new experience. Certainly not something I would have done back on Earth.
“I confess, I am a tad worried for you, however. Most of your peers will have waited until very recently to choose their classes — even after hitting level 10, most people who plan to live for a long time will put off class selection for a number of years to unlock better classes. It’s also generally frowned upon to level too high before reaching 20 years old — with Constitution’s age-slowing effects, that can mean spending sometimes twice as long stuck as a teenager. All that means you won’t be too far behind them in terms of levels, but you can still expect them to be closer to level 15, and with dozens more class points than you have.”
I groaned, but then stopped myself. That’s mostly good, isn’t it? I guess I sort of knew this from meeting people at the ball, but it sounds like everyone will be around my age, and only a few levels ahead of me. Still, they’d pretty much universally be stronger than me in everything but raw stats.
Probably have tons of stats on Warram, and all he needs to do to beat me is activate one skill. Evidently, not all Epic classes were built equal, or perhaps he’d just gotten much farther into his class space than I had.
“It should be mostly fine, right? I’m not trying to get into fights with everyone or anything. So I’ll be a bit weaker. That’s not a huge deal.”
At this, Barb let out a very emphatic hmmmmmm. “Perhaps,” he followed up. “But if you’re in fighting-based classes, then I believe you will be getting into fights with everyone. Quite frequently, in fact.”
This time, I groaned without bothering to stop myself.
“Any advice?” Maybe there was some big secret for getting through magic college that Barb could help me out with. I’d take whatever I could.
“Well… have you considered, perhaps, running your own dungeon? The experience would do you well, no? I’m aware your last experience with the dungeon was… less than ideal, but I’ve had a chance to run it twice at this point, and you would be a great help to most parties, mine included.”
I reflexively shuddered at the thought of willingly delving into the darkness dungeon again, though thankfully Trauma Suppression dulled the reaction past that. It hadn’t even been that long. Did I really want to go back?
Actually, more importantly, would it even be safe to? I’d only fought one room of the dungeon monsters last time around, and it had taken Hartha changing her class to save all our asses. I wasn’t set up well to fight shades.
Before I could decline, Barb continued on, perhaps sensing my hesitance. “Now that everyone is familiar with what’s inside, groups have prepared accordingly. All parties have ways to damage incorporeal, darkness-based enemies. You’d mostly just need to scout out traps like you did back in Drawgin, and perhaps lend a hand with healing or a bit of damage here and there. Seems a shame to have such a valuable resource and not make use of it.”
Euch. When he put it that way, I at least had to consider it.
“Isn’t there some sort of strict schedule though? I’m only here for three days.” I doubted I’d be able to get myself slotted into the rotation that quickly.
Barb shot me a sheepish grin. “Ah… well, perhaps this is a touch selfish on my part, but father only allowed me to stay here in Emer’Thalis on the expectation that I’d be leveling fast enough. Elphaea was a big part of that, but… I would not mind per se if you told Carpin that you needed an impromptu run with us as the settlement owner. You are, after all, the settlement owner, if you recall.”
Oh, right. That was me.
“I guess… I’ll think about it? No promises.” Part of the reason I wanted training was to level up without all the danger that came with dungeons, but if Barb was sure it would be relatively safe for me, it might be worth it.
We continued to chat for a time, and I scored a few good restaurant, bar, and cafe recommendations from Barb as well. I grilled him a bit on how his “book club” of sorts was going with Hive Queen Ava — evidently not too book-related, as he still hadn’t figured out it was smut, but apparently he was picking up Old Common rapidly.
As the sun began to set, however, it was time for us to say our farewells for the day. My stomach grumbling let me know it was time for me to grab a bit of dinner, and Barb apparently had other obligations to meet up with Kex and Jason. I left him with many thoughts on my mind, some Sylum-related, others about the dungeon. On top of those, one thought stuck out more than the others.
Of all the people that I’d be made to pretend to be the daughter of, he ranks pretty high, I think.
With that thought, I said my goodbyes and went off to find some dinner.
Dinner was a more pleasant affair than usual, if for no other reason than the food was better. The shadows’ cooking was always well-seasoned, on account of their prodigious use of local herbs, but whatever peppers they were growing in the new garden amped things up a few notches.
Don’t actually know if peppers are supposed to grow in forests, but then again, magic.
After eating my fill, I sat on one of the many cut-in-half darkwood logs that served as the area’s seating, trying to figure out if there was anything else that I needed to get done immediately.
Before I could get too far in that thought process, however, I saw a familiar face, along with a number of unfamiliar faces.
Off to the side, plopped down onto the ground, was Hive Queen Aval’kethrid. She had a bowl of stew sitting off to her side, but her main focus was on what appeared to be a large clay vase which sat in front of her. She delicately clawed and scratched at its surface, and I could detect a faint bit of mana leaving her claws as she did so. Earth, and… mental mana?
Next to her sat Edgar, silently watching her work. That was largely unsurprising to me — I’d yet to see the two apart.
What did surprise me, however, was that next to them were a fair number of other kexids. In the back of my mind, I’d known that more of them would be arriving in the city while I was gone, but it was the first real sign I’d seen of their migration.
Hope they’re settling in okay. Must be pretty weird not being able to speak with anyone, although one of them was supposed to have some sort of translation skill? Still. Should probably say hi. See how everything’s going.
With that in mind, I neared the bunch, examining Ava’s vase as I got closer. It was largely smooth and unadorned, but what little of it had been decorated was mind-bogglingly intricate. Little etchings of kexids ringed the vase’s exterior, each performing some different action, all with a stunning level of detail.
As Ava’s claw moved over the vase, mana flowed into the clay and more of the design was revealed at a glacial pace. While it almost seemed as though she were physically carving into the hard clay with her claw tip, I could now tell that whatever she was doing with earth mana was somehow performing her work far more precisely than even the steadiest of hands ever would.
Actually feel kind of bad interrupting whatever’s going on here. Maybe I should just…
Oop. Too late. A number of the kexids caught sight of me approaching, Edgar included, and the small kexid gently tugged on his queen’s arm. Ava appeared confused for a moment, as if snapping out of a trance, but once she turned my way, her usual animated demeanor came back in full force.
“Oh, Edgar! It’s her again! Hello dearie! It’s been some time, has it not? That lovely barber friend of yours said you were visiting his birthplace, yes? A good thing, that. Always nice to get some traveling in.”
Some of the instant guilt I felt at pulling her from the vase was washed away by her cheery tone. “Hi Ava. Yup, got a bit of traveling done. Actually headed back there pretty soon, but I wanted to check in on everything. How are things on your end? Looks like there are more kexids here. You end up, uh… digging down into Kesser’Thalis?”
I’ve been gone for a pretty decent amount of time, and there’s tons of other kexids here now. Someone’s explained to her what’s happening, right? When last I’d spoken with her, Ava had still seemed unable to grasp that her city was destroyed. Hopefully someone had sat down with her and cleared things up.
“Oh, things are wonderful, dearie. Wonderful. Never mind all of that boring logistical nonsense — have you seen any of our pottery yet?” As if knowing that I’d shake my head in response, she preemptively waggled a claw, beckoning me over. Obliging, I took a seat next to her, on the opposite side from Edgar, able to see the vase in perfect detail now.
“It’s beautiful,” I admitted. “Are kexids known for pottery, or is it just a hobby of yours? And how are you doing that with the design?” If it was all the result of some sort of Pottery skill, then it would have to be unbelievably high leveled.
Ava let out a continuous chitter, almost like a more consonant version of a cat’s purr. “Many of us dabble in a number of earth-related professions, dearie. Our ceramics and such have always been quite popular to trade with those on the surface. This one’s not for sale though — you wouldn’t believe it, but I couldn’t help but notice there’s still a fair number of us missing! Well, I thought I might pass the time by making a few vases for them — they’ll love to see themselves on a piece like this when they come back, I’m sure.”
My breath caught in my throat, and I found myself unable to even think up a response as I looked at the vase once more. It wasn’t just a meaningless design. Each one of the tiny kexids etched onto the surface… missing.
The images that Hex had shown me played in my head, for once my nearly perfect memory acting as a curse. Spears of light, boiling blood, friend turning on friend. I knew better than most what had happened to anyone who was currently… missing.
If that weren’t bad enough, already the figures were carved so small that countless of them wrapped around the upper portion of the vase. I stared down at the vast untouched expanse of clay, imagining it completely filled. I felt myself start to choke up.
And she said “vases.” Plural.
To add a final insult to the injury, my mind summoned up my fight with the kexids, back when I’d first ventured into the deadlands. I hadn’t known anything back then, and they’d attacked us. I’d killed one of them, back then. Stabbed it while it was in its strange trance, not paying attention.
I wonder if the kexid I killed is on there somewhere. Missing.
All at once, it was too much. Too much. I could feel the first signs of a panic attack coming on.
And then, before it could strike, blissful numbness. Trauma Suppression wrapped me up, calming me down. It took all my scattered thoughts and boxed them away. The entire process happened so quickly that no one even noticed.
She can’t be doing something like this without knowing, though. She can’t be… waiting on them like that. It’s wrong.
Not that I wanted to be the one to tell her. I was fairly allergic to confrontation of any sort. Still, the alternative would feel considerably worse to me. I finally found my voice again, though not entirely sure how to start.
“Um. Ava. I think… I mentioned when we met, that something bad had happened? To the city,” I began.
Not sensing the gravity to my words, Ava dismissively flicked a claw. “Yes, yes, your little story. Never mind that. Did I mention that I’m getting better at everyone’s muddled version of Common? Perhaps I’ll even be able to speak fluently in a month or two.”
Dismissed. All right. Let’s try again.
“That’s good. But, uh. I really think we should talk about the attack on the city. I feel like-”
A sharp clacking noise cut me off. “Dearie, it’s always lovely to chat with you, but I don’t have time for a full conversation right now. I’m ‘in the zone’ as they say, yes? Best get back to it while the inspiration is still there. Plus, my stew is getting cold. Still need to finish it. I look forward to talking with you sometime soon, hmm?”
My brows knit themselves together. Why is this so hard? Do I really have to spell it out? “Actually, I-”
A pressure gripped my arm, cold and smooth against my skin. I turned to find Edgar grabbing at me, staring. He stood abruptly and then tugged on me, jerking his head to the side.
But I- Wait. Does he know what’s going on? Certainly some of the kexids do, don’t they? If he doesn’t want me talking about this, maybe there’s a reason?
Opting to show a tiny bit of trust, I hesitantly got up and he led me away from the queen and the rest of the kexids. There, out of earshot, I tried to plead my case.
“You- You know what’s going on, right? I have to tell her.”
As best I could tell, Edgar was fully and truly mute. That didn’t stop him from slowly shaking his head from side to side.
“No? What do you mean no? I mean come on, I don’t even get how it’s been this long and no one’s told her. One of the other kexids should have figured it out by now. Or Barb would have mentioned it at your ‘book club.’ There’s basically no way she doesn’t already kn…”
Oh.
Oh.
There was basically no way she didn’t already know.
“... which is because she already knows.”
The short kexid bobbed his head up and down at my revelation.
Her overly cheery affect. Her steering the conversation away from the topic. Commemorating the dead in her artwork.
Of course she knew.
That didn’t mean she wanted to talk about it. After all, it was a lot easier to pretend something wasn’t true if you didn’t say it out loud. And while denial — even a superficial, surface level denial — wasn’t a healthy long term coping mechanism, it was a coping mechanism.
And here I was, a practical stranger, trying to force her to talk about it.
Maybe she did need to talk about it. But not right now. And despite my past profession, maybe not to me. She had her own support network. If she ever wanted, though…
I walked back towards the area where Ava sat and called out a goodbye. “I’ll head off then. Good luck finishing your vase. It’s already really stunning. And… uh, if you ever want to… chat about anything. Just know that I’m around and always happy to talk about whatever’s on your mind.”
She raised a claw without turning from her vase. “Of course, dearie. Of course.”
With that, I left her there, feeling heavy as I walked through the forest back to my tent. Once inside, I laid down and tried to distract myself by planning things out.
I’ve seen Jason. Barb. Amak and Tuk. For all that it was not what I was expecting or wanting it to be, I saw Ava. Don’t have anything super pressing I need to chat with Carpin or Rock about, but might be good to see them too. And then…
I sighed.
Yeah. Probably time to say hi to Nadja, huh?
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