《Dreamland》Chapter 123 – A Freak and a Coward on the Butcher's Table
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It did not take us long to arrive at Matt's home, and before the other boys came, we had time to empty the fridge and roast all the sausages and french fries. Maybe he imagined our first time alone at home differently, but I allowed Cala to annihilate those things as she pleased.
Carnage ensued.
Does Cala always eat like this? Like four to five human portions? Matt just watched me, surprised, while eating his mini part; I guess he thought I was famished, but to tell the truth, I was. I really felt that hunger.
Oh, well, I'll have to increase my budget for food...
When the boys arrived, we were drinking beer. There were some pickings for them, but they seemed to be happy with it.
I took a nap while they ate and made preparations, and then we started to make noise; however, I had a problem: I was never good at learning poetry. I can remember numbers or stories very well, but poetry? No. I tried my best, but we were talking about multiple songs. No way to learn all that in the short time I had. So I put it like this: either I use some cheat papers, or I'll start improvising.
Mike was totally against my improvisations, mainly because most of the verses were his creation, and my improvisations were not always top-notch, so we settled on cheat notes.
A good thing was that Flo had a photographic memory, which helped a lot, but she could not memorize all of them like this, so before singing a particular song, I needed to glance at the cheat notes.
We exercised a bit, putting us in the limelight and moving on the scene, to not be completely static, but in the end, Tom concluded that the boys should do less movement; they should leave it mostly to me. It looked better on all test recordings when they stopped monkeying around; besides, White Flower has her particular way of moving that drives not only male minds crazy.
So, the conclusion was that I'll move from one to the other and Tom and Matt should stay with their guitars and just sing. Anyhow Mike and Hew could not move with their instruments.
As the team's name was Fata Morgana, we decided I should wear a mask to increase a bit the mystery note. The dress was left to my imagination, what I loved.
We exercised until late in the night, but at a certain moment, I could no longer concentrate; I was too sleepy. Mrs Cutler, Matt's mother, or Kate as she introduced herself, but I still hesitated to call her, insisted on me not driving during the night but to stay and sleep there. I gladly accepted. She then prepared my bed, and I could finally sleep happily spread over the bed without fear while the boys continued for some time.
Life can be simple and rewarding, yet I dreaded the morning as I took my decision regarding the wings.
In the morning, the boys were gone, and Kate made breakfast for the three of us. I ate bravely only three eggs. She looked surprised and raised a brow when I said three. Really? I'm starving! In a moment of inattention, when she prepared the coffee, I skimmed another pair of sausages on my plate to Matt's amusement.
When I proposed to take Matt with me on my bike, she was against it. Now I understood why Matt did not even mention that he came with me from school. I almost made that argument when I saw his desperate look, so I stopped short of saying it.
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We left almost at the same time, but I lost them soon in the traffic, even if I was in no particular hurry. Fuck it, I am going to Gonzo to ask him to cut my wings.
Even thinking about it was turning my insides upside down, and yet I am going to do it. Why can't people accept me for how I am? WHY? I started to get used to my wings; it was such a boon to be able to fly like a bird in the sky! Oh yeah!
And the horns? They allowed for incredible mana manipulation that was manifold beneficial. For example, I had such a vision with them, a domain around me where I could see as far as my mana allowed through people, walls, trees, through everything. It is true that most of the time, I was not using it, afraid of being discovered, but in case of need, I could do it. I could see. Without my horns, it was as if my resolution would be reduced to four times four pixels. Yeah, pretty useless.
It pained my heart, but it was too dangerous. Thursday we had the performance in a probably crowded restaurant, Friday I planned to go with Joe to that concert, all places where a lot of voluntary and involuntarily touching might and will happen. I had enough trouble already with them; I knew it would not work; unfortunately, there was no place for wings and horns.
To my surprise, there were about five or six strangers in their garden who were looking curious at me. I did not know what to do, but I saw Helen between them, and she waved to me, calling my name.
As I parked my bike, she came hesitatingly to greet me, but then she came and kissed my cheek without daring to hug me.
I learned that the visitors were gamers, and later on, I even recognized a couple of them. They wanted to prepare a demo in support of the arrested gamers and were expecting more to come.
Uh, oh, not something I wanted to get myself involved in.
I took Gonzo to the side.
“Gonzo, can you spare half an hour? I need... an operation!”
At first, he did not understand. Then his eyes went round.
“Now? It is not possible; we expect a lot of people to come and...”
“When would you have time?”
“Uh, the whole week looks bad. Probably there will be gamers meeting here as they try to understand what happened and put pressure on the authorities to free the arrested guys. Can we postpone this for later? I guess not today or tomorrow, but maybe the day after tomorrow? I'll let you know when it is possible.”
Fuck, this is all I need. I already felt my resolve melting, but on the other side, I knew I'll get in trouble with my wings.
“Let's do it now, Gonzo!” - I sighed.
He sighed at his turn, watching my puppy eyes. He could not let me down.
“OK, bring your motorcycle to the workshop; I'll fix it now.” - he said with a nod, turning and heading towards the workshop. I went to take the bike and headed for the workshop under the aghast eyes of several people.
Helen, who heard the last sentence, looked surprised at him.
“But Gonzo, did you not say that you close the shop for the week?”
He shook his head.
“Dolores is a special case; this cannot wait. I'll be ready in half an hour.”
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I did not further listen to their conversation as I brought the bike inside the workshop. I pulled the big doors shut and eyed the workbench where I'll be butchered. Gonzo entered, and behind him, Helen.
“What's this?” - I wondered.
“She'll stay here and watch the door. We have Susan to take care of the others until we get back.”
"No, she should stay outside!" - I tried to protest
"Dolores, I cannot possibly ask her to leave." - said Gonzo while Helen raised a finger.
"Ahm, you two, I am here!" - she said while closing the door and pulling the lever to block it.
He took the electric sewer in his hands as her eyes went round.
I closed my eyes and sighed. What do I do?
“OK, enjoy the show.”
I dastardly dismissed the mirrors that were hiding my wings and horns and the fake blouse and placed my torso on the workbench spreading my wings high so that he could cut easier. The saw went fast and deep, surprising me. A pained moan escaped me.
Fuck, I was ready for the pain, I knew how bad it was, and still, it was so heavy that I started instantly to sweat, my heart went bumping like crazy, and my hands crushed the iron bar I was holding.
“One” - he counted while tears were flowing down my face - "Do you need a break?"
"Give me a piece of wood, something to bite, or I'll scream," - I whispered, breathing hard.
He gave me a hammer and wrapped the wood handle in cloth.
"Is this good so?"
"Yes, but you may need a new handle."
"It's ok." - he said
I took the handle in my mouth and nodded.
Thick blood was slowly dripping on my back. The sew engine sneered high tones, and my back cramped in expectation for the next cut.
I almost pissed myself; it was so bad. My hands and legs started shaking uncontrollably, and I struggled to stay stable on the workbench. He came around the bench.
“Two” - he said and then added in a low voice - “Now the hard part comes. Should I go on, or do you need a break?”
I nodded. I could not speak, so I only nodded.
“Are you sure you want these also gone?”
I nodded again, the hammer hitting the workbench.
I ended up twenty minutes later trembling and mute-crying in Helen's arms. So much for guarding the door. But after another five minutes of crying and, bit-by-bit healing, the pain subsisted, and I was again able to talk.
“Should we check what's with the people outside?” - asked Gonzo
“Let Susan organize them! She was very keen to take the initiative.” - answered Helen, then she turned to me - “Excuse my question, but what are you? Gonzo just tells me that you are a special girl and doesn't want to let me know more. Are you some kind of x-people? Alien?”
As she saw that I was hesitating, she added.
“It is not that I must know. I just need to understand how to behave with you. Now I understood why you didn't want me to hug you. Do you understand where I come from?”
I sighed.
“Look, Gonzo is right. I am a girl. A bit...” - I hesitated about what word to use.
“A girl with horns and wings?” - wondered Helen.
“Well, yes.”
"Aren't those called succubi? I... I... I don't know, but this is something that my brain has a problem grasping."
"Look, Helen, I did this to myself by mistake. It is no devilish work."
“You did this?” - she asked, surprised.
"Besides, succubi have a tail, too." - said Gonzo.
We both looked at him, and he shut his mouth. I turned to Helen.
“This is the consequence of a spell that went wrong... even if it did not really go wrong. Actually, it worked as intended but had some collaterals...”
“A spell? Collaterals? You can spell?”
I shrugged. I did not like the situation; I did not trust Helen to the level to open completely, but what could I do now? I was angry with Gonzo, but I also understood his action. Then I had an idea.
“It is not really me. It is this ring I got from the game. Ring of seven wishes. This is what the ring is called. After the previous Mephisto session, I had it on my finger. I don't know how it happened, but it was the same ring I had inside the game."
"This is linked with the game?" - wondered Helen, intrigued
"Yes," - I nodded - "and something like this may be the explanation for the raid on the zone."
"Oh. This may explain things. Would you come and talk with the others? Maybe we can even make a demo?"
"No. The ring has three wishes left. What I've seen that it does correctly is healing a person. It worked OK on me and also on you. With other wishes, you can get some unwanted results as these" - I pointed at the wings and horns on the floor - "I think something like this, on a much larger scale, happened in Bounty County. It has to do with the game, and that's why they raided the zone."
She watched me with round eyes and an open mouth. Gonzo, too, even if I think he already understood part of it. I gave her time to understand.
“I thought that the ecological catastrophe story was a canard!” - said Gonzo.
I nodded.
"You knew about this before? That's why you wanted to connect to the game?"
I did not like her accusatory tone.
"Yes. I wanted to try to recharge it or see if I get anything else."
"And?"
I shrugged,
"Nothing, this is what I have. Please don't talk about the ring with the others. I will not make a demo or let anybody have it."
"But if you did this to yourself by mistake, why did you not remove them with a wish?"
"All I achieved was to make them invisible for as long as I had the ring on my finger. It is like the story with the fae and the wish. I did not want to take further risks."
Even I was impressed by how fast and prompt that lie came from my mouth.
She sighed.
“Thank you again! Do you know what the army does with the people they arrested?” - she wondered.
“I don't know. Probably they check for artefacts or if they can cast spells or not. I would guess that the non-casters will be freed at some time. What should they do with them?”
It was a bit harder to say this lie, even if it was only a partial lie. I swallowed again.
"Spells? Casters?" - she wondered.
"Well, I consider this" - I showed the ring - "being magic." - I shrugged - "What would you call it if not casting magic? Who knows what happened in the county."
She took a deep breath:
“We plan to organize demonstrations and acts of protest until we have our friends freed. Will you join our movement? The more we are, the better we can make our voice heard!”
I looked her in the eyes and shook my head.
She did not take it gently and protested:
“But they were your friends? Would you not want other people to fight for your rights? To free you if they arrest you?”
“Look, Helen, I'm afraid of this shit. I don't want to get arrested, and I don't want to give away the option I have to heal my loved ones in case of need.”
“The more we are, the fewer chances are that we get arrested. We make lists and check on each other well being.”
I harrumphed. I don't want to be on their fucking lists.
“All of you, each and everyone, will get i.d.-ed and tracked. You understand that all your social media activity, all your emails all your chats will be scanned throughout. All your walks in the park or movements inside your own homes. All the cameras in your home or in town will track your every word, movement and gesture?”
She shrugged.
“Don't be paranoid. Don't they do this anyhow? We need to fight for our rights, and that goes only when we are together in it, else we will be all under it.”
“Yes, they do it, but I am not in focus. When you are in focus, the magnifying glasses are on you and every small gesture counts.”
She lost her patience with me.
“You're a freak and a coward! You should gather some courage and fight for people like you! My friends have been swatted and are unjustly held hostages. We need to have them freed, and you hide behind your finger!”
They are already dead.
I could not say that.
I sighed. That pained. A freak and a coward? I wanted to scream, but I swallowed down. She is right, I am a freak, and yes, I am too afraid to go to a fucking demo! At the last moment, before she left the workshop, Gonzo stopped her:
“You take that back! The freak healed you. Is that not enough courage for you?”
I was surprised to hear that from Gonzo. He spoke in a low and pained voice. I know how much that had cost him. He is crazy in love with her.
She stopped at the door and turned at Gonzo.
“Maybe she shouldn't have healed me, but I take that with the freak back; you are right.”
She left and slammed the door behind her. I watched him.
“Go Gonzo, go. I'll clean up the place here.”
“No.” - he said with a tired voice - “Let me help you.”
And if I tell him now that the gamers are dead? If I tell him that I ran out of that prison and that was the reason why they all had to die?
I started to cry again. Fuck. She is right; I am a freak and a coward.
Gonzo tried to hug me, but I pushed him away. I don't deserve to be consoled. I started to clean up the place, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. Nobody should see the butchery here and start asking questions.
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