"Tell me, Aylwin, will you hear a story?"

His serene stance stiffened. Rigid, he sat there, peering at me with terrific earnestness. I grazed his cheeks all the way down to his jawline. I started with his lips and found my way down to his throat. Pressing exactly at his Adam's apple, I relished the way he gulped. The vivid sensation of bobbing electrified my veins. Filling my insides with the mellifluous resonation of buzz.

I smiled. A pure, sickening smile. A vicious smile to let him know it was all going to come crashing down for me. My thumb pressed further till I felt the strength of his bone. My forefinger stroked the flesh of his skin. Smooth and sensuous.

He stayed quiet. He just gazed at me with his signature poker face. A sublime serenity, surfing on the shores of solitude.

I got up. Letting go of his solace. Drifting away from him. Because I knew there was no way in a million years I could tell him if I kept looking at him. I wouldn't be able to pull it off. A rather ridiculous thought to even ponder.

He's gonna hate you after this, Soph. He'll hate you. He won't even look at you.

Inhaling a sharp breath, I centered my gaze on the dark walls. Dark like us.

"So, here goes the fairytale. Once upon a time, there lived a happy family. They had a little girl with amazing parents and a wonderful big brother. She had it all and couldn't ask for anything more. " With that, began the peeling of my shells.

I glanced at him through my shoulder, smiling a smile of amusement. Amused at myself that it was finally happening. "But, like every fairytale, where comes the demon to the princess, my story has a teensy twist. Here, the princess was her own demon. "

Reminiscing on the times I felt like I could hardly remember; I lost myself within the walls of darkness. I stopped, contemplating where to go next. From which point to start? I wondered, I knew. So, whatever came next to my mind, my lips followed suit.

"It was a joyous day. Euphoric for her. And you know how kids are, enthralled with everything they're not told to do. Well, turns out I fall into that category. " I didn't know whether I made any sense at all. Most of the things even sounded absurd to me.

Perhaps due to the fact that it was the first time after eight years, I was actually talking about it. Well, opening the treasure of eight years was quite a tough task, if you ask me. Too tough to even decipher. However, I wasn't the least bit concerned about that fact. All I wanted was for him to seek his own answers in the mishmash of my absurd words.

"She was enjoying herself. Dancing and singing. When one moment she was soaring in the clouds of the sky, the very next moment she plummeted hard to the ground. " I smiled, thinking back on the vague events.

I faced him, chuckling darkly. "Her only mistake? You ask. " A deluge of resentment and remorse flooded through my words. Hawk-like eyes scrutinized my slightest move. Woven creases of worry and concern decked his forehead. A glassy glimmer in his eyes clearly reflected the same notion.

My smile faltered. Voice cracked slightly. Nonetheless, the words were compelled to spill forth and savor the delectable taste of freedom. "She overheard things she shouldn't have. That's it! And that one damn mistake, in one stroke, became the wellspring of her suffering. Her mistakes morphed into sins. Rendering her a sinner. " My tone switched again, picking up the pace. I raised my voice, feeling the scattered fragments creep back from the nooks and crannies to glue themselves back together.

Suddenly, a full-throated laugh escaped my mouth. "Oops! Did I miss the fun fact? Well, well, well, that li'l girl is none other than Sophronia Jasper. Interesting one, isn't it?" I walked towards him in slow strides, keeping a close eye on him. Trying to elicit even a smidgeon of his reaction.

I knelt down in front of him. My fingers poked at his racing heart, "This Sophronia, your Fresher, the girl you've nurtured in your heart, is the result of untold suffering. Result of... countless lives... One of them includes her own childhood. Her chuckles and giggles. Innocence and delicacy. She is the fruit of brutality."

If there was any such emotion that coupled rage, guilt, and shame, then, truth to say, I was a sufferer of that brutish feeling. I had another outburst.

Pull yourself together, Soph. You've got a tale to tell.

Realizing it, I pulled myself together, inhaling sharply. Where was I? What to say next? It was insane that I got quite that far. "Well, now mistakes part over. Wow, I made it this far. Not bad, Soph, not bad. " My slight chuckle at my achievement was nothing more than phony encouragement crap.

I clapped humorlessly, whirling around on my heels, the sardonic giggles not ceasing anytime soon. "But, but, but, the real series of agonies started after that. I don't remember much. Thanks to my young age. I have a handful of remnants. "

"I was never harmed there. Nope! Never! I was... tormented! Mentally! Emotionally! In every fucking way! "

It wasn't me narrating it anymore. It was the same ten-year-old child whose mind dwelt in rainbows and unicorns who was forced to endure a string of suffering for almost no apparent reason. It was her sufferings that these mere words were trying to portray from the start. She was taking over me.

And, of course, I was letting her.

If not today, then when?

She was even more broken than me. She had been through more than I had. Sophronia Jasper had reasons to live. She seized opportunities to encourage herself and strived to mold herself into a better version of herself. The ten-year-old, on the other hand, was an entirely different story. She was already dead. Never again would she be confronted by the passage of time. Never again would the past come knocking at her door. Even if it did, all they'd bring would be cracked bubbly layers encasing the sugary illusion within.

And thus, the child was finally awake.

For it was her who faced,

Tales were hers to tell.

She was the deity of

Beguiling baggage.

A beautiful reincarnation in the

Flesh of infinite hallucinations.

Sewing my tattered thoughts, I began again. However, this time, just anger and wrath radiated. "They'd leave me to starve for days and nights. In a dark room. I would lie on the tattered mat, lifeless as a tossed rag doll. To the point that I'd dig my nails or scratch to relieve my agitation. I'd bleed and lose myself in dizziness and nausea... Gee, seems like I have more than just a handful of remnants."

Tears begged me to let them go. To eagerly await their arrival and embrace them with glee. They waited at the frontier for the rescue. However, I steadfastly declined. Not so fast. Nah. Not so fast, at least. I had to hold off until the very end. And when it'd be all over, perhaps they'd be permitted to call upon the gracious skies.

"They had another fascinating way of abusing. By making you witness the real massacre. It was a slaughterhouse. A pure, fucking burn in hell place. I'd seen people losing their lives in front of my eyes. Begs, screams, cries—you name it. I've seen it all. Heard it all. However, did nothing to help them. " I didn't realize my back had hit the wall. I didn't realize I sat on the floor. I didn't realize my hands had clutched my knees, nails digging into my flesh. I didn't realize the shake of my body. I wondered if that was my never-ending rage, or... was everything still affecting me?

In a blink, he had me enveloped in his warmth. I sat cocooned within his arms. My ears rang with screams. I could feel my head spinning. On the verge of exploding. It would burst at any second. I shivered involuntarily. There was no control of mine over my body.

"Shhhh... Relax... Breathe. Breathe Sophronia. Breathe! " I could hear him speaking frantically. His voice, like morphine, worked miracles on my sufferings. He kept chanting. My gaze was firmly fixed on the floor. Lips quivering and fist clenched.

Hot. Too hot. A burning sensation crept up to my core. Sweat beads formed on my forehead. Sizzling and blistering heat scorched my flesh.

Suffocation. Pure suffocation had me in a strangle hold. It became hard to breathe. Hard to speak. Hard to even divert my gaze elsewhere. My eyes stung. It stung so much. A torrent of utter despair and tightness constricted my bosom. I could feel stinging electric shocks vibrating and prickling my chest.

Soon, wheezing sounds reverberated throughout the room. And it went on and on. Melodies followed melodies in a row. To the point, even my ears melted from the excruciating agony they carried.

"Sophronia! Sophronia! Hey, listen to me! Please look at me... look at me... Hey! Here, Sophronia! Look at me, goddammit! Oh fuck! Come to your senses! " I could feel his hands shaking me. I could feel his futile attempt to retrieve me. My eyes were still locked on the floor. I just, for some inexplicable reason, couldn't shift my gaze. I was still. Shivering. Quivering. And breathing rapidly.

"Jesus no! Please, no! For god's sake, look at me! " His hands rubbed on my cheeks, hands, and feet. His body seemed too warm in contrast to my freezing one. It felt nice. It felt like home.

He left my side. He was no longer there. I sensed him moving. Coldness engulfed me yet again. His footsteps blended with the inner voice of my demons.

A very loud noise of something shattering broke my trance. I flinched violently. A loud breathing sound followed. A rich amount of oxygen finally flooded my lungs, and I managed to breathe. My eyes finally moved. I looked up from the floor, then at him, then back to the floor.

Colorful crystalline shards lay shattered on the ground. Patterns of red and black twinkled in the dim light. However, it lacked the elegance that sparkled in those oceanic orbs. Vibrant drops filling the dry pools. They sat heavy and bloated on the blue rings. He bent slightly, rubbing his face and snuggling it between his palms for a couple of seconds. I remained silent, and only then did I realize my breathing was back to normal. Shivering, almost next to none. He wiped his eyes, ran his fingers through his hair, and exhaled sharply.

And the next moment, he held me again. However, this time he had something for me. "Take it." He gestured to another glass vase. I just stared at him out of bafflement.

"Take it, Sophronia." He emphasized. I slowly held it. My red, cold, pallid fingers clasped around the shimmering object, feeling inferior in comparison to their beauty.

"Throw it." He said, out of the blue.

I glanced at him, wide-eyed, unable to decipher his message. "Huh?"

"Just do it." His voice was low and defeated, with a hint of wavering, yet it still dominated.

And so I did.

I threw it. Another shattering noise resonated throughout the room. For a good few seconds, I just stared at the pieces. Something grew within me. A vaguely pleasant feeling. A revitalizing fluttery feeling.

Satisfaction. A satisfaction of destroying.

"Do it again." He handed me another object. And the process repeated itself within a short time. I suddenly realized what he was doing. Soon, I moved across the entire room, breaking down whatever my eyes could see. Years of bottled-up anguish resurfaced. Everything bubbled up: frustration, desperation, rage, pity, and remorse. And thus, I let it all out.

The tingling in my fingertips grew increasingly intense and ferocious. The necessity to get rid of the roots of poison inflamed me further in my psychotic act. I threw the frames. Glasses. Vases. The variety of objects that once adorned the room were now sprawled on the ground, broken. Just like me. They lay shattered on the ground into fragments that were much too small in comparison to my devastated form.

I ignored it and moved on to the next prey. This time, unfortunately, a firm hand grabbed me and firmly enclosed me. "It's done, Sophronia! It's done! You've let it all out. Stop now...." His words sank under the weight of my fury.

"No! Stop! Just leave me! I'm awful! I'm worse than that. " I pushed him away, trying to break free from his grip. I hurled another precious vase on the floor, seething with rage, and nothing felt more satisfying than its shattering sound. A very soothing noise.

"You know, Aylwin, whenever I stare in the mirror, these orbs remind me of the ones who lost their lives in front of my eyes. The punishment was mine, but who suffered? They! I-I-..."

Screaming louder and louder. Crying as much as I could. I hated the way things affected me. It wrecked me to know I was the sole reason for my misery. However, what devastated me the most was the fact that he had to witness everything. He had to witness my shitty past. My tormenting pieces. My broken self.

I tugged on my hair, frantically wiping my face with my palms. Looking anywhere but at him, whose red eyes had me mortified at my insane behavior. "The video... In that video, there's a couple... A very sweet, happy couple with their newborn. You know who they're!? They're Lily's parents! Yes, that adorable kid, who has already been through hell. And somewhere I feel like I'm to blame for it! "

Emotion after emotion poured forth. Through my eyes. Through my words. Through my gestures. And I was at a loss for words to relate to and describe any of them. My dilemma prevailed.

Sophronia! Shhh... Listen to me...."

"No! It-it... I-I..."

"I remember them. I-I remember their faces. I-I remember everything about that day. I saw their eyes rolling back. Bodies hitting the ground. Someone was dragging it away. I-I... Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh-oh... Ah-ah-ah... Huh!" Feebly, I exhaled. Inhaling a large bolus of air, I forced it down my throat to alleviate the knot of suffocation building up in my bosom.

In an instant, I was once again cloaked in his warmth. He embraced me fervently. His eyes bore wells of worry and hopelessness. His palms cupped my cheek, fingers wiping my eyes, and forehead resting on mine. Our breathing was heavy and labored. The sole sound resonating among the evergreen screams of stillness.

"Breathe... Breathe... Sophronia... Breathe... Deep breath... Do it with me..." My fingers curled themselves securely around him. Nails digging into his flesh. My hands didn't stop moving. Like nomads in search of their querencia, they strolled past his flesh. The coldness of my flesh craved warmth from him. It went on soaking.

"Here! Look into my eyes! Sophronia, hey, easy there! Breathe! Slowly, do it! Yes.. yes... keep doing it! " My hands gripped his shoulders briefly before retreating to his chest. When they were denied comfort there, they ventured on to his cheeks, cupping them, and then back to his chest, tightening their clutch on his fabric. Eventually, it settled there for the time being.

Red-rimmed eyes beheld my struggle as I fumbled for words to keep going. I opened my mouth, inhaled another giant bolus of air, and resumed. "When I was rescued from there after years of torment... I-I was on the verge of death. Battling for my life. I suffered from selective amnesia. Forgotten most of that phase, and... to be honest, I'm very grateful for it. So very grateful. Frequent concussions, forgetting things and hallucinations became my friends. To the point... I-I started to remain baffled as to what was real and what was a hallucination. "

I hiccupped. Pauses and stutters peppered my journey. Black and white images flashed in my head. Nothing, alas, I could reconcile.

"Hallucinations. Illusion... became my life. Years took me to differentiate between what's real and what's not. And amidst those times, d-don't k-know how many times I died a death of mercy and guilt. " My knees gave out. And the next thing I knew, we were both on the chilly floor, clutching one another. Yet the eyes had eyes hooked together. Glassy and unwavering.

Slowly, I untangled myself from him. Going back step by step. Until my back hit the wall. My head rested upon it. A very chilling sensation crawled up my spine, shuddering me and churning my insides sadistically. "But well, life waits for no one. And trust me, even after all this, it still didn't make any exceptions for me. Everything kept on happening. It took me years to finally get over it. I forgot most of the things. Only when I have nightmares does it trigger things. Otherwise, it's all normal for me. " I tried to put on a sad smile. An act of nonchalance. Phony and faux. Just like my hallucinations.

I closed my eyes and exhaled shakily. "Till today, I still haven't figured out those years of my life. My nightmares and hallucinations are just a glimpse of things that are either true or made up by my mind. I don't know. I just... don't. The foundation of my prior years was based on the beams of illusion. Mere illusion." Proclamations of defeat and dismay reigned supreme.

"Honestly, I don't even want to know. And I'm happy. I'm over it. " My voice was low. Too low. Almost a whisper. A rather robotic notion, but one with a grain of truth.

Finally, it was over. I did it. I finally did it. The tale was over. I felt naked in front of him. There were no more mysteries. No more agonizing past. I'd poured all that I had.

Peace. Relief. Liberty. A light-hearted tingling coiled around my chest. The weight had finally been lifted.

Yet, there remained a hollowness awaiting to be filled.

Whereas one thought had me sighing with relief, the next had my breath caught in my throat. I had made it. But what about him? How did he take it all? I didn't want to weigh him down with my baggage. A very gut-wrenching feeling of self-doubt had my chest tugging painfully.

"You hate me, don't you?" My eyes stayed rooted on the spot, tending to the shards of glass. The question was more or less just a voiced out imagery. My lips moved on their own. Monotonous and dead. That's what I felt. Or, at the very least, that's how I'd define myself.

"Never." He didn't miss a beat. A fluent reply. No hesitation. No wavering. No stutters. Just a word reply. Clear and loud.

My eyes betrayed the pristine floor, rising and latching onto them, which then possessed the pinnacle of calmness in them. However, behind that calmness lurked the murky sheath of watery ground. Blue mingling with their bloodline. Rain in the ocean.

"You don't hate me?" I found myself asking again, dubious of what I had heard. Wanting to confirm it once again. Wanting to witness the candor that his orbs mirrored in mine.

He was quick to act. Standing right in front of me. The distance between us evaporated in an instant. Hands cupping my cheeks. Fingers grazing my cheekbones. Then sensually sliding down to my jawline. The pleasurable torture did not end there. It advanced on to my quivering lips, tenderly tracing their contours precisely as I did his. It lingered for minuscule moments before taking off again. All the way down to my throat. Pressing my throat too tenderly, only for my breath to hitch. Compelling me to gulp down with fervor. His sensuous torment didn't stop there either. Thumb pressing further till I felt the familiar sensation of being choked, while his forefinger caressed the flesh of my skin. I let out a shaky exhale that sounded more like a muffled moan. The act ever so erotic.