Squiglepuse froze, gazing at the Agent, or perhaps it was Administrator Caliban, for long seconds.

“Odd to see Blue involving themselves in goblin affairs,” Squiglepuse said at last.

Caliban shrugged, before speaking in perfect Goblinoid. “We owe the humans here a favor. So long as a quick perusal of your shoddy excuse for a contract doesn’t waste too much of our time.”

The pugnacious head goblin snorted. “Our contract is a fine upstanding specimen of goblinoid legalese. Even red-penned to oblivion by paranoid fools, our masterwork is beyond reproach!”

Caliban snorted, sighed, and skimmed over the document like a man who wanted to do nothing more than to leave as fast as he could.

Eric, senses tingling as he searched for any sign, any cue from the man who hadn’t even addressed him, almost jumped when his conquest map popped up with incoming e-mail.

He ignored another dozen he sensed from his mother’s overflowing alliance box, despite the Urgent stipulations he had put in place, mentally glaring at the interface that sheepishly hid the guilt-inducing bulge her ‘super full!’ box was trying inspire, Eric forced to accept that there was at least a sliver of a price to pay for allowing a Sylvan template within his mental Interface.

But the map was priceless, and as long as his mother’s box did no more than bulge… he shook his head, focusing on what mattered.

The mental IM his business partner had just sent him.

C - How many traps did you spot?

E - 14.

C - I see you only accounted for 12. What about the other two?

E - Remember the bank concession? Tell me this doesn’t work in our favor!!

Caliban whistled aloud.

Eric’s eyes bulged, afraid his friend had just blown their cover.

“Impressive. Surrendering an entire heritage library for over half a billion credits. You’re robbing them blind… and they’re getting a priceless leg up no one else will ever give them. I’d say both of you are coming out ahead.” Caliban’s gaze narrowed. “But are you even authorized to surrender such a thing?”

“We are indeed!” Squiglepuse hastily assured. “Upon my capacity as chief Terran Administrator of the Goblinoid Faction! I am permitted to surrender up to three such libraries. Upon initiating full payment, we will release our choicest library in just two season’s time! That’s the heart of the entire agreement!”

Caliban raised a bemused brow, looking more like Spock than ever, Eric thought with an admiring grin. But he just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

“And I note, quite specifically, that this contract supersedes all other goblinoid contracts regarding all time frames, clauses, and penalties. You’re effectively forcing a time line on every other contract made within this city involving our human friends here.”

“Of course!” Administrator Squiglepuse said with a satisfied nod. “I merely exercise my seniority and weight to assure that my contract can be superseded by no other! Thus all other contracts will fall under our purview! Since we are talking about a serious investment in gold, our status as senior shareholders will allow our contract to supersede any other precedent!”

Caliban smirked. “In other words, it’s so that our human friends can hide no assets in prior commitments.”

“Exactly!” Squiglepuse gushed. “And of course full reciprocity is in play! Ha ha! Any of my competitors… I mean fellow noble goblin brothers and sisters, will also be expected to honor their commitments to our noble human friends. And should the humans find themselves surrendering their stakes… well, of course we will happily take those assets off our fellow brother and sisters’ hands. Simply for purposes of honoring our commitments, you understand.” The goblin couldn’t quite resist rubbing his hands at that point.

Caliban chuckled softly, speaking in Goblin once more. “So, if these humans fail to pay off their debt in the ten year time frame your contract lists, all other goblin contracts will automatically mature in six months time, meaning that instead of your brother and sister clans stringing these foolish humans along for years, you will claim all forfeited assets and all your competing clans will be forced to pay you everything they owe, in just half a year’s time.”

“Exactly!” Squiglepuse chuckled, even daring to wink Caliban’s way. “And it’s quite fair. Because of course, should our dear human friends honor their end of the deal, my goblin brothers and sisters will be paying them off in six months time. No stretching commitments for a hundred and fifty years, because foolish Terrans couldn’t be bothered to read a simple contract!”

All the goblins present snorted and hooted with laughter at that.

Grim flashed a cold glare, turning Eric’s way.

“Everything’s going according to plan. Trust me!” Eric whispered in his party interface with an impish smile.

Caliban sighed, turning to stare at Eric and his friends.

C - Are you sure?

E - Yes! Is everything ready?

By way of answer, Caliban turned back to glare at Squiglepuse. “I need you to co-initial every edit and change made. Then as far as I’m concerned, we’re done here.” He glared at the smirking Squiglepuse. “And you better not forget.”

The administrator was positively beaming. “I never forget a friendly face, my dear Blue!” he then turned to Lord Grim.

Eric did his best to suppress the shiver of apprehension he felt at Caliban’s too knowing smirk.

Putting so much faith in a man he hardly knew. A man who had just implied that he was going to leave Eric and his friends out to dry, in return for a future favor. And as much as he was sure that was part of his act… how did Eric know for certain that he wasn’t the one taking the bait... hook, line, and sinker? A certain cynical voice in the back of Eric’s mind wondered if he was being led to the gallows in the deluded belief that the executioner was his friend, and not the one pulling all their strings.

But no. He refused to believe that.

Not just because his business partner had always been up front and above board… even if he had allowed a full dozen other far less connected humans to fall prey to the damned goblins for the sake of further arrows in his own quiver… not only because he seemed to be genuinely intrigued by Eric’s business ideas, nor simply because he felt like there was a certain degree of mutual respect between them, but for the most important reason of all.

He needed Eric, and the capital he promised.

And Eric needed him as well.

If Blue Contracts meant anything, anything at all, then they would both come out ahead.

If not? If he was about to find himself betrayed and in chains?

Well, fuck it.

All bets were off, and orcs, Goblins, and Blue Corp would all be on his kill list.

It would be Murder Hobo time to the ultimate degree.

He’d paint the whole damned town in glorious shades of red.

“See how much I put up with?” Smirked a happily beaming Administrator Squiglepuse. “Even your unexpected signatory with his unexpected busy body of a counselor demand I make concessions. And look at how I initial all these addendums and clauses. Each and every one! And now I am done. And now it is time for you to sign as well!”

Eric took a deep breath, heart pounding as his blood sang with hymns of blood and battle.

He smiled too wide at the pale-faced goblins and was the first on his side of the table to sign the contract. With a drop of his own blood, gazing at the countenance of the Senior Administrator as he did so. And if Squiglepuse’s fanged maw stretched too wide in anticipation, rubbing his hands with glee, perhaps he was thrown off just the slightest bit when Eric’s smile stretched just as wide.

“Done and done,” Eric whispered, before turning to his friends with a wink and a smile. “You might not want to sign. It is a trap, after all,” he said, even as he passed quill and vellum back.

“Lies!” Screamed the closest goblin.

“Got him, hook line and sinker!” Squealed another in back before being smacked by a third, the others deathly silent, merely staring at the humans like a pack of hungry jackals. Because Eric would never credit them with the noble countenance of wolves.

“Then why did you sign?” Asked an amused-looking Grim, who didn’t hesitate to sign it himself.

“Because they have something that I want.”

“The library?”

Eric’s smile was all teeth. “Don’t kid yourself. There is no library.”

“Lies! Blasphemy! I’ll have you whipped to within an inch of your life, slave!” Administrator Squiglepuse screeched, before collecting himself. Staring almost guiltily at the humans who hadn’t signed.

Grim tilted his head, looking neither outraged nor offended, merely like someone enjoying an interesting game of chess. Or perhaps, an intriguing puzzle or mystery. “If there is no library, than what do you get out of it?”

Eric smirked, locking gazes with Squiglepuse. “Time.”

The administrator looked furious. “I’ve had enough of your lies and insults, maggot! My patience is at an end!” He then flashed a simpering smile for the others. “Forgive me, gentle humans. But after hours of circular logic and poorly veiled insults, I find I’m at my wit’s end. This human clearly hopes to claim all the treasures of our heritage library for himself. If you want to make sure his greedy claws won’t grasp everything of value, I’d strongly suggest that you sign as well.”

Eric solemnly nodded. “I can certainly see why you’d suggest that. I mean, you do have a holding pouch full of slave collars, so you certainly came prepared for all sorts of neck sizes. It would be a real shame if so many of them went to waste.”

“Who told you that!?” Squiglepuse screamed. “There’s no way you could know that. You lack the magics to scan bags of holding. We checked!”

Eric smiled at his friends. “They’re a remarkable combination of devious and stupid, aren’t they? Easy to goad and bluff, but maliciously clever in their own way, that’s for damned sure.”

Morlekai and the others blanched, exchanging solemn looks.

“You know what? I think we’ll pass,” Morlekai softly said.

Administrator Squiglepuse began to tremble, flushing beet-red with outrage, before his lips curled in a smile that was almost painful to see. “Are you dears absolutely sure?” he simpered.

“Uh, yeah. Pretty damn sure there, hoss,” said Drake with a nervous chuckle as they all stepped back, tactical backpacks now pulled back to the door. “Our chips are officially off this table.”

The administrator glared at Eric with a hate that transcended words. “You just cost me five hundred pounds of gold, you little piece of Highborn shit! When I’m through with you, Aurelia won’t even recognize your broken bleeding pox-ridden body! You think you can get the best of Squiglepuse, you cock sucking piece of elven trash? You’ll be screaming my name before the night’s fucking out!”

Eric blinked, stunned by the unexpected vitriol from the hyperventilating little goblin who then flashed a furious smile before pulling out a collar and chain radiating magics of blood and pain. “Oh well, not all’s lost! An elven prince and a lich are prizes enough for my clan! And the rest of you assholes have til dawn to leave! Since I know you fools don’t have a ton of gold on you right this minute, there’s no way you can initiate payment in full!”

The bloated little creature rubbed his hands, a truly nasty smile coming over his features, gestures mirrored with eerie precision by all his sycophants all rubbing their hands and chuckling softly in eerie unison.

“And as the contract clearly stipulates in section 27, Paragraph 6, failure to initiate Payment in Full results in forfeiture of all personal assets, including your persons, immediately!”

“Now that’s pure bullshit!” Drake roared, hand on the hilt of his blade, eyes flashing with sudden heat, glaring at the smirking greenskin goblins radiating pure malicious glee. “You made it damned clear we had ten years. Ten years to complete payment! Gold? Hell, we can spot our boy one pound or five hundred pounds with a single nod from him, no worries there, ‘friend.’ So how the hell do you get off threatening to kick us out, or put our friend in chains!?”

Squiglepuse snarled, and when the three flunkies behind him immediately pulled out wands radiating twisted energies that screamed death magics to Eric’s psyche.

Drake and Louie paled, stepping back, though Master Grim didn’t even flinch.

“Though it would be deliciously tempting to obliviate all of you squealing fools daring to speak so to your betters, repeatedly...” The Squiglepuse turned back to glare at the shining orb of mercury that, Eric was pretty certain, was recording everything transpiring. “I will relent. For now! I will even go so far as to answer your question!” The goblin’s twisted smile was nothing but teeth and hate.

“You have ten years to finish payment-in-full! That means that you’re capable of paying off the entire sum this very instant, and it is merely a case of delivery! Not of accrual, you asinine pale-faced jackanapes, but of delivery! And since we know for a fact that you only have five hundred pounds of gold, by your own admission, you have therefor defaulted on the contract!”

The last was said with a gnarled claw jutting triumphantly in the air, earning a full round of applause from the goblinoid side of the table. Even though the death magic users had to resheathe their wands in order to clap, re-sheath and clap they did.

Morlekai’s features went ghost-white, his sister wide-eyed and trembling.

“Fuck, those little shits fucked us over just as much as they could, didn’t they?” she sobbed, Louie holding her tight, glaring at the goblins.

“No. There’s no way the law would allow you to do something that fucking twisted!” Louie roared, earning a contemptuous sneer from their counterparts.

“No way HUMAN law would allow us to,” the administrator smirked. “Which is far inferior to Goblin Contractual Law! A system of trade, empowerment, checks and balances that allows us to stay ahead of all our competitors… and crush new world savages to yourselve back into the muck where you shits belong!”

Drake turned to the grey lawyer supposedly on their side. “But… shit, this asshole was supposed to watch out for us. He swore he had our back and he wasn’t on their payroll!”

Eric flashed the trembling grey humanoid a pitying smile. “He’s terrified. Can’t you see it? For all we know, all the supposedly ‘free’ lawyers of Freetown were threatened with summary execution if the goblins ever lost a case. Or maybe they have family members being held hostage by these little jackal shits.”

“Precisely!” Squiglepuse said, smirking without a trace of shame. “This worm knows his place, and soon you will too.”

Caliban chose that moment to clear his throat. “You are assuming, of course, that my associate is unable to pay the stipulated price in full. If he is… you have six months to produce this heritage library.”

Squiglepuse snarled at Caliban. “I have had enough of your little human’s shit! He clearly doesn’t have it, and he never will! The contract’s been violated, and there is a price to pay!”

The creature flashed a truly malicious smile. “And don’t think you can flee, either. Officers of the peace are surrounding your compound… MY compound, as we speak!”

Caliban’s polite smile turned hard and cold. “And what assurance do we have that you even have this purported library? You accuse my client of being unable to pay in full, that any delay is a matter of accrual and not transport, yet the same stipulations and penalties, apply should poor faith be shown at your end as well. What proof do we have that this supposed heritage library even exists?”

“My word as an administrator of goblin interests here on Freetown!” The bloated goblin roared. “By Goblin codices, that is sufficient proof of good faith!”

Caliban dipped his head, icy smile that of a hunter who had finally flushed out his prey.

“Excellent. So good of you to clarify that, dear Administrator Squiglepuse the Third. Because as First Class Administrator of Freetown’s Blue Quarter interests I can say, freely and without reservation, that not only am I fully convinced of my client’s liquidity, but that I’m willing to put my entire regiment on the line.”

Squiglepuse blinked, stunned out of his rant by those words. “What are you saying?”

The seer’s wrinkled face widened with horror. “They have surrounded us, my lord! Blue has seized the board!”