Welcome! So you've decided to get into the hospitality business? Fantastic! You're going to meet, greet and serve countless numbers of people from probably all over the world and such! It's going to be a huge learning experience. But there are perhaps some things that aren't so obvious before you start, and it may even shock you. Don't worry, most don't bite. Security will take care of that, but not all the time. They may just walk to the scene and my goodness! You may already be stabbed to death before they reach you. Never mind that. What you need to know is some of the people you're going to be serving.

Most W***e People

They'll be fine. Tip you between 10% to 20% and not be such a problem. Most of the time, of course. Usually have something nice to say or actually tell shit to you straight. Remember to read the atmosphere and be perceptive. Body language and responses to certain questions are your biggest ammunition when dealing with them.

B***k Men

They might seem like fun company but damn, it gets bad when something ticks them off. We're talking the entire world is out to get them and you might not know what to do when they think you're part of the world. Too bad! Don't expect tips, but do expect heavy alcohol consumption if available. Knowledge in rap music, battle anime, fighting games and how the world is out to get them is a plus.

B***k Women

As long as they don't come with other b***k men, they're going to be great to have! Full of energy and vibrant. Never had a problem. Being up to date with the latest celebrity gossip and/or popular TV show will make you a star. Here's a secret: ask for their ID. Even if they look legal, just do it. They love it.

Au**ies / New Z'ers

They use confusing termonology so get used to it. Never tip. Fucking shame. Might insult you but not to actually say bad. They just happen to talk like that. They do complain when you give them lemonade when they asked for lemonade. To them, lemonade is carbonated. Strange, right? Now you know.

Made in C***a

Rare. Almost never speak English. Have a translator ready. Might order either Oriental dishes not on the menu, or herbal medicine, also not on the menu. Skills in their language is a double-edged sword so remember that. It might be nice shooting their ass in their native tongue about how you don't have bo-sack noodle, but next you'll be dealing with thirty of these fuckers wanting to make business deals with you the next day.

Southerners

Actually really nice! Maybe that's why Southern hospitality is a thing. But holy shit, are they picky eaters, and also tip 10% only. But no trouble so business should be smooth. Knowledge in guns and various firearms are a big plus.

S**vs

Fucking commies. I swear, even if they make a fuck up on their part and you step in to cover their ass, you won't get a simple thank you. Being a judo or sambo fighter is recommended when dealing with them.

I*d**n Men

Because the women don't exist. You will dread ever seeing their faces when they step through those doors. We have to let them in because we're not prejudiced, but believe me, you're in for a bad time whenever they show up. A minute will pass and they'll snap their fingers for not getting what they ordered even though there are eight people who made their orders before them. They'll give you attitude even though you gave them your best. They won't tip even though you gave them your best. They won't even smile even though you gave them your best. Nothing will help you unless you're a hot piece of ass ready to throw your body into their harem. But you have self-respect so you won't do that.

Sports Fans

I swear these people take anything about their hobby at a personal level, as in if you show any lack of understanding when it comes to their teams, rules, biases, or just showing a preference over a different sport, be ready to face the wrath of buffalo sauce covered fists in your face. And never have two people supporting different teams or different sports in the same room. Don't forget to overcharge them because those chairs and glasses won't replace themselves.

Anyone Wearing Pokémon Merchandise

There is something terribly wrong with their heads. I'm not fucking joking. Every, single, fucking, time someone walks in hear wearing a Pokémon hat, Pokémon shirt, Pokémon keychain, they'll say, ask, do something that will make you question them as a human being. I like Pokémon! Okay? But you best be prepared for anything, and I mean ANYTHING if you spot some piece of merch on someone coming into this place. I cannot stress this enough. You'll know what I mean once you've dealt with two of these people.