Fuzzy and Sasha - August 12th - Sunday Afternoon - Ares Marcotechnology Arcology

Fuzzy's feeling on relationships were both complicated and simple.

Complicated due to the fact that trust was hard earned where she came from. The Puyallup Barrens was hard, lean place that would punish you for trusting the wrong people. Someone might steal your gear, which in ash wastes was basically a death sentence because breathing without one was difficult in the short term and deadly long term. And without her hunting gear, she'd quickly begin to starve. There were also slavers and they were especially unkind to women that they caught.

There were also less deadly, far more practical concerns. It was hard to be attracted to someone when they covered up their face and body to keep out the ash. Also, time not spent hunting for Fuzzy meant less food, so she'd been constantly working for most of her life which meant less contact with other people and that meant she was less practiced at talking to people. So she'd just never had time to develop a romantic relationship.

But it was very simple in two ways. First, she had to trust someone. One didn't get by in the ash wastes alone. Out there, she had people she could count on. Rat Man and his kids and to a lesser extent, the Petrowski farmers. However, at school, she didn't and that was a real problem. So she'd chosen Sasha as the person that she thought she could trust.

All of this was extremely pragmatic. You had to be pragmatic out in the barrens. But all of that pragmatism hadn't prepared her for her first kiss. A kiss with a girl no less, because she'd had zero idea that girls could even like girls like guys liked girls and girls liked guys until Kenji told her. So not only had Fuzzy never been in a relationship before, but she'd never kissed another person like Sasha had kissed her until just now. That kiss had tasted a little like barf.

But they'd both been excited. Sasha obviously hadn't tried to harm her and so Fuzzy was willing to forgive her, even if she was really, really confused and had no idea how to parse her feelings. But even through her confusion, Sasha had asked for Fuzzy's forgiveness and after a few seconds of quick deliberation, she made her decision.

"It's okay," said Fuzzy, "Really."

Sasha was dying of embarrassment.

"Look," said Sasha, "Can we just pretend it never happened?"

Fuzzy wasn't particularly good at pretending. There was also a part of her that wasn't sure if she wanted to pretend that it didn't happen. This as of yet unexamined part of her personality that wondered if she'd liked that or not. A part of her that made her blush despite the fact that Fuzzy rarely blushed, or at least she didn't think of herself as someone who blushed.

So she did something she normally didn't do. She looked inside of herself for her feelings as she tried to find the right words. Words that wouldn't end her friendship with Sasha. The words she said next weren't calculated and she wasn't particularly smooth or suave. They just came from the heart and tripped off her tongue.

"No," said Fuzzy, simply, "Because healing that deer was the most beautiful thing that I've ever done before."

Sasha turned to look at Fuzzy, something she hadn't done much since the kiss. Her mouth was open and color was high on her cheeks once again.

"You were right," sighed Fuzzy, "We didn't need to kill that deer. I don't know how to send the meat to where it matters and I don't have a place to store it for myself. I've never hunted just because, you know? I always hunted because I was hungry, or because other people were hungry. Never for...Never because I just want to kill something."

Fuzzy struggled for a word and Sasha supplied it to her.

"For sport," said Sasha.

"Does that mean hunting just because and wasting the meat?" asked Fuzzy.

Sasha shrugged.

"Sometimes," said Sasha, "Sometimes not, but sometimes."

Fuzzy frowned and nodded.

"I hunt more like your dad did," said Fuzzy, "Because I needed to eat. Because I had people who relied on me. Hungry people. Or I killed an animal because it was a threat. But I've never killed a thing just because I could."

"Never?" asked Sasha.

"It's hard to kill for...Sport...If you're always hungry. I was always planning my next meal."

"That makes sense, I guess."

Fuzzy pursed her lips and thought about it, then nodded to herself as she came to a decision.

"Would you like to hear a story?" asked Fuzzy, "About where I come from?"

"What, like a barrens story?"

Fuzzy nodded and after a moment, Sasha nodded back. So Fuzzy straightened her posture, like a storyteller might.

"Rat Man told me this story sometimes when I was little," said Fuzzy, "When I was little, one day many people came to the ash wastes. They'd been pushed out of better spots during the Crash because everyone was hungry. My part of Puyallup is lean and they didn't understand this. They look into the ash waste and they only see the ash upon the hills and the bones of a city that was."

Sasha's blush subsided and she began to focus on Fuzzy.

"There are things that live in the wastes besides people," said Fuzzy, "Some plants that grow where the ash doesn't blow or fall to the east. Mostly the other sides of hills and there are a lot of hill near where I live. And sometimes when it hasn't ashed for a long time, grass blooms in places and the animals eat. The soil is rich because volcanic ash makes for good soil. And to the northwest, animals gather near Petrowski farm and take what they can. I used to hunt there for small game when I was first learning. And there are other spots like that too. Those spots allow the animals to live."

Fuzzy held up a finger.

"So where others see ash, I see life," said Fuzzy, "In the cracks. I have...Had to see it. If I didn't, I'd starve. But I always knew what not to take. What not to kill. The very young and pregnant animals, mostly. If you take thoughtlessly from the land, the land will punish you and others for it. And those people who thought they could live out there, the ones that the ash didn't claim? They took too much and too little."

Sasha frowned in confusion.

"How do you take too much and too little?" asked Sasha.

"Well...How much of that deer would you eat?" asked Fuzzy, a question for a question.

"The...Meat?" asked Sasha, confused.

Fuzzy spread her hands wide, as if over a kill that wasn't there.

"A deer is more than just meat," said Fuzzy, "It has bones. Organs. Blood. Horn. Hide. I'd eat or use it all. Nothing gets wasted. Except for the new people. The ones that the ash didn't claim? Well, many of them wasted kills. Took only the meat. Kept killing because they only took the meat. Killed the youngest. Killed the pregnant animals. They were warned against it, but they were hungry and wasteful. So the land punished them. Us too, but mostly them since we knew the land better. They found less animals. Then none. They starved. And when they starved, they looked to the people who knew how to live there and came begging. But there was no more meat for a long time. They made sure of that."

Fuzzy took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

"The Petrowskis had their farm," said Fuzzy, "They did well during the Crash because volcanic soil is good soil, even though they have to fight the ash and hope for light and rain. And if they're not fighting with the weather, they fight people who'd show up whenever there was a harvest. Some people begged, but you only get food once when you beg the Petrowskis."

"Why only once?" asked Sasha, quietly.

"So they can show you how well armed they are," said Fuzzy, "How you had no chance if you came to take from them. They dig little holes all around their farm called spider holes. Cover them with tarps, lay there under the ash when people come begging. Then they come out of the ash like ghosts from all around you, armed, armored and willing to bury them in their farm plots if you step wrong."

Sasha frowned in disapproval.

"But they need it," said Sasha, "They're hungry, right?"

"Usually," said Fuzzy, "Sometimes a beggar is just that, a beggar. Sometimes they turn thief. Sometimes they're a raider scout. Raiders will use the desperate as scouts. And sometimes the beggars will turn raider if they can fight. The Petrowskis are a very hard target though and they've been in Puyallup for a long, long time. So hungry people look to where I used to live with Rat Man and all of his kids. This house in the hills. There isn't any food around them. The land is nearly worthless, which keeps a lot of people away. But when things get hard, people came begging anyway. And you know what happens?"

Sasha thought about it.

"They get fed once?" asked Sasha.

"They get fed once," said Fuzzy, with a nod of approval, "And they're shown why they shouldn't come back. Rat Man has his own ways of making sure they don't come back, but I don't say how because I lived there."

"So what...They starve?" asked Sasha, "That's awful."

Fuzzy nodded in agreement.

"It is," said Fuzzy, "But they starved because the ash wastes are fragile. They took too much and wasted too much. Some begged, got the message and left. Some turned raider and well...Sometimes they got lucky, but the people from the city just got hungry again. They never stayed lucky. Some learned and stuck it out and so they live there now. It took years for the ash wastes to recover. For the animals to really come back. You wouldn't know it unless you know it like I do, but it did."

Fuzzy's posture relaxed, the story now over.

"That's...Definitely a story," said Sasha, "But um...Why did you tell me that?"

Fuzzy smiled.

"Because you helped me not be like them," said Fuzzy, "The people who take and waste without thinking. I mean...I'm not going to stop hunting. It's who I am. But I didn't know that was what I was about to do. So thank you."

"You're...Welcome?" asked Sasha, with a nervous little smile.

Fuzzy nodded in approval and sighed in relief.

"If we're going to be best friends then we should probably try and understand each other, right?" asked Fuzzy.

Sasha's smile turned less nervous.

"Yeah," said Sasha.

Fuzzy sighed in relief. The awkwardness wasn't gone, but it had diminished.

"I feel so dumb sometimes," said Fuzzy, with a little laugh, "Everything is so new. I barely understand anything here and I'm always having to watch or ask questions. So it's good to talk about home."

"Dad is going to be disappointed though," said Sasha, glumly, "That we didn't kill the deer. He's going to ask."

Fuzzy snorted derisively.

"Then he doesn't understand anything," said Fuzzy, "You tell him what I told you. We won't take what we don't need and that we fixed our mistake once we learned we made it."

"Most people can't really talk to him," said Sasha, cautiously, "He listens, but he has a way of not hearing you sometimes."

"He'll hear me," said Fuzzy, "Because I know what he wants."

"And that is..."

Fuzzy smiled and laid back in the couch, her hands at rest over her stomach.

"For you to learn what he wants to teach you," said Fuzzy, "Not everyone is meant to hunt though. Taking a life is hard. That's okay. I think you could get used to it if you had to, but you live well enough that you have a choice. Your choice is no and I support that. My choice is yes, but only if I do it in the right way."

Sasha gulped once and nodded to herself, but it didn't really seem like it took.

"I don't..." said Sasha, suddenly unsure, "I don't know. We don't agree much. It's like we're two completely different people. Sometimes what he says doesn't make sense or it's old and I don't need it."

"Then eat the meat and spit out the bones," said Fuzzy, as if it was obvious, "And maybe keep some bones just in case there's meat inside."

Sasha rolled her eyes.

"Okay elder," said Sasha, sarcastically, "I think I might be done with meat after this hunt though. After seeing the deer in so much pain? I could feel it dying. Like really, actually feel it dying. I'd have told you anything to make it stop."

Fuzzy suddenly looked annoyed at herself.

"That was a really sloppy kill," said Fuzzy, "I've been hitting tiny birds and in flight and they I shoot a deer in the back instead of the heart."

"We didn't kill it though."

"Well good," said Fuzzy, "I'd be so angry at myself if I wasted such a good kill. And you already have plenty of food anyway. You even throw it away."

Sasha suddenly looked sheepish.

"You always get nervous at the ends of our meals," said Sasha, quietly, "Is it because I throw food away?"

Fuzzy couldn't nod any harder than she did in that moment.

"It makes me crazy," said Fuzzy, emphatically, her hands suddenly fidgeting, "Everyone at school throws food away. I could feed a hundred people a day for as much food as everyone throws away."

"Then...I'll stop doing that."

Fuzzy smiled and nodded. She even seemed to relax by a few degrees.

"So..." said Fuzzy, a little embarrassed, "I could never forget. We did a bad thing, but then we fixed it. That's a good thing."

Sasha looked down and idly drew on her thigh.

"And...The kiss?" asked Sasha, hopefully.

Fuzzy blushed and swallowed hard.

"I don't know," said Fuzzy, "I didn't...Not like it."

Except for the taste of barf on her lips, though this didn't seem the time for Fuzzy to mention that. This got Sasha's hopes up from the look on her face and Fuzzy wondered if that had been the right thing to do since she didn't even know her own feelings. As a way of changing the subject, she grabbed Sasha's gift, the book containing the spell off the coffee table in front of her.

"So this is a spell book, right?" asked Fuzzy, quickly.

"Uhh...Ummm..." said Sasha.

Sasha seemed to want to continue that line of the conversation. The "didn't not like it" part of kissing, but decided against it. At least for the moment.

"More of a book about magic with a spell formula hidden in it," said Sasha,

"I can't read it, but maybe you could teach me?" asked Fuzzy.

This seemed to startle Sasha.

"You...You can't read?" she asked.

"No," said Fuzzy, "Mother Bear said that would be a problem."

"How'd you get through her class if you can't read?"

"I listened," said Fuzzy, simply.

Sasha got up and didn't answer immediately. Instead she paced around.

"That's...Not easy," said Sasha, "How are you going to go to classes if you can't read?"

Fuzzy only shrugged.

"Not a lot of schools out in the Puyallup Barrens, huh?" asked Sasha.

Fuzzy shook her head no.

"You'd want me to help you?" she asked, "After what I did?"

Fuzzy sucked on her newly clean teeth. It was such a treat to have clean teeth, she realized.

"Well...Yeah. You're my best friend," said Fuzzy, "I like you."

Sasha's new blush spread so far this time it began to burn her ears. She clutched them in an attempt to hide those feelings of hers that were trying to burst right out of her gay little heart. It was obvious what Fuzzy had just meant but how she said it was something else entirely.

Sasha nodded vigorously, though with her hands still over her ears. That sight made Fuzzy giggle which made Sasha's blush even redder somehow.

"Haha. Haa. Haaahaaa. Haaaaaa," chuckled Sasha, awkwardly, "Um...Oh..."

Sasha was relieved because she hadn't screwed up despite her best attempts. That relief was made double because she wasn't being rejected, at least not yet. Someone more in touch with their feelings would know what Fuzzy wanted deep down, and would've told her to stop dragging this out. However, being young and inexperienced in matters of the heart meant that she didn't have the answers. At least not yet.

"So about..." began Fuzzy.

"Yeah, I'll teach you the spell," said Sasha, excitedly. "Ares has all sorts of lodges that we can use and I can have an awakened summon a spirit to make it go faster. You have to have a lodge to learn but I can get access to it for free. I can probably get a head start on my own spell too since that'll leave me with more free time."

Fuzzy's eyebrows rose and she cracked a smile.

"So about learning how to read," Fuzzy finished, "That's a good one too though."

Sasha realized belatedly what Fuzzy was actually asking for and fidgeted nervously.

"I'm not sure if I'd be as good at that, but yes, I can try to help you read," she said, though far less excited this time.

"Come on. Learning a spell is hard. If everyone could learn spells it should take a while. How hard can learning to read actually be?" said Fuzzy, arrogantly.

Sasha chuckled anxiously again.

"Uh...Sure I'm sure if you work hard you'll...Uh...Learn how to read in no time," she said, unconvincingly.