《Lazy Dragon Queen: Gaming in an Illogical World》[Vol. 6 pt. 32]
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“I’m… I’m fine! Stay back!” I shouted to my wives who surrounded me.
To be fair, I understood why they were worried. After all, I was on the ground covered in bats from head to toe. There was also Claire in her human form lying on top of me, her chest pressed down against my own, as she sunk her fangs into my neck to drink my blood.
Was I into the whole “getting your blood sucked by a hot vampire chick” thing? No. Was I into bloodplay in general? Definitely not.
But.
I was, however, into being covered in fluff. So even though it meant having dozens of fangs biting into my body all over, it was worth it because I was surrounded by fluffy bats with a busty, fluffy vampire bat butler wife on top of me.
Life was incredible.
“As long… as long as I keep on using my new powers to refresh all the blood in my body… I’ll be fine,” I groaned out before refilling my body with blood again.
I probably would have died multiple times by then if I hadn’t been restoring all of my blood. After all, Claire just kept on sucking and sucking, and the rest of the bats basically formed various lines around me. Whenever one bat was done sucking my blood, another came up to take its place.
“That’s right… keep on bringing your fluff to me! My body is a blood buffet that will never run out, and the only cost of admission is your fluff!” I shouted out.
“Is… he always like this?” Eliza asked, standing with Luca in front of the now-humanoid-again Valkyria.
“Yeah, Papa loves fluff,” Luca answered. “I’m surprised he hasn’t tried replacing the blood and water in his body with liquified fluff yet.”
I leaned my head up in an instant, throwing one of the bats on my head off from it, and looked at Luca straight in the eyes as I felt myself going cold and pale again. “Liq—liquified fluff?! Does that even exist?!”
“I’ve made a mistake.”
“Liquified fluff… I never even considered the existence of something so powerful before. And if liquified fluff exists, then all liquids could be replaced with fluff! That means a fluff ocean!”
I was on the verge of death again, so I gave myself even more blood.
Now, I could have just given myself an infinite amount of blood… but where was the fun in that? That would remove all the risk! Being able to potentially die from giving away my blood made the fluff all the more rewarding! It made the fluff risky! And risky fluff was the best fluff! Having a bit of risk made the fluff all the more meaningful! I could die at any second if I stopped refreshing my blood! Not to mention that Claire clearly hadn’t had her fill of my blood yet. Seeing as how she was one of my wives, it was my duty to satisfy her, and that meant it was my duty as a man, husband, godly being, and patron of fluff, to give her all the blood that she could ever ask for!
“Papa has gone off the deep end,” Luca said. “I’m worried about what the rest of the series is going to be like.”
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“The… series?” Eliza asked.
“Oh, umm, like… the series of life!”
“Not sure I understand, but I’ll be honest with you, it’s not like I’ve really understood anything going on, so I’ll just keep rolling with it.”
“That’s probably for the best.” Luca nodded a couple of times.
Then there were Chloe and Vala. The two returned from their exploration together shortly after the feast of my blood began, and they both had pretty different reactions to what was going on.
“Heh, so our new vampire bat waifu is the kind of waifu who just keeps on sucking,” Vala said with a smug smirk, the perversion behind her words obvious.
Then there was Chloe who, like usual, looked like she wanted to cry. This time, though, it was out of jealousy… and not the sort of jealousy I might have expected. “It’s—it’s not fair! I’ve always wanted to have my blood sucked by a vampire!”
“Oh, yeah, you talked about that during our exploration.”
Chloe nodded. “It was my backup plan in case my childhood friend plan failed! If I never got to reunite with Drake and become his childhood friend girlfriend, I was going to run off into the woods and hope that a monster caught me and made me his bride! Like Bigfoot! Or a werewolf! Or vampire! I’d even settle for a chupacabra! But vampires are definitely top monster husband, or wife, territory!”
“Well… you know that since we’re all dating, or married I guess now, to each other, that it means she’s your wife, too? So… if you ask her to suck your blood, she’d probably do it whenever you want.”
Chloe froze for a few moments before saying, “Oh, yeah. Wait… does this mean that I get to be both a childhood friend wife and a vampire’s wife?!”
“Yep.”
“This—this is too amazing! I’m so happy that I could cry!”
I was about to say it, but Vala looked at me with a confident smile before looking at Chloe, pointing at her, and dramatically shouting, “You’re already crying!”
Once more, Chloe froze. She stared at Vala like a deer watching a truck driving straight at it. “You—you did the thing.”
Vala scratched the back of her head. “Hehe… figured I’d try it out since Drake is busy.”
“Nobody… nobody else has ever said that to me. I… I thought that it only had such an effect on me when Drake said it… but… maybe I’ve been so conditioned by those words always coming from him… that I love anybody who I hear them from?”
I wanted to call her out for how cheap that love sounded if it could be so easily abused, but I was a man who had another woman on top of me sucking my blood while surrounded by multiple wives. I really had no right to complain. Not to mention that if I saw a woman within our world who was eighteen years or older, I more or less automatically assumed that she was now my wife.
“Time for science!” Vala declared before pointing at Eliza. “You! Definitely-not-a-legal-lo—wait. I probably shouldn’t call you that. You never know what sort of killjoys might be out there reading this who can’t separate fiction from reality. Anyways! Short-but-not-stacked waifu!”
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Eliza pointed a finger up at herself. “Me?”
“Yeah!”
“The name’s Eliza.”
“I know, but it’s more fun to be silly sometimes.”
Eliza crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. “I understand completely. So, what is it?”
“Dramatically shout at Chloe, ‘You’re already crying!’ for science.”
Eliza gave Vala a salute before pointing at Chloe and shouting, “You’re already crying!”
Chloe shot both of her hands up to her chest, overlapping them over her heart, and said, “It’s—it’s true. Those words have conditioned me. Whenever I hear them… I instantly love whoever says them way more than before. I—I don’t know if I should cry or not from that.”
Luca, wanting to join in on the fun apparently, shouted, “You’re already crying!”
Hearing those words from Luca made Chloe cry even more. “You—you feel like my own daughter now! I’ve never felt like a mother before, but hearing those words from you… I feel like I’ve instantly become your mom and like I have to do everything in my power to protect and cherish you!”
Luca fist-pumped the air. “Heck yeah. New mommy acquired.”
And that was when Window finally spoke up following a sigh to say, “My status as my daughter’s mother keeps on getting stolen from me. I thought it was funny when the non-virgin virgin had his special line with Chloe taken from him… but now we’re both getting cucked in the same chapter…”
“I don’t want to hear it, nya,” Clawdia said, her cheeks pouting and her eyes glaring down at me.
“What’s your problem?”
“Isn’t it obvious?!” Clawdia pointed down at me. “That should be me! I’d let them suck me until there isn’t a drop of blood left in my body, but they’re all just sucking him instead, nya! He’s not even enjoying it as much as I would be! Why does somebody who doesn’t even enjoy the pain get to experience being brought to the verge of death over and over again while I’m stuck watching?!”
Window looked too tired of everything to actually give Clawdia any sort of response to that, but she didn’t need to. Honey spoke up instead and said, “But couldn’t you view this as a sort of… advanced denial and teasing play?”
Clawdia’s tail and ears shot up when she heard that. “Ad-advanced denial and teasing? Then… he—he’s purposely doing this in front of me, knowing that I’m going to watch and be jealous, just to rub it in my face?!”
“Ye-yeah. He’s… totally doing it for that.”
Clawdia, with hearts in her eyes now, looked at me again and asked, “Is—is that true?! Are you doing this just to torment me, nya?!”
“No,” I answered. That was never my intent for even a second, and I wasn’t going to lie to one of my wives.
Yet, that answer was apparently exactly what Clawdia needed to hear as she fell to her knees, twitching. “S-such a confident rejection… to—to torment me like this… and not even consider doing it for me… such a lack of consideration toward me… you—you… stupid… idiot… amazing brute… n-nngh… nya…”
Fortunately, when I looked over at Luca, Valkyria was covering up her eyes while Eliza covered up her ears.
While Clawdia did her… Clawdia thing, Claire finally had her fill of blood just in time for the final bats to have their turn with me.
My body was basically covered in holes at that point, but all I had to do was snap my fingers and they all disappeared. Though, I left the two on my neck from Claire. She was my wife, after all, and it was my duty as a good husband to proudly wear whatever marking she decided to give me, even if said marking was a couple of deep holes in my neck.
The expression on Claire’s face was unlike anything I’d ever seen from her before. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips were curled into a smile, and her eyes were full of primal desire… but only for a second. As soon as she noticed me looking at her face, she instantly returned to her usual, almost expressionless and blank demeanor. “Thank you for the treat, my lord.”
“You know, that was a pretty cute face you were just making,” I said.
“I know not of which you speak. The repeated draining of your blood must be causing you mental issues with how you perceive reality.”
“No, I’m pretty sure that’s not the case and that you just looked really cute.”
“Nonsense.”
“Non-nonsense.”
“Non-non-nonsense.”
“Non-non-non-nonsense.”
“Non—”
I grabbed Claire by the sides of her head and pulled her down to my own, pressing my lips up against her to shut her up for a moment. “I win.”
It was then that I realized I won. I really won.
That was the first time since leaving Mariet and Claire’s care that I had touched her with my hands.
And it was with both hands.
Directly on her head.
Claire’s weight collapsed against me, unable to even keep her head held up, as she violently twitched and spasmed atop me. If it wasn’t for her desperately biting into my shoulder to muffle her noises, she probably would have been screaming into my ear.
Now, it hurt quite a considerable amount to have her fangs burrowing into my shoulder.
But.
I had a newly acquired wife facing uncontrollable pleasure on top of me, I was sort of getting into the whole pain thing, and it was my desire to get “revenge” this entire time anyways.
So, I nodded to Eliza and Valkyria, prompting them to take Luca away, stretched my arms up into the air, cracked my knuckles… and placed both of my hands against Claire’s head again, this time to gently pet and stroke her through her fluffy hair.
She bit into my shoulder so hard as she convulsed that I felt like she was about to tear my entire arm off.
That was kind of hot.
Maybe Clawdia was onto something with her masochism.
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