《The Butcher of Gadobhra》Chapter 187: Pinching Penny Pinchers
Advertisement
Some time ago, in the city of Northguard...
"And how is his exalted cheapness this morning?" The cook was debating if she should reuse the tea leaves from yesterday, or use fresh.
"He's in a fine mood, can't you tell? He refused to have a fire lit in his throne room for the daily audiences, and put on that horrid sheepskin coat of his to keep warm. He mumbled that all the hot air would warm things up and save on the cost of coal." The Baron's manservant had come down to report the daily mood to the household staff. It made things run so much smoother.
The cook nodded. "Right then, yesterday's tea it is and no honey unless he yells for it. I won't have him yelling at me again about wasting money. Can you believe it? I serve him groatmeal every morning, just like a peasant eats, and weak tea and he likes it. Never will figure that man out."
The manservant, Barnabas by name, simply smiled. The cook said much the same thing on the days that his Excellency, Baron Tobias Chintzworthy, Lord of Northguard, and protector of the emperor's northern province of Grultain, was worried about the spending habits of his staff. 'Baron PinchPenny', like many nobles, didn't see the need for his peasants to have a pleasant life. Unlike other nobles, he didn't want to have one either. He was legendary for his stingy attitudes and love of high taxes. Tax collecting would have gone better if he had more city guard and paid them better. The overworked civil servants could easily be convinced by a merchant to vastly undervalue the taxable goods for a small bribe.
The large, crumbling castle that he had inherited from his father was in need of repairs, but the Miser Baron preferred leaky roofs and gold in his counting room to slightly less gold and a dry castle. This had the added benefit of chasing off the freeloaders who he would normally be forced to entertain. Random cousins and visiting lords from the provinces only made the mistake of staying with him once. Most of the guest rooms were infested with mold, mice, and bedbugs. If they weren't, the staff put out cheese to attract the needed vermin.
The only part of the castle that was in good repair was the large northern tower and courtyard, and the surrounding barracks. The Legion maintained a large garrison in Northguard, responsible for keeping peace in the far north of the empire. They maintained their half of the castle and paid rent to the Baron which offset his taxes. PinchPenney considered it one of the best deals his great-grandfather had made: trade half of your empty castle for negation of all taxes? Splendid idea! It also cut down on his need for spies and couriers. All of his mail came through the official courier system of the empire, and a few small bribes to the Legion's Intelligence Officer gave him everything he needed to know about all that was going on in the north. Most of which he didn't care about in the slightest.
Advertisement
There were two things the Miser Baron cared about enough that he spent money on them: One was his butterfly collection. The other was the latest rare tonics and potions only recently discovered by rogue alchemists that were going to change the alchemical industry, and make disease a thing of the past. The butterfly collection had been started by his great-great-great grandfather. The 'rare tonics' were brought to him each month by two trusted merchants who searched the Empire for new and exciting products to bring to him.
He truly didn't want to hold audiences today, it would simply be the same old thing: peasants with not enough food, crafters with not enough workers, merchants demanding payment on bills, some dating back two generations.
At least Barnabas kept them orderly and brought them in one by one. "Alright, who's on first Barney?
"Absolutely correct sir. I commend you on your knowledge of sportsball. But I'm afraid it's time to bring in your first supplicants. They claim to be from someplace called Alchemarx Acquisitions Inc. Shall I send them in?"
An impressive name. Pinchpenny was interested in seeing what they had for sale. Barnabas opened the door, and three women dressed in grey skirts and jackets came in. It was strange to see women dressed this way, but Pinchpenny never kept up with fashions in the capitol, so he was always surprised.
They bowed and then one of them stepped forward. "Thank you for seeing us, your excellency. I represent Alchemarx Acquisitions. We have a business proposal for you that we believe you will be interested in."
The Miser Baron sat back in his chair. None of them was bringing out tonics or potions to show him. A bad sign. "I'll be the judge of that, but let's make it quick. I have several silver-winged monarchs that need to be preserved and mounted on a wall. I'd much rather talk to them, than to you."
The women nodded. One brought out several sheets of paper stapled together. A second had a map of his Barony. The third had a drawing she withheld from view. "This is a proposal for a business deal between your barony and the corporation we work for. We'd like to cut your expenses, get rid of your problems, and make you some money. We can also help you crush the people trying to do you harm and steal your income."
Pinchpenny hadn't heard such a good sales pitch since last month, but he heard a lot of them. "Details miss, details. Otherwise I'll bounce the three of you out the door. You have 5 minutes." Barnabas produced an hour glass and the timer started."
Advertisement
The woman speaking wasn't worried, that was more than double what she normally had to work with in meetings. "Briefly then, you have problems. The merchants are forming a union and plan to sue you for back debt in the capital. Your peasants are starving and refuse to work. And the new Baron of Gadobhra has gone behind your back to build a massive fortress that will make this Legion outpost obsolete and the Legion will move out, along with their gold. You'll be destitute, and will have to sell your collection of bugs."
Only one minute had gone by, but the woman paused. The Miser Baron was beside himself with rage. "Force me to pay bills? Who do they think they are?! And Gadobhra? That's a myth or a ruin or something to scare children with."
The woman handed him a copy of a tax agreement between the empire and Baron William of Gadobhra. The Miser Baron read it and went white. "They can't do that. I'm the Protector of the North!!"
"For now. In a year they won't need you. Unless you stop them before the building is finished and force Baron William into default, which you can do with our help. Just as we'll help you with the merchants.
The baron turned over a larger hour glass. "You have an hour. Explain."
Chairs and wine were brought for the three people from Alchemarx. More copies of official agreements were pulled out, along with the reports from certain merchants who felt that selling out their fellow merchants was just business. The Miser Baron was slowly convinced. "Very well, you've shown me the hook, now show me the bait. What do you offer?"
The women all nodded and one spoke. "Firstly, we'll deal with the merchants, showing their union is illegal. Then Alchemarx will pay them all off and get rid of them for you. Our treat. Although we aren't paying interest, and they will have to settle for less than they want. Just details, don't worry about it. Your bills will go away. Next, we fire all of your peasants and replace them with Peasant 2.0, Contract Workers. They can work twice as hard for twice as long, and will never complain about a lack of food. All we ask for is some of the land in your Barony, access to unused resources, and the right to build our own small keep and merchanting village."
Pinchpenny winced. Land? Land was what you didn't get rid of. Still, there was a lot he wasn't using at all, and it just bred bandits and monsters. "No sale, I'll give you 99 year leases with very favorable terms. Maybe a few copper per acre per year."
"That will be difficult to sell to the board, your excellency, but we can push for it. We could possibly offer you something else." A picture was held up of a large butterfly with multicolored wings nearly three-foot across. The glorious bug was sitting on someone's shoulder. "I'm sure that you will be interested in this specimen. A shepherd seems to have trained it."
Pinchpenny was out of his seat in a flash, grabbing the picture. "Impossible! They are all extinct! Converted to monsters, and killed by the inquisition long ago. How did he find one? Oh, but wouldn't this pretty thing look splendid mounted on my wall! Is he breeding them?"
"Sorry, no. That seems to be the only one."
Pinchpenny stared at the picture. "I must have it!"
The three women smiled at each other. "So we have an agreement then. We solve your merchant problems, stop Gadobhra from rebuilding Rowan Keep, and bring you this specimen. In return we take one quarter of your lands, half your natural resources, and manage our own estates."
The Baron nodded, still entranced by the photo. "As you say, but if you fail in any of the three tasks, the land and buildings revert to me."
The women looked at each other, smiling. "We can work with that. Alchemarx Acquisitions Inc doesn't make mistakes."
Papers were brought out, a lawyer summoned, contracts were signed. By days end several hundred peasants were told they needed to start packing. Alchemarx was getting a late start in this world, but they were hitting the ground running, and time had given them a great deal of information. Such as who had a obsession for collecting rare bugs.
Advertisement
- In Serial203 Chapters
God of the Feast (A dark litrpg/cultivation, portal fantasy)
Some recipes are to die for... ...so Clive discovers on a night to remember.From hopeful new restaurant owner, to desperately fleeing demons and all manner of creatures through a strange new world.To survive, he’s going to need some serious help from friends, both old and new. Chapter Schedule: one chapter per day, Monday to Friday. You can join my discord server here. (Link Updated)
8.33 295 - In Serial13 Chapters
Beyond the Horizon's Eye
It is less than two weeks after the event known as the Flux Causality, and two days after the Grand Council has put forth the edict demanding the immediate retrieval and deletion of all Stringhoppers. Finding such Travelers, however, is proving more difficult than expected. A young boy and his sister find themselves violently taken from their world to another, and soon thereafter are forcibly separated. Now sold into slavery, the young man must find not only a reason to survive but a purpose to carry him home. The journey has just begun, and the hardest step is always the first one. ~ This is my attempt at both the Xianxia/Wuxia and Portal/Isekai genre of fiction that I love, and the means to provide a story set in such guidelines, while distancing myself from some of the more common tropes. I do hope you enjoy the story I shall endeavor to tell. ~ Average post between 1000 - 3000 words. This is a work in progress, and will be edited and adjusted over time. If you’re interested in something a bit more GameLIT, you might want to check out my second story on Royal Road, “The Dawnfire Archives”. My newest story is a combination of both genres, but with a female main character at the helm. Feel free to check out "The Card Thief of Culnivar"!
8 159 - In Serial6 Chapters
The Flamelight Chronicles
This is a fantasy novel with a unique magic system. Imagine if Eragon, Kingkiller Chronicles, Benjamin Ashwood, and more had a weird group baby-- that's this book! It's like a coming of age high fantasy novel. Eligor is born into a world where everyone has magic. Your status in life is based on two things: your bloodline and your magical power. To Eli, who lost his parents, was born in a small town named Stathen--in which not a single person of true nobility lives-- and is the only person who seems to have no magical power, the world seems perfectly unfair. That is until one day everything goes horribly wrong and perfectly right.
8 67 - In Serial36 Chapters
Aftershocks
When the long-overdue Cascadia earthquake hits, Portland is not only devastated by the damage, but also abandoned by a corrupt government, isolated by broken infrastructure, and overrun by organized crime networks fighting the strict federal regulations on fossil fuels. Lacey, the captain of a high school outrigger canoe team, persuades her girlfriend Rede and the other paddlers to use their unique skill as a means of survival, acting as couriers who navigate the waterlogged ruins of the city. All goes well until a botched job leaves Lacey with no other option but to disappear in order to protect her team. Rescued from her attempted suicide by a criminal duo, Lacey reluctantly begins her new secret life among the community she once exploited. Meanwhile, Rede and the team try to move past their anguish at Lacey's apparent death, but when a mysterious newcomer sheds a new light on the circumstances, they find themselves embroiled in a plot to bring about justice. *updates every other Tuesday*
8 202 - In Serial20 Chapters
✓ | CALAMITY ↺ NEWT SCAMANDER
[ C O M P L E T E D ]❝ DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL. ❞☆☆☆[ NEWT SCAMANDER ] [ PERCIVAL GRAVES' DAUGHTER OC ][ TAKES PLACE DURING AND AFTER FANTASTIC BEASTS AND WHERE TO FIND THEM ]( cover made by @goodhYOUman )
8 312 - In Serial38 Chapters
Out With The Old, In With The New
Chloe, Lila, and Marinette have been best friends for as long as they can remember, but when Chole tells Mari that most of her "friends" are fake she didn't wanna believe, so she sends Lila to do an inside job and low and behold Chole was right.Drastic times call for drastic minutes right?Let's just see if everything will turn out all right.
8 110

