I was pumping gas at the gas station, and I closed the tank and went inside my car. Jacob and I decided to do a brother getaway. So I took Jacob out of school early, and I explained to Jacob's principal that he will be out of school for a few days. I barely got any time off from work, because I'm always so busy. The law firm gave me four days off from work to spend time with my brother.

So we drove from North Dakota to New York. I went to visit the cemetery along with Jacob. He and I after getting out of the car, went up to our parents' headstones and we stood in front of it. "I miss mommy and daddy," Jacob softly said. I took a deep breath and sighed, holding back my tears.

It was very cold here in New York, almost like it was going to snow. I had brought some flowers with me, and I handed them to Jacob so he could lay one set of flowers on mom's headstone, and dad's headstone. I felt sort of free from being starred at by people. It was very peaceful here at the cemetery. I sniffed, and wiped my tears immediately, and Jacob held my hand after walking back to me. "Do you miss mommy and daddy, Ryan?" Jacob nicely asked. I sighed once again, after inhaling deeply.

I didn't say a word, until I did. I looked over at Jacob. "I miss them every day." Jacob sighed. I hugged Jacob to the side of me, and I kissed his forehead. We eventually left the cemetery and headed our way to the Great Smoky Mountains.

As I was sitting on top of the mountain, Jacob was standing next to me and he was feeling the breeze. I remember our parents would take us to the smoky mountains once a year., every winter. I kept thinking back about the car accident. It was my turn to raise Jacob.

Until Jacob sat down, and crossed his legs, he asked me if our parents were in heaven. I sighed, shaking my head yes, and Jacob just looked at me. Jacob then got all hyped up. I understandably want to help Jacob comprehend what is happening both when anticipating and after the death of our parents. Jacob does so well about respecting people's grievances.

Jacob does well with my grievances. After Izza died, I tried to explain to Jacob that his girlfriend was murdered. He didn't take it too well, and Jacob was fully aware of the situation. Jacob cried for days, shortly a couple of days later after Izza was found dead. Jacob and I lost people in our lives. Jacob and I had lost people who cared about us. Mom and dad loved us, and cared about us. Izza cared a lot about Jacob, it was like they were brother and sister. "I wished Izza was here with me," Jacob said. I just looked at my brother, feeling sorry for him. "I know, I miss her, too," I said to Jacob, softly. "She's in heaven as well, with mommy and daddy." I softly smiled at Jacob, and told him to come sit closer to me. Jacob slides to the left, and I wrap my arms around Jacob to keep him warm. I kissed Jacob's forehead and Jacob hugged me. I told Jacob that no matter what happens to me and him, that we will stick together. Jacob was kissed on the forehead once again and I just couldn't believe they are accusing Jacob as a first degree murderer.

A first-degree murder constitutes a very serious crime, a conviction results in very serious punishment. In many states, a conviction for first-degree murder can result in the death penalty or life in prison without the possibility of parole.

Mrs. Miller came to visit me today at a coffee shop. Mrs. Miller was explaining to me how much she misses her daughter and how Izza was super delightful and caring to Jacob. I sighed, as I was listening, playing with my coffee plastic cup. I didn't know how to express how sorry I am for Izza being gone. Mrs. Miller sighed, and she knows and understands.

"You must be worried sick," Mrs. Miller asked.

I shook my head, yes. "I'm seriously worried," I said.

"Yeah?" Mrs. Miller asked softly, understanding me. I swallowed, before sighing, and I couldn't hold back my tears anymore. Mrs. Miller then leaned out a hand, and grabbed my hand. She knows that it's not Jacobs fault about what happened to Izza and how Mrs. Miller just couldn't believe that they're accusing Jacob of a capital murder.