We ended up having to climb down part of the slope to gain access, until Phyllis lead the way, skidding and sliding down the mountain. Her mechanical legs tore up the ground and ripped out any cacti in our way, so Doofus and I picked our way down in her wake.

The yarsp horde had mostly cleared out of their tunnel system, leaving churned earth and a sickly sweet odor in the air. I stood in the entrance of the tunnel and took it in.

When they dug intentionally, yarsps consumed part of the earth they moved. It was a natural part of their diet, according to Axle, but only when the hive was growing. The queen would ingest regurgitated, mineral enriched bile from her yarsps to increase the amount of eggs she could lay, which would hatch rapidly. The excretions from the yarsps would then bond with the remaining dug earth and create a hard, shell like surface on the ground, more akin to rock or tile than loose soil.

So when yarsps proliferated in an area, they typically punched several large holes in the ground, creating their own cave networks. Most forms of iron based planets were perfectly suited to host yarsps because of this dietary oddity.

What it meant for me was a maze to navigate.

We stepped inside, ready and waiting for a yarsp attack that didn’t come. The bulk of their forces had pushed out of the hive and were headed for Silken Sands. I could still see the flash of bombs in the air, and the intermittent pillars of smoke. We had approached from the far side of their hive, and the bulk of their numbers were focused in the center, forming a straight line out of the mountain.

A massive bulk of lethal insects rampaged through the forest below us, directly toward our home and everyone we knew. I tried not to imagine returning home to find it empty or watching them die on the Fumble-Bees cameras.

My helmet mapped the tunnels as we walked, and I quickly began to sense a theme. The warren of tunnels was secured by only having one tunnel up or down between levels. We had to walk over a mile to find the first one, using my map and the bounty tag to navigate a general direction.

The tunnels were mostly loose earth, with the occasional tile-like step on excreted soil. As we went deeper, the occurrence of the harder earth became more common. The yarsps instinctively avoided excreting upon other excretions, which tiled the entire hive from the center out. Walls and even ceilings were no exception, but at our depth, the tiling was random and made for difficult walking.

Claw marks were everywhere, but impossible to follow. On the churned earth, the entire thing was a muddled mess, and on tile it was nothing but scratches. So we followed the map.

Phyllis kept her plasma weapon in blade mode, illuminating the tunnels around us. She insisted this was for Doofus, since the light faded to nothing after the first twists and turns. My own low-light vision adjusted, and we walked in relative quiet. The tinny sounds of the battle back home came through in my helmet, keeping me anxious and jumping at shadows.

The deeper we went, the broader and wider the network of tunnels became. With how rapidly the yarsps had dug out the mountain, I considered the possibility of other regions on earth, and what they had become since BuyMort.

Only once we had found and descended our third tunnel down did we get attacked. A meager group of five yarsps had been guarding the tunnel and surged toward us the moment we came into earshot. The excreted tile resonated with each of Phyllis’ heavy foot falls, and the scurrying insects went directly for her.

Doofus barked and splattered a yarsp against the wall as it tried to race past him. I drew my magic sword Falcor and waded into range to lop the thorax off a passing yarsp.

Phyllis swung her blade of plasma, and I ducked to stay clear of the heat wave that followed. The charging yarsps were all seared in half with a chorus of grunts, with the exception being the lead yarsp, which dodged her blade only to be crushed by a heavy mechanical foot.

Skittering sounds echoed off the cavern walls around us, and I looked to Doofus as he started barking. He was stationed in front of the tunnel nearest us, and as I watched, yarsps poured out into our chamber. They were packed in so tight that even Doofus barking full bore couldn’t stop the outpouring.

Sonic blasts from his voice weapon blasted into the swarm, slamming entire portions of them into each other and the walls or ground. Ichor splattered as yarsps died and I rushed forward to protect my dog as the mass of violent insects reached him.

Phyllis was at my side, and both Doofus and I hit the floor as her arm-blade roared overhead. Dozens of yarsps died with a grunt of solidarity, and I waded in to deal with what was left, swinging my atomically-sharpened sword. The grunting rose in volume as Phyllis unleashed her new weapon variant on the swarm.

Her gun arm shifted, portions breaking apart and folding away into the greater bulk of the mech’s frame as others took their places. The heat shield formed, and each of the smaller arms around the edge of her cannon began to spark in rhythm. A stream of contained plasma rushed from the nozzle to the sparks and burst into a geyser of roaring blue-white flame. Thin lines of energy lanced out from the barrel, keeping the plasma contained, and preventing it from igniting the air all around us.

The realization that Phyllis was now wielding a weapon that could ignite our entire planet’s atmosphere if she wasn’t careful with it passed through my mind, but was rejected as unimportant. There was nothing I could do about it anyway.

I could feel the heat washing back over me, and Doofus’ shield activated, protecting him from the backwash. But the yarsps were crisped. Most of the insects in the main cone of her weapon became ash. Those on the walls or ceiling simply charred down to exoskeletal remains, with blackened strings of flesh attaching them inside.

The tile on the walls blackened from the sheer heat, and when Phyllis let go of the trigger and turned back, portions of her own suit front were glowing with heat. The heat shield around the weapon wavered, bright white and fading in color. It cycled down through various shades before cooling to its original black, and we were in no further danger.

I looked around and shrugged. “BuyMort, I’d like to sell all the dead yarsp at my location.”

“Those better go into an account for us to split,” Phyllis said. Her face-shield slid open, releasing a cloud of acrid smoke.

“Fine,” I replied. “Sales go into a separate account. You’ll get your cut.”

I played with my BuyMort settings to get that arranged, while Doofus approached the mounds of ash in the tunnel to sniff them. He straightened up and sneezed, before approaching me.

His buttons lit up the ground in between us, and Doofus looked down to pick something to say. “Hunt!” the first button said. Doofus concentrated, looking for the right word, before he settled on “Pack!”

Then he wagged his tail and pressed both buttons in quick succession. “Hunt with my pack!” the board exclaimed. Doofus sat and wagged his tail at me, panting happily.

I scrubbed the top of his head. “Yeah, you did good! Thanks for the warning on that last group.”

Doofus stepped on the second button again, before turning back to the tunnel. “Pack!” the machine said for him.

A low growl emitted from his throat, and I fixated on the tunnel. Red dots filled my vision, and the rattling thunder of more sharp legs filled the tunnels around us.

Phyllis started firing down the tunnel, her bolts of red plasma lighting the curving holes in the earth. Yarsps fell from the walls and ceiling, burning just from the proximity. Any yarsps the bolts hit immediately burst apart in flaming chunks.

I readied my sword again, staying close to Doofus’ side. I had planned on them doing the bulk of the ranged work, since I had only a few MIRV shells left for my highwater blaster. Playing bodyguard was fine by me.

Pocketing Mr. Sada’s ring, I summoned the breaker gauntlets one at a time, passing the sword between them. The gloves would at least help protect my crystalline colonies if I got overwhelmed again.

The rush of insects flooded from the tunnel, and Phyllis changed her arm’s configuration to the broad plasma blade again. Doofus and I took a few steps back and let the old lady work. He barked at any yarsps who managed to escape the scrum and head our way, but most of them focused on Phyllis.

She laughed and muttered as she crushed, burned, and slashed her way through the crowd, but it kept growing. More yarsps crowded the tunnel. Doofus was growling, hackles raised, as something new pushed its way out of the packed tunnel.

A long legged yarsp with a significantly bigger body shoved free of the crowd and extended its legs. It held back and allowed the smaller yarsps to bunch up in front of it, coursing around its legs and under its thorax. After Phyllis had sawed through them with a casual swipe of her plasma blade, the tall yarsp reared back, lowered its head, and slammed into Phyliss’ chest.

She went down, grappling the huge yarsp. It grunted as she crushed it against her chest, but the mech was down. Yarsps swarmed all over her, rushing past as they streamed toward us. Doofus started barking, rapid fire. He was clearly scared, and looked like he wanted to run, but stayed to fight at my side.

I raised my sword as they converged on us, sidestepping the first and hacking at it with the blade. The yarsp grunted as I cut its thorax cleanly in two, both halves of it falling to the ground. I stabbed its top half through the head, just to be safe.

Most of the yarsps were blasted back or scattered by the sheer force of Doofus’ sonic weapon. The few that made it through, I dealt with judiciously.

Phyllis must have added reinforcing, padding, or possibly both, because she was laughing while she was on the ground. “Oh they’re just excited,” she muttered as she crushed another yarsp against her mech’s chest. “Poor little dearies.”

She swept the blade around, clearing some space, and got started rolling over. I fought to keep Doofus covered, swinging my sword and trying my best to dodge the yarsps. A few got through, and by the time Phyllis was back in action, my suit had deployed tendrils to repair my lower limbs. But Doofus was safe and unharmed, that was what mattered.

The painkiller pumped through me, and the cavern took on a hazy glow. Smoke filled the ceiling, and flames flickered from dozens of dead or dying yarsps as Phyllis turned her plasma-thrower back down the hallway and turned another few dozen of them to ash.

I was on one knee beside Doofus, as the suit repaired my other leg. My sword had performed admirably. When I looked around, I counted roughly a dozen yarsps I’d had to hack apart, and most of them were fully dead. Axle must have been right, the sheath fixed it right up. So much for magic.

The hive went on, deep into the mountain. We moved at a quick pace, heading ever inward and toward the dot. At each point of descent, the next level’s defenders would swarm us in attack. More of the larger, warrior class yarsps were present the lower we went, mixed in with the groups of regular drones. We dealt with them.

And by that, I mean Phyllis dealt with them, crooning about how it wasn’t really their fault the entire time, unless she was asking me what the mortie count was on our communal fund. Doofus played rearguard and warned us when they were coming, and from exactly which direction. The mountain was a maze of torn earth and hardened yarsp excretions. All I really did was defend my dog as he showed us the way forward.

I had been right to bring him, he was absolutely mission critical, but his shield was ineffective against melee attackers, so I was terrified to let them anywhere near him. My sword was more of a machete in my hands, graceless, but lethal. At one point during the melee, I made a mental note to learn how to actually use a sword. It might help us all live longer if I knew how to use the tools at hand.