Chapter Sixty-Seven - Definitely the Best Outcome

Jacob jumped as the door to the warehouse he was hiding in opened up, but his heart settled down as voices poured in. Specifically, the excited voices of half a dozen or so girls. “And then she was all like, ‘how’d you do that?’ and I was like, ‘because I’m the coolest bear ever.’”

“She didn’t say that!”

“She did!”

“I was there, you dumbest bear ever!”

“I was there too!”

“We know!”

Alea wasn’t sure if being rescued by the brat brigade was the best outcome after all. Now he had to deal with the kids being... themselves all around him some more. They were insufferable and annoying at the best of times. Maple was alright though, she was quiet and only wanted to build doomsday devices, which he could sympathise with.

Jacob stepped out of the shadows behind a tall stack of crates and then raised a hand to cover his face from the light shone on him by the girls. “Hey,” he said.

The warehouse Emily--or rather, the Boss-- had left him in was just a block down from the one he’d been held at, but instead of a group of nefarious villains this one was mostly filled with crates and rows upon rows of dusty racks.

The lights lowered, and he found himself blinking to adjust his vision to the light. Emily had her phone out, flashlight mode on, and so did Glamazon. For that matter, all three of Trinity had phones with lights on too.

No one seemed ready to question where the racoon girl had gotten so many smartphones, so he wasn’t going to poke at that.

The Boss stepped up to him, then eyed him up and down. He felt a little exposed, standing before her while she checked him out as if he was a side of beef. There was no sympathy in her eyes. “You’re okay?” she asked.

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine,” he said. “A bit shaken up, but overall, not too bad. How did it go with the law?”

“Well enough. I think there was enough obvious evidence that something was wrong that we won’t be suspected of anything,” the Boss said.

As soon as they’d scared away that Spin-to-Win guy (who was, at the time, a woman? Jacob wasn’t sure what was going on there) they’d pulled him from the van and the Boss had gotten her brats to tie up the remaining mooks. Then they’d gone for ice cream. On the way, they’d shoved him into the warehouse he was still currently hiding in.

He didn’t even get a cone for himself, but he understood well enough. Some of the mooks might talk about him, and so they had to make it seem as if he was never with the ‘heroes’ in the first place.

If the Boss was asked, she could claim that he got away during the confusion, which had the benefit of being somewhat partially true... if he squinted really hard and didn’t pay attention to any pertinent details.

“That’s great,” he said while running a hand through his hair. “I don’t know how well my luck would hold out from here on.”

Emily nodded. “Right, that’s good. We’ll get you back home, don’t worry. Then you can continue to work on reforming yourself away from a life of villainy.”

He blinked. What was she talking about? Then the Boss very pointedly glanced to the side towards Glamazon, as if trying to say ‘this is for her.’

He caught on well enough. “Yeah, right. Just, trying to be a good person, you know? Haha.”

Glamazon stepped over, half her attention on the brats who started to run around the warehouse like kids on a sugar-rush, which he imagined they very much were. As long as they didn’t start throwing things around and someone kept an eye on Maple to stop her from building anything too dangerous then they were probably fine.

“We didn’t have time to meet properly,” Glamazon said. She extended a hand to him, and he jumped a bit before grabbing it for a shake. “I’m Glamazon.”

“Uh, hi,” he said. He tried on a smile. “I’m Alea Iacta. Um, we kind of met, once before.”

“Yes, I remember chasing after you,” she said. Her grip tightened and her eyes narrowed. “You were making a ruckus in the middle of the city.”

“In my defence, I’d just gotten cool new powers and had to try them out,” he said while giving the best ‘boys will be boys’ kind of shrug he could manage. “It was kind of exciting. But I made sure not to hurt anyone.”

“Uh-huh,” Glamazon said. “And now you’re on the straight and narrow?”

“Well, I’m certainly straight,” he replied with a grin.

She didn’t think he was very funny.

“Look, getting powers was cool and all, but it hasn’t exactly made my life simpler. Right now I’m basically on the run from what I think might be a super villain organisation, and the only one keeping me safe is the Boss. I’m just a guy who’s sometimes a little lucky. I guess that luck let me meet the Boss and things have been... interesting since.”

Glamazon sighed. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Emily nodded. “Right, you two keep chatting or whatever. I need to make a call or two. I think our ride home might be scrap, so... yeah, it’s going to be a walk. Alea, we’ll try to find a way to get you back to the, uh, base.”

“Cool, cool,” he said while the Boss walked off. She was probably going to keep an eye on her sisters too. “So, what’s it like, being a big-time heroine?”

Glamazon snorted. She was kinda cute, he noticed, now that she wasn’t chasing him through the streets while flinging explosives at his heels. “I’m not a big-time anything. The more time I spend in this business, the more I feel like I’m just a small-fry.”

“Tell me about it,” he said. “I thought my powers were kind of neat, but then, yeah, they’re not all that awesome in the end.”

“Luck powers seem pretty strong,” she said.

“Maybe one day, but right now it feels kind of underwhelming.” He’d actually gotten a skill upgrade from escaping, but he wasn’t sure if it was going to be all that potent a change.

Glamazon nodded. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” She glanced over to the Boss who was wagging her fingers at a group of chastised brats. “Some people get really lucky, you know?”

He laughed. “Oh, please, don’t look at her like that. I think she’s the least lucky one here.”

“Really?” Glamazon asked.

“Would you want to be responsible for all of that?” He waved in the Boss’ general direction.

Glamazon considered it for a second, then winced. “Okay, fair point. It’s a lot of responsibility, and it’s probably not all that easy to begin with.”

“Yeah. I don’t think I’d want to deal with all of that,” he said. “She’s not that terrible otherwise. Scary as hell though.”

“The Boss?” Glamazon asked.

“Oh yeah. She’s got that like... repressed madwoman vibe going on. Like she’s one bad day from burning the city down.”

Glamazon laughed, just a low chuckle that didn’t carry much. “You have a high opinion of the hero that saved you.”

Right, he reminded himself that Glamazon didn’t know that Emily was a capital V Villain, fledgeling criminal empire and all. “She’s not a bad sort. Just very intense, I guess.”

“Yeah, I felt that too. I thought she was a bit of a pushover at first, but I guess that was all just an act, huh?”

He nodded. That made sense. Emily was pretending to be all shy and anxious, but in reality, she was a stone-cold killer in disguise. It fit everything he knew about the woman. “So, you joining her crew too?”

“Me? Oh, no, I’m not. This was a one-off. A favour. She needed help so I came along. I’m signed on with the HRT you know?”

“How’s that?” he asked.

“It’s okay? They mostly want new heroes to do patrols and look pretty for the media. It’s not great for gaining experience. I think I earned more of that tonight than in all the previous time I spent as a hero. It’s not surprising that the Boss and her brats are so far ahead if this is what they do all the time.”

“Yeah, they’re a bit wild,” he said. “Still, it sounds like a safer job than whatever this is.”

“Oh, totally,” she agreed. “I’ll take my winnings and lay low for a while, I think. But tonight was fun. I’m glad we were able to save you.”

“Me too,” he said. Then, even though he wasn’t feeling particularly lucky, he did something that he usually wouldn’t. “So... you like coffee?”

She laughed again, then stared at him for a moment. “You know, maybe I do.”

“Really? Because I know this great place...”

***