Brenna's POV

"Now hold still, dear."

"Ssss OUCH!"

"Well, I said hold still for a reason, didn't I?" Helena chuckled as she continued pinning rough scraps of linen on me.

I was so worried that I would be deathly bored and stuck in the solitude of my room worrying about Jasper. I nearly forgot about all the fuss that goes into wedding ceremonies.

I have never been one to be frivolous or materialistic. However, Helena had other plans. She nearly pulled me out of bed by my toes at the crack of dawn.

Honestly, I think she is more excited than I am about my impending wedding. I was more concerned about the wedding night. She wanted to get a head start on fitting me and making a pattern for a wedding gown.

There was no way of knowing when Jasper would be back for us to set an exact date, but Helena couldn't contain herself. She had all these questions about my taste in clothing.

I honestly hadn't thought that far ahead because it was customary for the bride and groom's parents to plan every last detail. They were worried about appearances and etiquette.

I told Helena to make something simple because I didn't want her to go out of her way. She obviously said pish posh to that. I wasn't sure what her plan was, but I felt like a pin cushion.

She happily chattered away with excitement as I watched my reflection in the vanity. I couldn't deny my heart was filled with excitement. The more she pinned, the more realistic it became.

I couldn't believe this was my life; it didn't seem real. I was the least bit disappointed. I was completely and utterly captivated by Jasper. I thought it was a miracle to marry such a kind and gentle husband.

However, something was gnawing at me from the inside, keeping me from complete happiness at this moment. What would my father and my people do in response to my union with Jasper?

I felt nauseous thinking about it. Would my father's army storm the gates and kill us all? Would he tell his people it was against my will or that I was brainwashed?

I didn't know how to express these fears to anyone. The few Orc and women who know of our relationship are absolutely smitten. I didn't realize until now how Jasper had pushed away thoughts of marriage or a family until me.

A family... I repeated in my mind. Again I began thinking of what might happen during our wedding night. I guessed the... thing in his pants was a part of it and that he might enter inside me.

I had only seen it once. Only for a moment before I looked away. My cheeks burned thinking about it again. The one other encounter I had was feeling it pressed against me, hot and pulsating.

"What's the matter, dear? Are your nerves getting the best of you?"

Helena's voice brought me back from my trans. I realized how red and sweaty I had become. I patted my hands against the skirt of the mock-up gown out of instinct to dry my clammy hands, only to be prodded by pins.

"Brenna, Watch out!"

It was too late. A few drops of blood beaded from the pinpricks. Thank the gods, it was just a mock-up. Helena might have smothered me. She grabbed a rag to dab at my hands and watched me waiting for me to say something.

"I... I'm okay. It's just a bit hot in here." I stammered.

She looked at me suspiciously. "Dear, you're welcome to confide in me. I'm always willing to lend an ear."

I hesitated, wondering whether or not it would be too shameful or inappropriate to mention my fears to Helena. Helena was by no means old or a stickler for appropriateness, but she was at least in her 40s.

I pondered on it for a moment. "I have just been worried about the... wedding night." I choked

"What was that, Dear? I didn't quite catch what you said."

My cheeks burned. I needed to know, and Helena seemed like a motherly figure to confide in. "I... um. I was wondering about the wedding night... you know how all... that works."

She immediately looked surprised and a bit embarrassed. "Oh dear, has your mother not explained anything to you, love."

I shook my head. Helena hadn't realized that she had died long ago.

"Well, Uhm, intimacy is umm." She stammered, trying to find the words.I watched just as mortified as she was.

"A man and a woman will lie together to show affection to one another... and if you are fortunate, his seed will take inside your womb, and you will be able to bare him a child."

She waited for me to respond to see if I was satisfied with her answer. I wasn't, of course. I wanted to know the dynamics of how everything would happen.

I regretted asking Helena because it clearly embarrassed her. I decided to nod my head in approval. That was that. She went back to pinning and humming a happy melody to herself.

Later that afternoon, once Helena was done with me, I was left to think more on the topic without worrying someone might see the shame on my face as she had earlier.

Helena hadn't said anything that I didn't already know. I wanted to understand the dynamics of what will actually happen at that moment.

The not knowing was driving me to the edge. Then it hit me. I nearly had forgotten about what happened between Paige and myself.

I never mentioned it to Jasper because I didn't know how to bring that up. I was afraid he'd react badly. Would it be wrong of me to seek information from her?

I don't think her kiss meant anything more than a tool to toy with me, but still. I didn't want anything more to happen that would further confuse me.

I had to know more. I decided to wait until Paige left the great hall to question her. I doubt she would shy away from the topic.