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"Every time we make the decision to love someone, we open ourselves to great suffering, because those we most love cause us not only great joy but also great pain. The greatest pain comes from leaving. When the child leaves home, when the husband or wife leaves for a long period of time or for good, when the beloved friend departs to another country or dies … the pain of the leaving can tear us apart."

"Still, if we want to avoid the suffering of leaving, we will never experience the joy of loving. And love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair. We have to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking."

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"What do you think they are thinking ?"

Jin asked with a small smile as he sat on a green patch of land just beside the pond.

They were watching the ducks moving around in the water body.

Recently Jin did develop a routine to go there with their neighbour's son who found peace in watching them just like him.

The young boy shrugged innocently.

"I don't know."

"Probably about food."

And Jin chuckled nodding.

"Yes,maybe you are right."

The boy reminded him a lot of Changhoon.

And he missed the latter a lot.

It's been weeks since he last saw him.

Jin couldn't wait to meet the boy again.

Changhoon is his light.

The boy gave him warmth when everyone around him failed to do so.

It was quiet for a while after that as both of them were lost in their own thoughts.

But as the elder saw that the sun was about to set.

Jin stood up and dusted his jeans to get rid of grass and soil that were on the fabric.

He then looked at the other and his lips curled up.

It's getting late. Let's get back. He muttered.

And the boy nodded as he stood up as well,taking elder's hand in his.

Soon enough both of them started walking back to their own homes.

★★★★★★★★

"Everytime I travel to the city the only thing I see is traffic."

"There are so many cars and I feel like I am standing under a big smoke."

Mr. Kim explained as he ate dinner with his family.

He has gone into the city for work and it was no surprise that he hated it like usual.

Jin's parents were born in village and they stayed there for their whole life.

So, it was given that they were not the ones for city life.

Mrs. Kim just giggles and nodded as she continued to listen to her husband's rant.

She was used to this because Mr. Kim always complained after his visit to city.

Jin was also pretty amused with this.

The stay with his parents has done some magic on him.

His face was not pale anymore. And his cheeks returned to their natural rosy colour.

His body not thin in a concerning way.

And the lad obviously laughed and smiled more.

The sisters were not there as they went out with their highschool friends to hangout together before all of them went different ways after graduation.

It was light and fun night as the family continued to converse.

But the atmosphere changed when Jin looked at his parents with determination set in his eyes.

"Eomma."

"Appa."

"Yes,Jinnie ?"

"I am going to there, tomorrow." He muttered and even though he didn't specify where both elders understood it.

"Are you sure ?"

"You are ready ?"

And the bloke nodded.

"I am."

"I have finally decided what I am going to do."

And his parents just gave him a encouraging smile.

"Okay,son."Mr. Kim said softly, adoration for Jin clear in his eyes.

★★★★★★★★

Jin rolled down the window of the car. He was sitting in the backseat of the taxi as he watched the scenery with a calm expression on his face.

The visit to his parents definitely cleared his mind.

He knew what he had to do.

And he will do exactly that.

But before facing them again he had a destination clear in his mind.

And when the car stopped in front of a very familiar building. He couldn't help but smile brightly.

Changhoon. He thought and got out of the car.

Jin walked in the orphanage with his nerves high from the excitement.

He missed the boy a lot.

And he just couldn't wait anymore.

As soon as one of the worker saw him they greeted him and asked the lad to wait.

And soon enough Changhoon was running towards him with a big bright smile matching his own.

"Jinnie Appa."He exclaimed and jumped in his arms.

"Changhoonie."

"How are you baby ?"

★★★★★★★★★

Jin didn't notice how the time passed by but it had already been a few hours.

He and Changhoon were busy with each other to pay attention to anything else.

They had so many things to talk about and play a lot of games according to the young boy.

And both of them couldn't help but pout as a worker interrupted them to bring Changhoon for lunch.

"I'll be back soon, Jinnie Appa. Don't go yet."The little boy shouted as he walked to the dinning room.

And the elder just nodded with a giggle.

The worker that was standing beside Jin also smiled at the boy's adorable behaviour.

"I'll miss him when he's gone."She said.

And the bloke turned to look at her startled by what she said.

"What do you mean you'll miss him ? Where is he going ?"

Now,it was the worker's turn to look at him confused.

"Don't you know ?"

And he shook his head.

And the worker immediately bit her lips now knowing that what she said could go any way.

"Well you see-"

"Yes ?"

"A few weeks back we had a visit from a couple who wanted to adopt."

"Okay ?"

"And they really bonded with Changhoon very well."

And just as she finished her sentence. Jin's eyes widened with shock and a sudden anger filled him.

"What do you mean they bonded with Changhoon ?"He raged.

"How could this happen ?"

But before the poor worker could say something.

Jin ignored her and stormed to the head of orphanage's office.

★★★★★★★★

The head looked up startled as an angry Jin entered his office.

"What do you mean that Changhoon is getting adopted by someone that is not me ?"

"I clearly remember telling you to wait."

"Were you that impatient--"

"That you dared to cross me."He shouted.

And the head stood up from his chair and blinked at him innocently.

"I don't know--know."He stuttered.

"I thought you knew it already."

"And you were okay with it."

"Since Mr. Namjoon also talked to us on the behalf of the couple that wanted to adopt Changhoon."

"He gave us a recommendation."

"So, I thought you knew,sir."He tried to explain.

"And Changhoon really likes the couple."

"He has already started calling them his parents."

"I thought it was okay."

"I am so sorry,sir."

"I didn't mean to cross you in any way. Please forgive me."He bowed to him.

"What ?"

"Namjoon recommend the couple ?"He asked.

And suddenly his voice sounded so calm yet so cold.

"He did that ?"

Jin tilted his head to the side waiting for the confirmation.

And the head nodded.

"Yes,sir."

And just like that even before the head could blink.

Jin was gone.

★★★★★★★★

Jimin was sitting in the living room with Taehyung. Both busy with their own University work.

When Jin stormed in the mansion.

He was breathing heavily. His face red with all the rage.

His fists closed with so much power.

Yet his eyes were filled with tears.

No, I can't let this happen. He thought.

Namjoon took a lot of things way from him.

And I won't let Changhoon be one of the them.

He won't.

He was ready to fight.

Both the younger got up in the shock.

"Hyung--hyung ?"

But before both of them could say anything.

Namjoon entered the room calm and collected.

He did get a call from the head of the orphanage and had an idea on what was going to happen.

Just as Jin saw him. He dashed towards him and held him by the collar of his shirt.

"How dare you ?"

"How fucking dare you steal the only one thing that kept me happy all these years ?"

"How fucking dare you ?" He screamed.

"You took away a lot of things from me and listen me here Jeon Namjoon."

"I won't let Changhoon be one of them."

"You bastard."He pushed him.

"You knew it, didn't you ?"

"That I was attached to that small little boy. So,you decided to take it away from me."

"Are you that desperate to hurt me, huh ?" He questioned and hit the latter on his chest continuously.

"What did I do ?"

"What did I do to you?"

"For you to treat me like this ?"

"Tell me."Jin cried.

His wall breaking up.

"I hate you."

"I fucking hate you, Namjoon."

"I hate you so much."

"Why did you do this to me ?"

"Why ?"

Namjoon took a deep breathe and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Why do you think I want to hurt you ?"

"Do you think that I don't know how hurt you already are because of me ?"

"And I know it's going to sound like bullshit to you."

"But I never meant to hurt intentionally."

"Everything I did was unintentional because I am a fucking idiot,alright ?"

"I am an idiot."

"Who didn't know what to do when his parents who always adored and loved him suddenly turned so cold just because he got married against their wishes."

"I know now that I don't need their validation."

"But past me was stupid and he did thought that he needed it."

"Look around you-"

"You are not the only one who got hurt by me."

He chuckled bitterly.

"Infact I'm so fucking cruel that I hurt myself,too."

"You are not the only one I hurt."

"I hurt myself,too."

"And about Changhoon--"

"I didn't fucking know it,okay."

"I don't know what you think but I always respected your privacy."

"I didn't pry in your life."

"I don't keep tabs on you."

"Although I knew you liked him from what I saw when we were in orphanage."

"But I didn't know how much."

"And think of whatever you want but I think I did the right thing giving the recommendation."

Jin gasped and staggered back with shock at his words. But he overcame it quickly and raised his hand in the air only to slap Namjoon across his face.

"How can you say that ?" He yelled.

But the younger didn't seem any startled from the slap.

He kept his eye contact with Jin and started talking again.

"Do you really think you are ready to be a parent,Jin ?"

"Be a parent and handle all the responsibilities."

"And it's not that I doubt your ability. I am very familiar with them."

"But look me in the eyes and tell me that you are mentally fit for it ?"

And when the elder looked away from him. Namjoon knew that he had his answer.

"Where would you have raised the kid ?"

"Here ?"

"You and I both know that this place is definitely not ideal to raise a kid. Everyone here has their own struggles to help in maintaining an environment suitable for a kid."

"The boy deserves so--so much,Jin."

"And you know it the best than me."

"We will not be able to give him any of that."

"He will definitely not want to be here. And I can tell you that right now-"

"Because I grew up here."

"This is not a place to raise kids."

"And it will stay like this unless we all do something about it actively and even than it will be a few more years."

"Do you really want him to wait that long ?"

"You can't be selfish and just let him stay in the orphanage for that period of time when he could be out there living his best life with the ones that are mentally and physically really to be his parents and give him all their love."

"And even if you separate out and raise him yourself."

"Don't you think he'll appreciate having both of the parental figures."

"The kid want them and they want him."

"You and I should not have a say in it."

"You can't be selfish with this,Jin."

"It's a really serious matter."

"A kid's life depend on it."

"You can't be."

"It's true."

"Mark and Jackson called me and asked me for my help. And how could I deny it ?"

"Knowing that they will be one of the best parents out there."

"And the kid is going to be so spoilt and loved."

"How could I ignore that and let the kid stay in orphanage for years just waiting for you to get ready ?"

"How could I ?"

"I am not selfish like that."

"And I know that even you are not."

"Changhoon will get the best out there and from what I know--"

"He adores the couple as well."

"He really does,Jin."

"You can see that the next time they meet."

"They definitely won't mind you being there."

"And it's not like Changhoon is not going to be in your life anymore."

"The one condition on which they agreed for my help was that you'll still be allowed to be in his life as a guardian."

"I just got to know by the head of the orphanage that you visit the boy on the weekends."

"So,you can still do it on weekends just the place will be different."

But Jin was inconsolable as he shook his head.

"I can't."

"I can't even bother to look at you anymore."He muttered.

Namjoon sighed.

"Alright."

"Tell me you are ready."

"Tell me you feel confident that you'll be ready to be a parent for Changhoon soon."

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that."

"And I'll stop it."

"I'll stop the adoption."

"You have my word."

Jin took a deep breathe and closed his eyes as tears spilled out his eyes.

Even in rage the elder's rational side took over him.

And everytime he tried to open his eyes and tell Namjoon the same.

He failed.

Jin failed.

He couldn't do it.

He was not able to say it.

His own silence was destroying him.

And finally after a long wait.

He opened his orbs and looked in Namjoon's eyes.

"It's over."

"It's over between us from now."Said Jin with finality.

"I'm leaving."

And after saying that Jin dashed to the room to get the rest of his stuff and get out of there.

But before that he stopped in his way for a moment.

"From this day on-"

"You and I are strangers."

"Nothing else."

Namjoon turned around to look at him.

The elder's back facing him.

And he didn't do anything else but smiled sadly.

"That seems fair."He replied.

"It was long overdue."

Jin walked away from there.

Because of all the screams every family member was present and all of them were too speechless to speak.

Namjoon didn't look at anyone though and also walked away from the scene hiding his own tears.

★★★★★★★★

Jin packed all his belongings in the bag determined to not leave a single item of his in this place.

Tears were continuously rushing down his cheeks and he did try to wipe them away but he just gave up in the last.

He picked up two big suitcases and walked out of the room without looking back.

He didn't want to remember anything related to this place.

Taehyung and Jimin were waiting for him in the hallway with their cheeks also streaked with tears.

Jin stopped and looked at them.

"Take care."

He whispered and they nodded while sobbing.

Jin was not going to hug them.

They were never really close.

So, with a sigh he walked past them and finally left the family that broke him.

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Hey I hope you guys liked it 💜

Last chapter of this book 🙁

( I mean last chapter of book 1 )

Namjoon really didn't know about the bond between Changhoon and Jin. As I wrote in the chapter before he never kept tabs on Jin. So,he genuinely had no idea. And if he did he would have handle the situation differently or there would not have any situation to begin with.

The head of the orphanage called him and told him everything when Jin was on his way to him.

And even before all this.

Namjoon had already given up on any hope on their relationship. That's why he didn't try to save it here. He himself is broken.