《Good Guy Necromancer》Chapter 72: Poor Akolateronim
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Akolateronim belonged to a species known as Watchers; ruthless, calculating, and furiously intelligent floating eyeballs.
It was also the architect of the Prism dungeon, as well as its caretaker. The Guardian, the tentacle monsters and their leader, the hell hounds… Everything here was under Akolateronim’s control, barring the flying bones—and the intruders.
Akolateronim had not expected visitors. And, in truth, there wasn’t much it could do against them either. Most of the defenses were arranged beforehand, the Guardian was uncontrollable, and the tentacle leader had left its lair just before the intruders appeared. What shitty luck.
The only resource at Akolateronim’s disposal had been the hell hound pack, which had already gotten butchered. After that, it had gone blind—and terrified. It hoped the intruders wouldn’t find it, allowing it to claim inability and slip through the cracks of the soul oath it had taken. Unfortunately, that had not come to pass. Now, Akolateronim had to stop this human necromancer…or die trying.
Unfortunately, the human had easily shaken off Akolateronim’s soul attack. Fortunately, Akolateronim possessed other means as well.
Hello, it said, lightly tapping into the human’s soul. It filled its voice with curiosity, hoping to invoke a positive response—according to its books, humans were vulnerable to sincerity. I apologize for my rude welcoming. I was just surprised, you see. My name is Akolateronim. If I may ask…who are you?
The human stared at it for a moment, allowing Akolateronim’s sharp mind to infer more information.
First, the human rode a hell hound; therefore, said hound must have been under his complete control, despite the many seals Akolateronim had placed on its mind. Commanding it to attack could backfire.
Second, he looked mostly unkempt, what with his short, bushy beard and raggedy clothes. Only his shoes were well-maintained—probably the gift of a loved one. Therefore, the human placed great importance on familial ties.
Third, he seemed relaxed, gazing at Akolateronim like it was harmless. That spoke of great confidence, meaning great power.
But, fourth…he seemed young, and his apparent interest in Akolateronim indicated he’d never met a Watcher before. If Akolateronim wasn’t a master of facial expressions, his eye would have narrowed. He smelled blood in the air.
Naivete. A Watcher’s best friend.
“I’m Jerry,” replied the necromancer. “What are you? And why is your name so long?”
I don’t know, my good sir, replied Akolateronim. If I may, why is yours so short?
Humans were also vulnerable to playful banter. It lowered their guard tremendously—and indeed, the human cracked a smile. What a buffoon.
“Fair enough. But really…what are you? You look fun!”
I am a Watcher. We are death spirits, mostly born in the present Dead Lands…and we love books! Akolateronim would have cringed, if it could. Did it go too far? The human didn’t seem to mind. It kept going. Have you never seen one of us?
“Seen? I didn’t even know you existed!” The human laughed. “How can you fly?”
How can whales?
“I have no idea!”
Well, neither do I. Akolateronim vibrated its soul to resemble laughter. I would love to stay and chat with you at length, my new friend… Staying in a maze for fifty years can be lonely, you see…but time flies. If I may ask, do you belong to the group that is currently invading this place?
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“I do.” The human nodded. “We will just destroy the fake Prism and be on our way. It’s fine, right?”
But of course! It’s not like the entire dungeon was built to protect it.
“Perfect!”
This time, Akolateronim’s eye really did narrow. Did he not understand the irony? it wondered. Or is he playing me? No, there’s no way he didn’t get it.
If I may, he asked again, why exactly are you trying to destroy the Prism?
“To lift the Curse, of course.” Jerry looked at Akolateronim as if it was an idiot, making its pride balloon more than it thought possible. It was a genius, after all. Suddenly, it despised this human—even if it didn’t show it.
Lift the Curse!? it exclaimed mentally. Why on earth would you want to do that!?
“What?” Now, it was the human’s turn to be stumped. “Because it’s bad.”
There’s nothing bad about the Curse! Akolateronim acted stunned. It’s a noble attempt to bring balance. You, as a necromancer, should understand this better than anyone. With so much life energy in the world, death energy needs a home as well.
“I… But the people… And necromancers…” Jerry cupped his chin. Clearly, he was struggling to think—but how could Akolateronim, the one with all the knowledge, lose in his own game?
I understand what you’re worried about, it replied calmly. The poor people of the Dead Lands who never chose to become death spirits… Maybe the people and animals that became undead too. But, my friend, being a death spirit is a good thing… They are immortals! They don’t need to eat, drink, sleep, or breathe! Sure, the sky may be a bit overcast, but that’s hardly a bad price to pay for immortality, is it?
“But they didn’t seem happy…”
When were humans ever happy? Everyone has their own problems, but were they really unhappy due to being death spirits, or was it just a coincidence?
Akolateronim was shooting blindly now, but it had to feign confidence. Surprisingly, it hit the mark! Typical humans.
“I guess so…” replied Jerry. “But I mean… So many people and animals died to the Curse. It caused so much pain. The Red Week, the Wall of the Damned… Not to mention that it corrupts the world, making the Dead Lands, well, dead.”
Death energy is not evil, Jerry, my friend. Akolateronim’s mental voice softened. You know that, I’m sure. All that matters is how you use it. As for the creatures that originally died to the Curse… I was there. It was a heavy price to pay, yes, and I can promise you that the Archmages of the Wizard Order cried as they unleashed the Curse, but they still did it. And because they, our venerable forefathers, took that burden upon themselves, we can enjoy the benefits.
The Dead Lands need to exist, Jerry. It is a part of the world, and we shouldn’t tear it apart just because we find it ugly. Now that the hard times of the Curse are passed, there really isn’t much harm to keeping it around, is there? At most, a stray horde bashes the Wall every now and then, but so what? More people die hunting each year than soldiers on the Wall. It’s a worthy sacrifice for such beauty, diversity, and balance.
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The human seemed conflicted, making Akolateronim’s heart burn with morbid satisfaction. It always knew it was intelligent; forcing its will on an inferior being felt wonderful.
“But why do we need balance?” Jerry finally asked.
Because a world without balance is a soup without water. Akolateronim made his voice as kind as possible. It was time to push further. I’m sure your allies have told you otherwise, and you never thought too deeply about things…but now that you have, don’t you think that maybe they were wrong? I’m not implying they lied to use you, I’m just saying that maybe they’re acting blindly. Stupidity is the end of beauty, Jerry. Right?
“I don’t really think so,” said Jerry. “I mean, all of them are pretty smart—smarter than me. Laura, Marcus, Horace, even Boney. If they say that the Curse is bad, then it has to be, I think.”
But don’t you see that’s a slightly naive way to think? Akolateronim insisted. Everybody acts with their own interests in mind, and that doesn’t change if they claim to be your friends. Think about it; would they have some sort of personal benefit if the Curse was broken?
Jerry seemed to think. He raised a few fingers, then took them down one by one. “I guess so,” he admitted, “but I don’t think they would lie to me.”
Humans often do things we find impossible. Akolateronim moved from side to side, imitating a human shaking their head. But betrayal is a hard pill to swallow, Jerry… Trust me, I know it first-hand. You can picture it too if you want. Imagine how you would feel if all those allies revealed they’d just been using you all along. You are a good person, I can tell, and you’re happy to live a simple life, but your type of personality is what manipulators love to target. Imagine if you risked your life to help them, only to realize you were a fool all along…
“But how could that happen? They’re my friends.”
Friends are often the best liars…
“But then they wouldn’t be friends, would they?”’
The human’s eyes were full of sincerity, and Akolateronim’s thoughts were equally full of confusion.
I mean to say that maybe they’re pretending.
“But they aren’t! I would know, they’re my friends. If they were lying and I didn’t know, they wouldn’t be my friends, but they are! Therefore, they’re not lying. See?” The human smiled widely, and Akolateronim’s thoughts came to a screeching halt.
You do realize that makes no sense, it couldn’t help but say.
“Of course it does, I just explained it.”
But it—you didn’t! Your reasoning was a circle!
“What’s wrong with circles? I mean, I didn’t know thoughts could be circles, but it doesn’t sound that bad; just complicated.”
Akolateronim was annoyed now. This human was openly mocking its superior intelligence. Was he simply grumpy at being the inferior one? Akolateronim chose to ignore the provocation—stupidity deserved some leeway.
I understand your disgruntlement, my friend, it replied graciously. If you don’t want to discuss it, you don’t have to. Just keep the thought in your heart of hearts.
“Sure.”
But as for the Prism… Akolateronim pretended to hesitate. You can do whatever you want, of course, but I strongly advise you to reconsider. If you or your allies do not fully understand the significance of what you’re about to do, maybe you should give it some time? Or, maybe, you could tell them to come here and we can all have a nice, civil discussion where I tell you everything you need to know.
Of course, if that were to happen, the Guardian would come too, and these stupid invaders would all die.
As if on cue, another bellow rocked the entire maze, rekindling Akolateronim’s hopes… Wait, it thought, did the Guardian sound hurt? No, that’s impossible. I’m influenced by my fear.
Akolateronim would obey its soul oath if it had to, but it did not want to die.
“I don’t think we can take some time… I mean, we’re kind of in a rush here.”
But that’s too great a risk!
“Yeah…but to be honest, I kinda feel like you’re full of shit.” The human seemed perfectly calm as he said this, like he was just stating a fact. Akolateronim was furious but held it in.
I don’t know what I did to insult you. I am only speaking the truth… it said, pretending to be hurt. My arguments are sound too! Why do you not believe me?
“Yeah, what you said made sense…but it kinda sounded wrong, you know?”
That is not an argument.
“So?”
That is not how discussions are made! You need reasons to make educated decisions, not because something felt ‘kinda wrong!’ You’re butchering the concept of debating!
“But it really did feel kinda wrong. You’re obviously very smart, but eh.”
That’s now how you’re supposed to think! Things don’t work like that! You must act based on reason, not baseless feelings!
“Eh. I don’t want to.”
Akolateronim was incensed. It felt like slamming its eye against a brick wall.
That’s ridiculous! it threw out in a final attempt to make any progress at all. I said everything perfectly! You have no counter-arguments! You must be convinced!
“Eh. I do what I want.”
The human seemed slightly annoyed by now, which was incomprehensible to Akolateronim as he was the one being ridiculous. Perhaps it should backtrack and try a softer approach—but it felt that speaking with this nonsensical human any longer was a fate worse than death. He was too stupid to be reasoned with. Speaking with him caused Akolateronim physical pain!
Very well, it said. Negotiations have broken down. Prepare to die.
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