《Phenomena the Basic Witch and The Mind Safari》Chapter 36: Tension in a Dark Room

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"Tal," Mena grimaced, "It's either Monkler read my diary and tied you up for me. Or this was a trap."

"I'm going to be the heartbreaker and go with the latter," Tal said rolling his eyes.

"Yesh…" Mena sighed. "What's the real reason you're here?"

Tal took a deep breath. "I saw that foppish chimp wandering around backstage and I followed him here. I had no idea he'd get the jump on me. He's craftier than he looks."

Mena looked for a door knob, but finding none, she started banging on the metal door. "Let us out!"

"The answer is a thousand times, no," Monkler chortled. "And good luck escaping. It's steel plated. No one will ever hear you!"

Suddenly, an idea brightened Mena's eyes. "Wait a minute, you stupid monkey. Forget doors! Witches and wizards don't need em!"

She quickly undid Tal's hand ties and grabbed his hand. "Presto disappearo, take us out of here-o!"

"Wait don't!" Tal shouted but it was too late.

Mena's body was consumed with magic light as her and Tal disapaited into a purple and brown wisp of energy.

Wisping was a power that converted your body into a tiny wisp. You could travel through walls and buildings as a fragment of light energy. Mena hoped to use her limited abilities to wisp through the wall but as her purple wisp traveled towards the wall it ricochetted off itl and bounced around like the walls were made of rubber.

Once she was exhausted, Mena's body transformed back into a human and she fell flat on the floor. "Owie zowie!" she moaned with Tal's body on top of her. "I think my brain's upside down!"

"I'm surprised a knuckle dragging lesser species like you even had a brain," Monkler laughed. "I've already magic proofed this chamber so you and hair conditioner boy can never escape it!"

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"Why are you doing this to us, you lout?" Tal shouted.

"Because…" Monkler said. "The beast people of this suburban society should never be entertained by such retrograde hairless beasts! You homo-inferiors belong in the jungles and not our fabulous gated communities."

"So you don't think we should perform because…" Mena stammered, "you don't like our species?"

"Indubitably, Monkler said. "And if you could see my thumbs right now, they'd be opposed in triumph! Your play will soon be in shambles and you will return from whence you came!"

Monkler's laugh echoed as he walked away.

Mena sighed. "Evolution...more like evil-lution, am I right?"

Tal shook his head. "This is no time to make puns, love. We're probably going to rot in here and the bacteria will devour our flesh and when they find us we'll be nothing but food for worms."

"This is no time to be an emu either!" Mena said standing up. "This show must go on!"

"Yeah, without us," Tal said. "The only person who is going to find us is the reaper."

Suddenly, Mena's eyes were aglow. "Wowie zowie! Wait a minute, Tal, you're a genius!"

Tal scratched his head. "I don't get it, Miss Shiny Teeth. How am I a genius?"

"Here," Mena said, "I'll elaborate!"

Mena puffed out her rosy cheeks and shoved Tal. "Tal, you're nothing but a gloomy crybaby. When you're finally of age to drink, you'll drink nothing but a bottle of whiiiiine!"

Tal grimaced. "Mena, what are you doing? How dare you insult my demeanor!"

"And…" Mena said, sticking her tongue out and crossing her eyes. "Your taste in music sucks. A merry band of eunuchs is more manly than Outrage! At the Tavern. And the less I say about Paraless the better!"

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Tal's chocolate brown face turned a spicy red. His brown eye seered and red eye pierced like a vampire bat. "Those are great bands! They know exactly how it feels to be a tormented, sensitive male. You take that back!"

Mena looked around. She didn't feel anything. Mena took a deep breath. "Looks like I'm going to have to break out the heavy artillery!"

Her cheeks flushed as red as Tal's. "Tal. I can't believe I'm going to tell you this, but when I saw Ashlan's new haircut, I was like 'hubba hubba' She can be the queen of my jungle anyday!'"

Tal's body was enraptured with shadows. His fists charged up with shadow balls of energy "Mena…" he howled, "I'm going to kill..."

Suddenly, the door clicked. Janus opened the door with a smile. Her eyes were glistening and she smiled happily. "I smell death! It's lovely! Oh, hi Mena and Tal!"

"Janus!" Both of them exclaimed.

Tal was in complete shock. "How did you know we were here?"

"Janus is the reaper!" Mena said with a smile. "And you were going to kill me."

"Aww," Janus said with a sigh. "So there's not going to be any death…"

"Sorry Janus," Mena said. "Though we were going to die if you didn't come to find us!"

"Meh…" Janus said dreamily. "Death by hunger is so boring anyway. Anyway, Tal, Mr. Romulus, it's time for you to take the stage!"

"Ooh!" Mena said, dancing happily with her hands up. "Just in time!"

Tal silently glared daggers at Mena. He looked like he still wanted to kill her. But at last, he simply exhaled, went 'hmmph…" and walked away.

Tal was off to dazzle everyone with his performance, but now there was a total knot in Mena's stomach. She may have saved the play, but she had squandered the love of her prince of d'aww-kness.

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