《Lost Things》Chapter XI: Bringing Back Old Memories

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With how everyone seemed to notice John’s weaker attempts to mask himself, he might as well get a day off his work. Just a day off wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Hmm…”

But would that even do anything? Would he just waste another day at home?

Carson seemed to realize how John took his time making this decision, as he got up. “Take your time, then. I’ll be back in a bit.”

Now that Carson had left the room, John’s mind wandered as he had complete privacy in his bedroom—thinking about whether he really should take a day off. But as he contemplated, his mind wandered to his old dreams and self—where he didn’t want to visit.

So that was what had been bothering him.

John wrote things that weighed his mind down in a notebook, and he looked at the words. He could use his day off to tackle whatever that had been bothering him—whether it was stress, health, past, or his own self. Would he manage to fix all these in one day? Probably not. But seeing how he had finally gotten what had been bothering him down on the paper, he knew he could use at least a day off to face these. He might fail to realize his issues again—but now that he was a grown-ass adult, he might be more capable of this than before.

He better stop getting distracted and start planning when to get a day off. He wouldn’t want Carson to do the job of asking for him—he might as well head to work tomorrow, continue as usual, and request for a day of break. Just a day would be enough.

As John woke up again on the day when he was supposed to take a break, he was about to resume the usual schedule—getting dressed up, making breakfast, and heading out to work—until Carson reminded him of the break.

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At that moment, the moment he asked for a break day at his workplace yesterday felt unreal to him. He really said asked for that, and he got away with it… It sure wasn’t an experience he wasn’t too used to, as he remained inside the living room with Carson. As John was about to head upstairs, knowing that he had nothing of importance to do there, he turned to Carson. “Aren’t you not going out with Virgil?”

“Eh, no. I thought you’d be lonely inside here. Unless you’re going out today.“

“I see… Do you have anything to do down there?”

“Hmm… Oh, wait. You’re heading back to your room, right?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Alright, I’m coming too.” Carson then followed John upstairs, then inside his room.

John placed himself down on his desk and grabbed the notes he had written the day before. “If you have anything to ask, then feel free to interrupt. I’ll be working on this journal, and let you do things here… Wait, you haven’t snuck here before, right?” John glanced at Carson, watching him looking around the room.

“I haven’t, yeah.”

“Alright. I guess today’s your day too, then.”

John looked at the notes of what he wanted to do on his break day—tackling and sorting his stressors out. As he thought about his problems, he wrote some things from his mind down inside the note.

Health. His health hadn’t been the best over the years, but it wasn’t bad. But as far as he could remember, it may get particularly worse during seasonal changes or under stress. He remembered how it was raining a few days after he ended up getting some sort of reaction from dust in his room back then, and with how the clouds looked today, it could rain again sometime. Along with the season, stress definitely played a part in his health’s downs too.

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Now, speaking of stress… Constantly putting on somewhat-more-presentable personas was definitely not a good habit, but it’s not like he would suddenly quit doing that after today’s reflection—he still needed it to maintain this status quo, where he wasn’t too powerless to do anything. He couldn’t even recall when exactly did he develop this tendency. But it’s probably fine if he kept it—he felt much in control with this habit, after all.

As he thought about feeling safe, his eyes glanced at Carson who was skimming through a book about the Salore family’s history. Carson seemed like a different person than who he was in the first few weeks they were together. Funny how people seemed to change, and yet, you couldn’t even pinpoint where or how did they change.

“What are you looking for?” John asked as he turned himself on the chair.

“Just looking for more stuff about the Seven Seas. Also, how old’s this book?”

“This version wasn’t that old, but I’m sure it has things tracing back hundreds of years ago… You know where to look for the Altavista section?”

“I’m looking for that exact word.”

“It should be somewhere around the seventieth page, I think. The migration to Magius starts around that page. Also, I didn’t know you’d be interested in history.”

“Oh, no. Not really. Just trying to remember what I’ve learned from my family.”

Knowing what had happened to Carson’s family (from hints of Carson’s words and what Virgil told him), John was speechless for a moment—as he saw a glimpse of a serious expression from Carson. “I see. Say, what do you want to do from now?”

“… I don’t know. It’s still too dangerous to go back to adventuring or fighting outside this place, since those bandit groups probably remembered me.”

John nodded. If he was being honest, he was lost when it came to what he wanted to do next with his life, too. “Do you like fighting?”

“Sort of. I haven’t really fought anyone with my magic for a while.”

Knowing that his health could use some work, and he hadn’t had much opportunity to fight with his magic—he had an idea. “How about we go fight somewhere? I’m sure there’s an empty ground near Ironport. No one’s really using that spot.”

“I didn’t know you’re the type to fight too.”

“Used to. Haven’t had much opportunity to knock someone out as an auctioneer, save for some rare occasions.”

“Oh, alright. You got any magics aside from gold?”

“Nope. Yours is just wind magic, right?”

“Mhm.”

“Alright. Let’s head off then. I’m getting bored.” As John said the last sentence, he glanced at his notebook, where he stopped writing about his past. Going out to fight might put him in his past mindset better. “We’ll stay near Ironport—and if anything happens, I’ll handle it.”

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