Chapter 60

Mid-Life Crisis

These new Prolaxians were tough. Well tougher than the normal ones. We found that there were two new types, the Mental and Magical kinds. Both were resistant to my Mind Rend. While I could still use Mind Rend to find them, the effects of Mind Rend on them were less than ideal. There was no effect at all. No, just because I couldn’t kill them all in one go didn’t mean I was useless. It just meant there was a bit of a challenge.

Or as Goldie called it, his nick name for himself, not mine, “the Elites are the only one’s worth fighting anyways.”

Now I don’t want to be that guy, you know the one that first meets a person and says, hey you have a drinking problem. But from what I could tell Goldie, his transition name, had a drinking problem. What he was transitioning too exactly, I wasn’t certain. From everything I could tell it was to a semi-retirement state.

Every day we would fight. Then every night we would go to a Dwenvarian bar, where dozens of beautiful Dwenvarians would serve us alcohol. The women would fawn over both of us, until Goldie would get a possessive look in his eye and then tell the women that were close to me “he’s my bro.”

With that, they got the hint, as they all backed off. That was great, as I don’t like casual sex. Some people can do it, I can’t. Even now I feel an attachment to the women who I married from my previous lives, well memories of my past lives. Crazy I know, but I think that is part of why I still feel so attached to Jess. Not so much the train wrecks, they were all fun for the time, but I can easily leave them behind. And no, before you ask, I will not tell you, their names. I do not kiss and tell on train wrecks, they have a way of crashing into your front yard at 2 AM on a Saturday, literally. So, I avoid even thinking about them, unless I want to subconsciously summon them.

“HIIYAAHH!” Goldie shouts.

That is my cue to be on guard. I turn to see that he is battling a Mage Elite. The only problem is, he like always, is excessively drunk. Like so drunk that I am concerned for his kidneys, though I have learned that Dwenvarian kidneys are super resilient to toxins. That said, while his body might be resistant, his mind and perception are not. Thus, we get attacks like these.

Whoosh!

Smash!

His mighty hammer flies, only to slam into the nearest wall. The Mage Elite easily side-steps the cumbersome attack.

“I keep telling you, aim for the one in the middle.” Jenna Da’anvil, his handler states. See, I finally remembered her name, aren’t you proud. I am terrible with names.

“That was the middle…” Goldie calls back, his breath heaving.

I almost want to cast a Cleanse-X on him so this fight can go smoothly, but I pause. Last time I cast a Cleanse-X on him, and he found out, he was irate. We nearly came to blows. Fortunately, I used Telekinesis-X to keep him away, but he just got super angry. Then to exacerbate the problem he began downing gallons of alcohol right there on the spot. That is when Jenna took me to the side and explained that I needed to let him go through this process at his own speed. I nodded, realizing that alcohol might be what helps power his inhuman abilities.

For the minute he connected, the monsters were torn to paste. The only problem was, he was becoming less and less accurate as the days went on.

Fortunately for all of us, the Mage Elite begins casting a spell. Instantly I begin using my Spirit-X to take control of the spell that is being formed, change a few parameters on the spell. Then change the spells destination to the origin point, then release. This is a process like flinging rubber bands, to fire a rubber band at someone, you take the band between your two hands then pull. Then let go of the hand closest to you, so the rubber band will fly away from you. Instead, I just reverse hands and let you fire the rubber band at your own face. Though instead of a rubber band, it is a giant lance of intensely compacted arcane energy.

These elites have a lot of powers that I have never seen before. I would be totally afraid of their newfound battle prowess, if I wasn’t so certain I could handle any of their attempts. At least that has been my understanding so far.

Whack.

The Mage Elite backhands Goldie, sending him flying. Even the mages are extremely powerful. Fortunately, that strike gets Goldie out of the blast radius of the new spell.

Boom.

There is an explosion of light and sound. The ground rumbles slightly. I can already tell from my Mind Rend that the faint mental form that was there is now gone.

“Did we get him?”

“I got him!” Goldie calls out, as he dashes into the dust cloud and valiantly swings his hammer.

Wham!

With that one mighty swing, the dust that was in the area parts. Instantly we can see the direct results of the initial blast and attack. The monster is well and truly crushed and fried.

“I got it.” Goldie calls out excitedly. He got the femur of the monster, somehow. Hardly a crippling blow, but the monster was already dead thanks to its missing head. A head that was blown off thanks to a spell that backfired magnificently.

Tink, tinkle, tink.

The sound of dozens of tiny metal coins sounds off. Suddenly I feel like I am in Vegas, after just hitting the jackpot. The sound is irrefutable proof that I was the source of the kill. As those are my certs being generated from the kill. I am still not fully integrated with the system, so they don’t get automatically added to my pool. Instead, they get generated and thrown onto the ground like some littering fountain of chrome.

With the sound all eyes turn to me, especially Goldie’s. Goldie looks hurt. No, almost betrayed by the sound. Seeing his expression, I can’t help but feel sorry for him.

“Sorry, you would have killed him.” I say, as the thousand or more certs get generated around me.

Goldie looks at me and opens his mouth to say something. Then closes it just as quickly. Then with a defeated sigh, he seems to age a hundred years in a second. These are of course Dwenvarian years, so not much happens other than a bit of color fades from his beard.

I think he is going to yell at me, but instead he just stands upright and turns to Jenna. “This is the problem with having the best Bro available on your final hunt. They always take the final few kills.”

Hearing that, Jenna smiles warmly. “Indeed, it is, they always seem like a young upstart trying to take everything from you. Only later can you realize it is just their time to truly shine.”

Seeing their exchange, my heart went out for the two. It was clear they had deep feelings for each other. Apparently, Jenna had asked Rendius, or the Goldhammer, to be his bro. Which is apparently a position of honor and prestige. Judging by their exchange it seems that on Jenna’s last run, Goldhammer took most of the kills as well.

There is a brief awkward moment of silence as the two stare lovingly into each other’s eyes. Then a sad sigh escapes Goldie, as he asks a deep question. “I think this is it. When is the last day of this contract?”

“Today is the last day of the contract.” Jenna answers crisply.

Hearing that Goldie nods in understanding. “Then tonight it is, while I would love to have another ten-day contract to prove if he is worthy. It is beyond clear that he is fully capable of fulfilling the rites of being my bro.” Goldie says to Jenna. They are talking about me, but I don’t mind.

“So, we will have a victory celebration tonight, to mark your transition?”

Hearing that Goldie paused and nodded. Then closing his eyes, he tilted his head to the ground. “Indeed. Let’s clear up here, then move out.”

“Sir, we have already killed all the Prolaxians that appear on our scans.”

“Very well then, what are we waiting for?” Goldie asks, somewhat impatiently.

Jenna then turns to me, and then looks at the pile of certs at my feet. “I believe we are waiting for your bro to clean up after himself.”

“Yeah, look at that young pup, just rolling in his own successes.” Goldie says, in a playful mocking tone.

With that I begin collecting the certs that are on the ground and apply as many as are needed to get me the next available magic ability. I had already traded away the Psionic certs, as there was nothing else for me to purchase with those. Why would I trade in certs? Simple, that was the only currency accepted to truly buy mechs. I could use crypto to buy a lot of the accessories, but to get the basic suit, that cost certs. Hundreds of certs. Fortunately, I had been making a rather sizeable contribution to the attacks we had been pulling off over the last ten days. I had more than enough for the base model, and this should put me well into the realm of the mid-tier models. The cost of upgrading to the advanced and diamond tier models were astronomically stupid. So, I decided to be content with just the mid-Tier models.

That said, these certs were some of the few that I gained from magic. Again, support users have a hard time showing contributions to attacks. Which is why my only real way to gain Magical Certs is by turning attack spells against the original caster.

Humm.

There is a gentle humming sensation as I apply more and more certs to my magic ability. Then I feel a mental click as I get final cert needed to push me to the next level. There are still a few hundred certs left, but rather than using them for the suit. I instead use them all to keep pushing me closer to the goal of my next thousand magic certs.

When the last cert is applied, I realize I am 728/1000 towards my seventh and second to last Magical ability that will be made available to me.

Holding my breath, I think good thoughts. Close my eyes and my mind’s eye as I center myself.

Then I open the notification that lets me know what new power I have obtained. Instantly I sour, as I realize the system hates support mages.

New Magical Aptitude unlocked: Physical Attribute Boost 99+%

I look at the new power and pause. My elite power, one of my hidden powers to make me stand out as one of the pinnacles of my class, is an Attribute booster. I can’t help but think the universe is mocking me in some way. Stupid Wizard Kyle got Teleportation, Time magic, and a whole slew of other cool abilities. But rather than getting one of those spells, I instead get an attribute booster.

Shaking my head, I don’t even want to try to the spell. I hope that if I refuse to use the spell it will magically change to something worth a damn.

“What did you get?” Goldie asked.

As the certs disappeared it was clear that I didn’t wish to turn them in as a payment for my mechanoid suit. Well now that I know what the alternate was, I would gladly go back in time and spend them on increasing my mechanoid suit. A device that would do the same thing as my new spell, all except in the form of a suit that would let me travel in space.

“Well come on. We have a transition party to throw.” Jenna said, clearly seeing that my mood was souring.

With that I shook my head and began following the two. While the effects of my ten-day contract might not be that much, I did gain enough for a slightly better than basic model of suit, one that can be modified and improved upon later. Then I also got one step closer to completing my Prime Support class as a mage. I had a feeling I would dislike the next few abilities just as much as this one, but still I wanted to see what I would get. Even though I knew I had been dealt a shit hand as a mage. Still, some of these spells might be beneficial somewhere.

Also, before you all complain, know that I am happy for the spell. It can likely do a lot to help people survive. The only problem is, I need to be able to generate contribution points in battle. These types of abilities do little to nothing in battle to help with generating certs for me. In fact, even my passive healing ability did little to generate certs, and instead only caused Goldie to apparently need to drink even more alcohol.

“Come on. Tonight, I celebrate my new life of sobriety.” Goldie says, as he gestures me to go forward with him.

“Sobriety?” I ask, wanting to check my ears.

“Yes, today proved that my best days are behind me. That I was only lying to myself about the inevitable future.” Goldie said, a slightly morose tone.

“But first we party!” Jenna said, cutting in and breaking up the somber mood that had befallen us.

“But first we party.” Goldie said. Then he turned an eye towards me. “You will be there, right?”

I was about to give my reply that I wasn’t feeling much like partying. But before I could Jenna cut in. “I do wish to remind you, that in order to get your 15% bro discount, you do need to be at this party.”

With that, I remembered the one clause. The clause that made little sense with its wording. The contract was for a full ten days, meaning it went until midnight and that I had to be Rendius’ bro until the end of the contract.

At this point I once again felt they were using a word that meant something entirely different in their culture, but a 15% discount was 15%. That discount was more than enough to get me the top-of-the-line mid-tier mech models. Ones that could have multiple attachments added, attachments that could be purchased with standard universal cryptos. Still, there seemed to be something funny going on with this party.

“I want to point out that the bro discount is for life.” Jenna said.

As soon as I heard that, I realized I had to do this. Whatever they had planned, surely it was worth this one night. A lifetime bro discount not only meant that I would forever be granted a 15% discount on all Dwenvarian purchases. It also meant that I would never be denied access to Dwenvarian shops. That second aspect alone was worth the hassle of going to a party. With that, I swallowed my protests, and put on as fake a smile as I could.

“Let’s do it, I’ll be your bro.” I say to Goldie.

With that Goldie let out a sigh and smiled brightly. Honestly, I didn’t think the old space dwarf would be so sentimental about a party, but apparently this was a big deal to him.

I knew I should feel flattered, even though there was clearly some sort of subtext that I was missing.

“HUZZAH!” Goldie exclaimed as he picked me up and twirled me around. Not an easy task, considering his small size. Though he did grab me around the hips and lift, so there was that.

One party to gain a lifetime discount and permanent access to Dwenvarian shops and merchandise. The whole thing sounded almost too good to be true. I had a good feeling about this, even though I knew I was still being exposed to whatever natural endorphin Goldie was releasing. I knew he wasn’t releasing it on purpose, as I didn’t detect any malicious intent from the action. This was apparently part of his transitioning and something I needed to be more understanding of.

So, all I needed to do was survive one night at a party with a supposedly reformed alcoholic of a space dwarf. What could possibly go wrong?