《The Bartender at the End of the Universe》Ch 240: The Rise of the Tattletale
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"It burns..." His voice was coarse and dryer than a desert. Like his throat had been turned to beef jerky.
"Shh. Calm yourself my knight." Her voice was gentle and soothing. "You must persevere. Pass through this challenge to find your true strength."
He was silent for a moment, but then managed to raspily reply, "I...I will do my best."
"That is all I can ask of you my sweet champion." She cooed in a voice more calming than mere words had any right to be.
"I think it almost killed me." Minabous sighed. "It almost felt like my mind was drifting away from me. Like it was trying to abandon my body to avoid the pain."
"You're exaggerating," Stoor scoffed.
Minabous puffed out her chest as she raised herself as tall as she could. "Yeah? Then why don't you go over there and see for yourself?"
Stoor coughed awkwardly. "Well, you see I am rather busy. I do not know if I'll have enough time."
"Uh huh," Minabous scoffed with clear disbelief.
"What's all this idle chatter about!" Harold demanded as he strolled up to the giant worm and bovine woman
"Hey, I finished all that work and junk." Minabous declared. "It's right over there all ready for you to check it."
"Hmm? Oh, right. Your punishment." Harold mused. "I think I shall take your word for it."
"What..." Minabous snarled. "You mean you aren't even going to check?"
Harold shook his head. "I'm a busy man," he explained. "Besides, your expectation that I would check your work is more than enough to make sure you did a good job."
Minabous clenched her fist as she glared at the middle-aged man.
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"I thought your name was Harold, not 'a busy man,' " Stoor joked. "Must be confusing when you're trying to relax at a resort!"
"Er, uh...yes, I suppose so." Harold agreed as he obviously completely missed the joke. "My life is fraud with work hoisted onto my shoulders by incapable subordinates."
Minabous slapped her palm against her forehead. Then, she seemed to have an idea as a wicked smile crept on her face and she turned to look at Harold.
"You know," she said. "I did see a couple people I think you should really check out."
"And why would I do that?" Harold sighed wearily. "I am not here at the beck and call of you students."
Minabous raised an eyebrow. "Huh? Student?"
She shook her head and then smiled again. "Sorry, what I meant to say is I saw two...students...that were causing trouble."
Harold dismissibely waved his hand towards her. "The squabbles of you children are far below my priorities. Just sort it out amongst yourselves."
She let out a groan and slapped her forehead again. Then, her eyes flung open and another smiled cracked across her face.
"Actually," she explained. "I think it does concern you. You see, I overheard they were planning to destroy your..."
She paused a moment, as she seemed to struggle to think of thr right word. Then, it came to her. "Office! Your office of course!"
"What!" Harold immediately perked up as she mentioned how he could be at risk. "Don't tell me. Did they say anything about a stink bomb, or super glue?"
"Why, now that you mention it, I think they did." Minabous said with a small nod.
Harold straightened his cheap tie, and flattened down his combover with his hand. "Thank you for your assistance young lady. I'll be sure to reward you properly once this scum is dealt with!"
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"Oh no need for a reward," she said with a grin. "I'm just doing what's right."
Harold nodded. "Ah of course. Very well, the good deed shall be its own reward."
"Now!" Harold commanded as he straightened up even more. "Where exactly are these hooligans?"
Minabous pointed over towards a small doorway. "They're just past there." She said. "If you hurry, I'm sure you'll be able to catch them before they start their dastardly plan."
Harold nodded and stormed off towards the direction she pointed out.
Stoor simply watched the exchange. Other than his joke he seemed content to sit passively as they went back and forth. But, as Harold walked away, the giant worm leaned down towards Minabous. His tendrils slithered from his mouth and waved around her.
"Did you really just send him in there? After you said their words alone nearly killed you?" He asked.
She nodded proudly. "You better believe it."
"Or what?" He replied.
"Huh?" She asked.
"You said I better believe it. What happens if I don't?" He asked.
She let out another weary groan and shook her head. "Really? That's what you came up with?"
"Well, they can't all be gold." Stoor chuckled.
As they talked outside, Harold made his way deeper into the building. In the distance two voices could be heard. Their words were obscured, but it was clear that they were arguing about something.
The voices got louder and louder. Finally, Harold reached a corner and their voices were almost clear enough to under stand.
As he turned the corner, Harold shouted. "Aha! I caught you!"
"I don't understand. It's supposed to mean the opposite of how it sounds?" The jagged man with round glasses asked.
Azrail nodded. "More or less."
"Well that's dumb. Why would they do that?" He asked.
Azrail's eye twitched slightly before he closed both eyes and shrugged. "I'm afraid that I do not know."
"Why not? Didn't you say you knew a lot?" The man with sharp angles asked.
"I do not know a lot." Azrail clarified. "I already told you that."
"But then, why do you talk and act like you know so much?" He prodded.
The smiling man put his arm on Harold's shoulder and leaned on him slightly. "Enjoying the show?" He asked with a chuckle.
Harold stood there dumbfounded as he seemed to struggle to find what to say. All while Azrail got more and more frustrated as his one man audience kept poking holes not just in his story, but in almost every word he tried to use to explain himself. Like drops of water dripping down one after the other, Azrail's patience was slowly worn away.
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