Given the high price, I’m thankful that the process is slow.

Each spoonful the system takes from my shed feelings, memories and very self takes time. It steals the production of meaning that made me a sentient being capable of overriding the biological imperatives. Each time just a second or two, but that was another opportunity for me.

I never really noticed this ‘dust’ was there, and given the changes in the structure of my soul when the three spaces melded, I may have lowered the threshold for me to sense this intrusion. The milky white background with the black, floating balls of lights and so much else. Even the contrasts help me find everything no matter how small, especially as the system's movements make it obvious there is almost like a dust cloud orbiting the center of my soul.

And once you see it, it is impossible to miss.

Last time around, it only took seconds to gift a good portion of my Aether to Pando, though I have no way of precisely measuring that time.

I struggle to push a few words out even as my will tries to fight the system:

“Stop…”

“It cannot be stopped…” The judge says even as the automaton remains silent. “Why would you deny such a gift from the system…”

I marchal my will and ask:

“I thought the system couldn’t… steal pieces of my soul, it can’t even heal… how could it do this?.”

“Ohh, you can feel that? Don’t worry, those are just like dead skin cells, you don’t need more than a handful left. Its only use is to make Attuned Aether.”

That single statement makes it clear: my path is not theirs.

Qi is my path, breaking ‘rules’, arbitrary rules of those I don’t recognize is my path. They don’t even see. They wield immense power and they could end my life with an errant flicker of their finger, but they don’t see….

The judge likely wouldn't even need a full flicker of his finger while inside his courtroom, something that feels a bit like my Inner world. But all their vaunted strength is based on the system. Is based on following a narrow set of rules and I want to trailblaze.

Even Aether, that is in a small way breaking rules such as Alex’s advancing to level 101+ in skill narrows down to an early achievement that many others are expected to match even without any extraordinary effort in time. He just got a shortcut.

But how could they not see the system stealing this from right under their nose?

And unlike most other aspects where the loss was subtler. This time the return is not the usual steal 100 to return 99 deal. It seems to be stealing 90 percent, though my senses outside my soul were limited. My very being was going down a drain, entering the void to never return. But each clash teaches me.

I change and become who I need to be. The dust that the system steals… I can feel it changing how much I’m. It may look to be dead skin… but it’s so much more. Just like our skin is abrasion protection and hair is thermal insulation, these motes, discarded from my very very being seem to be an integral part of fueling my natural Aether field and the system was trying to palm most of it?

I do not agree with the trade-off and so: I give myself entirely to the task.

“I refuse.”

I harden my soul against the system’s intrusions. I prepare myself and try to at least misalign and blunt the effect of its limbs reaching into my soul.

“Mine.”

I claim what is inside my soul while cursing whatever loophole the system is using to enter. Dumbass rules.

“Home.”

I try different concepts images and phrases, like I did to discover how to best push my perception field. That’s when I push out a single concept:

“My body, my soul.”

Something very similar to how I came to think of my perception field, but there is something still missing.

The stream of particles floats away and my very self leaves before a fraction returns. But with each cycle, I get closer to achieving what I desire. The system may be the closest thing to all powerful, but it followed rules and it couldn’t apply its entire might everywhere at once.

I get used to the concept and cursing my choices even spin a little of the very Aether it returns to me. I make it my goal to interfere.

A rune forms in my mind, dragged from somewhere I mostly avoided before, but now I have no choice. I just hope he doesn’t get in trouble.

So far I managed to keep Blackwood’s “system surveillance stopping rune” just as a footnote in the back of my mind and in the modification on the walls of my soul.

We both knew that no attempt to stop me from seeing the runes would be successful, but I hoped to not have to use them during Integration. In a roundabout way, all he did was ask me not to use it and I gave my word… but there is little choice now.

I push out drawing the runes with roots both inside and outside my body a formation very similar to the one inside my soul. I modify and add pieces that I feel are missing back to it. I make it so much larger and more complex than what I remember, with all the insular runes around that they are liable to only bear a passing resemblance, but as I gift Aether and Qi while holding its concept in mind, as I make it part of my body, an extension of my will and protected from the system…

Boom.

The system’s will batters at the gates. It tries to enter my body and head into my soul, but it is repelled. Not in that it can't get through, for even the much more impressive and powerful runes that Blackwood drew are unable to do that when the system is ever so slightly determined, but this is supposed to be something I should actually want. And so its strength rivals a thousand pound sledgehammer instead of a million pound one or even something forged out of neutronium in heart of a dying star.

I almost cry out in excitement, but then the system’s will turns around and enters my body from the other side, where there is no barrier.

“My body, my soul, my domain.”

I start making more and more copies of the runes, trying to stop every approach that the system could take.

It hits again and after a couple of times, it finds a crack in between shields.

I draw on my Life resource and quickly grow the few roots inside my body and concentrate around my chest. I try to form the simplest shape and follow the angles fairly predictably making the effort airtight.

I just hope the system is not as enthusiastic as Qi, for Qi would always find a way to escape.

Each iteration, even as the first hour pass and I draw my entire being to make it better, but it’s not enough. Perhaps half of the Aether has entered my Soul, but that just pushes me to try harder. I try to push both efforts simultaneously, to power my formation with Qi and push out the system and when I start doing that, I see the first signs of success.

Instead of the instant it took, I push the time that it takes to enter, to a tenth of a second, then a fifth, half, a full second.

Each clash exhausts my will, but they are victories worth a thousand shots of adrenaline.

Ideas form and I redesign the defenses slowly, them going back and throwing my all against the system, wielding the very Aether it is giving me to push back.

Then, I realize the lack of attention that the system is paying to the unattuned Aether compared to its initial control. Listless and nearly unraveling currents floating and I see a chance.

I reach out and grab this pure Aether. Aspen and I put our backs into pulling it inside my soul not letting the system have a chance of messing with it.

The system tries to fight, but its efforts are too little too late. Barely a few drags remain behind that I couldn’t drag from the system’s tenuous grab and it still tries to push.

I think of giving up. The motes containing pieces of my former self, discarded, but an important part of my history are a small fraction of what it took until now, but when would I have such a good chance to fight the system on ‘equal’ terms?

The desperate struggle, grows easier and easier, even as the growing muscle pulling problem arises with a headache. I push my will and new muscles much harder than ever before like I blinked a thousand times with weights on my eyelids. That is not the exercise they are intended for.

The second hour passes and suddenly. It is gone.

The whole thing just… teleports away even taking the last drags ofAEther with it.

I sigh already on my knees and drop to my hands, before rolling to my back.

“Get yourself together.” I hear a voice and for a moment I can’t place it, but… ohh it's the judge.

I get up and pat down my clothes.

“I’m sorry, I got carried away.”

“You may be a headache, but it is fine. Try not to do anything outside the realms you are already exploring, otherwise, I will be seeing a lot more of you. We can also keep our encounters cordial. Even if for some strange reason you see us as the enemy.”

“You aren’t the enemy, you are a cog in the machine. The enemy is the council. Pretty much proof of that is the fact I couldn’t even opt out of the system’s ‘help’ and the fact that it can enter my soul after I have been explicitly told that was not allowed.”

“For most things, it isn’t. But there are narrow exceptions, all of which should be entirely beneficial for the user and strictly required by the system. There used to be an exception for ‘healing’, but it was closed given it was misused.”

I look at him and try to relax. Not his doing, nor would any anger at him would help me fix it.

“Ok. Anything else?”

“I will just reiterate: try to keep out of trouble. Even if you are under the system’s protections, pushing your luck the wrong way will have consequences.”

I nod at him and he just shakes his head at me. We both know that his advice will have little effect.

“You are so weak in so many ways… yet you keep surprising me. You don’t even come close to strength as even the worst of the Aether wielders in early integration, and yet…” he pauses failing to find the words, before a sigh. “I will do you one favor and not look at the source of those runes. Just explain to me why you deny yourself Attuned Aether. Most people would kill for a fraction of what you got, and you shunned it.”

“I told you… the cost. Can’t you feel the very marrow sucked from your bones, as the system steals the motes of yourself, of your former self that fuels your future growth?”

“No, I don’t feel it, because it doesn’t happen, like I said it is just dead skin.”

“Even dead skin is there for a reason.”

“I only need enough to protect against unexpected forms of ‘abrasion’ and the system never pushes beyond that point. Also, a word of caution, keep your baseless assumptions to yourself, I do not want to see you spreading rumors to the more radical groups, they have enough conspiracy theories by themselves without you adding fuel to the flames.”

I look at them and I know even more deeply than a moment before that our paths are not the same. Even the automaton is nodding along with the judge and he did not love the system.

He waves his hand and I feel myself being thrown out and driven back to the instance. Except nothing is grabbing and guiding me.

Well, if the automaton is not here, I can push my experimentations even harder.

---------------------------------

Automaton’s POV

“Aren’t you gonna go with him?” The judge asks me.

“In a minute, let him explore the Void a little bit. I will be close by if he drifts off, though I can’t protect him if he screws up entering the instance.” He looks a bit horrified before I explain: “He already left my grasp once and entered the instance on his own. I was worried for an instant, but if he survived the blender once he can do it again.”

“I can see why you say he is trouble. Last time, I thought of him as just another Aether wielder and not even a good one at that.”

“His circumstances are different, he only got access to the system minutes before everyone else.”

“Then how…?”

“Best I can gather, he had access to enough Aether to learn to use it beforehand, but not enough for proper system integration. And there was that magical forest that I mentioned, Pando. He learned to Wield Aether decently without the system’s interference. No skill levels or anything he also gave up raising skill levels with Aether quickly. His pool is low because of other endeavors.”

“That could explain part of it, but…” he says.

“A single concept cannot describe someone like him.”

The judge lets silence stretch for a few minutes before continuing.

“I… I believe when you say he is trouble for this corner of the galaxy. I saw his eyes, that determination, that belief that he can warp reality to his will… he will cause a lot of damage before he dies.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because all like him have died, otherwise… things would be different. Or he will change so much, that he might as well have died. He cornered me with his actions so I can’t even try to blunt the damage he may cause by placating him with an Aether well. If that would have even worked… I’m not so sure that the hydrogen within that particular star would have burned out by the time he is strong enough to matter. And that talk about the system stealing his sense of self…”

I take a deep breath, in imitation of my new human form and it calms my racing heart in a way I wouldn’t have believed even a few years ago.

I need to find a way to make Nash see the consequences of his actions before it is too late. Though a nagging doubt creeps in, is there even a way to do that?