《Jinsei: Resonate》[ii] Only One

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“You… don’t remember me? Well, it was only one time… so that’s kind of expected…”

The boy introduces himself with nothing but that.

Isamu attempts to blitz through any interaction with a child he can recall, only to realize that he can’t (he has never tried to keep the memories in the first place).

Within this moment, someone passes by Isamu and goes to the boy a few steps away.

“Ah! Look how big you’ve gotten! How’re you doing?”

Their conversation continues and Isamu stops listening.

“He must’ve been standing right next to, or behind me, huh? Well, at least I don’t have to question my memory anymore… Hah…

“Besides, why would anyone even remember me for anything… Why do I put myself through this over and over!”

Isamu tries to make a swift exit. With that off the plate, he can now head home. Although two things continue bothering him: the splitting headache he’s had all day and that he feels like he is forgetting something again.

He faces the crowd in front of him again. “No way other than this? Maybe I can use the fire exit, that should be empty enough… Yeah! That should work! Yeah-”

Just as the boy’s, he hears a girl’s voice from behind him, the difference being that Isamu knows the voice and that the content is vastly unlike before.

“Oh? Heading home? How nice of you to forget your little sister! Shame on you, failure of an older brother!”

The other thing he was forgetting was his little sister. “Oh no… She’s being dramatic. I’m in trouble!”

“OH! Thank goodness! I thought I was going to have to try and find you! Ahaha… You know how my phone’s broken and all?”

“Save the excuses, Nii-san…” Kasumi says, uninterested, and begins glancing at the signs hanging from the ceiling.

In a defeated voice, Isamu offers to carry her bags.

“Oh, how generous of you, dear brother mine!” She hands him all four of her bags.

Two of them, much heavier than Isamu expected when judging by the looks, nearly pull his hands to the ground.

“You’re dead the moment they touch the ground!”

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“Of course not!” Isamu gulps. “See? It’s safe!”

“They better be!” She says and begins pushing Isamu from his back.

“Oy! Why are you pushing me?”

Getting no answer, he tries to keep his balance and head in the direction he’s being pushed. “Where are we going?”

Still no reply.

“Kasumi! Hey! What’s wrong? I’m sorry… Sorry, okay?”

“As you should be! Be ashamed! Apologize a hundred times!”

“I- Can I just treat you to some ice cream or something later?”

“Deal. But keep walking!”

“Um, stop pushing, maybe?”

“Fine…” She withdraws and walks beside him.

“What was that about?”

“Nothing! Just head for the stairs. They’re supposed to be around here… somewhere…” She glances at the signs again. “Oh, there! That says it’s straight ahead!”

They reach the stairs and begin their descent. “Six,” says the marking on the wall.

Kasumi breaks the few minutes of silence. “Why’re you all quiet all of a sudden, Nii-san?”

Isamu, who seemed dazed, snaps back. “Uh… no, nothing. Just, this headache’s been annoying me all day.”

“Uh-huh. Well, I don’t want to say ‘I told you so’ but… I told you so! You should listen to me for once!”

He readjusts the way he was holding the bags. “Hmm… I should, once in a while, shouldn’t I?”

“So? Did you get the phone?”

“Yeah… This one should do for now.”

“ ‘For now’? You have to be kidding me, right? You didn’t get a good one?”

“Oh no… it should be good! It’s just not one of the new ones.”

She scoffs. “ ‘Not one of the new ones’… I can’t believe you’re my brother! Of course, you’re supposed to get one of the new ones!”

“I wasn’t buying a new graphics card, you know? It’s just a phone…”

“ Just a phone? A-are you kidding me?”

“Oh crap!” As fast as he can, Isamu tries to think of another bribe to stop the upcoming storm but can’t. There’s far too much chaos in his head. He strengthens his will and braces for impact.

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“Well, come to think of it, you don’t use your phone for much… I guess you’re right this time… But only this once, okay?”

“Uh… Hmm…” “SAFE! SAFE! SAFE!” With a sigh of relief, he checks which floor they’re on: three more to go.

After a brief silence, Kasumi continues, “So… who was that kid? I wouldn’t have caught up if you hadn’t stopped.”

“Oh, it was just a misunderstanding on my part… An over-optimistic misunderstanding, when there should’ve been none…”

“Let me guess… You thought ‘Oh! Someone remembered me! Yay!’ or something, again, right?”

“I don’t appreciate you saying it like that, though!” He tries to say in an offended tone.

“Come on, Nii-san! Why would he remember you?”

“Ouch… It still hurts to admit it, you know…”

“It’s not like you go around helping kids left and right all day… In fact, that’d be kind of creepy…”

“Hey! Who’re you calling creepy?”

“I mean, imagine someone with bags that deep under his eyes and attire this messy coming up to you and saying ‘Do you need any help?’... I’d just run away!”

He says, laughing, “I would, too.”

“If you’re aware, try to fix it already! What’s stopping you?”

“I don’t know…” He shrugs. “My mind?”

“What the heck does that mean?”

They turn as they reach the base floor and head towards the nearest exit-the least crowded one.

“There’s too much going on sometimes. So it’s hard to fall asleep. By the time I tire myself out with watching movies or listening to something, it’s late in the night… If I ever do fall asleep, I just wake up abruptly around 4. I wish it'd just shut up...”

“What kind of movies do you watch?” Kasumi says with a smirk.

“That’s not something I should be discussing with my little sister!”

“Ho-ho… So it’s those…”

“It’s not. Stop it and say where you want to get the ice cream from. Mareo came here a few days ago and told me that the stores in this mall suck, so…”

“No, it’s fine… It’s nearly 6 pm, so we might even have to go during the rush hour…. You don’t look too good either. Let’s just go home.”

“Ar-... Are you declining ice cream?”

“Yes, that would be what heading home now would mean.” She says in a monotone.

Isamu sniffles and says dramatically, “Kasumi, you’ve grown up so much!”

“Oh, shut up, please! Are you even in a state to joke around like this? We’ll miss the train! Let’s go!”

“Hey, I’m still the elder sibling here!”

“Then act like one and get your act together! Now, we’ve got to rush to catch the train… Getting you through the crowd took an extra few minutes!”

She begins rushing ahead of Isamu, who stands still for a few seconds.

“Wow, Isamu! You just never learn, do you? Now you’re even making your family be considerate of you and your problems! When are you going to stop, you piece of shit?”

He takes a deep breath, takes all the bags in his left hand and catches up.

He grabs her arm and leads her through the crowd - for the first time in the better part of a year, without putting earphones in and turning the sound up to the point where he heard nothing, not even his thoughts(which he termed more as ‘noise’ than thoughts)- to the station.

On the way, they exchange a few words, borderline-shouting into each other’ ears because of all the noise around them.

“Thanks, Kasumi.”

“Huh? What’s that?”

“Thanks for being the only one to get me!”

“Why, in the middle of this? But you’re welcome!”

The noise of the crowd and the street makes it as little as Isamu feels every time he sees a crowd and the thought rushes through his mind(try as he may, to suppress and drown it):

“I’m most likely not the only one with this ambition. Their capabilities are probably also far beyond my imagination. Why would someone like me be remembered?

“While I’m here, thinking about all this, they’re working to get where they want to! So, what reason is there for me to be remembered?”

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