“Thank you. We try,” I responded with a tilt of the head.

“The first ones took it far too personally when I burned down their little village. When you’re transported to a new world with your memories jumbled, sometimes you just need to stretch your jaws a little, breathe some fire, remind yourself what you are, you know?”

“Absolutely,” I agreed. I did agree too, but my sense of scale was a little different. Who hasn’t gotten the sudden urge to run to make sure their legs could still carry them? I imagine that was about the equivalent to what she was talking about.

“Then those other ones actually tried attacking me, which was just rude of them. Does that seem like a good way to greet your neighbors?”

“Depends on the neighbors.”

She laughed. “Well, you indulged me and played my little game. You were searching for an audience with me, you have it.”

“Well, thank you. I, uh, am honored to be allowed in your magnificent presence.”

“No need to be so formal. It wasn’t too long ago we were in the bath together.”

That drew a laugh from Patience, and I felt just a hint of heat in the tips of my ears.

“No need for formality from the rest of you either. You’re all quite the competent adventurers. Some real flair to all of you, the last group was all so professional, but you all make it look fun. The little dragon over there is particularly impressive”

Zev was trembling and looked left and right before pointing a claw at himself. “Me?”

The dragon nodded. “Yes. I was born with wings and breath of fire, building them myself…well I certainly could’ve done it, but gods, what a hassle. Definitely not the kind of thing I’d expect from any Kobold, so ‘little dragon’ it is.”

Zev passed out on the spot. Nica, who happened to be standing behind him, caught him and gently rested him on the ground, removing her own cloak and draping it softly over him.

“Now, what exactly did you all want from this audience?”

“Well, to negotiate, I suppose. Heracleum, the nearest human settlement, is concerned about you and the damage you could do to them. They’ve created a significant bounty for dealing with you. Rather than try to fight, since we know we’d lose, we thought we’d try talking with you about it.”

“Wise. I suppose if I kill you then more bounty seekers will keep showing up?”

I nodded. “That’s likely.”

“And if I were to negotiate? You have the power to make deals for this Heracleum?”

I shook my head. “Not me, but…”

“Tristus, priest of peace and negotiator for the empire.” He stepped forward and gave a low bow. “I can negotiate in good faith for Heracleum.”

She brought her talon to her mouth in consideration, forcing me to fall backwards off of her where I was caught by Patience and Tib, who gently supported me. I was still drained, and the corners of my vision were beginning to close in.

“Well, this isn’t an ideal way to negotiate, is it?” asked Ran. She shrank down, slowly taking up less of the valley until she was once again in human form, though she left a smattering of rainbow scales on her skin here and there. She then raised a hand, and a small table and chairs of stone were raised from the ground. She gestured for us to sit, and as we did so, goblins, and a minotaur appeared, only this time they were wearing servants' outfits and snooty expressions. Two of them entered from the woods carrying a dead stag, and others roots and mushrooms, while more of them dug a firepit and started cooking. The minotaur poured us wine from a massive carafe.

When I sat, I immediately regretted it. I didn’t think I’d be able to stand back up, and my vision dimmed further. I punched myself in the leg, bit the inside of my cheek to stay focused, but it was no use. I lost consciousness.

…

When I woke, it was night and I could hear laughter and smell food. I was laying on something soft, and went to sit up, but wound up knocking my head on the stone table with a thud. Disoriented, I felt a hand go to the side of my head and gently help me to sit up. It seemed that my stone chair had been changed into a stone bench, and Patience had been kind enough to act as a pillow for me. The table was full, and everyone had half empty plates and cups. The goblin servants were still milling about and the minotaur was standing still a short distance behind them, occasionally grunting orders at them. I noticed that both Tristus and Zevrack were seated directly next to Ran, who was speaking to both of them simultaneously. Tristus in common, and Zevrack in a series of gentle roars, trills, and growls. She was also writing on two separate pieces of paper, one in front of each of them. Millicent was leaning over Zevrack, watching the paper with eyes as wide as I’d ever seen them, rubbing her temples.

I looked over to Patience, “How long…?”

She chuckled, and moved some of the hair from my face. “Little more than two hours. You missed a lot, but I’m not sure it would’ve mattered much.”

I gestured to Ran, Tristus and Zevrack. “What are they up to?”

“Tristus is working on a document to formalize our relationship with Ran,” offered Tiberius.

“And Zev is receiving a very thorough documentation of draconic magic, that hurts me to even look at,” said Millicent, dropping down into a chair of her own. “Apparently, human brains have trouble with it.”

“So…we did it?” I asked.

Everyone looked at one another and nodded. “Seems so,” said Tiberius.

“Huh…and I slept through it?”

“You were awake for the battle and the dragon’s amusements,” said Nica. “That was the important part.”

I let out a heavy sigh, still feeling the exhaustion all throughout my aching body. “I think I’d’ve preferred to sleep through the part with all the fighting, magic, and death, and been awake for the part with the sitting and food.”

Patience raised and eyebrow and looked at me with a smirk. “Really? You’d rather have missed all that?”

I let out another sigh. “No… I loved it.”

She patted me on the back. “That’s what I thought.”

Tristus broke off from Ran, and walked toward us, giving a pump of the fist, and suddenly wrapping Tiberius in a big hug. “I did it! This is it cuz, this is the key to our families return! We cede some territory we never used to begin with, all the adventurers are returned home, Ran agrees to act as a mediator if we ever encounter another dragon, pays the villagers for the loss of their homes and livestock, and will not take any hostile actions towards Heracleum or it’s people’s.” He was animated, practically bouncing from foot to foot, and I saw Tiberius’ eyes widen at each provision he listed until he was returning Tristus’ hug with just as much enthusiasm as Tristus had put into it.

“And you!” said Tristus, walking around the table to me, still dazed with half my hair standing on end from laying down. He grabbed both sides of my head and planted one on me until Patience tapped him on the shoulder and he let me go. “I couldn’t ask for a better negotiating partner.”

“I was asleep the whole time.”

He shook his head. “The negotiations started the moment we entered her territory, and you gave her exactly what she needed.” He shook his head smiling ear to ear. “Wine, I’ll definitely need more wine.” He walked over to the minotaur and eyed him for a few moments too long before turning back to us. “Do you think Ran would mind if.-”

“No.” answered Tib, his smile gone as they fell back into their usual dynamic.

My head was spinning from everything that had happened, on top of the exhaustion I was feeling, it was all a bit much to deal with.

“So, how was that kiss?” asked Patience.

I scratched my chin thoughtfully. “Probably the best I’ve ever had honestly.”

“Maybe you’ve simply preferred men this whole time?” ribbed Patience.

“Hmmm, you may be right. I’ll have to slip into Tristus’ bedroll tonight.”

“I don’t think you’d fit in there with his other intended company,” she said, eyeing the Minotaur.

“Alas, I suppose I’m stuck with you for the night then.”

“You poor thing.” She looked over at Zev, still talking to Ran in what seemed to be a mutual native language. “What’ll you say his chances are of sharing a bedroll tonight?”

I smiled. “I have absolute confidence in him.” Though to be honest, I was fairly certain he had blueprints and runes at a far higher priority in his mind.