Kaaslithe couldn’t remember the last time he had seen so many ground crawlers.

It wasn’t the first time the titan had encountered a city. Back when he roamed across more contested lands, he would occasionally sack settlements in the manner a bear would raid a beehive. This fortress was larger than any of the cities or towns he had plundered in the past, but its size just enticed him further. Surely there would be many morsels conveniently packaged within the citadel’s granite shell. Kaaslithe’s only worry was whether the inhabitants would evacuate before he reached them.

To his delight, they did no such thing. The ramparts were lined with artillery pieces manned by steely eyed zealots. As he drew closer, a wyvern flew out of the city and landed three hundred feet from the nearest gate. It dropped something clutched in his talons before it hastily winged its way back behind the walls.

Curious, Kaaslithe plodded towards the object. He let out a happy grumble when he realized it was a yak. Many of the settlements that had been incapable of repelling him had attempted to appease him with offerings. Kaaslithe was canny enough to spare the groveling creatures if they continued to feed him, but they always ended up running out of tribute or made the mistake of leaving out poisoned bait that only succeeded in upsetting his stomach.

A single yak did not constitute a sufficient bribe, especially one that was coated in gritty black sand, but Kaaslithe never turned down a free meal. Perhaps they would leave out more substantial offerings after he destroyed their walls. Kaaslithe scooped up the carcass, tilting his head upward so it could slide down his throat.

“Now!”

A score of enhanced bolts pierced Kaaslithe’s neck. One scored a direct hit on the yak as it traveled past Kaaslithe’s dewlap. The superheated tip detonated the sack of gunpowder stuffed inside the bovine’s hollowed-out belly. Kaaslithe’s esophagus burst open. Clouds of smoke, chunks of charged yak met, and shrapnel spilled from his exposed gullet.

Kaaslithe’s eyes rolled back into his head, but he did not fall. The titan’s auxiliary brains instantly seized control over his motor functions, preventing his buckling knees from giving out entirely.

“Hmm. Was hoping that would blow his head off,” Zhu muttered. “Oh well. Slap a collar on that wobbly bitch!”

More deafening explosions rocked the landscape. Kaaslithe regained consciousness just in time to glimpse the quartet of chain shots whirling towards him. Three out of four of the spinning projectiles missed or merely clipped his shoulder. The last steel bola proved to be a winner; its chain fastening around the thinnest section of his neck. Kaaslithe gasped and heaved, desperately trying to pump air into his constricted windpipe.

“Fire the cannons!” Zhu shouted, giving him no time to recover.

Dozens of cannonballs struck the wheezing titan’s chest and flanks. Most of the iron balls barely bruised his scaly skin. Rapid muscle contractions quickly dislodged the few that had partially embedded themselves into his hide. By the time the balls hit the ground, the shallow wounds had already healed over.

“Alrighty, Strychnine, Shadow, give this feller a scare.”

Kaaslithe let out an alarmed hiss when two immense monsters climbed over the walls and greeted him with bared teeth. The one to his left vaguely resembled a gargantuan human adorned with gnarled tusks and curling horns. Its charcoal black skin had an ink-like quality to it and its limbs moved in an awkward, stilted fashion.

The other monster was a ridiculous combination of cold unfeeling steel and saurian savagery. The cyborg clanged its scythe arms together and emitted a metallic shriek that sent Kaaslithe packing.

If Kaaslithe had spent more time sizing up the other two giants, he might have noticed that they carried no scent and didn’t emit any heat signatures, but for all his size and might, the Silent Death was still just an animal. Already deciding to cut his losses after the hit to the trachea, this confrontation just lent his feet an extra burst of speed.

Raucous cheers rang out once the fleeing titan’s form receded into the distance. The triumphant cries turned into gales of laughter when the ogre and biomechanical raptor faded out of existence.

Zhu cuffed Shadow over the head. “This is going to sound weird coming out of me, but you really need to learn some restraint.”

The saboteur clutched his feathery crest. “You wound me, great shogun! Did you not see the terror that my masterfully crafted apparition invoked?”

Zhu groaned. Two years ago, some of his Bubble Buddies companions held a competition to see who could create the most absurd dinosaur companion. Zhu used to consider the ninja raptor to be the blandest submission. Now that Shadow was capable of talking, he wished that Wai-Fu had toned his personality down.

“First of all, don’t ever call me that again. Secondly, the whole point of an illusion is to convince the other guy that it’s real. Your robo kaiju raptor might have worked this time, but that was a totally unnecessary risk you took. Next time, just make a giant tarrasque or something. Strychnine, yours looked like a painting.”

“I’m sorry, uncle. I’ve never cast such a large illusion before.”

“Well, don’t beat yourself up over it. Most of your specs went towards stealth instead of illusions. Just make sure you get more practice.”

“Got it.”

Shrike's grimace stood out amongst the sea of smiles.

“What’s with the pout, Shrikey?”

“You should have killed it. Why did you just let it get away?”

“You saw how resilient that thing was. If we kept shooting, it might have gotten out of flight mode and into fight mode. Doubt we have the stopping power to kill it before it smashed through our walls.”

Shrike sighed, realizing that the false long spoke sense. “I guess we’ll just have to continue living with that thing.”

“Wotchu talking bout girl? You think I’m just going to pass up a titan stone? Naw, don’t you worry, I’ll be murking his ass soon enough.”

“How? It won’t return after the beating it just got. Do you plan on dragging all these cannons and bolt throwers on its home turf? I am no general, but I can’t see that going over well.”

“Only an amateur would try to shoot a titan to death.”

“Then how?” Shrike asked impatiently.

Zhu pointed at his throat. “Titans are tough, but they still need to breathe. If we’re lucky, it’ll suffocate in a few hours. If not, the chain will at least weaken it and make it easy pickings.”

“What if it shakes it off?”

“That would suck. Shouldn’t happen though. We made sure that the edges were sharp enough to cut into its scales. The links should be too heavy for its muscle contractions to push out, so it’ll probably grow another layer of skin over the bits sticking into and keep the chains anchored.”

Shrike grimaced. She almost felt sorry for the monster.

Zhu peered down the barrel of a bombard. “Oof, that is some nasty wear and tear. Yup, that chain definitely sliced him up.”

Tyto sidled up to Zhu during the inspection. “A fine victory, great shenlong. These cannons of yours are certainly impressive. I suspect they would have slain the terror outright if you loaded them with ensorcelled bolts.”

“Ultra-hard burning projectiles and cannons don’t mix. Best-case scenario, the guy holding the ramrod gets pasted. Worst-case scenario, the cannon bursts and the entire crew dies,” Zhu replied.

“I could see why it wouldn’t work with those balls of yours, but the bolts are a different story. Only the tip would need to be enchanted. If configured correctly, the heated head would never come in contact with the powder, nor would it scrape against the barrel.”

“Channelers aren’t terribly fond of gunpowder,” Zhu retorted. “Can’t say I blame them. Accidents happen whenever they try enhancing anything within thirty feet of the stuff.”

“Indeed, I could see why a pyromancer's tendency to emit sparks could be problematic, but surely the risk of an explosion would be minimal if the bolts were enchanted from a distance and then brought to the cannons?”

Zhu scratched his jaw, trying not to get annoyed by Tyto’s and the other natives' continued use of alternate lingo. “Don’t think that would work. Enhancements fizzle out fast and, like I said, channelers are super paranoid around gunpowder. Most will refuse to spark up if they are anywhere near a cannon or a gun unless shit has really hit the fan. I’d guess it’d take about a minute to hand out a bolt and safely fit it. By then, whatever the crew is aiming for would have probably moved, which would give them only a few ten seconds to reorient the cannon and shoot it before the bolt grows cold. The only thing they’d be able to hit reliably in those kinds of conditions would be structures or blocks of infantry, which usually wouldn’t be worth the cost of an enhanced bolt in the first place.”

“In that case, why not place the cannons in an enclosed structure? That would protect the powder from the pyromancer’s spark without putting much distance between them and the crews.”

“That’s pretty sharp. But unplanned explosions and inefficient loading systems are not the only issues. We actually tried dabbling with harpoon cannons before, but they just don’t work that well. The spears tumble, so the range and the accuracy sucks. On the few occasions they don’t just straight-up miss, the shaft usually ends up hitting the target instead of the sharp pokey bit. Much as it bums me out, I just don’t think harpoon cannons are viable.”

Tyto stroked his chin. “If you give me permission to experiment with these weapons, I may figure out a way to stabilize the bolts.”

“No,” Zhu declared instantly. “Gunpowder is dangerous stuff. No need to risk your arms and legs when our triple prod siege bows have been working just fine.”

“I appreciate your concern for my well-being, great shenlong, but I—”

“No means no.” Zhu interrupted. “If you really want to chip in, there are plenty of safer and more pressing projects going on. Some of our engineers are working on a vertical mushroom farm. Maybe you could help them out.”

Tyto bowed. “I would be honored to take part in this endeavor, your grace.” Zhu watched the zeraph depart, eyes narrowed.

******

Zhu let out a sigh when the light of the second sun faded. Back on Earth, he considered himself a night owl, but twenty rotations without access to modern lighting had tanked his appreciation of evenings.

“Should have invested a few points in night vision,” he muttered as he reached for an unlit torch hanging off a wall.

“Wandering the halls without an escort again.”

Zhu dropped his torch. He whirled around, claws ready to rip and tear. He could barely make out the tall figure in the gloom and didn’t see its creeping tail until it wrapped around his chest. A vicious yank knocked him flat on his back.

A tongue of flame flickered into existence and illuminated his assailant’s smirking features.

“Sarin? What the hell was that for? And what happened to your voice? You sound like you've been chewing cigarettes.”

“I was demonstrating the dangers of traveling without a protective detail,” Sarin replied, her voice back to its usual melodic pitch. “If I were an assassin, I could have gravely injured you.”

“Most assassins aren’t able to bench press a rhino,” Zhu shot back. “Next time I’ll make sure to have a lantern on me.”

“And what if your attacker destroyed your source of light? You are a skilled and powerful fighter, but you are vulnerable in the dark.”

“Maybe, but remember, the natives get their energy juice sucked out at night. The chances of me being in that situation are pretty low.”

“Would you eat something if I told you there was a one percent chance someone laced it with deadly toxins?”

“I am immune to most, remember?” Zhu replied, refusing to play into her game.

Sarin sighed. “Why take these needless risks? If you’re ever in need of privacy, you could simply admit yourself into a secure room.”

“Ah, but that wouldn’t provide foolproof protection either. Strychnine might decide to turn traitor, phase through the walls, and bash my head against my bookshelf,” Zhu snarked. After a beat, he clicked his teeth. “Alright fine, when it’s dark out, I’ll make sure to ring up some backup. So, anything else you want to talk about, or did you just want to smash my head against the ground?”

“Why did you reject Tyto’s proposal earlier? Discovering a way to shoot enhanced projectiles out of cannon would augment our firepower.”

“I figured you would be against letting a native figure out how our guns work. Especially since boomsticks are prime rebel weapons."

“Teaching Tyto how to manufacture firearms should pose minimal risk, provided he does not learn the recipe for gunpowder.” Zhu refrained from informing Sarin that air rifles existed.

“And who's to say he won’t figure that out? We constantly make that stuff. Secrets out if he eavesdrops on the right conversation.”

“I’ve already spoken with the millers and ensured that they will be more discreet on this matter. But yes, I suspect we will eventually lose our monopoly over gunpowder, which is why we should continue to innovate and maintain our technological edge.”

“Ah, but you know what’s something that the natives probably can’t copy? My ability to tame giant monsters. Our war beasts will become obsolete if guns continue to advance. I am tempted to lock all our guns in a safe and keep anyone else from learning about them.”

“Caution can be a powerful asset, but as with all things, it requires moderation. A swordsman that refuses to draw his blade on the battlefield out of fear that he will cut himself is destined to die. Firearms are one of our most potent assets and pretending that they never existed will cripple our military capabilities with little to no benefit.”

Zhu scratched his head. “Yeah, well, I got enough on my mind, so let’s shelf this discussion. What’s the status on the titan?”

“The chain remains tangled around its throat and appears to be interfering with its ability to breathe. However, it may take many days for it to suffocate. Shall I dispatch Strychnine and Shadow?”

“Let’s just keep watching it for now. I’ll send them out if it doesn’t croak in a rotation or two.”

“Understood. In addition, the luddites staged an attack on the temple. Our forces quickly routed them with minor casualties. As per your order, Zargon did not pursue them.” She gave him a measured gaze. “I do not see any benefit in showing these luddites mercy. They refuse to see reason, and these recruitment efforts are lowering morale.”

“Are they now?”

“The mercenaries know we are running out of food and are wondering why we aren’t taking greater efforts to restock our larders.”

“This place ain’t like Tannin or any of the other moons. Eating humans and other things that can talk is a good way to ensure that all the native civilizations bar their doors to us and paint a target on our backs. The only reason I haven’t completely banned it yet is because I know we’re in a tight spot.”

“The zeraph were happily helping themselves to servings of dobuwana the other day. A few, admittedly, seemed disquieted by the sight of our soldiers feeding upon neanderthals, but they were not perturbed when we fed them to our war beasts. If we ban the consumption of sophants, it will be difficult to keep our carnivores fed during prolonged campaigns.”

“I’ve already asked Aldrin and Tyto to add long-lasting rations to the list of things they need to invent.”

“I am sure they will prove equal to the task. However, that does not address our current and pressing food shortage.”

“Last I checked, the cockroach farms have been cranking out bugs.”

“Not fast enough. We require more farms to produce enough to feed all the carnivores, and would need to activate more climate regulators to accomplish that.”

“Which we can’t do either because we’re running out of biofuel,” Zhu sighed. “You’re a smart cookie. I am sure you have some ideas, other than kill every green motherfucker we see.”

“If you refuse to consider the luddites a source of food, the only alternative option would be to regulate our population. I would recommend thinning out the thralls and terminating the hellvetii.”

“No.”

“Why are you so opposed to these ideas? You’ve spearheaded countless culls in the past.”

Zhu turned around and folded his hands behind his back. “If we need to commit wide scale murder to keep ourselves alive, maybe we deserve to starve to death.”

Sarin stared at him.

Zhu peered over his shoulder and stuck out his tongue. “Hah! Got yah didn’t I! It would be nice if we didn’t have to kill anyone to keep ourselves, but our guys come first. If the situation truly is that bad, then do what you got to do with the luddites. Shown restraint though. I'd prefer if they weren't completely purged. As for the slaves and hellvetii, we’re not exterminating them and that’s non-negotiable.”

*****

As it turned out, Zhu’s protection did not extend to the lobotomites.

A stocky garja named Gratz dragged a tokai off a bloodstained table and tossed it onto a pile of corpses.

“Next.”

A bulky neanderthal climbed onto the table and laid down on his side. Gratz was just about to insert his dagger into the man's chest when he noticed the yellow tag stapled to his ear. He glanced at his companion.

“Hey, Kratch, isn’t this one a breeder?”

“Huh? Oh, no, we’re good. The kennel masters told me they’ve already collected enough samples from him. Guess we forgot to remove his tag.”

“You sure?”

“Yes!” the other garja growled. “Just carve him up already.”

“Okay. Okay. Just double-checking.” Gratz raised his dagger again, only to be distracted a second time.

A screaming neanderthal sprinted towards them. The two garja reached for their swords but kept their blades sheathed when she threw herself on the ground.

“Please! Don’t kill him!” Gliv pleaded. “He is my son! My only son!”

“Back off!” Kratch growled.

“I’ll work twice as hard! I’ll give half my rations to another worker! Just please don’t kill my son!”

Gratz, seeing no point in arguing with a thrall, lifted his dagger for the third time. He snarled when Gliv grabbed his wrist. “Get off me!” He shoved her to the ground. Mindful of his order to treat the slaves better, he refrained from stomping down on her neck. “I will thrash you to an inch of your life if you continue to interfere!”

“Get away from my son!” Gliv slammed her fist into the garja’s chest. Gratz masked his pain behind a laugh. He lifted the neanderthal off her feet and slammed her to the ground.

“Put that slave in her place, Gratz!” Kratch shouted.

The fight was over as soon as it started. A single punch shattered several of Gliv’s teeth and nearly knocked her unconscious. “Think I’ll just put her down instead.”

“Hold off on that,” both garjas snapped to attention when an ammut trotted over to them.

“Lieutenant Kodos, this neanderthal assaulted me.”

“I saw. Which is why she’ll be coming with me. Sparagmos has been looking for a test subject.”

Gratz and Kratch blanched but said nothing when Kodos dragged Gliv by her ankle. The neanderthal flailed back to life as soon as he touched her. Although the ammut was immensely strong, his paws were not suited to gripping things. Gliv nearly slipped out of his clutches several times.

“Stop fighting!” Kodos growled.

“I will not let that sick freak get his hands on me!” Gliv had never seen the notorious surgeon but she heard the harrowing tales.

“Calm down. I am on your side,” Kodos whispered. Gliv briefly ceased her struggles and eyed the ammut skeptically. Her heart practically leaped out of her chest when he whispered, “I know you are planning a revolt. I want in.”