《All The Dead Sinners》Black Ice - 12.3 (Part 2)
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"What are you saying?" Jacob opened his eyes wide. His surprise and disbelief seemed genuine.
He was a powerful man, an important man.
But he was not aware of Abigail's existence?
Or so it seemed.
It didn't mean much.
Jacob wasn't a secretary general or a member of the queen's royal guard.
However, you didn't get to a position like this for nothing.
Someone who had risen to such a position, who could function in such an environment, could fool him as if he were a child.
So he could trust absolutely nothing that came out of his mouth, no matter how sincere it seemed to him.
Anyway, it wasn't worth spending so much energy guessing whether he was being sincere or not, even if he could.
That was because it didn't matter. His fate was in Jacob's hands. He had decided to take a leap of faith.
All he could do, at this point, was hope he could fall right. That was all. Not kill himself in the fall. He had already done all he could do.
Leaps of faith weren't his thing. But circumstances had left him no choice.
"That's not possible," Jacob said.
Okay. Once again, he seemed genuinely confused at the very idea that he was talking seriously about immortality.
Desmond still wasn't convinced that he didn't know about Abigail's existence, that he didn't want to get her, just like everyone else.
But, as he had said, it wasn't relevant. In more ways than one.
Even if Jacob didn't want to capture her, even if he didn't even know of her existence, his superiors did.
Abigail had assured him that she was the most wanted prize in both Albion and the Azure Empire. That there was no difference between them, not on that point. He believed her.
For a prize like immortality, men would give up everything.
Even their souls.
And they always wanted more, especially those already at the top of the hill.
More and more.
It was never enough. Nothing satiated the hunger of the powerful people, the people who controlled the world.
He was doing this even knowing all that... But what else could he do, just stand by and do nothing?
"It is," Desmond replied, acutely aware of the uncomfortably long pause he had created, losing himself in thought. "She told me so. And I've seen it with my own eyes. Too many times. Because of her, and because of me, they attacked the academy. Last night's attack was motivated by the same thing."
"Oh, was it?"
Jacob didn't believe him.
Did he think Desmond was making fun of him? That this was just a stupid joke?
What would be the point of such a thing?
"Yes. To capture us both. They want the secret of immortality. Last night, that woman was with us last night. We fought side by side against the dogs of the Empire. And she sacrificed herself to give us time to escape."
"Sacrificed? Didn't you say she's immortal?"
Desmond grimaced.
Save it, he thought. But, if it weren't for the fact that he was talking to Jacob of all people, he wouldn't have been able to bite his tongue.
"Sacrificed in the sense that that's why she was captured. Right now they have her in the capital of the Empire."
Jacob looked away, nodded to himself. There was nothing to read in his expression.
The room was illuminated by the light of the firefly lamp.
Still, at that moment, he seemed to see the same thing he had seen when everything had been dark. When his mind had played tricks on him.
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An emaciated corpse.
That was what he saw prostrate on the bed, looking nowhere in particular.
"Where exactly?" He hadn't expected that question, of all the things he could have told him.
But there it was.
"Well, you see..." Desmond cut himself off, hoping Abigail would take that silence for what it was: a request for her to fill it.
I don't know exactly. All I can tell you is that it's a facility in the middle of the city.
They hadn't even bothered to hide her well.
Well, inside that nest of beasts they didn't need to.
"I don't know exactly. She just told me it's a facility in the middle of the city."
"She was captured last night. How did you communicate with her to know that, if it's true?"
Oh yes. He hadn't explained that.
"We are connected very... intimately. She can communicate with me by thought."
Jacob shook his head.
"Your story becomes less believable with every word out of your mouth."
Desmond opened his mouth to protest.....
"However, I don't see why you would lie about any of this."
And he shut it immediately, seeing that there was no need.
"It's not a lie, no."
"What do you want?"
"To get her back. You have to help me."
"No."
What? How dare he?
Desmond clenched his fists.
"It's not just about me. If Abigail stays in the hands of the Empire for long, if they find out what they want to know, then... the war is lost. Humanity will be overcome by these monsters. You have to make them understand the need to launch the attack. To rescue her. You have to help me."
He was completely forgetting who he was talking to.
It was as if he was raising his voice with every word. In the end he ended up shouting, demanding, as if he were the one in charge.
He wasn't in charge. He wasn't in control.
The weight of Jacob's gaze reminded him of that.
"No, boy. Did you really think it was going to be that easy? I need help. I need the kingdom to attack the capital, to save Abigail. And I'd say: okay, why not? If things were that easy, we would have won the war by now. We would have won it before it started, in fact. Do you understand?"
Desmond took a deep breath.
"I understand." His voice came out as shaky as his breath. "Then... I'm leaving, period."
"No. You're staying here."
His mind was blank.
Maybe that's why he couldn't answer before it was too late.
He was pushed against the wall. Something closed around his wrist like a shackle.
Earth. A big shackle of dirt that even bit into the wall.
Desmond pinned his eyes on Jacob, who hadn't moved an inch, who couldn't move, most of the time, under his own power, even with the help of a cane.
But that could crush him like an insect if he so chose.
This was a mistake, Desmond realized belatedly.
"You have much to answer for."
Much too late.
"At least you have one thing you shouldn't worry about. Eventually, we'll rescue your friend. We can't leave someone like that in the clutches of those creatures. That's absolutely right... No matter how much it costs us. In blood and time."
He didn't say it, but Desmond clearly heard what followed.
It's another matter if you will ever be able to see her again.
Desmond dropped his head.
This... he had acted too hastily. Made a radical decision while injured and exhausted, and sleep deprived.
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Of course his decision had resulted in disaster.
How easy it all was in retrospect....
Why did he feel terrible?
Okay, it had gone wrong. But his kingdom would now be aware of Abigail, of her situation, of the importance of getting her out of that place, and that was something though he wanted to do it as quickly as possible.
Desmond had kept many secrets and the consequences of bringing them out would fall on him.
But even if he had said nothing, even if he had simply walked away as he had originally planned, he wouldn't have been able to simply rescue Abigail and then return to his team's room, the status quo intact, as if nothing had happened.
But he had still harbored some hope in his heart.
How stupid, how weak.
This wasn't changing anything.
Desmond gripped the earth shackle, squeezing. Something stopped him from pulling with all his might.
Amy stepped in front of him, as if to protect him.
"Forget this conversation! "Amy shouted.
She said it as if it were an order. Not a plea, but an order.
What are you...?
That wouldn't do any good.
That, if anything, would make things worse.
But then... Something changed in Jacob's expression. He relaxed, as if nothing was happening here. And his eyes... His eyes, suddenly, were like foggy glass.
Jacob blinked several times, as if waking from a long sleep.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
Desmond felt a shiver.
But what is this? What the hell is this?
He pulled at the shackle, making it explode into a thousand pieces. Pieces of earth fell to the ground.
No, towards the ground.
But they didn't touch it. They disappeared.
Jacob had lost his concentration, so....
Concentration? Is that all this is about, an inner voice whispered to him?
"We just... we just wanted to tell you a detail about last night's attack," Christina ventured with a confidence she didn't feel, that neither of them could feel.
How natural she made it seem.
"And couldn't it wait until tomorrow? And what's with the faces, really?"
"You're right, Mr. Headmaster. We're sorry to have woken you up. We'll be on our way."
Christina tugged at them, made to leave the way she had come, but the director stopped her by raising a hand.
"No, since you have come, speak up."
Amy was silent. She had a look on her face... he didn't even know how to describe it.
What was that?
Are you making fun of me, of us?
Playing along?
What the hell is this?
"It's... about the power source," Christina improvised. "They had new armor, but it glowed red, not blue. It wasn't the blue fire that all their technology is based on. On second thought, it's a curious detail, but not of such relevance... to have gone that far. We are sorry. We're sorry again. It's just that... with all the experience of last night... the stress, the fear and the accumulated memories... We weren't thinking straight."
Jacob thought about it. Desmond waited with his heart in his fist, fearing his reaction, fearing the revelation that this was a sham.
"I understand what that is like," he said at last. "And there's no need to apologize. I'm not going to sleep a wink tonight, anyway. I guess at least this has been a distraction for me. You may go now."
"Yes, sir. Excuse us again. And thank you."
Christina was the only one of them who was saying anything. Wouldn't that be suspicious?
Suspicious? What?
Jacob has nothing to find out.
He knows everything.
He should know everything.
They walked out, turning off the light and closing the door behind them.
They crossed the hallway. Halfway down, more or less....
"So that's what you did last night," Christina said slowly. "When you made those soldiers... blow their heads off. I thought you controlled them directly, but you didn't. You made them kill themselves."
"Yes," Amy admitted, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before. I was afraid."
"Afraid?" Desmond asked, to say something. His mouth was very dry.
"Of how it might change our relationship. I didn't want you to have to ask if.... You know. But now... now I didn't have any other choice. I don't like it either, but..."
"No, no. You did the right thing," Christina said. "Right, Desmond?"
"Right. I'm the one who did wrong." He nodded.
"That was complete madness. That could only end badly. I hope you understand now," Christina said, unintentionally echoing Jacob. Not quite. But close enough to make him feel worse. "We've been very lucky. We can get back to normal. Don't waste this opportunity."
He looked into her eyes. First at her, then at Amy.
"I can't." A few tears slid down his cheeks. "I'm sorry, I can't. I still can't."
Silence.
It was as if he had a giant snake coiled around his body, slowly but inexorably crushing him.
"So this is goodbye," Amy said. She didn't avoid his gaze But he was sure not for lack of wanting to.
This was more painful than leaving in the middle of the night, without words, without looking back.
But it was only fair.
It was what he owed them. He had to remember that.
"I want to believe it isn't so."
"It doesn't matter what you believe," Amy said, and he had never heard her be so harsh, never heard such bitterness.
The powerful emotions contained in her words, which were like the muscles of a clenched fist, drove him back.
Desmond knew he deserved every word.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way." She sounded so tired. "But it's just that... This is, without exaggeration, the best thing that's ever happened to me in my life. The best thing."
"Me too. It's what I've always wanted. And more. I never dared to dream that I'd be so happy."
"Then why?" Amy looked at him accusingly.
"I've already said it." Desmond's shoulders shook involuntarily as he breathed, and maybe he seemed like a heartless bastard, as if to answer such an emotional and pure question with a shrug. "I don't have a choice. I really don't have a choice. I'd like things to be otherwise, but I'd end up destroying myself if I tried to do otherwise. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Really, I can't tell you how sorry I am."
He didn't look away.
But not for lack of wanting to. The looks in both girls' eyes were like drills.
It was pure pain.
You owe them this, he thought, not for the first and not for the last time.
"I don't want it to end like this," Christina said. She stretched her arms out to her sides. "I don't want it to end anyway. Come on. Let's... let's make a promise."
They wrapped each other in a group hug.
Desmond felt like he was drowning.
No, he was drifting and this was the only thing keeping him from drowning.
"We'll be together again. This is not the end," Christina said.
"Yes."
"Yes."
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