“Where did you hear about that?”

Pras abruptly said with a rather intimidating tone. Not that he wanted to intimidate Mana, but his confusion had caused that kind of pressure to just emanate from him by nature.

“Who told you that?” He pressed on. His mind wandered around on who was the person who spoiled that on Mana. His biggest guess was Eggi, yet Eggi didn’t know about the case. “Definitely not Ega nor Pitoy, right?”

Mana sighed. She looked around as she answered lightly, “You really do not trust anyone, do you?” She turned to look at Pras' eyes, “In your eyes, I really am just a pretty face, am I not? Someone who is not capable enough to find out the truth on my own.”

“You doxxed me?” Pras growled. His brow frowned, really concerned. He knew Mana was kind of weird, but he didn’t know that she would go that far to dig for information about him.

Mana’s eyes widened as she seemed startled by the question. She then looked away towards stalls located across the oval shaped park they were supposed to go to. “I-I want a cone of ice cream,” She said abruptly, “Do you want one, deskmate? My treat.”

“Why are you avoiding the question?” Pras fumed. “Why are you doxxing me?”

Outside all of expectation, Mana suddenly sulked. She grumbled, “Said a guy who kept avoiding questions and trusted no one.”

“What? You do realise that such actions are the reason I have trust issues.”

She turned to Pras, her bored queen demeanour suddenly returned. “Final call, my treat, you in?”

“Fine, vanilla. No topping.”

“Alas, at least you trust me not offering you poison.”

“Hey, what’s your point with….”

Mana didn’t bother to hear more and just walked away. Pras begrudgingly followed her but stopped a few metres away from the stall. He didn’t want to create a weird assumption from people that they were some sort of couple or something if he followed her to buy the ice cream.

She returned soon after and handed Pras the vanilla ice cream cone, then just quickly crossed the road towards the oval shaped park. Pras followed her again this time but didn’t talk much.

They both walked slowly on the pavement that encircled the park. Once a while, Pras took a glance at the people who played futsal, basketball, and volleyball in the court at the centre of the park. Meanwhile, he was also aware of Mana who was stealing a glance at his ice cream. Was she not satisfied with her blueberry flavour? And here Pras thought she loved that flavour.

“What, Ms. Doxxer?” Pras grumbled. He was still irked with what Mana had done.

“Is vanilla good?” she asked, without the slightest hint of remorse.

“I like it.”

“May I try it?”

“Gross,” Pras groaned. “What’s with you and indirect kisses?”

“I am just curious about the taste, alright.”

“Then buy a new one. I’m starting to think that you really want to spread a brand new pandemic.”

Mana sighed. She looked away as she sulked, “And here I am, worrying about someone who had such a distrust towards me.”

The response was definitely irritating to Pras’ ears. He fumed again, “Really? How can I trust you after what you have done? Killing the snow jaguar was one thing, but digging about my past, really?”

“Because I want to know more about you and I am worried,” Mana said as she stopped her steps. “I trusted you. I knew you would not dare land the final strike, yet I used my own trust to perform a childish act instead of listening to you. That moment I thought, if I land the blow to take a bit of joking revenge on you, then help you tame it afterwards, would you laugh it off as a joke then trust me like I trust you? Would that prove my capabilities to you?”

“Then you left, after you let out your anger, you just left like that. Without a word. I was worried about you, but you seemed fine afterwards. But I kept worrying, about why you were so angry and what you really think of me. I knew you had problems even before it all happened and I thought that might be the reason. But when I asked the others, they kept avoiding my question.”

“Is it wrong that I want to know more about someone that I thought of as a dear person?” Mana concluded her ramblings with a question. Her words were being forced to be steady, but her tone was shaky.

“I told them not to tell anyone else, not even Eggi,” Pras answered sternly, “And it’s not wrong for you to want to know about your friends. Normally it’s better for you to ask. But… therefore I said this matter was mostly my fault and problem. Against someone who is not broken, what you do might make sense, though childish. Maybe not for the snow jaguar case as well.”

“Was it about Taz-D?” Mana asked. Yet, Pras was without an answer.

Chasing for Pras that walked away without an answer, she pressed on, “Can you please at least tell me your side of story? Am I that untrustworthy to you?”

Pras kept walking without a word. He was pondering if it’s really alright to not tell her. Wasn’t she the girl of his dreams, the one that he wanted to keep by his side? Then why did he resist trusting her?

He glanced a bit and saw Mana trying her best to walk faster to keep up with him, causing her slightly limping way of walking to be more prominent. In a sense, she was literally trying to sync her pace with him. And that was what exactly forced him to open up.

“Yes, it’s the Taz-D case,” Pras finally spoke. “I heard from Ega that you wondered about my non-existent social media presence, that was the reason. As well as a lot of my anger.”

“You were… betrayed?”

“I also betrayed them afterwards.”

After glancing at Mana who was catching her breath, Pras decided to stop walking and sat down on a bench facing the futsal field. He continued, “The tournament’s real purpose was to seed new talents to go pro. I was a no name who was invited as an auxiliary member to a team because their ace player was unavailable. I took the bait, and right at the final, where all eyes were watching for the best talent, they kicked me out because their ace was ready to play again.”

Mana sat next to Pras. She finished her ice cream then mentioned, “Thus, what I did must have felt akin to that situation despite the cause.”

With a heavy sigh, Pras confirmed, “Yes, and even that same exact past was the reason why I threw myself to save you from Lyra or stop me from attacking you during our fight.”

Finishing his ice cream, he continued while looking at the trees, “I thought that I won’t let the likes of Lyra and Slicer take away my close friends' opportunities like what my team had done to me. At Nefelein Valley, I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t do to you what my team did to me.”

“I am really sorry about that,” Mana whimpered though still with her slight ever proud tone. “I should have not turned off the communication. I did it beforehand because I knew I would dare not to commit it if I heard your voice.”

Pras sighed, he asked the girl, “Seriously, why are you so intent on doing that despite not knowing about the respawn timer?”

“As I had I told you, I wanted your acknowledgement,” Mana murmured, “Before that, you have been avoiding me and I also thought you toyed around with the chocolate I gave you.”

“Because I thought you just accepted the confession of that guy from the basketball club,” Pras snorted, trying to defend himself.

Mana’s sullen expression turned slightly annoyed as she retorted, “I knew you were eavesdropping, but I did not know you were not listening to the whole thing. I rejected him, I am not interested.”

“Then the ring?”

Mana raised her hand, brandishing the ring on her finger. “This is my mom’s, I kept it as a memento of my parents.”

Pras felt like a total fool with that declaration. He quickly looked away and whispered under his breath, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring that up.”

Silence fell once more upon the two teenagers. Pras was lost in his own thoughts, processing the meaning of all these interactions with Mana. His mistake and jealousy driven by anger had caused their relationship to go wayward. If Mana didn’t bother to confront him today, perhaps it would have been unsalvageable.

They both watched the futsal game before them for quite a while. It was intense, but everyone seemed to have fun. After one side conceded the goal and the players were cheering, Mana finally spoke, “If I may ask, what exactly happened after the incident?”

Pras leaned back on the bench, he closed his eyes to remember clearly. Those memories that haunted him, now he wanted to face it off. Perhaps he could do it now, with Mana here with him. Somehow, her current presence gave him a serenity that he had longed for.

“They doxxed me and spread my data while only talking about one side of the story, the part where I told the opposing team about their strategy. They used their fans to… well, bully me and the people around me.”

“The problem was, at that time I already had a problem with my scholarship. My grades went down and I stopped practising traditional dance - which I often represent the school with - because I was too focused on the championship. The ruckus and problem caused by my act of revenge became the final nail in the coffin. The school took away my scholarship.”

Pras opened his eyes, searching for the view of the clear sky ahead among the lush green leaves of the trees. “You know,” he continued, “When I think about it, my downfall was already set. Whether the team betrayed me or not, that was not the cause. It was my actions to neglect everything else and also take revenge based on my rage. And even until now, I am still angry, but to whom?”

“You have to forgive yourself, you know?” Mana told him softly. “When we are confusedly angry, it is often that we are actually angry at ourselves. Because we cannot forgive ourselves.”

Pras smiled at her. “Maybe I am too brash for saying this but, I never knew you were so wise.”

“Am I?” Mana’s eyes turned sad. “Or am I just one of those who cannot forgive themselves?”

“For?”

Mana stood up, she didn’t look back at Pras when she said, “I was rather a delinquent child though my grades are usually good, my parents were strict about that. The day the crash happened, they were arguing about my declining grades. I… I kept thinking it would not have happened if I was able to focus on my studies alone.”

“Hey,” Pras called softly at her, “You know, I do think it isn’t your fault. You were not actively sabotaging anything.”

“I know,” Mana whimpered. Her voice turned shaky and hoarse. “But, if only I… I…. was not such a good for nothing.”

It was never in Pras’ wildest dream to acknowledge that Mana had her insecurities as well. He never knew someone who seemed so perfect was worried about her excellence due to past traumas.

That moment made him remembered of his saviour, thus Pras said softly, “Fight on, live on, though your love remains unrequited.”

Teary eyed, Mana turned to Pras. Her eyes widened in disbelief. She trembled as she grasped for words, “Where did you hear that? W-were you once involved in a near miss accident near a hospital in Jakarta and saved by a girl from the hospital.”

Though he kept his poker face, Pras was astonished by the question. What Diana had told him this morning once again affirmed the identity of the girl he had been looking for. He was in such disbelief that the girl who he had admired was once his saviour. Did he fall for her because he subconsciously knew it was her that saved him?

Yet, seeing Mana’s visage had turned his mind to worry about her. If he admitted it, would she be able to keep her composure? What if it had an adverse effect?

Regardless, Pras couldn’t dare to face any of those reactions right now. For him, Mana’s ease of mind would be the priority for now as she had just helped him.

He forced a giggle, “That was oddly specific you know, I heard it from a drama or something.”

“Oh…” Mana turned his gaze away, looking disappointed which also made Pras’ heart sink. “I never knew there was such a thing.”

“Well, dramas, duh.”

“I guess, you are right.”

Not daring to look at Mama's eyes, Pras averted his gaze and looked up once more while leaning on the bench. Wind blew as he said blatantly, “You know, that’s really cute of you to have your worries in your excellence. I never knew someone I looked up to had such a side to her. You are really such an amazing and adorable person.”

“Really?” Mana answered, “Am I not the one who kept chasing after your sha….”

“Ouch!”

Pras didn’t hear Mana’s words as pain stung his eyes. Some dirt had smacked on his left eye and blinded him. He tried to rub his eyes to shake it off to no avail.

Then he was startled with a shadow looming ahead of him.

“Don’t move,” Mana said. She was standing before Pras. Her hands rested on the bench’s back.

Pras tried to open his eyes, but was only able to open his right one. From her pose, Pras thought that she might want to help blow the dirt away from his eyes. Thus, against all pain he forced his left eye open.

“My left eye, please?” he asked.

“H-hold still,” Mana said hesitantly. Her face descended slowly towards Pras’. Her eyes half closed yet glared with a passionate blaze. The sound of her heavy breath was very clear due to their close proximity.

“M-mana, my eyes are up here,” Pras reminded her despite his confusion.

“Pras, that is not important now,” she moaned as her face was getting very close. Her lips steadily approached Pras’ as her breath grew even heavier. Now her body was pressed on his, locking him from moving.

Her aim seemed to be not what Pras had thought earlier. He might have been hallucinating now, but her intent was clearly a kiss. Yet, he was powerless to act. He didn’t know if he would just lean ahead and greet her lips or he would just stand still.

Also, what’s with the mood suddenly? Why did she try to kiss him of all people in such a place? Was she possessed?

At that moment, his instinct and senses exploded. He felt something coming in their direction with rather high velocity.

Pras swiftly moved aside then grabbed Mana on his right shoulder while his left hand blocked the incoming stray football.

“Wow, that was close,” he cackled. He quickly released himself from the dumbfounded Mana and kicked the ball back at the futsal players. It seemed that the ball was mistakenly kicked higher above the safety net.

“Y-you okay?” He asked as he offered his hand to Mana who was motionless.

Mana turned and accepted the ofer and stood right up, though still seemed shocked, “Y-yes, thank you, you really do always have my back.”

“Y-yeah, s-sure,” Pras affirmed awkwardly. He then pointed at a water tap near the futsal court and said, “I need to wash my eyes, be right back.”

“O-kay.”

The tall teenager hastily ran towards the tap and washes his steaming hot face. The recent incident was still too clear in his mind. He even didn’t know if the incoming football was a boon or a curse.

What on earth had just happened?