《Eternal Despair》Act Two, Chapter Four

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The 6th Killing School Game.

Pain.

This is what Makoto Naegi is currently feeling. He was suffering from a headache that was so bad that Naegi thought his head was surely being split into two. It was as if an iron pike was being stabbed into his brain.

Naegi swings his head up and looks around the room in a panic. For a second, he couldn’t even understand what had just happened. Wasn’t he near the end of the killing game? He had just been woken up from his sleep.

Oh. Did… I just. Was I…

Naegi’s eyes widen as he realizes that he was attacked. He was killed . By one of his classmates. One of his dear friends that he had been trying so hard to save… had decided that Naegi should die.

I can’t believe this… why?

He was killed by that person? Out of everyone in the killing game, they were the ones who decided to pull the trigger? Naegi could hardly believe it. He could have written it off as simply a bad dream, but he knew better. Naegi would love nothing more than to just pin everything that’s been happening as a dream at this point, but that would just be denial.

In the last moments of his past life, Naegi had looked into their eyes. There was some remorse, some regret. But another emotion vastly overshadowed those things.

It was relief.

They were relieved that Naegi was going to die.

They were relieved that they were finally going to get out of the Killing Game, completely scot free.

Naegi clutches his head as his headache starts pounding harder. It hurt so bad that he thought he was going to die before he could even walk out of the room. Fresh, savage pain shot through his brain, completely scrambling any attempts of rational thought.

Gasping, Naegi squeezes his eyes shut. This was terrible. Everything was terrible.

Somehow, Naegi manages to stand up from the desk. His headache had lessened, though only slightly. It still felt like someone was continuously smashing his head in with a hammer. Every single step he took only served to heighten his suffering. He could barely see straight, but he somehow still managed one rational thought.

I’m going to have to… act.

In order to survive. In order to prevent himself from being murdered again.

He would have to fake everything. His emotions, his reactions…

He would need to lie over and over again to his classmates. They wouldn’t be seeing Makoto Naegi - just a simple act of what Makoto Naegi used to be.

But if acting was what would let all of them escape this place alive… then he would do it. If that’s what was needed to bring Junko out of her locked room, he would do it.

He will escape this time loop. Then, he will escape this damned school with all of his friends, alive.

He would do it over and over again. Naegi will not give up.

Not until he drove himself insane.

What Naegi didn’t expect, was for him to fail miserably. He acted surprised when necessary, and feigned ignorance in all of the right places. He didn’t do anything stupid like predict what Monokuma was going to say, and he even went through the same conversations with his friends.

But Naegi was a terrible actor.

He couldn’t have told a simple lie even if his life depended on it. The only people who Naegi could deceive were people like Hagakure and Asahina. If he even tried to lie to anyone else, he would either be met with suspicious glances are straight up confronted.

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So if Naegi couldn’t tell a single lie, then how could he have faked his emotions for several weeks? The answer was that he couldn’t. In the end, he was still labeled as a traitor. In the end, no one had believed his pleas. It had all repeated the same… except for how he died.

Instead of being killed in his sleep, he was just straight up ambushed while walking in the halls. But even with this difference, it still wasn’t all that different. After all, it was the same exact person who had decided to kill him.

Naegi couldn’t fake how he felt. So what could he do?

He could learn.

After his first attempt, Naegi had decided that he needed to learn how to lie. It was detestable - Naegi disliked lies. Whenever he tried to lie, or even keep a secret, he always felt a huge amount of guilt, threatening to eat him up. Even if he had good intentions, lying just made him feel ashamed . To add insult to injury, Naegi had always felt really nervous when trying to deceive someone. For whatever reason, his heart just starts beating a hundred times faster and sweat starts to drip from his face.

That wouldn’t do. That wouldn’t do at all.

Naegi needed to learn how to lie.

So who better to learn from then the Queen of Liars herself?

The 7th Killing School Game.

...

Naegi focused most of his attention to Celeste. He had basically taken Yamada’s place as Celeste’s servant. He did everything for her - serving her royal milk tea, listening to her problems, carrying her stuff around, taking out her trash… Celeste treated him a servant, one that was willing to do whatever she said.

But eventually, Celeste had stopped seeing Naegi as a personal slave. She wouldn’t admit it, not even to herself - but she had started to like Naegi. She would feel… happy whenever Naegi went to talk to her. To Celeste, Naegi had became a friend. In fact, she considered him a B rank - though she would always tell him that he was a C rank when he asked.

When Monokuma had revealed her secret to everyone, Naegi had understood . He didn’t brush off her secret as something that wasn’t important, something that she had exaggerated. He had treated it delicately, and for that… Celeste respected him.

So when Naegi had come to her with a request, she was happy to comply. Though she had been somewhat surprised that someone like Naegi wanted to learn how to lie, she had understood. They were in a killing game, and openly showcasing your emotions to everyone around you could be dangerous. Teaching him how to build a perfect mask was the least she could do for the boy.

She played poker with him, for hours on end. At first, Naegi was terrible. She could read his eyes easily, and could even tell exactly what kind of hand he had. But after some time, along with a few tips and lectures from Celeste, had had gotten better.

Not good mind you, but… better. And she would be happy to train him until he had almost reached her level.

But when Monokuma told everyone he was a traitor, they had believed him. Celeste thought this was idiotic - why would they believe someone like Monokuma? Why couldn’t they see that Naegi clearly wasn’t the traitor?! She had tried her damned hardest to argue for Naegi’s innocence, and as calmly as possible. When that didn’t work, she flew into a rage and insulted everyone. It didn’t matter.

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She was outnumbered. Naegi was outed from the group.

Celeste had lost her only ally.

The 8th Killing School Game.

So when Naegi had come to her with a request, she was happy to comply. Though she had been somewhat surprised that someone like Naegi wanted to learn how to lie, she had understood. They were in a killing game, and openly showcasing your emotions to everyone around you could be dangerous. Teaching him how to build a perfect mask was the least she could do for the boy.

She played poker with him, for hours on end. At first, Naegi was only average at best. She could read his eyes with little trouble, and could even call out his bluffs almost every single time he tried. But after some time, along with a few tips and lectures from Celeste, had had gotten better.

But when Monokuma told everyone he was a traitor, they had believed him. Celeste thought this was idiotic - why would they believe someone like Monokuma? Why couldn’t they see that Naegi clearly wasn’t the traitor?! She had tried her damned hardest to argue for Naegi’s innocence, and as calmly as possible. When that didn’t work, she flew into a rage and insulted everyone. It didn’t matter.

She was outnumbered. Naegi was outed from the group.

Celeste had lost her only ally.

The 38th Killing School Game.

When that… ‘thing’ called Monokuma had revealed that they needed to kill each other, Celeste was instantly put on guard. She instantly knew that she couldn’t trust anyone anymore. She would act nice, just to throw off suspicion. But when an opportunity came, she wouldn’t hesitate to do what it took.

Everyone here was beneath her. Even that snobby rich boy, Togami was a simpleton. No one knew her true intentions, and that was the way that she liked it. She was the Ultimate Gambler, the Queen of Lies! No one here could compare to her - she would win this ‘game’.

No one could compare to her… or that was what she had thought.

Out of nowhere, someone named Makoto Naegi had approached her and challenged her to a game of poker. Normally, she would turn down such a request, but Naegi was the Ultimate Luckster… he had piqued her interest with that title. She had thought that Naegi would be a worthy opponent indeed.

She just didn’t know how worthy.

It was a nail biting set, but in the end, Naegi had come out on top. They had found a poker set, chips and all in the school. So they played a round of Texas HoldEm with no extra buy-ins. It was a three hour game, but Naegi had won.

She had lost a game of poker.

For the first time, she had lost… but strangely enough, she wasn’t angry. She was upset, sure. But Celeste knew when to concede defeat. Naegi had beaten her, but only by a hair. She knew that his skill was easily surpassable. Once she got out of here, she would refine her mask as well as her reading skills. Then, she would defeat Naegi.

She could, and she would defeat him.

The 39th Killing Game.

Naegi shakes his head. “What I think is the right thing to do is to keep Junko alive. I have to bring her out from despair - no one deserves to be like this. Together, we will water the seeds of hope planted within this world of despair!”

“Oh, come ON! Cut the upstanding shit!” Junko glares at Naegi with a look of distaste on her face. “Will you let this dumb ahoge kid boss you around?! I KILLED YOUR FAMILIES! I KILLED YOUR FRIENDS!”

“...”

“You! Togami!” Junko whirls around and comes face to face with the affluent prodigy with a sneer on her face. “You know your precious butler that was in your motive video? I personally tortured him. I saw his life leave his eyes. Don’t you want to take revenge? You do, don’t you?”

“...”

Twisting her head, Junko trains her eyes at Maizono. “Hey Maizono! You know your idol career that you worked so hard to build? I fucking destroyed it. I personally saw to it that your entire pop group was beheaded!”

“...”

Junko was starting to grin maniacally now. Her mouth stretched in an almost comedic fashion as she flashed her white teeth at everyone. Spinning around, Junko turns to look at Celeste. “I strangled the FUCK out of your dumb cat!”

“...”

“Dude, this chick is seriously fucked up.” Owada glares at Junko, clenching his fists.

“But we can’t kill her!” Naegi protests. “Through the whole game, not a single one of us let her win. No murders happened! We can’t resort to murder now of all times.”

“Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!” Junko lunges at Naegi, screeching.

“Not so fast.” Ogami grabs her out of the air and tosses her back onto the floor.

“Ugh…”

“Let’s put it the a vote then.” Ikusaba, who had been staying silent ever since Junko woke up, suddenly speaks up.

“Wait!” Naegi suddenly raises his hand up.

“Hm?” Ikusaba, who was controlling Monokuma, looks at Naegi quizzically.

“Before we vote… May I request some time alone with Junko? I really need to ask her something.” Naegi says, looking down at Junko.

“...” Junko stares at Naegi intensely, eyes burning a hole into his skull. It felt as if she was trying to peer into his soul. Then, she smiles. It was only a small smile, barely noticeable. But it was there - and it terrified Naegi.

“You want to… ask her something?” Maizono asks.

“Yes. It won’t take long, I promise.” Naegi purses his lips. “Please. It’s really important.”

“Very well. I have no issues with this. Take all the time you need, Naegi.” Ogami is the first to leave the gym.

Hagakure nods and motions to leave as well. “I dunno what you want with her, but good luck man.”

“You better not do anything perverted to her, Mr. Naegi! She’s defenseless, after all.”

“Hmph. I suppose I can give you a little of my time.”

“M-Master, wait for me!”

“Ask her whatever you want.”

One by one, his classmates leave the gym, until only Ikusaba, Naegi, and Junko were there. Ikusaba had made no attempts to leave, instead opting to just stare at Naegi. He couldn’t see Ikusaba through Monokuma, but he could tell that she was nervous.

“... Please, Ikusaba.” Naegi says softly.

Wordlessly, Monokuma vanishes.

Junko’s smile widens considerably as soon as Ikusaba leaves. Sitting up, she tsks at Naegi with a hint of amusement in her eyes. “Oh, Naegi. Are you gonna have your way with me before deciding if I live or die? Naughty boy!”

Rolling his eyes, Naegi sits down on the floor in front of her. “How are you doing this?”

“Hm?”

“How are you making me time travel over and over?”

“...”

“Please. Tell me.”

“Hahahaha… AHAHHAHAHAHAHA!” Junko laughs wildly, kicking her feet into the air. “That’s great! That’s WONDERFUL!”

Naegi flinches at Junko’s sudden hysterical laughter. It was a good thing he did, because if he had stayed where he was, he would have been clipped by one of Junko’s feet.

“You think that I would tell you? That would defeat the whole purpose of doing this! You will Despair, Naegi. I don’t care how bright your shitty hope is! It’s nothing compared to this! Despair, for all of eternity! That is your fate!”

Naegi frowns. He had been expecting Junko to talk like this, but hearing her say it still brought his spirits down. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around how someone, anyone could do something so horrible…

“Junko, why are you so obsessed with Despair? Can you at least explain it to me? From your perspective.”

Junko’s eyes widen as she starts writhing in apparent pleasure. “Despair is an unknown. Because of my super analytic ability, I was completely bored of this world. The ‘hope’ you long for is just a preexisting harmony. But despair is the only thing that’s different. The heart-racing excitement of messy despair is an experience like you’ve never known!”

By this point, Junko had started drooling so much that a bunch of it had spilled onto the floor.

“Hope is simple. A just heart, moving toward the light. That’s all. Despair is the opposite. It is messy and confusing. Despair swallows up love, hatred, and everything else. Because not knowing where you will end up is despair. It is both pain and pleasure to me!”

Junko’s insane eyes focus onto Naegi’s own. “You wanna know why I specifically targeted you for this time loop? It’s because you are the Ultimate Hope. You aren’t fake, like Kamukura. You’re real , and you’re filled with hope. So imagine the sheer amount of despair it would bring if I were to crush your spirits! Ahahahahaha!”

“Naegi… is in a time loop?” A third voice suddenly echoes throughout the gymnasium.

But Naegi and Junko turn to look at the source of the third voice. They found it near the entrance of the gym - Mukuro Ikusaba was standing there, arms crossed.

“I-Ikusaba?!” Naegi asks in shock. “Wait, were you eavesdropping on us?”

“I wanted… no, I needed to hear what you had to say.” Ikusaba shrugs nonchalantly. “Sorry.”

“Well now, if it isn’t my dumb ugly sister!” Junko says happily. “That’s right Muku, he’s in a permanent time loop! Isn’t that amazing?”

“Ikusaba.” Naegi says cautiously. Despite the fact that they were allies right now, he still couldn’t help but feel nervous around her. He just couldn’t get that scene of Ikusaba stabbing him out of his mind. It had been his first, and most traumatizing death. “Do you know how to get me out of this?”

“Oh, she doesn’t.” Junko smirks. “But even if she did know, why would she tell you the solution? The amount of despair that would come from seeing your beloved descend into insanity… It would be absolutely soul-crushing!”

“Seeing my beloved descend into insanity.” Ikusaba’s gaze darkens considerably as she repeats Junko’s words.

“Wait a minute…” Naegi points to himself. “Are you talking about me?”

...

Junko stares at the luckster with a dumbfounded look on her face. “Wow. Naegi, you know that my ugly sister here has a thing for you, right? Come on, you have to know. There’s literally no way you can be this dense.”

“Junko…” Ikusaba says hesitantly. “When you saw Matsuda die. Can you describe that?”

“Oooh!” Junko squeals excitedly. “You wanna hear, huh?”

Her eyes completely glaze over as she begins to recall what had happened. “Seeing Matsuda bleed out in front of me… Stomping on his face, as if he were a roach… Oh, it was so despairful that I could have literally killed myself right then and there!”

“The depressingly pathetic look of his body left me crying for days , Muku! It felt like my heart and soul had been tossed into a blender and then lit on fire! It was pure bliss !”

Ikusaba bites her lip as she tries to picture that happening to Naegi. She imagines Naegi dying in horrendus ways.

Strangling Naegi with her bare hands.

Unloading a full clip of bullets into Naegi.

Watching Naegi explode into a mess of blood and organs after stepping on a landmine.

Seeing Naegi get torn into pieces by guard dogs.

His pink blood, stains every single spot in her vision. She could imagine his lifeless, limp body lying on the floor pathetically. What used to be Makoto Naegi, the luckster that was filled with hope, succumbing to fatal injuries and becoming nothing more than a corpse.

“This… is despair?” Ikusaba’s body starts to shake violently as sadness crashes into her mind, almost literally knocking her over. Thinking about Naegi messily dying caused hot tears to spill over her eyes, wetting her cheeks. It was horrible.

“That’s it, sis! Do you feel it? Hold on to what you’re feeling right now. Embrace it, hold it in your heart. Now multiply that shit by ten! That’s how watching Naegi turn into despair would feel!”

Ikusaba collapses onto the floor, holding her shoulders as she starts to gasp for air. It was suffocating her. The despair was too much to hold. Junko wanted her to feel this, amplified by ten? She would kill herself if that happened.

“Ikusaba! Are you okay?!” Naegi was completely caught off guard by Ikusaba crying. In all of the two years Naegi had gone to school with her, and through the dozens of killing games he had experienced, she hadn’t cried even once. He rushes over to her and puts a hand on her shoulder. “Ikusaba!”

“Hey, since it would make him time travel to the past again, why not kill him right now?! Wouldn’t that be amazing?!” Junko suggests, eyes swirling madly. “It’ll all reset anyway. Don’t you want to feel despair? ”

“... N-No.” Ikusaba chokes out.

“Huh?” Naegi is caught off guard once again. Ikusaba had not hesitated to kill him once before. Plus, she was supposed to be the Ultimate Despair. Why would she refuse this chance so bluntly?

“... What?” Junko blinks.

“Junko… I’ve always tried my hardest to feel the same Despair as you do. But whenever I despair, it feels… horrible. Not the type of horrible that you describe, where you feel both pain and pleasure. It’s just painful… nothing else.” Ikusaba says quietly, avoiding eye contact with her sister.

“...”

Taking a shuddering breath, Ikusaba continues. “I went along with these plans for your sake, Junko. Whenever I see you happy, it always made me feel happy too. I lived for you. Junko, I love you. But I don’t love despair.”

“Ikusaba…” Naegi mutters.

“Puhuhuhuhuhu! Oh, Muku.” Junko gives her a simple smile. “Muku, Muku, Muku…”

“J-Junko?”

“I don’t love you.” Junko deadpans.

Ikusaba flinches as if she had just been slapped.

“In fact, I hate you. You have always been a disappointment to me, Mukuro .” Junko hisses. “Not once in my life have I ever thought of you as a real sister. You might as well have been a stranger for my entire life.”

“No, Junko! That’s not true!” Ikusaba cries out, nails digging into her palm. “You love me too, don’t you Junko?! All the time we spent together…”

“Uh, you do realize I tried to kill you right? How many times do I have to say it, you bitch? I HATE YOU!” Junko screams.

“NO!” Ikusaba shouts back, tears pouring down faster than ever.

“YES! WHY DON’T YOU GET IT MUKURO?!” Junko was screaming so loud now that even the other students, who weren’t even in the gym could probably hear her clearly.”I DON’T LOVE YOU! IN FACT, NO ONE LOVES YOU! NOT ME, NOT NAEGI, NOT ANYONE ELSE IN THIS FUCKING SCHOOL! YOU’RE JUST A TOOL! YOU’RE NOT WANTED!”

Ikusaba was hyperventilating now. Her entire body trembled violently. Blood slowly seeps out of her palms as her nails cut into them. She welcomed the stinging pain. She would welcome anything to distract her right now.

“That’s enough, Junko! STOP IT!” Naegi shouts. This was probably the angriest Naegi had ever been. How could Junko say this type of stuff to her sister, her own flesh and blood?! It was wrong. There was no excuse for this.

Turning back to Ikusaba, he grasps her hand so tightly that his fists turn white. A hint of nausea stirs in his stomach as her blood gushes onto Naegi’s own hand.

“Ikusaba. Are you listening to me? Can you hear me?”

Still breathing heavily, Ikusaba weakly nods.

“Then hear this. It’s the absolute, honest truth.”

Ikusaba nods once more.

“Mukuro Ikusaba, you are wanted in this world. All of our classmates, including myself - hrk!”

Naegi is interrupted as someone grabs his neck from behind and lifts him up into the air.

Junko.

She’s been out of her binds for a while now. She was completely free to move however she wanted… but Naegi had turned his back on her.

Stupid. Why am I so stupid?

“Mukuro…” Junko whispers softly as she starts to squeeze. “You may be a disappointment and a waste of space, but you’re still my sister.”

“Ack!” Naegi gasps as his oxygen supply is cut off.

“Despite everything, you’re family. You say you wanted to feel the same despair as me? I can help you with that.”

Junko squeezes even harder, her nails dig into Naegi’s flesh, causing prickles of blood to slowly flow out.

“You just need to fall into despair. Seeing this should do the trick, I think.”

“N-Naegi…” Ikusaba could only stare up at Naegi, helpless as his life drains away, She had never felt so weak - so vulnerable . If she wanted, she could easily knock her sister away and free Naegi from her grasp.. But for some reason, it felt like that would have been an impossible task. It was as if a heavy weight had been set onto her shoulders. She couldn’t do anything but watch.

Ultimate Soldier? What a joke. Ikusaba thinks bitterly to herself.

“...” Naegi’s face turns purple. At the same time, Junko gives Ikusaba a small, gentle smile. It was one that you would expect to see from a mother, watching as her child receives a birthday present. Naegi’s blood starts dripping out considerably faster now, staining the floor.

“NAEGI!” That wasn’t the voice of Junko or Ikusaba. Had someone else gone into the gym? He had been taking quite a while… well, it didn’t matter now.

“You know, I thought you already were in despair, sis. I guess I was wrong.” Junko says tonelessly.

Ikusaba had still been grasping Naegi’s hand this whole time. She couldn’t let go.

“S-Stop…” She mutters weakly.

In response, Junko tightens her grip even harder. Blood sprays out with surprising force, splashing onto Ikusaba’s face. She doesn’t even blink.

“Don’t worry, Muku.” Junko purrs. “You will feel the despair you’ve always wanted to feel. Then, we can work together again.”

“Doesn’t that sound wonderful?”

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