“Why didn’t you say anything! Why didn’t you warn me about that crystal you hid in the attic!” Nathanael rushed into the studio when sunlight appeared, still hidden behind the endless clouds.

He spent the entire night with Etta, who slept with no sign of nightmares. He knew fully what she saw. There was no mistaking it as he experienced it just the other day. He wished she wouldn’t have seen what he saw in the forest, but it was too late.

Seth was continuing his work from the last time they talked in the studio. He never removed that red stain he accidentally marked on his canvass.

“Nathanael, are we going to have this similar conversation yet again?” Seth laid down his pencil before he would do any more harm to his art.

“You said I could go looking around the house! It was you who gave me permission! I did nothing wrong!”

“Isn’t it odd to look around at night? Why didn’t you want to be seen? If it was fine, then looking around at day wouldn’t be a problem.”

“I don’t trust you!” He said it. Nathanael gave his true thoughts to the old man. “You don’t give clear answers, you always keep secrets. That forest was too irregular for my memories. Maybe you could start telling me more about those… crystals! Or whatever they are!”

“I told you this before, curiosity kills.”

“That is the problem, Seth! If you just said from the beginning, told me from the beginning, just answered me from the beginning, I wouldn’t have gone into places you wouldn’t like me to!”

It looked as if the old man tried to keep his calm. For the moment, he was managing. But it wouldn’t last for long.

This moment is too familiar. It is as if it has happened so many times before. Nathanael, wanting answers. Given nothing but cryptic words. It’s the same. Always the same. A never-ending cycle. But a cycle that gradually worsens between both parties. Nothing good comes around when this continues on.

“What good would it do to know?” Seth said. “You don’t need to know everything. You can’t know every little detail from the beginning. I also have yet to learn, to understand parts of this world.”

“What do you mean by that? Of course, people can’t know everything! I just want to know the things around me, so I don’t get into danger! Knowing is valuable, understanding what is around is valuable! Yet you barely said what the crystal would do! You didn’t say much about the forest! You are telling only the useless parts of what I need to know!”

“They aren’t useless, Nathanael. I can’t give you everything from word to word. I can only give you hints, sometimes nothing. I can’t explain, no one can explain until you yourself understand it. Yes, I made a mistake not mentioning the attic, I should’ve told you not to enter that place.”

“And because of that, Etta saw something she shouldn’t have. Whatever damage is done to her when she wakes up, you know it’s your fault.”

“Nathanael, you would have found your way into the attic even if I told you not to. You don’t trust me after all.”

“Exactly, I can’t trust you. That is why I’m going to leave here with Etta.”

Seth, the old man, began to laugh. It sounded genuine enough. It was apparently funny to him.

“And where are you going to go? The city? You don’t know the way.”

“Of course I don’t, that is why you are going to lead me there.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Why wouldn’t you? Keeping me here gives you nothing. Actually, why are you keeping me around!?”

It really hasn’t come to mind. Seth said he saved Nathanael when he was found unconscious in the snow. At that time, he was told he wore clothing unfit for the weather. He still had no idea how he ended up in this place.

Seth has kept him around for two weeks. Giving him small work, either to help around the house, go out and find supplies, or even a big one to try and find Etta’s home in the forest. He was shown places around the plains of snow, he bathed in the crystal cavern, nearly died on the hill, almost suffered horribly inside the forest. He was given plenty of food, and free roam around the house. He could deny anything he was asked to do. He wasn’t enslaved.

Yet Seth doesn’t allow him information about civilization, or any other places with other people. What is the benefit of staying inside the house? Less work for the old man? Have more people to talk to? It made no sense to him.

Was the world a dangerous place? Was the snow too harsh to travel for Nathanael? The only way to know now was to go. To leave and find what he sought. Seth wasn’t giving anything. Lydia wouldn’t help either. Nathanael was alone with Etta by his side. If he wanted to leave, there wasn’t a chance he would leave the little girl behind.

When Etta’s screams were heard in the attic, Seth didn’t leave his room. He made Nathanael do all the work to find a way up and rescue her from whatever danger she was in. Even from the start, Seth was going to abandon her inside that bunker. Nathanael is surprised he didn’t drop her back at the cliff.

What use was he to the old man? He wasn’t going to be killed by him, nor was he going to be abandoned. The crystal cavern was a too easy way of getting rid of Nathanael, but that didn’t happen. The old man even ventured into the forest to find him.

He cared for him but ignores telling him what he wanted to know. And the information he wanted shouldn’t be harmful. The old man hid what they found in the last village they slept in. Just a piece of paper made him act. Somehow Seth knew what was inside it before even opening it.

“Why, Seth, why?” Nathanael said. “The crystal. The odd forest. The red light. The bunkers and villages. I just want to know. Is it so bad to tell me? And why are you keeping me here?”

“I never once said you couldn’t leave. You can go whenever. But try as you may, you will always come back.”

“I guess that means you aren’t going to tell me anything.”

The silence was enough of an answer for Nathanael. It was strange Seth didn’t leave his chair and began yelling at him. Seth held back. And now he faced his unfinished painting and continued his work.

This talk was over.

Etta woke up in a daze. She didn’t have nightmares. Or had any dreams at all. It was just pure silence. But once she woke up, the blue and red appeared in flashes.

She whimpered as they appeared again in images. She held around her knees and rocked back and forth. She shook not just from the cold, but also from fear and isolation.

Nat came back into her room after his short talk with Seth. He saw her state and nearly broke down. But he didn’t want Etta to see him in a down matter, he tried and managed to keep his tears from coming out.

“Etta…” He closed up to her and immediately hugged her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Though he didn’t want to look down, he couldn’t make himself not say his forgiveness.

“…Mm…”

“I shouldn’t have made you go up there. I should have done that myself. I’m sorry, Etta.”

He held her with comfort. The things she saw in the attic momentarily were put aside. The cold was put at ease. Yet it would come back, no matter how many times Nat comes to heal her mentality.

“We’re going, Etta. Let’s leave this place.”

“…Mm? Where are we going?”

“Somewhere that isn’t here. We shouldn’t be here. There is a city somewhere, and I want to find it.”

“…How long?” Etta asked.

“How long?”

“…When will we come back? …I don’t want to be out there.”

“Well… we’ll find a new place, somewhere that is much warmer than here. Wouldn’t you like that? It could take a while, but I know we can find it.”

Somewhere that was warmer. It sounded nice to Etta. But she would need to fight a constant battle with the cold. How long would it take to find it? A day? Two days? She couldn’t see herself winning the fight for that long. Maybe if Nat kept by her side all the way, perhaps she could survive it. Etta could barely move on her own outside, she needed to be held and kept taken care of.

She was already in a good place, but it would be better if the heat was warmer. She wasn’t certain if it was only going to be the two of them going out. If it was only her and Nat, she would consider herself a burden. She would only slow him down to the destination he wanted to go towards. But he said it was a warm place, she wanted to go with him. Yet how could she? It was cold, she couldn’t move on her own, and the plains of snow were endless.

“…But it’s cold.”

The bunker she hid in was a frigid hell. She couldn’t remember how she found the place, or how she even entered it. Etta didn’t try going outside at the time, she only wanted to feel warmer. The luck was on her side once she found tons of clothing inside a closet, then hiding beneath them all on the bed; which was empty at the time.

Then she felt the cold again while she, Nat, and Seth went through a snowstorm. It didn’t shower them for long, but it was enough to feel the lowest of the low. Death was certain to arrive.

The cliff was also horrible. Being stuck on the rope, with no possibility of going down or up. The chilly breeze, the close arrival of the night… It made her want to sleep and never wake back up again.

Sleep was the only thing she wanted. She didn’t feel much as her consciousness was away. It felt good, much better than being awake. Yet she was afraid if she wouldn’t wake back up. To never see Nat again. Perhaps if he wasn’t there, she would have been fine to never wake back up again, so she wouldn’t feel the cold.

Clothing, sheets, blankets, beds, anything that is supposed to warm people up didn’t help her. It still did something, but not much. No matter how many layers she used, it wasn’t enough. But if Nat is around her, something inside her protects her from the temperature. Etta didn’t want to leave his comfort. He reminded her too much of someone else.

“It’s fine, Etta, you have me. I wouldn’t allow anything harmful to touch you again, I promise. And, besides, I think I wouldn’t be able to go alone without you.”

Is it fine? Etta thought, Am I not going to make you slower? Am I not just in the way?

“…I can’t walk on my own.”

“You don’t have to. I can carry you. I just want you to be by my side. You have helped me before, just by being there. If it wasn’t for you, I would most likely still see that… place… It’s going to come back if you aren’t with me. I might lose it if I’m alone.”

“…Is it okay? Is it really okay?”

“Yes! Of course, it is, Etta.”

Then she must go. If he left alone, all by himself, the cold would only be worse. Nat was her kindle, and she would never leave it to die out alone. If it ever extinguish, she would reignite it.

Etta nodded. She would follow wherever her light goes.