《Two barbarians at the royal academy》8. Result
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Today was the day, but for now it was business as usual., at least as far as miss Melbe was concerned. “I didn’t think it possible, but you’re more scatterbrain than usual.” Complained the grammar teacher, a tall, blond blessed with pleasant feature that belied her terrible personality. “I won’t punish you since today is special, but I won’t be so understanding next time.”
Auer’s knocked. She quickly gathered her book and left the room with an out of character wink. “The floor is yours, Mr. Auer and good luck: they’re untenable.”
“Hello my dear students.” This teacher was unusually jovial. “I know you’re all in a hurry to the answer to a very specific question, but I don’t have It. The only thing I have for you are the results of last week examination.”
He turned to Sylvester Wallner with a faint smile. “Before I start, I’d like to ask this mister Wallner about his answers. What were you thinking?”
Sylvester let out a long sigh. Why was it always him? “There is no way anyone can memorize all that cra… nons... It’s too much to learn in so little time.”
“Miss Varisa, I’d like to ask you the same.”
“The examples we were given were um… Overly specialized? Even if I were to memorize them all, I’d still have doubt about using them. Maybe, as a foreigner, I lack the common sense of a true Ravealian, but I don’t believe I was the only one having a hard time.”
“Is that all?” His tone sounded severe, but everyone could tell he was playing around. Whether it was a good or bad thing, was yet to be known.
“I’ll stand with Sylvester on this. There is no way that every student can memorize and understand all of this.” She sounded confident, but hoped she wasn’t ridiculing herself.
Sylvester flashed her two intertwined fingers at her, a sign of friendship and sympathy.
“You are wrong. Two people in this very room have not only memorized every spell but also understood how to apply this knowledge correctly. Ravaeas, Myar, be proud; you both get perfect scores.”
“Thank you, sir.” Exclaimed the pair with great satisfaction.
“Don’t thank me. You’re the outlier. In the thirty years I’ve worked here, there’s been less than twenty people who’ve done what you did. Sylvester, Varisa, good job on achieving a perfect score the normal way.”
Sylvester and Varisa gasped in shock. Her delight was nevertheless downplayed by her anger at the teacher and his stupid stunt. Today really wasn’t the day to play this kind of joke.
“I know it sounds harsh, but the point is to test your critical thinking and learning abilities. You’ve probably grown sick of hearing it, but the spirit tongue is a rich and versatile language with numerous ways to express a concept.”
Half the class nodded in agreement; they indeed were sick of hearing it.
“If we all agree, I’d like to know why for the love of the spirits, year after year some students insist on rote memorization, then completely fail at it.” His sight stayed longer than normal on few students in the back. “Why insist on doing it the hard way when you don’t have the capacity?”
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The school average was fifty-two. Low, but the exercise aimed at teaching a hard truth. Spiritualism was as much literature as natural philosophy. There’s even a saying: ‘Spell is discourse’.
“I’ll distribute the copies according to seat order, stay silent and wait your turn. Stephan, not bad. Lucas, you can do a lot better…”
Since the two Rim born were near the back, they were among the last to receive their copy. “Nadia, you pass, if barely; apply yourself better. Varisa, help your friend, she needs it. Rudolf, your penmanship is the worst I’ve ever seen...”
“How much did you score?” Pressed Varisa
Nadia answered crestfallen “Fifty-six, nineteen good answers, twenty-seven passable, four fails.”
This put her slightly above the average, which a net improvement compared to a few weeks ago but... Was it be enough?
“I know you’re in a hurry to get your answer, but the ranking will only be posted at noon. You’ll have to bear with me until then.” He smirked. “Thankfully, I’ve got something to occupy our time; like the good, bad, and awful answers I’ve taken not of.”
Much, much later.
“As you this, this last spell doesn’t accomplish the set goal. Sure, it technically enriches the ground, but you’ll find people very much mind when you turn their dry fertile land into marshes.” He directed his gaze at Lucas who suddenly found much keen interest in observing the wall.
“Always ask yourself before you cast a spell. What will it accomplish, what are the ramifications?”
A few students rolled their eyes as they’d heard it the first time.
“I see you, punks. Levant, don’t you know perfectly pure water is just as toxic as dirty water?”
Levant shrugged. What with old people and their obsession with water? The Ravealiaean youth having had free access to clean water for all their lives didn’t understand the danger.
“Okay, maybe this one will strike closer to home. Don't throw a fireball when a spark can do the trick.”
The well-known incident got a few laughs from the crowd.
“Finally, it’s fine to leave some details out but make always sure the intent of the spell is clear!” He shouted. “DON'T EVER LET THE SPIRIT DECIDE! They’re even more clueless about us than we about them! Be firm, be clear, don’t hesitate to test the water, but don’t ever leave it to them. Wallner, give me a bad example?!”
He murmured, ‘Me again?’ before answering. “Something like ’Make the water hot’”
“Exactly! Just because you made it work a few times doesn’t mean it’ll always will. It’s either learn or burn.”
“You mean it’s entirely random?” Asked Jakeb worriedly. He was the type who made short spells whenever possible.
“Human mind is a thing of connection; you never know when it’ll derail. I’m not bashing you over and over with the same warnings because I like it. Yours, and more importantly, other people’s life depends on it. Don’t ever forget that.” He recollected himself before excusing himself. “Sorry for the slight overtime. For those interested the results are on the billboard by the library.”
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The students rushed to the site and as expected, it was already overcrowded. With a polite but strong touch, Nadia opened the way.
“Eleven perfect scores.” Noted Aurelia as she scanned the displays from top to bottom at speeds the other couldn’t hope to replicate. “There’s Nadia at one hundred and sixty-three, and that von Cochem reprobate is one hundred and seventy-three with a fifty-one grade. You did it!”
A first, Nadia was stiff and unresponsive Nadia, but as they congratulated her, she started hugging them in response.
“Ouch.” Protested Gerard as she bear-hugged him. “Stop! You’re hurting me!” For once, there was no stutter.
“Sorry.” Even if she tried to control herself with him, he was frail beyond belief.
“Why... Never… mind.” This was neither the time nor place.
“Um?” She quickly forgot about it.
“Let’s have a feast at the school restaurant tonight.” Proposed Varisa “I’m paying obviously.”
“Are you for real?” Sylvester, with his usual lack of manner, spoke out loudly what the other only dared to think.
“For real! Bring some friends, because I’m feeling generous.” She turned to Nadia with a hint of worry. “But not Tina.” There was no telling how much she’d eat and if there’d be anything left for the others.
********************************
Earlier at the vice principal office. “Great uncle, you have to help me. If I go home, I'll be killed or worse!”
"Once a ruling has been made, it can’t so easily be overturned.” It was never stated it was a competition, he’d left the terms deliberately vague so he could fudge the results.
“I know that.” Basil had an uncanny sense of when people wished him harm, and he’d joined the noble clique to keep himself from harm... A very bad decision in retrospect. “I wondered if you could help me join an apprenticeship. I’ll do Anything as long as it keeps me away from home!”
“Do you really understand what it means? Without your family’s support, you’ll be treated the same as any other apprentice.”
“Hard work and simple living condition. It sounds like paradise compared to home.” As the fifth son of a minor noble family, he never had much prospect a fact his elder siblings ingrained into him with violence.
“Many a noble would choose death over such conditions.” Or so they’d say.
“Better than being my brother’s training dummy. My mistake was joining a clique.” He’d only did so to protect himself from bullying. So much for turning his life around...
“There is a procedure but...” There might be some value in the boy, after all, but first he’d have to test him.
“What’s the catch?” A pessimist knew everything had a price.
A misguided, sad little boy but not desperately stupid. “As an act of goodwill, and to demonstrate your seriousness. I want you to apologize to those you’ve troubled: teacher, staff, classmates, including the two foreigners.”
“I’d lick their boot clean to get away from my family!” His eldest brother once forced him to do just that, and it'd been a muddy day.
“I’m not asking about your fetish.” Joked the vice-principal. A loveless and prideless child was easy to guide and use.
Moved, he cried. “Thank you. Thank you very much, great uncle.” He’d acted in desperation but hadn’t expected mercy. “I heard that girl broke my hand by accident. Is that true?”
“Probably, real Warriors are genuine monsters.” And she was strong enough to overpower Tina after all, who was already match for the royal school guards.
Basil shuddered and gulped. “I’ll start with the staff.”
********************************
The school restaurant was full. At first, there’d only been a few extras, but now the spongers vastly outnumbered the guest. Sadly, Varisa was too drunk to care, and Nadia didn’t know how to resolve the situation without violence.
“Jerks! All of them. Even my father! I should have left them to rot!” Sobbed the host.
“I hear you! They’re like ‘Work harder, Sylvester.’ ‘Put some effort, Slyvester!’ Fuck them, I’m top of the year!” Grumbled Wallner as he poured himself some wine, although mostly around his glass.
“Yeah! Yeah! I hear you!” This was Stella Von Lettia. “Mongrel this, mongrel that! Freaking retards, they’re fifty years late to the party and don’t even know it!”
Empty glasses and bottles littered the table. Their three monologues rarely intersected with each other, but that was apparently enough encouragement to lay their heart.
Back in the rim, strong Alcohol was rare commodity only available by trade, she never had a chance to taste. In Central, money was the limit, and she had a lot of it.
Varisa shook an empty bottle of spirit over her glass, to no avail, not a single drop. She next turned to the pitcher of wine, but its former content now laid upon the table and floor. She then spied a small keg of beer, but it was similarly empty. Sadly, it gave her inspiration. “Wait... Wait a minute. Beer and bread are the same thing, right? Cereal and yeast. Then, why don’t we ask the spirit to make it into alcohol?”
Her male smashed companion agreed whole heartedly. “This is... genius!”
Stella was left with enough intelligence left to remember it wouldn’t suffice, but sadly not enough to put a stop to it. “Isn’t wine and beer aged or something?”
“It’s... rotted, I think.” Contributed Sylvester.
The trio of drunk worked on a new spell which (hopefully) would liquefy, age and turn the bread into a delicious elixir.
It was a spell like there’d never been before, and it may have worked if it weren’t the impossible stamina drain. In a matter of seconds, they fell into slumber. A pungent smell quickly spread across the room, overwhelming, guest, spongers and staff alike.
Many fell vomiting, others ran to the exit, but few got away unscathed.
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