Iona sat alone upon the empty stage, resting her rear against a stool with her eyes cast downward in reflection, as she waited. When the creaking of the seats silenced from the spirits of those who would eventually read her writing, her imagined audience, she stood, looking out over them as she tuned in. Though she couldn’t see their faces, she addressed them as her friends.

“Building bridges of communication is difficult when it only comes from one side, so consider the theater a weight station. While I take a rest in the front row of the audience, come and tell me your stories, entertain me with the lessons you’ve learned doing your Shadow Working. It may be dark, it may be tragic, but I’m Greek in spirit, even if I only speak English. Every last one of the deities that found me as a kid came from Mt. Olympus, they are my family and my heritage; scary-ass cousins, burly masculine uncles, and fiercely feminine aunts, a mother and father figure to show me the best example of parents. The gods show me what family could really be, so I know what to look for when I find it. But my brothers and sisters are in the humans; they are the ones I need to find. My brothers and sisters are the ones who are trying to make change for the better, in themselves and the world. We are the Diamonas. We are the soldiers that should have never been. We are the families beyond blood ties because we are connected spiritually.

“I shared the truth of my spiritual reawakening, not to brag or dick wave. I shared it so no one else would do it themselves, thinking they were immune because I did it. I was convinced it wasn’t real. I believed the words of those that diminished my faith by saying it could never happen because they had never seen proof. When I tried to present them with the evidence I collected, they called it stupid, that I was reading too much into it, trying to twist the truth to fit. When I was young, the best thing I could offer was the unshakable faith I had in the people around me, the unyielding optimism that said things could always get better. As I got older, that faith was tested, but I never turned to the gods. Like many from the backgrounds like my own, I’d lost faith in them. At my lowest point, where the pervasive ennui kept me preserved, I decided to reach out to the one group left that I had faith would take action.

“The easiest way to piss off a demon is to tell them that they can’t, they can’t break me down, they can’t make me give up, they can’t help me rebuild. I pissed them off and sat back, watching them destroy me, ruining my life to get back to living it. With a resounding chorus of, “hold my beer and watch this,” the demons played, forced me to speak the words that haunted me to the people I loved, making them hurt with me. I didn’t have a choice with my Shadow Work, I was trained by the demons themselves. They made me face rage, envy, selfishness, desire, and the constant need to acquire the power to free myself from it all. Because of them, I could look at my reflection in the mirror and admit that I hated the one looking back and know why I hated myself so much, so I could fix it. I was living a lie and playing a role that I had never wanted to play in a story that had been written for me by people who didn’t care. I was not who I felt like, the oftentimes ignored parts of the shadow that are positive, instead of painful.

“When Murphy pointed out that a lot of what I was doing and feeling correlated to Jung’s psychological teachings, I started researching them for myself. The first hit on a Google search for “What is Shadow Work?” brought up a fantastic resource by Scott Jeffrey called “Shadow Work: A Complete Guide to Getting to Know Your Darker Half”. Suddenly, I was relieved to have an expert. It made me realize that Shadow Work doesn’t have to include Spiritualism, it is something that every person on the planet can do, and should regularly. I am a Shadow Worker by nature, thanks to the demons, I know that to be true. After inviting them in, all fifteen legions, I stood there with a sign that said, “free hugs”. Shadow Work isn’t about expelling them, the inner demons we face. It’s about embracing them.

“When someone hurts us, be it abuse or just being a dick, it creates an echo of their actions and words in our minds that become our inner demons, our personal legion, and it’s up to us, not to tame, but to domesticate them. They are your demons. You can make them bow down. In the language of demons, dominance is king, all you need do is wear the crown. Stand up in the face of your own nightmares, thump your chest, and roar. Let them know there’s a new monarch in charge and then challenge them to build a better world. Spiritualism aside, this is what Shadow Working is for.

“When I stood upon the stage, in the Theater of the Id in my mind, my demons filled in the seats, the faces of my bullies and abusers, yelling, thrashing, and going wild. It was up to me to get their attention. It was up to me to calm them. I had to not only speak but believe in the words I delivered. But, to do that I had to see what the world saw when they looked. I listened to the hatred, calling me fat, ugly, and worthless. I looked at myself as the outcast teenager; unknown, alone, and unloved. Then I saw the flipside of the coin, what would have happened if I wasn’t; if I was that picture-perfect, popular beauty growing up. Life wouldn’t have been easier; it would have been more dangerous. Back when I was a teen, I was trusting and naïve, I would have been hurt worse than I had. Instead, I heard the bullies’ words, I took the time to absorb them, and I realized that, if I hadn’t had them, I would have been ignorant of the danger. Now, if I hear a voice that sounds like them in a new person I find, I know that they are not the kind of people I want in my life. Demons teach by drawing out the worst parts of ourselves, putting them on display for the universe, and daring you to love them.

“Unconditional love, for a demon, is terrifying and painful. The only kind of love they know is conditional, toxic, and destructive. It’s hard to forgive a demon, even harder to thank them. Finding a way to do so made me realize that, to let them go, I had to embrace them. The fact that it is so hard is exactly why I did it. To my bullies, I thank you for targeting me instead of someone else, instead of hurting someone who wasn’t bred for it and destroying them, you targeted a demon who could learn from it. But I am Diamonas, now. It’s time for us both to move on. Part company from me, not as my enemy but as a neutral. Maybe, someday, when you have figured out exactly who you are, we can meet again on the path of peace and we can get to know each other. With that declaration, I sent those demons home with love, back to the people that put them in my head so they could show their source how I’ve grown, in the hopes that they could do it themselves. Then came the abusers, the ones who create victims and enjoy it. I had to see how their hatred shaped me into one of them.

“I had to ask, when I opened my mouth, were the words mine or theirs? Why do I feel so bad right now? What is it that doesn’t feel right? Why do I make the people around me hurt when I want them to smile? Am I perpetuating the cycle in a new way? Am I foisting my trauma onto the innocent in the form of repeated warnings, giving my experience to them in the form of a new fear, keeping them trapped in their own minds and skin instead of encouraging them to experience life for themselves? When I see a person struggling, my first instinct is to help. But sometimes the help of a demon causes more damage than is necessary to heal. It’s up to me to say enough. It’s up to me to know when to quit. Whether or not I do is an argument of Wisdom versus Intelligence, but I’m getting better every day. This is why I’m choosing to skip the details of what I went through in my writing, though I’m no longer embarrassed or ashamed. I am choosing to break the cycle of it, starting with myself and going from there. I will create no more victims. I will move on. I will start fresh spiritually and know my darkness is there, but I’m in control. If something tries to draw it out, be it a person or a situation, I know I have what it takes to get past it, to not only survive but thrive. I’ve done it before; I can do it again. Don’t believe me? Hold my beer and watch this.

“To my abusers, I thank you, for giving me the tools that I need. Because of you, I can recognize the evil in humanity. I have seen the vile up close, seen the sadistic glee in their eyes when they hurt me. I know the names of the demons because you gave them a face. For that, I thank you, but I am no longer in your debt because you have nothing left to offer me. If I hear your echoes in any new voices, I know how not to listen. Spiritually, I am free of you, though I may still see your meat suit. But I am stronger now than I ever was, stronger than I thought I could be. Not because you beat me down, but because I got back on my feet. My strength is mine and mine alone because I am the one who sees it. I have my own legion because of you, it is vast and ever-expanding. Your contributions are no longer needed nor requested; it’s time to leave me be. I know who you are and what you have done. Go back to the holes you crawled out of; I am no longer your victim.

“With those thoughts and that intent, to finally let it go, I sent the demons they created back to their sources to teach them the lessons of their victims, severing their connections as they went to protect myself from their negative influence. Sometimes they try to creep back in, but I know what to do when that happens. It’s easy for me to embrace and let go because I have so much experience with it. I still live with my abusers, though I plan on leaving when I can, going full zero-communication, and it’s not as bad as it has been. Now the only demons left in my mind are those that I chose to keep, to remind me that I am capable of both hurting and healing. I am a non-combatant, but I am not a pacifist. I am simply at peace and wish to share it.

“Which brings me back to the narrative and why I decided to share it with the world. I want to be the proof that you need, as the reader, to see that the world really is a magical place when you get out of your head and enact the plans you’ve made. If I can do it, anyone can. I want to make the world a better place, even if it’s just what’s around me, through hard work and perseverance. With the demons outside of the theater of my mind, both known and unknown, giving me space and quiet to think, I stand on the stage in front of the seats filled with the spirits of an audience of like-minded people, who are understanding and supportive. I know, in the future, when I share what it is that I have learned, the unknown demons will surface and try to break down the door. But I am not afraid. In fact, I bid them come. Let me show the world how demons teach their lessons by making them an example when they try to shake my faith in the world and humanity’s capability of growth.

“Whether you are reading this now because you’re a witch wanting to learn, or because you are open-minded and what to try to be a better person, know that I love you, know that I believe in your strength. The fact that you found me now is proof that you can make a change.”

*****

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*The sponsors in this case are the gods. We don’t actually have any money.

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*****

Honest Movie Reviews with Phobos and Deimos:

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It

Honest review is simple: Highly entertaining and definitely a lot of creative licensing to do so.

As a movie for entertainment value, it is fantastic. Highly recommend. Definitely does not belong in the Crime Drama genre, nor should it be referred to as an accurate depiction of the paranormal field or spiritualism. There is a lot more storytelling in this one than the previous iterations of their cases (most likely because Ed and Lorraine are dead and, therefore, can't interfere in the creative process), which is a reflection of the writers wanting to expand the universe without the Warrens at the center, and the visuals are stunning as a result. Deimos and Phobos are pleased with the tension and horror sequences, and glad there was fewer cheesy jump scares that rely on the soundtrack to build tension telling the audience to be scared when nothing on the screen is remotely scary and more psychological horror in the imagery, though the Twins still credit the start of the movement to Jordan Peele with Get Out. Watching the movie, I could easily get sucked in if there were no distractions.

Remember, "Based on a True Story" just means they are using recognizable persons and events to base their story on.

All in all, the three of us would give it 5 out of 6 thumbs up because I am not counting other appendages when it comes to my cousins. Great watch and a great way to show some love to these two idiots by doing so in their name. Patron gods of the Horror Genre; Deimos and Phobos.