The sun was just peeking over the tops of trees as the lone traveler approached the small farmhouse where an eldery man sat in a chair, whittling a stick, calling down to him from his porch.. “Howdy,” He said to the traveler, “Are you Dalton?”

“Yeah, how did you know that?” Dalton asked, taking a step up onto the porch..

“You need to go on a quest, your destiny awaits. You must walk for three days to the other side of the mountain.” The man said without looking up.

“Whoa, what?”

““You need to go on a quest, your destiny awaits. You must walk for three days to the other side of the mountain.”

“I got that part, but why?”

“You need to go on a quest, your destiny awaits. You must walk for three days to the other side of the mountain.”

“This sounds like the plot to a really badly written book. Can I speak to the narrator?”

“You need to go on a quest, your destiny awaits. You must walk for three days to the other side of the mountain.”

“Narrator, I know you’re listening, can we talk a moment?”

A loud voice replied, “This really isn’t done, you aren’t young enough to know everything.”

“I just need some clarity here, this guy ain’t no help. What’s he going on about?”

“Hey look, “ the voice a bit softer in tone now, “This story is about a guy who goes on a quest to find his true destiny. That’s you, you are the chosen one.”

“Chosen to do what exactly?”

“I can’t tell you that, it is in the prophecy that the man from the river would-”

“About that, did you have to mean it literally? Did you really have to toss me in the river for no reason on the last page? My shoes still squish when I walk.”

“Stop vexing me and just go on the quest already.”

“Not til I know what I am chosen to do.

“Look man, I didn't write this, you are the chosen one.”

“Can you at least tell me what I was chosen to do?”

“You have to walk three days-”

“Yeah I heard the other guy already. Do I look like the type of person who can walk three days? I’m an accountant, not an athlete or a soldier or any of that other stuff you normally read about in stories about the quote, unquote, “chosen one”

“You have to fulfill the prophecy.”

“Can you at least tell me a little more about this prophecy?”

“Oh very well, I see you won’t shut up and do anything til I explain it.

Back at the beginning of this story it was prophesied that a man from the river would meet a woman of scented lavender and together they would rescue humanity from a terrible fate.”

“What am I gonna do with this flower scented woman, her taxes? Don’t string me along like this.”

“I cannot tell you what you will do when you meet her.”

“How will I know this woman? Lots of women wear lavender perfume.

Is she at least pretty? You’re not trying to pass your ugly cousin Sheila off on me are you?”

“No, no, of course not. Now back to the story.”

“Wait I’m not done, what if I don’t want to be the chosen one? What happens then?”

“You have to, you are the MC of the story.”

“What if I want to just sit on the porch and whittle like this guy, here.? I can tell someone else to walk over the mountain for three days and hook up with Sheila.”

“Again this is not about my cousin Sheila. Now will you please start walking.”

“Can I at least drive over the mountain?”

“Oh all right, it’s gonna change the bear attack part of the story though.”

“Bear attack? I was gonna get attacked by a bear? This author is sadistic.”

“Let's get on with this story already.”

Two hours later, Dalton parked his car and went into the dimly lit bar. The heavy scent of lavender wafted through the room, coming from a woman seated in the back corner.

“Hello, Dalton, I’m Shiela.”

“Narrator, we need to talk.”