Michael

‎ I wake up slowly, surveying my surroundings with my newly discovered sixth sense before fully opening my eyes. I'm now wondering where the perfectly dim faint light is coming from and I'm wondering how I missed it before going to sleep. There certainly isn't any electric power up here, and I didn't see nor smell any candles.

I sit up slowly, stretching with a silent sigh, that was a very restful sleep. I look at my $7k watch for the first time since being here, an item Mirabilis only thought to give me once we got here yesterday, that and my shoes. I think I was enjoying the bare rock on my feet too much to notice that she had all my clothes on her when I got out of the water. And wondering where on her person she kept my possessions while we walked is giving me an existential crises.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, how was your first rest on Gaia?" Mirabilis projects to my head from across the cavern with a tender smile on her face.

You can't trust someone that smiles all the time, they have something they're hiding. Its psychology 101, most people hide behind a smile to avoid uncomfortable questions.

"I'm fine." I say in my head, trying to project my inner voice and seeing what happens, I don't thing she 'hears' me though. That would be good, I was worried they may be able to read my thoughts. I tried lying to Jonah yesterday, couldn't do it, at least you can't actively knowingly lie on this mountain like she said. Trust but verify, take nothing for granted, these people don't owe me anything.

I check everything on me again just to make sure I'm carrying everything I had on me in the car with Edgar. I'm trying not to think to much about the people I've left behind seemingly only a few hours ago. I'm trying to disregard the time difference these people that found me say exists between our two worlds. A difference that is something like a year on earth for every hour on Gaia.

I look at my watch again. It's supposed to be water resistant, run on solar somehow as well as batteries and also tell the phases of the moon. It still runs as well, but the battery is fried. According to the watch I've been asleep for 10 hours.

I put on my wedding bend and look into my wallet. There are pictures of James, Veronica and Alice. I try not to undermine Owen and feed into his competitive paranoia but I have always treated Veroni like she was my own. A little secret known only by Forrester, Grace, Alice and the old man.

She used to come into bed with Alice and I when she had a nightmare more often than James did. I miss them already, and if so many years have already passed for them I pray to God they are happy. That little Jennifer is safe and somehow knew that I loved her.

There are also some coins, notes and credit cards in my wallet. Probably all useless now but I won't discard anything from home, I'm sentimental like that. I flex my legs, feeling them on me, I'm a complete man again and unlike the last time I had legs I now know what to do with them.

The lose of something gives a person time to fantasize about all the things I could have done with it. You learn to appreciate what you do have in your wallowing of what you've lost. At least that's how it was for me when I got paralyzed, and there is a lot I still need to meditate on that was revealed to me on my passage to here.

And that's exactly what I do. I sit up on the cot in the perfect lighting with the perfect temperature whilst still feeling filled with vitality and well rested. I get into a full lotus position by myself for the first time in my life. My leg muscles and tendons stretching easily but with slight resistance.

Gods, its really good to feel that. The position is comfortable, almost restful, almost like sitting on a chair. I take a breath and adjust my hands into a mundra on my knees, everything is so effortless, so in line with what I want. I calm myself, bringing myself to center.

First I meditate on my body, each and every part I can feel, from my eyes, my ears my nose. The imperceptible colours that I see behind my lids when my eyes are closed. The sounds I hear and the feel of the air as it passes over my ears. The feel of the air as it passes in and out of my nasal passages, the bending of the hair follicles in my nose. The scents that around my, familiar or exotic, identifiable or not.

I move to my skin, the largest organ in the human body, what do I feel on my skin. Nothing is itchy or irritated or walking on me. The air feels soothing on my skin, caressing, like a lover's hand.

I focus on my muscles next, how each is stretched right now from my neck, my shoulders, my back, my chest, my arms forearms and hands. Flexing them each as individually as I can, listening to my body, giving it my undivided attention.

It takes a while to go through everything as thoroughly as I can, but my escort didn't particularly seem in a hurry. I go through my entire body, spending time at my gut in wonder and the nerve cells found there. Enteric nervous system I think its called, who would have known that gut feelings have so much basis on actual gut feelings.

My newly realized senses are alive and so distinctive as an actual sense. I have no words to describe it for anyone on earth but if your gut tells you something isn't right, then most likely something isn't right. But this sense is so much more than a warning system, it's like a navigational guide as well of some sort. The way I managed to following that trail while in a white blinding mist while traveling down the side of a mountain taller the Everest is either pretty cool or uncanny.

I meditate on my legs, everything feels great, better than new. I can feel no pain or injuries on myself, my back and spine feel fine, better than ever.

After taking inventory of myself I clear my mind, emptying it with my muntra. Filling my entire thoughts with my muntra before abandoning even that slowly, leaving myself calm, clear, empty, rested my thoughts floating outside the direct path of my mind. Not getting in the way of clarity.

Then I try to bring everything I have had a revelation in to the forefront of my mind. Trying to assimilate everything into me as thought, my thoughts. My body, spirituality, the soul, storms. These are the four major topics to which I have received unfathomable revelations. These are the cornerstones of what I will be in this world, but I won't limit myself to just these.

There are many little channels of truth that were revealed to me I still remember. Things that could expand my mind or understanding of so many different things, free me from so many things that become weights dragging us down. I start immediately.

I start with my spirituality because I'm mostly familiar with how that should go. I focus on my root chakra, visualizing it as I breathe the ether rich air and imagine myself directing it into my root chakra. Pulling out all the impurities it accumulated on earth with every exhale. I take my time, my ass solidly on the ground, helping my root chakra ground me. It takes a while before I'm satisfied enough to continue but I get there eventually.

I focus on my sacral chakra, visualizing it, focusing on clearing it of impurities and breathing life into it. Trying to do all these things with no preconceptions of limits on my mind, my body, time or chakra. I've looked for God and spiritual awakening in many places before I found him mainly in Christianity, but that isn't to say that's the only route to spiritual enlightenment. And through all my journey I've discovered one thing without a doubt. Which is I have no fucking idea what is actually going on in the spiritual.

Preconceptions are blinders we put on ourselves so we only see the path we want to see. I try not to limit myself in that way and I pray that I am not somehow misled by the many truths that present themselves to me. Once I'm satisfied with my sacral chakra I work on connecting it by a thin thread with my root chakra, a delicate operation but I manage.

Then I focus on my third chakra point, the solar plexus chakra. The higher up I go the more difficult it becomes and the longer it seems to be taking, by the time I've connected my second and third chakra points I have a light shin of sweat on my forehead. But I can't stop, not with the momentum I've built up, not with how thoroughly this is all happening. I can almost physically feel everything I'm visualizing happening within my body's spiritual lines.

For the first time since I started meditation on chakra so many years ago its starting to feel like a substantial thing. I work on my heart chakra, spending a lot of time on it, tears flowing down my face as it blossoms like a flower somewhere insatiable within my chest.

I connect it to my solar plexus, then I move to NY throat chakra. There all the momentum I've built up seems to cone to nothing. My throat chakra is clogged, but I know that without my writing it would have been even worse. I work on it, visualizing this blue ball that gets purer and purer the more I breath ether into it and pollutant out.

I think I spend the most amount of time on this, by the time I finally find satisfaction with a loud sigh I'm soaked in sweat and shivering slightly with a fever. I push on, connecting my heart to my throat chakra. My mind is numb and my body seems to have had enough but my will is up for the challenge. Why stop now? I once ran until I collapsed from exhaustion, my body unable to go on any further even as I tried to will myself to keep going.

That's what you do when you get stranded behind enemy lines, knowing the fucked up shit they will do to you if they catch you, you surpass what you thought were the limits of your body, motivated by fear, a will to survive, and sheer stubbornness. And so like I did then I push on, tears flowing down my face for a different reason now.

I work on my third eye chakra, visualizing its indigo colour and cleansing it as much as I am able. It isn't as difficult as the throat was, but I'm soo tired now. I connected it to my throat chakra and then I give all my remaining strength into the cleansing of my crown chakra. I expect to put a lot of effort into it but it opens like a dam that was ready to burst at any moment.

I sigh loudly as my body convulses in pure insubstantial bliss. A feeling I can only compare to a thousand simultaneous orgasms or what I imagine the first high of a junky to be like. I don't know, but my crown chakra didn't need cleansing, it just needed ether and a clear connection to the rest of my chakra points.

I am not alone, I have never been alone, I am part of a whole, I am connected, yet I am unique, I'm an individual, I am vital, I am bigger than my body can encampus. I am powerful, I am aware of the life around me, all the life around me that has eyes to see is aware of me.

There is a blazing torrent of molten power flowing through me right now, my spirit is feeding, growing. There only limits on me are those I set myself, I am free.